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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman (27432 Views)
RE: 4 Out Of 5 Pastors Said She Is My Wife, But We Dont See Eye To Eye / Woman Exposes Her Husband Who Got Married To Another Woman Last Week / Zimbabwean Woman Married To Another Woman For 3 Years Just Found Out (pic) (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by SafeDavid(m): 7:28am On May 01, 2017 |
dingbang: That she*t don't work. Your best friend could even turn against you. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by dingbang(m): 7:29am On May 01, 2017 |
SafeDavid:fallacy |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by echidi: 7:29am On May 01, 2017 |
[quote author=Kondomatic post=56086702]You're one of the people that give men bad name [/quote.....DAts y somtims asking for advice Goes rung wen u hve the likes of these type...mY brother I understand the situation u re having....mY advice iS FoR u to ask GoD For ForGiveness n den your wife....Den Try to InBibe those things u don't see in your Wife into her I believe this will readjust your love life with your Wife....and FoR the single once its lways gOod To mrry Your best frnD........ |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by smada13(m): 7:30am On May 01, 2017 |
Op I'm sorry, you are stupid! A very stupid man and a coward at that! All because of a stupid lady that know you are married and decided to have a fling with you and later got her senses back, you want to leave your family for her? You are stupid and silly! Why did you go into marriage when you know you can't stay? How do you think your wife will feel if she gets to know why you suddenly changed? And your kids?, you want to make heir life miserable cuz of your selfish attitude? And you even have the mind to go see a counselor with half information? But why are men like this? Don't even say you care for your wife cuz if you truly do, you won't think of the rubbish. I won't advice you not to go ahead with what is in your head but I massively pray that your wife will have the strength and courage to bear it. But I bet you, that miserable life you are looking for will visit you in hundred fold! But I pray for you that God will remove that cloak the devil has put in your eyes to render you useless. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by SafeDavid(m): 7:32am On May 01, 2017 |
dingbang: I don hear... Like you don't know the popular saying that there are no permanent friends but permanent interests. In marriage, you both have common interest which is to build a family and raise healthy kids. Finding fulfillment and happiness while doing this is a plus unfortunately not everyone gets. 1 Like |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by SafeDavid(m): 7:33am On May 01, 2017 |
smada13: Can't you make your opinion known without insults? 1 Like |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by miraclea: 7:34am On May 01, 2017 |
I want to say that this is not going to be the last girl you will fall in love with you will get attracted to as many as long as you live people Wed and take marriage vows because of situations like this and am happy you did not accused this woman of any wrongdoing other than your lust for extra marital affairs I want to believe that you are currently carried away by fantasy shape and sex styles my parents part away when i was small and the scars of what I went through still live with me now any lady who knows you are married and still going out with you is never ordinary you can only fool yourself let me tell you what will happen when you marry your lust 1)You begins your journey to a fragmented life 2) you enroll in the school of peace aborters 3)your children becomes orphans you will try your best buy you can't change the situation 4)you may end up marying another woman |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Maris0427: 7:35am On May 01, 2017 |
Men find the flimsiest excuse to justify their cheating these days...15 years That's way too long to be with someone u claim u don't love 1 Like |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Kay25(m): 7:35am On May 01, 2017 |
You can't care for your wife and still love another woman.you simply in lust thinking of what the other woman has that your wife does not posses which is where you are getting it wrong.get focussed man,work on your wife she can always be better and take your eyes off those things that the other woman has and see the beauty ur wife posses.no one is good enough but contentment makes the better. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by onyxo76(m): 7:36am On May 01, 2017 |
Thank God for this topic and responses, it's almost applying to me as well but thank God for taking control. I was getting too close to one funny hijab sister like that at work who is very friendly etc and loves to come to greet me etc, and I m not even a Muslim for that matter but we got quite close, I just had to distance myself from her even though it's not easy . Go and pray very well and all will be well with you. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by chukwudi3(m): 7:37am On May 01, 2017 |
