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My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage - Family (4) - Nairaland

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My Wife Hates Sex And Prefers I Masturbate / Sex After Child Birth / Why Do Women Lose Interest In Sex After Marriage? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by kenny5811(m): 2:22pm On Sep 25, 2017
MhizzAJ:
Please don't listen to those people saying u should get a side chic

There's something u r not doing ryte in d other room
in za oza rum..... masterin d use of d tool...weda na plantain or casava or cucumber or pencil or yam mayb banana... za oza room is a sensitive n demandin room u gat to b on point 90% of d time else disaster go fall on u..
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:22pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


Hmmm, I'm open to her in all way, no phone lock, she has access to all my chats, I do take her out with kids and have fun hoping the night will be rossy but getting on bed is another story, she doesn't feel anything if you caress her. I do send love messages to her when in office, I do buy cloths and love her famiky , intact only God can witness all I'm saying.

Some women become this way after marriage....Have you tried speaking with her mum ?
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by wandevincent(m): 2:22pm On Sep 25, 2017
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Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:23pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


Please where can I get this, I need it badly.

Is it right to use an aphrodisiac on your wife without her consent ?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by monex(m): 2:23pm On Sep 25, 2017
kimbraa:
How often do you demand for sex. Hope you're not a sex freak 'cause such people are a turn off and very difficult to satisfy sexually. If your wife has a low libido, read up things on how to get her in the mood.

there are women who hate sex. I was told about someone whose wife only agrees to sex once a year. typically for child birth. The hubby was almost running mad. He unfortunately started having sex outside

it is both physical (hyposexual) and psychological (hidden fears, trauma etc.).

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by amicableamos: 2:24pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


Hmmm, I'm open to her in all way, no phone lock, she has access to all my chats, I do take her out with kids and have fun hoping the night will be rossy but getting on bed is another story, she doesn't feel anything if you caress her. I do send love messages to her when in office, I do buy cloths and love her famiky , intact only God can witness all I'm saying.
oga, I feel u n I have d understanding of what u r passing through. if u like take her to d most expensive hotel in Dubai, buy her Ferrari even ordinary kissing u may not get in return. excuses everyday, today body pain, tomorrow headache, next tomorrow cold or malaria. she would get u frustrated sometimes. she is not doing it intentionally, l think she needs a medical assistance. it is hormonal imbalance. pls, don't b offended with contribution o.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:25pm On Sep 25, 2017
Does she maturbate? This act has killed a lot of sexual drive in marriages

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by OjujuCalabar(m): 2:26pm On Sep 25, 2017
You mean she preferred sex before marriage?
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:26pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


You are getting me now, though she's not working but she never lack anything, I credit her account each month with a reasonable amount, even playing recharge cards game with her on WhatsApp, like removing a number and ask her funny question... Just to make things romantic. I guess this is a weapon of devil. I won't commit adulatory

I think I know the source of the problem. I will learn from this your experience I swear it
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by dasparrow: 2:27pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:


You are getting me now, though she's not working but she never lack anything, I credit her account each month with a reasonable amount, even playing recharge cards game with her on WhatsApp, like removing a number and ask her funny question... Just to make things romantic. I guess this is a weapon of devil. I won't commit adulatory

It is well with you my brother. Honestly, I don't know what to say. Did your wife experience sex abuse when she was a child? People who were sexually abused as children naturally don't like sex. In western countries, they stay single and the society does not bother them. In Nigeria however, it is a different story. The Nigerian society treats single people of marriageable age with scorn and resent and places abnormal and undue pressure on them to get married. As a result, even people who hate sex or don't like sex that much force themselves to get married in Nigeria and they end up miserable because sex and marriage go together. You can't separate one from the other. Maybe, you should take your wife to a sex therapist. I don't know if there is one in Nigeria. Maybe your wife feels pain during sex or maybe she has a very low sex drive. We can only speculate. Only your wife knows what is really going on with her. Hope you find a solution to your problem. Good luck.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:27pm On Sep 25, 2017
guy,its possible you are not satisfying her. Next time you have the chance to have sex with her,make sure you do it to the extreme. Do it roughly and i bet you your story will change.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:28pm On Sep 25, 2017
deltateam:


Tosyn2much baba wadup? I was like was it you?
But seriously some women think that sex is only for procreation so once they have given you some kids they lock their legs.

