Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

jonced:
This is a simple matter which u r complicating by ur own actions. U did not have to lie to your brother in the first instance. This is how when God opens doors, people use their own hands to mess up the door, thinking they r being smart.

This is what u should do...get on ur knees and ask God for forgiveness for lying and then make a petition for ur brother's heart to soften and be receptive towards what u will explain.

After that, call ur brother and apologise for the misinformation and explain why u did it. ie u were afraid of missing the opportunity. Then tell him the truth about ur gf and extol her virtues and ur plans for her.

Then also be transparent about the situation with ur gf. is let her know what's happening.

That's all...but keep praying about it and avoid habits that are counterproductive.

VeeGodwin:
you are just an ingrate after she supported you when you lost your job, now you are thinking about it and considering your mental brother's opinion. marry your brother. nonsense fellow.

lomprico:
I have been in love before so I know how you feel.

But your brother may have a point. My very close cousin was in ur shoes one time, due to inability to find job his elder sis try sending him to Ukraine for MSc, he had a girl he has been dating for 8 yrs, when he told her of the travel plans she cried n cried that he was going to leave her after all they have been through, told tried convincing her that he wont do such, he even called her mum and told her he was ready to bring drinks to her family indicating he wants to marry her. She still did not believe him, this my guy sabotaged his visa runs so that he wont travel again cos he did not know how to tell his sis he's no more going (because of his girl). He confided in me on this, I almost broke bottle on his head. To cut the long story short he is still searching for a decent job as I type this and guess what his girl has left him last year because, in her words "I need a better provider" .
My cousin almost took his life when this happened.

So, Op am not saying all ladies are the same but use your head and not ur heart in this situation. When u make the money women in all shapes n sizes, the very good ones and very bad ones will flock around you but if u are broke.. well.

Evaberry:
....

Many men have been in this situation and many more will be.


I won't advise anyone to terminate better opportunities because of a girl.

you need to have a serious conversation with your gf, she's 30 will she be able to wait for you bearing in mind this is going to be a long distance relationship.


The chances of her succumbing to pressures to get married are going to be high, can she bear it.

Everyone here is going to advise you to leave this girl and focus on hustling but only you know how much impact she has/had in your life. only you know the pains you will go through you without her

4 Years is no child's play, can you know a girl as much as you know your gf Now, and by the time you make it so many female are gonna be attracted to you only because of wealth

mehn op I feel for you. Just roll a joint, smoke and relax

Sleyanya1:

Your brother made a huge point and i must say, he wants absolutely the best for you. Wow such a caring elder brother.

You stated for a fact that your girlfriend ( wife to be if all had been smooth for you) is free from all the negative features of a 'Nigerian' girl your brother was
talking about. I want to believe that this is accurate.


However think of these factors in line with whatever love you both feel for eachother. Time, Distance and Attention.

The question will be , How many 'True love' situations survives when those three factors are not favoured?


In the long run your relationship (if you go ahead) will be strained so bad and filled with doubts for eachother. Is this something you can be handling while pursuing an M.Sc and possibly Ph.D ??


Is it something she can handle ? (in the long run).

Think along these points, discuss with her.

Finally I think what you both should endeavour to preserve is your friendship. Remember she's already 30, no need pretending she'd be 35 when You're done.


Dissolve the relationship , choose friendship over it and move on.


This is just my own opinion tho.
You'll have the final decision.
Best wishes

cantok:
You must never leave your love behind because love can grow on any fertile ground

ImaIma1:
Even if your brother is helping so much, you do not have to give him full access to your life. If you truly love your girl as you said, continue dating her but keep that detail from your brother. He does not need to know everything. When you are ready to marry her, i don't see any reason why he should have any objection. And if he is disappointed, he will get over it. It is your life.
If you leave her now and then after some years you are ready to settle down, how sure are you of finding a suitable spouse over there.

Addicted2Women:

I would disown you if you were my son

He told you the truth, if you disobey him, you would lose your relationship with your brother, your sponsor, your traveling abroad for a greener pasture and sadly that girl that brought those calamities to you, i warned you.

That same girl would divorce and abandon you if you go broke to a point where you can't pay your rent

What do you plan to marry her with ?? Take care of her and your kids with ?? Sand ??

