Letzdothething:
from saying the truth?

Have you seen where a whole family love a poor man? Please answer me honestly.

In life, your interest comes first, family second then others, economy is bad so no time to date broker girl from a poverty stricken family.

Even in churches they preach about riches how much more Lolz.

Get real

that's a good idea u just made there,
the guys that are claiming big guys on this thread just to use the guy shine....
but Oga op,it takes a courage for someone to say no.....there is no need of displeasing urselve to please someone else....from ur write up u have a good relationship with the girl nd between u two even the mother is a third party.....If u feel u want to help the family,talk with the girl and know her mind set nd do it through the girl not the mom,nd don't expect a payback......

UjuJoan2:
I hate stingy men with a passion, God Forbid!

Shame no even catch you to say no? I just feel so sorry for the girl and her family.

If they were wiser they would flee now that it's still very early.

Tuaaaah!

Very stingy man. I pity the lady in question.

A girl has never ask u for #1 for the past 5 years, bro think deeply..that kind of girl is very scarce in this nigeria.....don't let her go

U can't keep a relationship without sacrifices, giving is one of the sacrifices that keeps the relationship going dating a lady for five years without giving is not good enough it shows the kind of husband u'll be in future you if I were her mother I will stand against the marriage with my last breath, is it not better for her to remain single than to spend the rest of her life with an ingrate and unfruitful man like you? If you can't pay it all, you suppose to give her the little things you can afford but you want to quit the relationship because she they needed help oh boy what are you waiting for, quit and let's see how far you can go with another lady without spending a dime for years. May God protect my sisters from broke and confused guy like you

sekem:


Of course!

There's always a first time!

And then a second time!

And then it becomes a tradition.

People are always exploitative

Always have that in mind as you try to render your help

Once you show them that you have the father Christmas gene in you, your own don finish

As for me I am always ready to help people but I always have a way of letting you know that it wasn't so easy rendering the help

That way they will always appreciate whatever thing you do for them rather than bombarding you with that their despicable sense of entitlement

If I were the op, I will wait for a week or two, then I will contact the woman letting her know that I now have the money and asking her if she still needs it...

So my friend, everything is common sense

Don't ever play the fool... unless there's something for you to gain in the end!

u sound like an old man.....
that's why men die early
anybody that wants to live longer should learn how to say no....

Maychang:
May God save us from Stingy boyfriends

heaven save us from longer throat shameless mother in law and dia mumu pikin

abike12:


since you care so much abeg help me find the woman make I give am. very important. i'm looking for where to sow this month

that will be very good but that doesn’t make what she did right

chronique:


Amongst my friends, I don't think I have up to 5 people I can confidently call for assistance financially. Amongst my family, I have just my mum and my sisters to run to for financial assistance. There are other members of family who are even more financially buoyant but I can't ask them. My point is,not everyone can confidently open their mouth to ask people for assistance. Don't just conclude that she has friends and family to run to.

she cannot open mouth to ask her friends or family members for assistance but she can open mouth to ask someone who is even yet to pay her daughter’s bride price..nna check well na it doesn’t make sense. She not only insulted her daughter but the whole family

sekem:


You're funny

Anyway sha sekem away joor

Nothing do you

But please don't ever allow any of these stupid and dumb women to cunningly sekem into your pockets

If you want to help a girl, help her but please always find a way to let her know it ain't your duty to help her

That is the safest and surest way to cure them of that horrible sense of entitlement most of them possess

I get where you are coming from but I don't think helping my would be mother In-law out of place.

Not casual gf but a Gurl you're already looking at marrying

Hmn! Five good years she didn't ask. Just once, and its not even a dash, just to lend her haba! Not enough to leave her ogbeni.

gcof:
that will be very good but that doesn’t make what she did right

Seriously I understand your point that it wasn't ideal or proper but people are really suffering in naija. What if she had exhausted all other options

deanxy:
babe calm down. I no stingy like that oooo. That she never asked, does not mean I don't do anything. I send this girl money like every month, unless when I don't have. I just feel the mother shouldn't be the one asking.

Nigga, stop reading meaning into everything. If you are in a position to assist her, please do and stop lecturing us on the hierarchy of request(Whether it be the girl asking or her mum). I think the woman already took you as her son, hence the courage to approach you.

Like someone earlier said, do it for the sake of being nice but when it becomes a trend, you voice out. Na Buhari fault though!

Motherfvcking stingy cry baby.

Pls end the marriage plans so someone who can help her family can find her.

I bet the amt she asked for isn't even up to N50k. Smh.

deanxy:
tnx man

You are a stingy mo********r. either that or you are ignorant of the fact that a marriage is a union between two families. And not just two people. I believe you should not marry and stay single.

The majority here advised you well and you continue to stick to your own account. In that case why even bother posting this thread if you are too arrogant to take good adivse?

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

Nawa ooo

You were very rude as a prospective son in law to the poor woman. You shld have made sure you sent something to her no matter how small this is her first time of asking. This is someone you have been fucking her daughter for 5yrs nw Free of charge.

This will be heart breaking and a shocker to their entire poor family mind u they might have ran out of options with you as the only one B4 asking and you embarrassed them. Tufiakwa

nike4love:


that's a good idea u just made there,
the guys that are claiming big guys on this thread just to use the guy shine....
but Oga op,it takes a courage for someone to say no.....there is no need of displeasing urselve to please someone else....from ur write up u have a good relationship with the girl nd between u two even the mother is a third party.....If u feel u want to help the family,talk with the girl and know her mind set nd do it through the girl not the mom,nd don't expect a payback......

