Lalas247:
Follow your head and not your heart

Look leave her for now an explain all in detail let her u derstand
A good lady will understand and support you if you are serious

Then once settled in Canada or wherever you can send for her ..that way you send for her as a spouse .. or you go back home marry her and the process is much quicker
Look this can be done within a year or two .. if both of you still feel the same way by the time you are settled then it's happy days

Never ever put your heart in someone you are NOT YET married to
Your future and security should come first

Best advice.
If you love something/someone, let tem go, if they come back to you, that's how you know they are yours.
Go and further your education and improve yourself, if she's still there when you finish your Masters ten start working towards bringing her over and marrying her

First thing, Open up to your girlfriend on what your brother is saying and have an open discussion with her.

Just get to Canada, u won't need to rely so much on your brother after your Msc, so u will be able to decide on bringing her over.

I feel your pain and feel a bit bad for your girlfriend,but a brother got to do what he got to do. Na naija cause am.

Evaberry:
....

Many men have been in this situation and many more will be.


I won't advise anyone to terminate better opportunities because of a girl.

you need to have a serious conversation with your gf, she's 30 will she be able to wait for you bearing in mind this is going to be a long distance relationship.


The chances of her succumbing to pressures to get married are going to be high, can she bear it.

Everyone here is going to advise you to leave this girl and focus on hustling but only you know how much impact she has/had in your life. only you know the pains you will go through you without her

4 Years is no child's play, can you know a girl as much as you know your gf Now, and by the time you make it so many female are gonna be attracted to you only because of wealth

mehn op I feel for you. Just roll a joint, smoke and relax

The op is just wasting his time. There is no choice to be made. His priority now should not be the girl rather to get back to life. M.Sc outside is just 1 year. He can even work and study and upon graduation, he should have made enough to come back and marry and continue with Ph.D His elder brother knows he is no longer a boy.

So the bold paragraphs is irrelevant and does not come from as a result of a critical thinking. Sorry anyway but it's too shallow that I had to quote you

All d gals re nt d same tell dat ur brother dat u hv hear him n let ur gal friend knw dat u will never 4gt her n let her promise u too n wen u gt dia face ur study n work hard to gt wot u want 4rm ur brother

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

nigga you dreaming?

there are many fishes in the river. don't put one piece of black shiit over your career! you will regret it in life.


guys like you need to be castrated because you are not using your Brain to think put rather your peniss.


WHO KNOWS WHO IS FVCKING YOUR WIFE TO BE NOW?

You must never leave your love behind because love can grow on any fertile ground

This is a simple matter which u r complicating by ur own actions. U did not have to lie to your brother in the first instance. This is how when God opens doors, people use their own hands to mess up the door, thinking they r being smart.

This is what u should do...get on ur knees and ask God for forgiveness for lying and then make a petition for ur brother's heart to soften and be receptive towards what u will explain.

After that, call ur brother and apologise for the misinformation and explain why u did it. ie u were afraid of missing the opportunity. Then tell him the truth about ur gf and extol her virtues and ur plans for her.

Then also be transparent about the situation with ur gf. is let her know what's happening.

That's all...but keep praying about it and avoid habits that are counterproductive.

My simple opinion is this, go and pursue your masters and try bring your girl too by any legal means. Sabotaging your future for love is not worth it by any standard. If you truly love each other, you both can wait to weather the storm. Love that can't withstand the test of time and distance is no love.

i dont really know what to say at this point because i dont know your level of relationship with her, it baffles me you are in a 4years relationship at your age, your family(brother) does not know about it.. many will tell you to leave her and go after money, sometimes money is not everything, its not easy and fair to just leave her and go on with your life, dont forget the trust, time, commitment.. etc, please just reconsider it, builing relationship this days is hard, you can travel, but dont leave her aside, walk down to her parents and make them know your plans about the girl, if you travel and make money, please come back for her, if you forget that girl, am not sure she will ever pray good for you..

Thier is someone for everyone, dont loose yours in the name of greener pasture

Your brother has your interest at heart and I think you should access his advice and ditch your lady for now especially because there is no concrete engagement between you and your lady.

The future is bright for you.

Which kind yeye love be dat?na love go secure your future?abeg no trust any girl because of one yeye love. Travel out and secure your future and all other things including girls would follow.