I agree, some women feel sex is only for procreation and locks shop after kids...
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by AHCB: 2:28pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:
My wife is a good and I can call her a virtuous woman but she won't give me sex when needed, though we have male and female kids ...please what can I do again? Tried all I have read online and even attends seminals together just to make her change but she did not. Please I'm not saying this to paint her black but that is only one aspect I wish she could change.

Advise please !!!
Did you just discover she doesn't like sex? or you guys didn't have sex when you were dating?
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Olabestonic001(m): 2:31pm On Sep 25, 2017
lapariah:


we are in the same shoe my brother, if u investigate, you will find out that she was circumcised (FGM), this should stop in our society as this is always the result. It as lead to broken marriages and all that. At this point you need to carry your cross, do what seems right to you.


That's not really true.
I know men with a fully build clitful wives who are having same issues and men whose wives are clitless having a healthy sexual life. Truth is; her psychology is heavily not in tune and her husband needs to help her.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Divay22(f): 2:34pm On Sep 25, 2017
Antecote:



Op this is the best advice, follow it. My sister was like this, after giving birth she hated sex so much and didn't know why, turns out it was because she was scared of getting pregnant as the labour pains were much for her and she got a lot of tears during labor so she was traumatised and hated the idea of anything sex. It took time and therapy but she was able to get over it.

Divay22 and rukkydelta why are you guys harrasing the poor girl for the advice she gave.

Cc: victovrry
Stop yapping about alright....
She said OP should rape is wife, now tell me why any sane human being, a lady for that matter will say such a thing....
You just don't jump into issues, she has modified her comment...
Rukkydelta just shared a screenshot of her first comment..

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:35pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:
My wife is a good and I can call her a virtuous woman but she won't give me sex when needed, though we have male and female kids ...please what can I do again? Tried all I have read online and even attends seminals together just to make her change but she did not. Please I'm not saying this to paint her black but that is only one aspect I wish she could change.

Advise please !!!


I believe there are some psychological reasons your wife may not want to have sex, and you can implement some strategies.


1. I believe the kids keep her engaged, taking care of them, so i advice, you send them on holidays after school sessions. When she's not around them, there's a vaccum, and personal time for both of you.


2. I'm a pastor, but for some time, reduce going to church, and don't ask her for sex, behave strange, and continue with the act....It will stimulate her to turn towards you to pay attention to your needs. I'm also a Christian, so i don't mean it in a bad way, she sees you as a good guy and have become too relaxed to give it...Men, you're in pain, i'm sorry for where you are.


3. If she refuses, send her back to her parents, throw away the load with red eyes. If people ask, tell them you're protecting her from you, and she's pushing you to commit adultery. She's totally relaxed because she knows you got her back. Stop being her brother and become her husband again.



4. Try to sleep in separate rooms for some time, and see if the absence will induce some attention. To stimulate sex-life, many couples try separate rooms and even avoid seeing one another stack naked outside intimacy period...I think she has become accustomed to your naked body and it doesn't make a difference when you're clothed

5. Get a house attendant to relieve your wife from stressful activities...Get her a maid, so she can have time to rest...

6. If your wife engages in tedious activities like fetching water, it can cause a decline in interest in intimacy, if such a problem exist, fix it. The reverse is when she relaxes too much, sits down and watch Nollywood, morning till night... Throw away your inverter, do not power the generator...When there's nothing to do, she''ll turn more attention to you..Make sure you implement drastic changes...


