Finally, i have made it in Naija. I can now speak French.
Born June Mama, Come On Serve Her, Serve Her Beer Mercy.

#Xavier.

Some Naija girls love food so much, you will take her to the zoo and ask what's her favourite animal and she will answer: "Roasted Chicken".

#Xavier.

Naija parents can send unnecessary messages when they see you doing nothing. like: Ayodun! Go and check whether there is air outside.

In Naija movies, the poor boys always meet the rich man's daughter by the road side and repair her car and they later fall in love.
I have been standing by our village roadside and no car got spoiled. Are this people fooling us?

#Xavier.

Here is my special advice to girls: Never, i mean Never you date a Naija school drop out. They will leave you the same way they left school.

#Xavier.

Hello, Fellow Nairalanders, followers and Viewers of this thread "CHRONICLES OF JOKES", This is to inform you all that you are free to post any Jokes, Funny Memes (pictures), Funny Videos and Funny Audios here to keep the thread moving.
And don't forget to leave a comment, hit the like and share button when you visit or view the thread.
THANKS.

#Xavier.

Erection can make a Guy tie his Shoe Lace for no Reason.

#Xavier.

You can UnCloth a lady in 5 secs in the dark but you can't open psalm 51 in broad day light...
Come & enter heaven lemme see!

#Xavier.

The difference between BATHROOM
and BAFFROOM .................
In BATHROOM, one can take a cute
selfie.
But in BAFFROOM, hmmm
hmmmmm!
If your soap falls on the floor, just
forget it!

#Xavier.

The way Africa is corrupt .You need connections to get into a relationship. She will ask you....' Who gave you my number ?

#Xavier.

Once u see a girl laffing and chatting
Just know she has successfully deceived somebodiz son

#Xavier.

"PLEASE Thank God with me. They atak me in bed ds morning by 2.30am. They came in 2 my room while I was sleeping. I heard their sound as they moved accros d rum 2wrds me. As i got up, I remembad d scripture dt says "He has nt given us d spirit of fear..." As one of them came to attack, I had no choice bt to defend myself. I quickly struck! The second one also flew at me, I cudn't bliv wht was hapening. My neighbours heard d chaotic soun that was emerging frm my rum & were wondering wht was wrng, I eventually hit d second one too, my hands were stained with blood. They lay still, So I wondered if they were stil alive, bt when I looked at them on d floor, I foundout one was stil moving, I struck again n ds time I hit harder in anger. THAT IS HOW I KILLED THE TWO GIANT MOSQUITOES ATTEMPTING TO SUCK MY BLOOD.. Praise the Lord!

#Xavier.

YAHOO GIRLS

Girl: Baby I want to buy a new phone.

Akpos: Tell me about it
.

Girl: It is TECNO PHANTOM 6' I have been saving for it &
my
money isn't enough. I just want you to add little.

Akpos: Ok how much is the phantom 6?

Girl: just 70,000

Akpos: How much have you saved?

Girl: 1,500

Akpos: Which type of thunder would you prefer ?
Amadioha of Egypt or Oganigwe of Gabon or Igbudu
of
iyawundeh?
Choose one. Ole. Onyoshi.

#Xavier.

Hello, Fellow Nairalanders, followers and Viewers of this thread "CHRONICLES OF JOKES", This is to inform you all that you are free to post any Jokes, Funny Memes (pictures), Funny Videos and Funny Audios here to keep the thread moving.
And don't forget to leave a comment, hit the like and share button when you visit or view the thread.
THANKS.

#Xavier.

Are you feeling neglected or abandoned? Do you want your friends to always have you in their heart and constantly stay in touch? Borrow money from all of them and travel!!!

#Xavier.

They say milk give strength and when you drink 5 cups of milk you cant even move your bedroom wall. But when you drink 5 bottles of beer, you just stare at the walls and they move by themselves...these scientists what are they missing?

#Xavier.

So I told this slay queen that my dad has a very plantain plantation .
She said my dad is a learner.
That her dad has a big maize maization, yam yamtation, banana bananation, tomatoe tomatation, okro okation and casava casavation.

I just woke up in the ICU now.

#Xavier.

Imagine a porn star who just won an award the best porn star of the year and she was like "Firstly I will love to thank the almighty God for......" For what sister ? I repeat for what? You dey mad?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Xavier.

SERIOUS COURT CASE!

I can't laugh alone
A man and his wife were in court to have a Divorce.
The problem in contention was ....who should have the possession of the child.??
The man or the woman?
The woman jumped up and said... "My Lord, I am the mother of the child, I brought her into this world, with pain and labour.... alone".
The judge then turned to the man and gave him the chance to defend himself and the man said ..
"My lord ..I have a question, ....when you insert your ATM card into the ATM machine and the money comes out does the money belong to you or the machine....."?

Court adjourned.

A friend of mine told me his father just bought a brand new Android car.
I told him that our swimming pool got burnt yesterday.
Then he blocked me
What did I do to deserve this?

#Xavier.

Family members who visits you and ends up taking your cloth, shoe, spray, lipstick, powder, e.t.c....... Are your true relathieves.

#Xavier.

EPIC REPLY.

Lydia: All Men Are Dogs.

Akpos: Which Breed Is Your Father?


#Xavier.

You know your village people are at it again when you date a crippled guy and the guy still walks out of the relationship.

#Xavier.

Nigeria police be like
OH!!!!!! You think you have all the receipt abi? ahah hha!
Oya!! Where is the receipt of all your receipts.

#Xavier.

Dating a girl with a big head is not a problem, the problem is when she wants to lie on your Chest with that tombstone.

#Xavier.

Listening to your wife is like looking at the terms and conditions of a website. You understand nothing but still agree.

#Xavier.

The World is funny if the Govt finds Diamonds in your backyard Its government property but if they find Weed my friend Its yours alone.

#Xavier.

If your lady answers her phone in front of you and starts clicking the "volume down" button. That's him my brother.... that's him.

#Xavier.

Gentleman, If your lady calls another man "Sweetie, Bae, Boo or Baby" trust me, there is chance that nothing is going on with them. But you see that one she's calling "big head" he's the Potential threat, kill him, I repeat, kill him.

#Xavier.

Witchcraft is when you're suspecting that your boyfriend has a side chick,
then boom!!!
You're the side chick...

#Xavier.

After giving him all ur styles in bed, he still says the person dat will marry u will be very lucky........my sister stone him to death

#Xavier.

Dear women, learn to trust your husband's even if the reason they give you is not convincing.
Imagine Jonah's wife when he came home after 3days claiming he had been swallowed by a fish.

#Xavier.