Cc:funjosh,vickyrotex,ajepako,rokiatu oloju ede and osusumustflow

Even if your brother is helping so much, you do not have to give him full access to your life. If you truly love your girl as you said, continue dating her but keep that detail from your brother. He does not need to know everything. When you are ready to marry her, i don't see any reason why he should have any objection. And if he is disappointed, he will get over it. It is your life.
If you leave her now and then after some years you are ready to settle down, how sure are you of finding a suitable spouse over there.

iamadonis2:
My advice: Make the mistake and have the regret you can live with. Probably you've got your Mum and other siblings hoping to depend on your progress abroad. Choose them first. I'm not saying this girl isn't good but she isn't yours yet and things will most def change. When it does, you will not be able to live with that regret.


Just go, Bro.

best piece ever.

It's quite complex and simple. You've done yourself good of informing her before, that pretty fine.
Pls search your heart once again If you can truly come back or invite her over
If yes talk to her and plead with her, go with someone she probably respect and known with you to assure her: in all fairness.
Proceed to travel and try m work around the agreement, am sure it won't be easy as you think but do you part.
Immediately after Master pls arrange her papers without any delay.
May God helped you.
All the best.
Note: keep in touch as much as you can. And in within the period there find the best convincing time you can share her issue with your brother. He deserves to know not to be surprised but that gonna be later later.
Cheers manh

So it's true some men are still somewhere without a brain.


My brother, lemme tell you; even if I am heading to Sambisa on a business trip or to better my career. No woman in this world can make me have a second thought over my career and business!

Love with your brain instead of dick

There isn't any problem at all here, a lot of people have been in this situation and today both the guy and girl are abroad.

1. Canada and Australia are countries that are family friendly, if u are married and is going to study in Canada and the course u're going for will last over a year, Canada allows u apply to bring ur family along.

2. I know a family friend who left for Canada to study less than 3 years ago. He came back to Nigeria last year to get married and as at this year, the lady is with him over there.

3. Canada allows u to work while u study, save as much as u can to get urself established and become independent.

You are old enough to make ur own decisions. The most important thing is for u to get to canada, if u truly love ur babe, u can get her there.

Op,

Don't let ur bro know u have a girl.

After ur MSC get a job and find a way to bring her over to you.

Don't stay back in naija o, cos the girl might leave u for a richer guy.

I'm not saying she Is a bad girl, but by the time friends and family make her see you are not capable, her mind will change.

So leave the love, hustle and if she is still available by then, do the needful.

I cannot stay back in this country because of any bf, cos I know bf willnnot stay back.

and if my bf is opportuned to travel for greener pastures, I will tell him to go and even pray for him.

what will be will be.

this is serious

try talking to him about the situation of things, explain everything to him, atleast he should care about ur emotions if he's trully ur elder brother

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

SOME PEOPLE GET OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE THIS CURSED LAND FOR FREE...De talk nonsense about love. Plus free MSC. And PhD. Omoh I fit send slap for u oo

Your major job is to convince your bros.if u love the lady so much as you claim,find a way to do a court marriage then when u get to Canada apply for a work permit for her (That way she will be working through out the duration of your studies and be with you).The spouse of a student with a study permit is eligible for work permit for the same duration of his/her spouse study permit.U don't need to wait...in 2 or 3 months...depending on processing period,she will be with you asap.your major job is how to win over your brother who happens to be your sponsor too.av seen phd,msc student bring their spouse along and even kids if they have any....but u need marry her o...without legal marriage she won't be eligible.comvince your bro,d rest is easy.

Billyonaire:


There is no option there. There is no choice to be made. You cant let down that girl. In fact you must marry her. Then you cant stop Education. But you can learn to lie from Lai Mohammed, and tell your brother you have no girl friend. After your MSc, get the girl into Canada via any means, and proceed with your life. At MSc, your brother has done enough for you already. Except you wanna remain a baby and depend on him for advices, permissions on your personal life and ofcourse some soup.

Most sensible post of the year #respect

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

OP, you acted a little bit silly. You haven't gotten a visa yet, but you already told your girlfriend about it? I pray that girl doesn't scatter your plans.

You see, change is always a constant thing. A woman that loves you today, may not love you tomorrow. Most women are artificial in nature. They only care about their comfort and what you bring on the table. That is why some of them still make wrong choices in terms of marriage even when they know the kind of man they want to get married to and still go ahead to complain thereafter.