7. She could be experiencing an hormonal imbalance...But, have you tried professional medical care/checkup?

Poco, where are you oh...Please screen this comment abeg

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by AkupeMBANO(f): 2:37pm On Sep 25, 2017
Adaumunocha:
Supermarkets, pharmacies.
stop bothering your self, it's either OP married a weirdo, or he dosnt brush and finally maybe his wife has no clit.

I have a feeling OP hasn't done his background checks well.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by horllamy(m): 2:37pm On Sep 25, 2017
I think she's kind of lady that don't too like sex like that but she said already born 2 for u.... just talk to her about it one on one maybe she can change.....my babe also this d same.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:39pm On Sep 25, 2017
horllamy:
I think she's kind of lady that don't too like sex like that but she said already born 2 for u.... just talk to her about it one on one maybe she can change.....my babe also this d same.

How do you cope? This is a very painful experience to go through
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Antecote(f): 2:45pm On Sep 25, 2017
Divay22:

Stop yapping about alright....
She said OP should rape is wife, now tell me why any sane human being, a lady for that matter will say such a thing....
You just don't jump into issues, she has modified her comment...
Rukkydelta just shared a screenshot of her first comment..


What's wrong with you? Are you alright? Do you reply mentions with insults and rude comments? I simply asked a question as to why someone was being harassed even tho she gave a nice comment. I never knew her post was already modified and instead of you to reply without being rude, you just started attacking, Rukky replied me and wasn't rude and explained but u just went off

I shouldn't jump into issues but you jumped into the issue with Rukky, Rukky was talking to someone else about the girl post but you jumped into her own issues that she didn't call u. Please learn to be courteous and how to respond to questions.

Cheers
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Antecote(f): 2:46pm On Sep 25, 2017
Rukkydelta:

Lol
She have modified her comment
Look at what she said before

Alright I never knew. That was wrong of her then. Sorry for the mention

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by nellyelitz(m): 2:49pm On Sep 25, 2017
TINALETC3:
Some women dnt naturally like sex, she may b in dat crew. Bt al hope is nt lost, u no Wat she likes na, go extra mile to spoil her wt tins she likes, offer 2 gv her a bath sometimes, during d bath caress her body until u get her down even in d bath. Always go extra mile 2 get her in d mood.
you mean make him bath her any time konji hold am even na for mid night... Hmmm

Aunty you nor try o

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by pek(m): 2:50pm On Sep 25, 2017
victovrry:
My wife is a good and I can call her a virtuous woman but she won't give me sex when needed, though we have male and female kids ...please what can I do again? Tried all I have read online and even attends seminals together just to make her change but she did not. Please I'm not saying this to paint her black but that is only one aspect I wish she could change.

Advise please !!!
Seminals? I guess you are Yoruba.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by katyamizotta: 2:51pm On Sep 25, 2017
1. Buy the Spanish fly

2. Sit Madam down and ask if there is any issue and promise to apologise if there is.
If there is an issue apologise and proceed to the other room

3. If there is no issueTell your wife you have bought spanish fly. tell her what it is and tell her that you will join in drinking it to experience the effect.
If she doesn't mind proceed to the other room.

4. If she refuses, offer a herbal alternative Kayan mata.
If she refuses, ask her if she has a contraceptive implant ( cos that could destroy libido)
If she says no then you need to ask her point blank if she is still attracted to you.

If she still wants you and its stress or hormones that's the issue, i think she will be willing to try an aphrodisiac.

its difficult to see a marriage where both partners have matching libidos but that's where sacrifice comes in. Having sex is not always convenient but once a month is kinda opening the other partner to temptation

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:52pm On Sep 25, 2017
I believe there are some psychological reasons your wife may not want to have sex, and you can implement some strategies.


1. I believe the kids keep her engaged, taking care of them, so i advice, you send them on holidays after school sessions. When she's not around them, there's a vaccum, and personal time for both of you.


2. I'm a pastor, but for some time, reduce going to church, and don't ask her for sex, behave strange, and continue with the act....It will stimulate her to turn towards you to pay attention to your needs. I'm also a Christian, so i don't mean it in a bad way, she sees you as a good guy and have become too relaxed to give it...Men, you're in pain, i'm sorry for where you are.


