I have experience something like dah...knwn the guy for few weeks...when I went to see him...he told me to go to d market nd cook Banga soup for him,on our first date...I was like huh nigga...I didnt move an inch.to marry nor hungry me reach like dah...ve lil respect on a first date nigga,he then said I should serve him nd his friend food he prepared...I just did dah, don't want to b rude in his friend present...wen I was going he didn't give me tfare...I didnt bother to ask. Til date he didn't call me,like I care...nonsense

In the first place why did you go to his house as your first date ole ole olojukokoro

Nofuckgiven:

You are the blockhead because she didn't force him to do all that! If he says no,will she kill him??
Like someone said above, if she didn't want to cook on the first date,she should not have gone to his place! All this issues would have been avoided,I still support her though. The guy should have made the first move to cook and she would have assisted him.
There is no where in the Bible God states that it is a woman's duty to cook,if it is just quote me with that particular chapter or verse.
As long as she is not his wife,it is never her duty to cook for him. Boyfriend or not!! Unless he is ready to assume her financial responsibilies of course.
She can also do like me and date only men who cook. That would save you from all this hullabaloo!

You date only MEN that cook? From your confession, you have dated at least two men that cook. Please is dating one of your hobbies? If your school of thought is working, why hasn't one of those ''men that cook'' married you? Okay happy dating!

sinaj:
I think so too. I wouldn't av cooked either.

I see nothing wrong with it. It depends on how he presented it and the circumstances that led to that. Yes, I am not the very good type, if it wie to be washing of clothes, I would have declined because it will look as if it's planned.
If the asking you to cook iss came in a rude manner, u can instantly and codedly make your point (make him understand its not a responsibility) without his friends noticing what is happening and from his response, u can tell his kind of person. People go wrong without even knowing it

My own is just imagine her without that hair she's on

Geez!

He is a woman beater because he asked her to cook?

LOL!

missomo:
Smart girl. The next date he would have brought out clothes for you to wash.

Set a standard for yourself because if you marry such a man you will never be happy. Men like that end up beating women.

missomo:
Smart girl. The next date he would have brought out clothes for you to wash.

Set a standard for yourself because if you marry such a man you will never be happy. Men like that end up beating women.

Shuuu!

I rebuke your type in Jesus name...Amen

See ashawo wey dem wan elevate to house wife

junnyjake:
All these feministic ideas self!

Were you thinking by dating him, you were doing him a favor?

Could it be possible that you totally misjudged him?

One thing with all these feministic ideas is that they allow for you to have a rigid view of things, " If men do this then he is nothing but a misogynist"

The first time bae visited, I cooked and she enjoyed it, So my ideals don't restrict women to the kitchen.


You said you dumped him, so that's to make you special uh? Fine, Good luck with finding a man who won't ask you to cook.


lalasticlala, or whoever is in charge of this board should move this to FP, so we can have more views on this issue.

Funny enough, the guy may not mean any of the things she insinuated!

mypassions:
How far as your standard take you?
So by refuse to cook or wash is your own way of setting standard?

As far as I am concern, a woman can do those things and still have a standard. The most richest black woman (folunrusho alakija) cook and even wash his man undies despite her wealth. If ladies like you knows how many good lady is out there, you all will dump all these stupid ideology. There is one woman I know, she is very rich because her parent left her with so many properties. She live this same lifestyle as yours because she studied in America, she do jokingly call my mum PARIS and my mum do call her LOS ANGELES. She believe in all these feminist ideology, this made her marriage crashed, she had only one daughter. She tried another marriage but failed because it's hard to have a healthy marriage with such ideology. After some years, her daughter who happened to be her only child died but this woman was already 67yrs. She is very worried now who will take over all the properties and investment her parent left for her. I feel sorry for her but I am very sure she must have many regrets by now. There is nothing like gender equality, there can only be equity. There is a reason why a man stand to pee but a woman bend to pee. Even in sex, there is a reason the woman lay down for the man to climb on. While will a woman chose to be a feminist, that just stress to me because most feminist spent all their life on hating men, thinking and planning on how to overcome or manipulate men. The funniest part is that same man they hate don't even know they exist. So why will a feminist put herself in such stress? Live and enjoy life abeg.

Firstly,you do not know if Foluronsho Alakija cooked for her husband on the first date after they met. Stop using married people to compare two people who have known for just two weeks and have barely agreed to date each other.
Secondly,just because one woman happened to hate men and end up embittered and alone doesn't mean she is a feminist,Chimamanda is a feminist but she is happily married with a son. A man hater is just like a woman hater. They are not feminists.
Stop confusing yourself and others! I am a feminist and I believe in equal rights for men and women. I don't hate men because I love my dad,brothers and my other male friends.
As for the peeing positions,that has nothing to do with feminism or this thread for that matter. Yes women can pee while standing if they wear skirts or gowns and yes women can stay on top during sex and ride a guy. All that is up to the couple to decide mutually,it has nothing to do with equal rights.
Now I am done.

Lightening:


You date only MEN that cook? From your confession, you have dated at least two men that cook. Please is dating one of your hobbies? If your school of thought is working, why hasn't one of those ''men that cook'' married you? Okay happy dating!

Same reason you have not wifed all the ladies that have cooked for you.

oyetpel:
The girl did the right thing. The guy is silly, assuming the guy went to the kitchen to prepare the food, the girl can join him in her own accord, because it was a first date and she ain't his wife or gf yet.

Very good point. The guy has no right whatsoever to order the girl around on a first date or even on any date at all. The girl is NOT his wife!