Your brother seems to have seen it all in life. He gave you a very advice. Though not all women are the same but most would leave you in difficult times.

Young man - what exactly is stopping you from marrying this girl right now? Please don't tell me money it becos of money; as you have already said you girl isn't the materialistic type; wait until your Visa is out; take your parents and go and meet her parents; after that go to the registry and marry (You guys can throw party and make noise later) that if you are truly serious about her; your brother will adjust and understand? He is only concerned that having someone back home could put you under pressure to start making money due to monetary demands from back home instead of you focusing on your education - also this removes the option of you meeting someone in Canada that you could marry.

Since you love each other and are both ready for marriage, there's nothing wrong with marrying her in Nigeria before you live and when you get there for your MSc find the means for her to join you. If you're not ready for marriage then go do your MSc first and if both of you still love each other when you finish, go back for her, marry her and let her join you there.

Sleyanya1:

Your brother made a huge point and i must say, he wants absolutely the best for you. Wow such a caring elder brother.

You stated for a fact that your girlfriend ( wife to be if all had been smooth for you) is free from all the negative features of a 'Nigerian' girl your brother was
talking about. I want to believe that this is accurate.


However think of these factors in line with whatever love you both feel for eachother. Time, Distance and Attention.

The question will be , How many 'True love' situations survives when those three factors are not favoured?


In the long run your relationship (if you go ahead) will be strained so bad and filled with doubts for eachother. Is this something you can be handling while pursuing an M.Sc and possibly Ph.D ??


Is it something she can handle ? (in the long run).

Think along these points, discuss with her.

Finally I think what you both should endeavour to preserve is your friendship. Remember she's already 30, no need pretending she'd be 35 when You're done.


Dissolve the relationship , choose friendship over it and move on.


This is just my own opinion tho.
You'll have the final decision.
Best wishes

Op be grateful for this advice and follow it!

What if this your brother don read this your message so for nairaland. ;DWhat if this your brother don read this your message so for nairaland.

The truth is harsh but I would advice you to go for the MSC program and if letting go of your wife to be is the sacrifice to be paid, so be it. If you jeopardise your chance to secure this golden opportunity and settle in Nigeria because of her, what if a rich suitor seek her hand in marriage after you fail to secure a job? You would end up losing your dream and would become a frustrated human being.

Wait sef OP, are u sure village people are not playing with your destiny so? Is this suppose to be a dilemma for you, abi nkan se Eleyi ke?

Book the next available flight to Canada for your MSC program abeg

goingape1:
nigga you dreaming?

there are many fishes in the river. don't put one piece of black shiit over your career! you will regret it in life.


guys like you need to be castrated because you are not using your Brain to think put rather your peniss.


WHO KNOWS WHO IS FVCKING YOUR WIFE TO BE NOW?

but why u come dey vex like this na

if both of u really love each other, the marriage can wait. just focus on getting ur Msc and ur life back on track for now

My brother I must confess you are really very confuse now. your confusion has nothing to do with you succeeding in life. Because u still have someone that helps you thats why you are talking about confusion. pls save your life and future of your unborn kids. They deserve a better life and nt a love story. infact leave that girl now and better girls will come. #nogirlworthyourfuture#

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

if she truly loves you, she will want you to succeed and that you traveling for greener pasture.my brother, there is nothing like this type of love o, cos when you can't finance her anymore and she see no means of survival, she will go.your life first
Your welfare first
Your survival first
Then take your brother too into consideration, he meant well for you.
You can keep the love going by communicating almost everyday, this way, the spark will be there.
I was not with my girlfriend for 11 months and we eventually got married later because communication was key

OlowuB:
Young man - what exactly is stopping you from marrying this girl right now? Please don't tell me money it becos of money; as you have already said you girl isn't the materialistic type; wait until your Visa is out; take your parents and go and meet her parents; after that go to the registry and marry (You guys can throw party and make noise later) that if you are truly serious about her; your brother will adjust and understand? He is only concerned that having someone back home could put you under pressure to start making money due to monetary demands from back home instead of you focusing on your education - also this removes the option of you meeting someone in Canada that you could marry.

Whether he likes it or not, there would be distraction. Do you think it's easy to cope especially for a new couple who are million miles apart? It's up to them if they especially the guy can cope though

Bros think am well oo

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