3. If she refuses, send her back to her parents, throw away the load with red eyes. If people ask, tell them you're protecting her from you, and she's pushing you to commit adultery. She's totally relaxed because she knows you got her back. Stop being her brother and become her husband again.



4. Try to sleep in separate rooms for some time, and see if the absence will induce some attention. To stimulate sex-life, many couples try separate rooms and even avoid seeing one another stack Unclad outside intimacy period...I think she has become accustomed to your Unclad body and it doesn't make a difference when you're clothed

5. Get a house attendant to relieve your wife from stressful activities...Get her a maid, so she can have time to rest...

6. If your wife engages in tedious activities like fetching water, it can cause a decline in interest in intimacy, if such a problem exist, fix it. The reverse is when she relaxes too much, sits down and watch Nollywood, morning till night... Throw away your inverter, do not power the generator...When there's nothing to do, she''ll turn more attention to you..Make sure you implement drastic changes...


Poco, where are you oh...Please screen this comment abeg

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by dingbang(m): 2:52pm On Sep 25, 2017
Once in a month... Is she a witch?

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Divay22(f): 2:53pm On Sep 25, 2017
Antecote:



What's wrong with you? Are you alright? Do you reply mentions with insults and rude comments? I simply asked a question as to why someone was being harassed even tho she gave a nice comment. I never knew her post was already modified and instead of you to reply without being rude, you just started attacking, Rukky replied me and wasn't rude and explained but u just went off

I shouldn't jump into issues but you jumped into the issue with Rukky, Rukky was talking to someone else about the girl post but you jumped into her own issues that she didn't call u. Please learn to be courteous and how to respond to questions.

Cheers
Tell me the insult i made now...
I was only suprise you mentioned me that i was harassing her...
The only thing i said was, she's not a girl as she's posing to be.....

Peace.
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by womanofsteel: 2:54pm On Sep 25, 2017
Take advice on nairaland at your own risk. Majority commenting and advising you are secondary school leavers while others are not married. When you get std or when your marriage crash, they won't be there.
As a married man having a side chic will crush and drain you emotionally and financially that you'll be accusing your village people for your predicament.
You better go and manage your home MR LIBIDO just because of sex you want to put your destiny in trouble.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by click2stan(m): 2:56pm On Sep 25, 2017
Get her a Spanish golden fly grin
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:56pm On Sep 25, 2017
womanofsteel:
Take advice on nairaland at your own risk. Majority commenting and advising you are secondary school leavers while others are not married. When you get std or when your marriage crash, they won't be there.
As a married man having a side chic will crush and drain you emotionally and financially that you'll be accusing your village people for your predicament.
You better go and manage your home MR LIBIDO just because of sex you want to put your destiny in trouble.


grin grin grin True...I clap
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Nobody: 2:58pm On Sep 25, 2017
alphaconde:
theres always a bad side of every good thing, deal with urs, my own wife bleeps alot but very lazy upstairs, i am dealing with it

Ur signature is really deep. It's like a paraphrase of proverbs 6
Re: My Wife Is A Good Woman But Hates Sex After Marriage by Magnifico2000: 2:59pm On Sep 25, 2017
TINALETC3:
Am nt a fan of porn bt since d case is already a serious one, see if u cn introduce it and see her reaction, if it doesn't work, den take her to sumone she respects so much dat cn talk to her, let d person Tel her d dangers of loosing her husband to side chicks(jst 2 put fear in her). Atleast, even she doesn't wnt, she cn stl do it 4 ur sake na
I have dated a girl b4. She too doesnt like sex like that. There was a time i even threatened her that i would be tempted to be getting from another girl if she doesnt like sex. She told me im free to get sex anywhere and it wont even stop her from loving me. I just weak when she talk like that. So i understand that there are some people that dont like sex too much.

2 Likes

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