There are millions of good girls that are 300% better than your girlfriend you would choose from after making money

Being broke is the worst thing that would happen to you

I use to feed my younger brother, bought cars and houses for him, he Abandoned and insulted me when i went broke, my own blood brother i did everything for,
thank God i was able to bounce back and now even richer than him

Good luck with dying for love

wristbangle:
The truth is harsh but I would advice you to go for the MSC program and if letting go of your wife to be is the sacrifice to be paid, so be it. If you jeopardise your chance to secure this golden opportunity and settle in Nigeria because of her, what if a rich suitor seek her hand in marriage? You would end up losing your dream and would become a frustrated human being.

Wait sef OP, are u sure village people are not playing with your destiny so? Is this suppose to be a dilemma for you, abi nkan se Eleyi ke?

Book the next available flight to Canada for your MSC program abeg



but why u come dey vex like this na

lomprico:
I have been in love before so I know how you feel.

But your brother may have a point. My very close cousin was in ur shoes one time, due to inability to find job his elder sis try sending him to Ukraine for MSc, he had a girl he has been dating for 8 yrs, when he told her of the travel plans she cried n cried that he was going to leave her after all they have been through, told tried convincing her that he wont do such, he even called her mum and told her he was ready to bring drinks to her family indicating he wants to marry her. She still did not believe him, this my guy sabotaged his visa runs so that he wont travel again cos he did not know how to tell his sis he's no more going (because of his girl). He confided in me on this, I almost broke bottle on his head. To cut the long story short he is still searching for a decent job as I type this and guess what his girl has left him last year because, in her words "I need a better provider" .
My cousin almost took his life when this happened.

So, Op am not saying all ladies are the same but use your head and not ur heart in this situation. When u make the money women in all shapes n sizes, the very good ones and very bad ones will flock around you but if u are broke.. well.

pcguru1:


If it doesn't work out with her here how is he sure of finding a suitable partner especially with no job in Nigeria. This is the real world no room for sentiments

slinkman:
if only we could hang out , I'd buy you a beer for this

ImaIma1:


I mean he should go to Canada and study and still keep his girlfriend.

ImaIma1:
Even if your brother is helping so much, you do not have to give him full access to your life. If you truly love your girl as you said, continue dating her but keep that detail from your brother. He does not need to know everything. When you are ready to marry her, i don't see any reason why he should have any objection. And if he is disappointed, he will get over it. It is your life.
If you leave her now and then after some years you are ready to settle down, how sure are you of finding a suitable spouse over there.

UncutSk:
Op you get sense at all? Someone wants to take you this shit hole and you're thinking about it

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

Drinkwater07:
In a dilemma right now, please those experienced in these kind of issues should help me.

I lost my Job at the Nigerian Breweries Last year, While I was working I made up my mind to marry my girlfriend of about 4 years now, this December. Both of us are 30 already, we are so much in love, but my job lost really hampered our marriage plans, because she is just engaged in the Npower scheme now and my cash that I saved have long almost finished right now. The reason I did not go into business with the little money I have at that time about 400k was that My elder brother in Canada promised to send me to Canada to join there. So far he have helped me secure admission for MSc. and payed my full tuition fee and even credited my account for the maintenance which the visa officers will see in my account. He also has the plans of sponsoring me through PHD also in Canada or the UK if I want. Now as I await my Visa, there is a really big issue I am fighting right now to manage.

My brother warned me to forget about any girl I have here in Nigeria, that most of them are fair weather friends, gold diggers and desperados, and that if I have anybody here in Nigeria waiting for me while I am away, that it will be a huge distraction for me. He told me he is speaking out of experience and won't want anybody to distract me while studying and hustling abroad. My girl is definitely none of what he described, she is a very good person and is never after money, She just love so much. I told him that I don't have anybody, This is to avoid him withdrawing his financial support for me or may be doubting my seriousness to succeed.

I was planning to come back and get married to my baby after my MSc, but I don't know how my brother will see it. He will be so disappointed with me, I hold my brother in so much high regard, and right from when I was a child he usually protects me so well and doesn't want anything to hamper my success, I love my girl so much, she is everything you will want in any woman. If I don't marry her I don't think I will be happy with anyone else. None of them is aware of what is bothering. How will I solve this issue.

ImaIma1:
Even if your brother is helping so much, you do not have to give him full access to your life. If you truly love your girl as you said, continue dating her but keep that detail from your brother. He does not need to know everything. When you are ready to marry her, i don't see any reason why he should have any objection. And if he is disappointed, he will get over it. It is your life.
If you leave her now and then after some years you are ready to settle down, how sure are you of finding a suitable spouse over there.