ItzChinnex:Ur eye go soon clear. After 15yrs of marriage and two kids, now u realised u don't luv ha. U be mumu. Go for Christian counselling asap nd be delivered of spiritual wife for it has come to scatter ur marriage. Read rev chapters 17 and 18 and c it's works. Again, I think DAT oda woman has used something on u. I want to warn u again, go for Christian counselling now! If u put away ur wife or ever neglect ha, ur connection and finance will cripple. Mark ma word. Read again Matt 19 :4,5 and 6. Leave marriage counselors DAT has no holy spirit. Also detach from DAT oda girl nd c DAT u luv ur wife. Pls pls do it right away, u av nothing to lose. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by menxer: 7:38am On May 01, 2017 |
Loving in marriage is not a 100m race. Keep the side chick till the attraction wears off, but hold your family with a firm hand. The street is littered with too many broken homes, don't add yours to the mix. 3 Likes |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by dingbang(m): 7:40am On May 01, 2017 |
SafeDavid:dat saying applies to politics alone.. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:41am On May 01, 2017 |
Mynd44:True talk, but nowadays people fall in love for body, sex or money, get married and in the long run they find out that they have been chasing shadows. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by tete7000(m): 7:41am On May 01, 2017 |
This is what you get when kids go into marriage. Rubbish! 1 Like |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:42am On May 01, 2017 |
She gave you hot sex and you think you love her. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by ztanleechima(m): 7:42am On May 01, 2017 |
what nonsense Mtcheeew. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:44am On May 01, 2017 |
Out with the old in with the new...such is life..just don't be cruel.. Datsol folks |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by sebali: 7:45am On May 01, 2017 |
baby124: So on point bro. With an exception to ur last sentence, u re hundred percent correct.(marriage is a life time affair so if its not working i recommend u try to make it work wish the OP is already doing by seeing a counsellor and if this fail, get out of the marriage ASAP, otherwise you would wind up living a miserable life until ur death) I recommend you go read this book "the five love languages" it would help u learn about what constitute love to you and what constitute love to ur wife(there are actually five love languages and we all fall within one or two). If you know what triggers ur love and hers u wud at least know wat to do to revive the dead affection btw the two of you. Lastly what u have with the other lady is what is called the "in love state" in this state ur hormones are dictating for you... Ur can't actually tell if its love or not because at the moment u psychologically see her as a mate so ur brain wud mak her seem to be d best thing in the whole world and ignore her flaws and differences btw u two, just to ensure you keep seeing(mating with) each other. Usually this fades within a year or two, but urs might last longer with the other lady because its done in secret wish makes it more intriguing and addictive. Stop seeing the other lady, Go read that book, try to set ur marriage right, and if after all efforts you fail, then gt a DIVORCE; it's way beta dan ENDURING MARRIAGE. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Believe7(m): 7:47am On May 01, 2017 |
mr Op this my own little advice to u..i need u to understand dat marriage is all about sacrifice, commitment and understanding..at dis point in ur life, uve gone a long way than backing down now..ave u considered what pple will tink of u?..wud u like it if every one sees u as one who is irresponsible..what d probability dat after taking do woman u claim u are inlove wit to ur home, u will not fall inlove wit anoda after geting tired of using her..because it is human dat u get tired of a tin after using it for a long time..at dis point in ur life, u dnt need to work wit feelings again in ur marriage..buh rather get commited to spouse and sacrifice d sexual pleasure to make ur marriage a dream come true for u both..it is high time u consider every decision ur gonna take and save ur marraige....U OLD FOOL..do u know why i called u so?..because a fool # 40 is a fool forever..i guess u one above 40.. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by sebali: 7:48am On May 01, 2017 |
MissCuppy: Love is an illusion, we confuse attraction and interest for love |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by obailala(m): 7:50am On May 01, 2017 |
Hardeysolution:Bolded part above is a very wrong assumption. Love is involuntary but caring for a person is a decision. A man might 'decide' to care for his wife and his kids because he's generally a caring person and/or cos he chose to do the right thing expected of a responsible person. But that doesnt automatically mean he loves her, love is a different ball game. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by SafeDavid(m): 7:52am On May 01, 2017 |
dingbang: Haven't you heard that we humans are political beings. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Nobody: 7:52am On May 01, 2017 |
Op, you probably came here looking for justification to leave your wife. But marriage is sacred, no amount of 'liberal thinking' is going to change that. Please, mind the comments on this thread and do the right thing. 1 Like |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Selfdesign: 7:52am On May 01, 2017 |