TheVictorious:


Funny enough, the guy may not mean any of the things she insinuated!

lolzz, let's even look at it like this.

- He wouldn't have invited her over to his house on a first date if he held her in high regard.

- What kind of a first date would I want to have my friends around.

- it's obvious she must have overestimated her importance, to this the guy wants anything serious than fùčk.

- After dropping her off, I could bet he was the one who did the dumping.

- but that guy is something sha, having access to my kitchen is a privilege, and so I can't permit every Aisha, folake, chioma into my kitchen. I'd also need to be impressed with your culinary abilities before giving you the opportunity to cook for my friends

He has no such right...marry her first then ask her to cook

This Bae is nonsense...! ask me why? a sensible woman cannot be so proud of her foolishness. true men who suffer to make it in life maintain their resources, and not lavish it as the young man in a high way. i think you are interested in those robber out their who live life of fast food and restaurant. all the best..OP turn de borad nobody she help

junnyjake:


lolzz, let's even look at it like this.

- He wouldn't have invited her over to his house on a first date if he held her in high regard.

- What kind of a first date would I want to have my friends around.

- it's obvious she must have overestimated her importance, to this the guy wants anything serious than fùčk.

- After dropping her off, I could bet he was the one who did the dumping.

- but that guy is something sha, having access to my kitchen is a privilege, and so I can't permit every Aisha, folake, chioma into my kitchen. I'd also need to be impressed with your culinary abilities before giving you the opportunity to cook for my friends

True, exactly my thoughts. Especially the emboldened.

I think the guy was wrong. You need to treat a lady like a special guest on her first visit to ur crib. After that she's no longer a first timer

Heavance:
Hmmm, you seem to see the guy as an okay person, probably the way he sounded about you cooking turned you off entirely, at times guys can be authoritative without knowing they are, mostly when around their friends.
Should have just gone on more dates, he could turn out nicer than you thought.

Aww nice you..

I'm actually shocked that there can be found a cool headed fellow on NL.

Same shirt

NwamaziNwaAro:

Is this not the same girl who has slept with 2788 men

Nothing we no go see
Even this one wey her Toto don sag and wide like Grand Canyon still dey form for man

I no blame am sha, man must knack.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltSTeZA6xMI

Eaugusta:

I see nothing wrong with it. It depends on how he presented it and the circumstances that led to that. Yes, I am not the very good type, if it wie to be washing of clothes, I would have declined because it will look as if it planned.
If the asking you to cook iss came in a rude manner, u can instantly and codedly make your point (make him understand its not a responsibility) without his friends noticing what is happening and from his response, u can tell his kind of person. People go wrong without even knowing it

According to her story,a guy m getting to knw came to pick me from my house to his own house for the first time nd tells me to cook for him nd his frnds I dnt evn knw. Do I look like a chef to him or what

I dunno bout u but everything is wrong with that for me.

It's a different thing if he is your bf or ur frnd u've known long.

If you like cook, wash cloth, clean his house with ur tongue, a guy that doesn't like u or av feelings for u will still dump u.

Don't perform wifely duties to a guy you are not married to. It was wrong of him to have asked you to cook, especially when you are just getting to know him and not yet in a relationship with him. He probably felt you would be at his beck and call, trying to impress him, knowing his status. I personally feel he was trying to take advantage of you. But you proved otherwise to him. You did the right thing dear. Don't let any negative comments make you feel bad. Most men know many ladies are desperate out there, then try to capitalise on that. It's his loss and not your loss. So stop saying you lost a potential man. Besides you were still getting to know him. His job status and house doesn't guarantee he would be a good husband. Some key things are important, other than materialistic stuff

Seriously??
This mentality of western women and the correlation with high divorce rate.
Obviously came from a poorly brought up setting..
There are traditional women roles, modernization can't change that.
But on a first date..... Ehmmm.

Femlexx:
Alainikanse

Translate, pls!

rumenase:
I thing the guy was wrong. my opinion though

Yes nah shebi you dey dis wit dem

princessayesha:
He has no such right...marry her first then ask her to cook

Oh well, he was wrong on the way he went about it. If I were him. I'd start the cooking and ask her to give me a hand. Gradually shed take over.
I guess that's why we're all different.

You are a radical feminist and that can not work in Africa especially Nigeria....As a woman you need to do that even if you don't like it,you don't expect your guy to go cooking for you young lady ::::these things only happen in Western countries. I must advice you and other ladies,,,,,even if you are the bread winner,respect your man/husband,swallow pride because if no man comes for you,you will remain at home.

Joavid:


Abeg go and sit down!

correct mama. eku ijoko madam

First time I came to visit a potential bf he also asked me to cook,but it was kinda late around 8pm so I told him I don't cook at night besides if he wanted me to cook he would have picked me earlier cos I had to wait for him at a junction for long,,,he was cool with it,the next day I cooked,,long story short,not jus because I cooked,,but of cos he found a wife in me,,today we r so into ourselves soon it'll be our traditional wedding,, well different stroke for different folk,,I actually love cooking and I love him so much.

.

Your mama train you well jare, the beauty of a woman is her character not her facial beauty.

liz4eno:
First time I came to visit a potential bf he also asked me to cook,but it was kinda late around 8pm so I told him I don't cook at night besides if he wanted me to cook he would have picked me earlier cos I had to wait for him at a junction for long,,,he was cool with it,the next day I cooked,,long story short,not jus because I cooked,,but of cos he found a wife in me,,today we r so into ourselves soon it'll be our traditional wedding,, well different stroke for different folk,,I actually love cooking and I love him so much.

You would av give him another chance,I thinks d guy is just happy dt u are around him