It's someone like you that'll visit and won't deem it fit to buy something along. For Pete's sake, even if it's not ur mother in law you should help. And it's someone like you that girls turn to ATM just like how the snake turns Benue Jamb office to ATM

Just as someone said, "Let her go, you don't love her!".
If you really love her, you won't think of fallen off the relationship because of that.
If the girl has never asked you for anything in five years means she knew your financial status and not willing to embarrass you by asking.
She 'might' really need the money, perhaps her mum has been telling her to ask from you but he refused, not telling her how you are because she's really so understanding.
If this is the case, she'll get annoyed with her mum if she find out she went ahead to ask you without her consent.
Her mum asked you, seeing your stand with her daughter, considering your seriousness with her.
So don't try calling off the relationship because of that.

Letzdothething:
from saying the truth?

Have you seen where a whole family love a poor man? Please answer me honestly.

In life, your interest comes first, family second then others, economy is bad so no time to date broker girl from a poverty stricken family.

Even in churches they preach about riches how much more Lolz.

Get real

You're getting it all wrong. They have been dating for 5 good years and he attested she has never demanded for anything. I bet you if they are the materialistic type, they wont wait for 5years to make a first demand. I doubt if the guy loves the girl or he is suffering from some overbloated importance feeling because I can't fathom how someone can be so callous. I'm in school and not working yet but I can't imagine having a gf in financial mess like this and be waiting till she asks. ...even if it is just 20k, I will help her with it.

The guy should break up with her because she obviously deserves someone better.

How much did she ask for?

abike12:


Seriously I understand your point that it wasn't ideal or proper but people are really suffering in naija. What if she had exhausted all other options

then she should have asked through her daughter. One action can actually change how people think about us and it will go a long way in affecting our relationship with them

Except you can't afford the money, you didn't need to create this thread. You should know that marrying a lady means marrying her family as well, and other responsibilities attached, for you to have been asked, it shows your lack of concern for their welfare.

op eh. ur mata taya person

deewhydoski:
A girl has never ask u for #1 for the past 5 years, bro think deeply..that kind of girl is very scarce in this nigeria.....don't let her go

he wrote he sends her money monthly, maybe thats why she doesnt ask, she might also feel it will be selfish on her part if she demands for more expecially now she really needs to sort her accomodation ish. the question should be how much does he send her monthly and how much is the mum asking for?lets remember its a loan she asked for not a gift.

Løl,u r nt even ready to get married...cos u were asked for a laon in other to pay ur fiancé's sch fee,and also dat of her broda,u don d get second tots abt marrying her,..if u heard anoda man payed ur fiancé's sch fee while u were dating her,u go begin vex for her,and probably call her a harlot,and conclude she collected d money in exchange for her body....
wen u marry a gal,u marry her entire family...i cud remember wen I was still very little,my mom's youngest broda and last born used dia family house as a collateral to secure a loan from d bank,and wen he couldn't pay back,d bank came for d house,d family had to pull resources to pay off,my dad brought almost 45% of d money...
there is an adage in Igbo dat says " ôgo bu chi onye".. its means " one's in-law can also be dia god".

Now it’s very clear Nigerian men are the problem and not the women actually. Like seriously you guys keep talking about sex in a very annoying manner.

Can you guys explain what you all mean by he has been f$$king her for 5years. You all need federal restructuring in your brains.

I need to stop wondering why Nigeria is so under developed with the kind of mind set on this forum.

When a girl friend zone a guy it means she is not sexually attracted to him...note the word SEXUALLY.

When a girl decides to date a guy it means she is SEXUALLY attracted to him and believe her sexual needs would be met adequately in that relationship.

To help you guys re-set your brains very well, girls on this forum have many times written that they can’t wait to get married so as to safely enjoy constant sex with just one partner. Women have sexual needs just like men and you guys sound like some aliens with all your comments on sex.

OP there are times in life you need to make your intentions clear and express yourself in clear terms with no fear. My own blood sister did something to me that shocked me to my bone marrow and I told her on the phone that I am putting her allowance on hold for 6 months because her lackadaisical approach to what I wanted her to do for me cost me a whooping lost of 4.3m Naira, just so you know we are in the 3rd month and she needs to feel the pain also. Are you following

Define your relationship at a very early stage with people, let the girls you date understand from the get go that you can support with the little you can and all her financial needs should be directed to her parents. Are you going to miss out on some girls with this approach...ehhhnn sort of, will your life be terrible without them, I don’t think so.

If you pay attention to your own personal development, grooming and career, trust me your SMV will be so high and all you will be doing is dating up the food chain.

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

Man!!!!! with a lady you've spent 5 years with she's very nice o you can't date me for a whole year and not give me a dime I won't ask you buy shame no go let you rest except you're a naturally stingy person guy you should be happy to render such help it should look like an opportunity to buy the heart of her mother don't you think that can hasten your marriage plans? But as it stands now the woman knows you can afford to give her that was why she asked it could even be a test on you now you've used your selfish brain to push what would have been yours away because trust me you've lost your respect I'm that family you don't know your money can buy you real respect not shakushaku one o

Lexusgs430:


The mother is not asking everyday or every month..... If she is unlucky to marry him, he might start requesting they only eat 0-1-0, because his families food bill is costing too much money.....

You never get the part of your comment wey dey vex me. See the part below

“A girl he probably sleeps with (free), she cooks for him (free) etc etc et”

Baba, you’re stingy. So your mother in law cannot ask for help?

deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

stinginess is all I see

Please admin this kind of post is pissing me off

Let him leave the girl so that another serious guy will take over

The mother didn't ask you to spend money on her but for a loan to help your so called fiancee, and to be repaid at the end of the month.

You are lucky to meet such a nice family that didn't open office on your head....

From what you said, the girl is decent. So you may break up with her if you want.

I can pay all the money and marry her...