[quote author=baby124 post=56085566]New things always hold our attention till we get used to it and then it loses attraction. I am sure you are not the same sexy man your wife married, and vice versa. The new lady is amazing because she is new too, and you can't believe someone like her will find you attractive. Grow up ! She probably just likes the extra money you can offer. Don't be delusional and stick to your vows. Thank you. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by wristbangle: 7:52am On May 01, 2017 |
Words I can pick from OP story is distance and lust. Speaking from distance corner, no matter how blissful your relationship/marriage is, when you and your partner don't spend quality time together like it was often done in the past due to distance, love fades and the temptation to cheat sets in when he/she fantasies on another person who gives them the necessary attention. For the OP, since the new lady in question in still in her perfect shape but his wife is completely out of the figure 8 he once fall in love with, he feels such is love which is actually lust. I would advise you to stick to your vows and make it up to the woman whom you have made such vows to before things get out of hand. Whether you are twisting the story to say u care but u don't love her is not our business. Stick to your wife sir. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by Believe7(m): 7:53am On May 01, 2017 |
five love languages written by who pls? |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by jaxxy(m): 7:56am On May 01, 2017 |
ItzChinnex: Love where there is no God is highly overrated best call it lust or infatuation. Now did u start having issues with ur wife b4 this co worker came into the picture or after? Don't distroy i good thing for flimsy sex or sensual feelings u allowed developed for sm1. else. However if unknow uve tried ur best and ur marriage isn't working theres not much u can do bt never brake it up just cos of another person. Don't think it makes sense. |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by obailala(m): 8:00am On May 01, 2017 |
2dugged:Wisdom! |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by EzeChux(m): 8:02am On May 01, 2017 |
"I have discovered that love doesn't guarantee the success of a relationship. Love cannot help you stick to one person all year round, and on the other hand, cheating isn't always a product of not loving your partner. In fact, loving someone doesn't guarantee not falling in love with someone else. Relationships work out mostly because of our heads not our hearts. It works out because of our emotional maturity, empathetic intelligence and self discipline; because, time will come when you'll see more beautiful, handsome, romantic, intelligent, sexy, rich, curvy and God fearing people than the one you're in a relationship with. In those times, love will not help you. Self control will help you. Emotional intelligence will come to your rescue and commitment will keep you going. With those characteristics, no matter how you feel for someone else, the person you're committed to will rank first in your life. You think happily married people don't see better people than the ones they married? You think they don't feel funny sometimes? You think they don't catch feelings? They do! But understanding that commitment is greater than feelings and is the great arsenal that do destroy those unhelpful impulses. You can fall in love with anyone, but building a relationship takes absolutely more than what attracted you to them and takes more than love. We are too fond of loving when it's convenient and sweet. We are too fond of loving when love is there; but that can only last for just the first 3 - 6 months of the relationship. After then, you'll realise that the feelings have dropped and it's now your responsibility to make the relationship work, not love's responsibility. Relationships cannot be readymade. You have to build it and it's never always about love, it requires commitment and intelligence. On the long run in marriages, it's not just love that keeps them together forever, it's determination and commitment. Everyone falls in love; it takes little or no effort to do that. But staying in love? Building a relationship? Only the strong and committed ones do that. That's why we must find that one person and commit to that one, discipline yourself and bridle your emotions. Building a relationship is hard work, it's like building a career, It's like pursuing a dream. It's always tough. At some point it will be so bitter but you can make it work by putting your heads together. You can scale through the trying times by staying focused and committed. The kind of love that attracts two people together is not the kind of love that will keep them together. Be emotionally strong and be self disciplined. Please imbibe and share with the young adults, married and unmarried couples. 2 Likes |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by ogbevireo(m): 8:03am On May 01, 2017 |
@ItzChinnex What you're saying in essence is that, instead of reigniting your love for your and children, you have decided to choose another woman. You are also saying that in about 7.5 to 15 years from now, you will choose another woman and realise that you have never known love as you will experience then. Chief, LOVE is a CHOICE. We choose those who we love. It is not just a feeling. No. It is a CONSCIOUS CHOICE!!!! |
Re: Advice : I Care For My Wife But Love Another Woman by sarrki(m): 8:04am On May 01, 2017 |
Mynd44: The word of an elder |
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