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Re: I Advice Please by sesman(m): 3:48pm On Feb 09, 2010 |
I think you need to talk to him about his anger and find out why he gets angry quickly and easily. I know this is his only fault but it is also a very big issue and if doesn't get resolved could lead to a disastrous marraige. perhaps you can ask him to seek help by getting counseling either spiritual or maybe attending anger management classes. I for one dont agree with the whole motion of you leaving him because he has anger isssues, what happened to the human spirit and helping one another to overcome our demons. you should not abandon him because of this. if you love him like you said you do, help him work out his issues, You must be going through a hard time at the moment, situations like yours are very difficult to deal with. I wish you the very best. |
Re: I Advice Please by luxoire(f): 3:54pm On Feb 09, 2010 |
@sesman - thanks - but try telling an african man he needs counselling!!! lol - hmm somehow i dont see that going down too well. i do love him and i am willing to work though it with him -provided he too makes an effort and sees that its a theat to our relationshp - just because its the way he is is not acceptable he has been like that since childhood and when i first met his mum she told me you need a patient heart and calm head to deal with him and to not take things too much to heart i suppose mothers know their sons. its not easy as i need to find a way of dealing with it and talking to him that he wont offend his maculinity |
Re: I Advice Please by Busybody2(f): 7:40pm On Feb 09, 2010 |
@ jaybee The keyword I used was "EMOTIONAL" not "PHYSICAL". Wow, he easily gets angry quickly, his anger knows no bound, his Mum's aware of this, her Mum's aware of this, he's been counselled by the Pastor several times and he is quick to apologise yet goes and does it again, and again and again, luxoire's already walking on eggshells, having to watch her choice of words in order not to set him off, she's not allowed to have a general random conversation with her own Mother about people who have relocated, he does not value her opinion and wants his input on every matter pertaining to both of them to be final, leaving her with no say on anything AND YOU DEEM THIS "SILENT TREATMENT". I love the way Naija men likes closing ranks and rallying round themselves, lol. @ OP Marriage is supposed to be about partnership, with both parties able to zing off each other, rub minds together, be full of laughter and taking the mickie outta one another, having in-jokes between you two, looking out for each other, not having to feel like you are giving up your dreams or making do, with each party respecting each other's decision even if they are different, etc, not about one party having to pander all the time to the whim of the other nor having a Sherpherd and a sheep relationship. Your situation is not ideal for now, so why not try advise him to attend anger management classes, at least it is not different from him visiting the Pastor for counselling. |
Re: I Advice Please by TOPE20001(f): 11:02pm On Feb 09, 2010 |
Busy_body: I agree with everything u have said @post Anger may be his only weak point but it is also a very strong emotion . anger can spoil alot of things n also the guy is childish and arrogant. |
Re: I Advice Please by Nobody: 11:10pm On Feb 09, 2010 |
wait till he starts slapping you when you're married. If you were my sister i would insist you DO NOT marry that man. |
Re: I Advice Please by 404eater(m): 11:42pm On Feb 09, 2010 |
You say he is perfect, meaning you think it would be hard to find someone like him. But when you're married no one will rescue from his anger. he cannot even respect your mother, he wont respect you. |
Re: I Advice Please by minute(f): 12:25am On Feb 10, 2010 |
He has problem and they will be yours as well if you marry him.I think you came here and you already know the answer.You always go for the first gut feeling. |
Re: I Advice Please by Nobody: 10:19am On Feb 16, 2010 |
@ poster that guy is obviously mental. Break up with him & move on with ur life. |
Re: I Advice Please by iice(f): 2:09pm On Feb 16, 2010 |
Lux sis, sorry to hear about your troubles. Hopefully you come to a resolution soon. |
Re: I Advice Please by oYaTo(m): 4:54pm On Feb 16, 2010 |
I have a quote from a poster on some random thread. . "Whatever you cannot tolerate when you're married, don't tolerate it when you're dating" Don't ever think he'll change or he'll get better. If you don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone who has anger issues, then don't date one. Cut your losses and run. |
Re: I Advice Please by Youngpo413: 5:28pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
luxoire:He will change,just hold on a bit longer...how about that player bf?I'm sure he dumped you...hahahaha and you are now settling for less,lol.You ladies don't deserve good things,husbands included. |
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