TheTechMan:

Babe you bad, knockout punch!

Onyiridike:


I would not have spent a minute replying a feminist. Your future husband if you ever marry is in hell fire already.

spits

TheUpsetGirl1:


that's child abuse, she isn't ripe for marriage yet.

sec school haba!
at least she should graduate from university first, and have something doing

from ur moniker I know say u don dey para, calm down e never reach vex.

her mother can't afford university education for her, and the proposed suitors are willing to send her to school.
maybe age is the barrier

a chase for perfection delays good results, rather, different trials give you experience to learn what makes perfection to come in place I like this

wwwtortoise:


One major reason why people make wrong marital decision is Societal pressure

Nigerian society is notorious for that. This is why I can never live in Nigeria. I sincerely don't want marriage because I consider marriage too much of a liability.

As an introvert, I enjoy my own company more than that of any other. Also, I don't live in a society where people police your marital status or treat you badly for not being married so I am really living my life according to my own terms and I feel so happy, blessed and content. No stress.

I met a girl of 20 that must finish sch be4 marriage, ok. She just got admission-sociology at Bsu. Later, she said after sch she goes into music, that marriage will cage her. This was someone that told me any time ready 4 marriage she's ready, just watching her 4 now!

flyca:
Not necessarily so!

Before now, this kind of topic will not be written without splashing Linda Ikeji into our faces! Now she is engaged - Praise Jesus!

Do not tag marriage to a particular age. This is one of the wrong assumptions guys make when marriage-shaming older single women.

People should marry when they are financially and emotionally ready to face the challenges that marriage brings. Marriage is no child's play.

Another is that I will personally encourage women to pursue their career and be financially grounded before delving into marriage. Nigeria is hard. Marriage, child bearing etc impedes a woman's career growth. If you don't take care, you are out of job. Getting back in a few years later in a labour-congested society such as ours is challenging, most times absent.

If you marry early and depend fully on an another adult for your daily sustainance, of what use is your education? Besides, you are gonna bring a lot of pressure of the man/marriage. Nigerian economy of today harsh o. Enterpreneurship without capital sustainance will fail, biko I'm not talking about hawking ankara and perfume from office to office.

From my own experience, a woman advancing in her career does not stop men from liking and toasting her. Just live a level-head life, without too much drama. Don't give in to societial pressure and start everyday vague uploads and preaching on Facebook and co, it's no competition. Live a natural (not fake) life devoid of sexual controversies, and stalking ex-es. etc. It will not be hard for you to get a man that will adore you even in your late 30's.

I am a living example.
And Sister Linda Ikeji is also engaged too already.

Bro, its not good for a woman to marry at a late age.

Okoyeebos:


See you in Shiloh in 2050.

this is more than Savagery... It's Tiwa Savage

Chi59:

No

Good answer. You can't just accept to date who you don't know just like that unless you're... so desperate.

Now, to the yardstick as a measure of intelligence you mentioned, I am a very picky guy so you should know the yardstick is gonna be very long.

Here, take a peek.

Intelligence means different things to different people but to me, intelligence/smartness can be broken down into 'book smart' and 'street smart'.

So starting with 'book smart', I'll like to know her educational level and her performance in school with reference to her school grades.

Furthermore, her mastery of English language is also a thing of great concern. For me, it doesn't just end with speaking good English or even all these funny brands of American and British 'pho-ne' most of you girls of nowadays can easily identify with, her ability to write well in English is also a factor to be considered.

A simple thing as writing "Am going to school..." instead of the correct form which is "I am going to school..." is enough to tell me what I am dealing with.

Then let's move on to the nitty-gritty which is 'street smart'.

Yes.

'Street smart' is all about being wise and having common sense.

So I will like to know how wise she really is.

How do you relate with people?

Are you the troublesome type? How do you use words? Are you the type of person that is always running your mouth? Are you the type of person who can't keep secrets? Are you the type of person who says mean, hurtful or wicked things about others... most especially behind their backs?

What places have you been to?

And what books have you read?

In other words, what are the important life experiences you've garnered so far?

Furthermore...

What's your ambition in life?

What skills do you have?

And how could such skill or skills be profitable to other people?

What million dollar idea do you have? Being an idea person myself, you'll understand why this very one is a very big issue.

How do you handle money? Are you the wasteful type who spends money like it grows on trees?

How does your problem solving capacity look like?

How do you view men and relationships? Do you see men as a means of survival and nothing else? In fact, what's your reason/s for wanting to be in a relationship? Do you seriously believe all a man wants from you is sex?

Your level of awareness of the things going around you is what I am always looking out for.

Who's your role model and why?

How politically aware are you?

How many Nigerian and foreign languages can you speak?

The list goes on and on...

So, you see, when men like me want to get into a serious relationship, we normally view and approach such relationships almost like a business deal with little or no room for error so I will always like to know what I am getting myself into.

Truth be told, when men like me ask you what do you bring to the table, you better be prepared.

Hope you can now see why I told you it's a tough job...?

Coldfeets:


Good answer. You can't just accept to date who you don't know just like that unless you're... so desperate.

Now, to the yardstick as a measure of intelligence you mentioned, I am a very picky guy so you should know the yardstick is gonna be very long.

Here, take a peek.

Intelligence means different things to different people but to me, intelligence/smartness can be broken down into 'book smart' and 'street smart'.

So starting with 'book smart', I'll like to know her educational level and her performance in school with reference to her school grades.

Furthermore, her mastery of English language is also a thing of great concern. For me, it doesn't just end with speaking good English or even all these funny brands of American and British 'pho-ne' most of you girls of nowadays can easily identify with, her ability to write well in English is also a factor to be considered.

A simple thing as writing "Am going to school..." instead of the correct form which is "I am going to school..." is enough to tell me what I am dealing with.

Then let's move on to the nitty-gritty which is 'street smart'.

Yes.

'Street smart' is all about being wise and having common sense.

So I will like to know how wise she really is.

How do you relate with people?

Are you the troublesome type? How do you use words? Are you the type of person that is always running your mouth? Are you the type of person who can't keep secrets? Are you the type of person who says mean, hurtful or wicked things about others... most especially behind their backs?

What places have you been to?

And what books have you read?

In other words, what are the important life experiences you've garnered so far?

Furthermore...

What's your ambition in life?

What skills do you have?

And how could such skill or skills be profitable to other people?

What million dollar idea do you have? Being an idea person myself, you'll understand why this very one is a very big issue.

How do you handle money? Are you the wasteful type who spends money like it grows on trees?

How does your problem solving capacity look like?

How do you view men and relationships? Do you see men as a means of survival and nothing else? In fact, what's your reason/s for wanting to be in a relationship? Do you seriously believe all a man wants from you is sex?

Your level of awareness of the things going around you is what I am always looking out for.

Who's your role model and why?

How politically aware are you?

How many Nigerian and foreign languages can you speak?

The list goes on and on...

So, you see, when men like me want to get into a serious relationship, we normally view and approach such relationships almost like a business deal with little or no room for error so I will always like to know what I am getting myself into.

Truth be told, when men like me ask you what do you bring to the table, you better be prepared.

Hope you can now see why I told you it's a tough job...?

I hope you know that you can't expect an intelligent partner if you don't show some measure of intelligence yourself.

You seem to be a perfectionist, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. But then, relationships are not business deals, the idea of leaving no room for errors is not the right mindset. No human being is perfect.
I believe you are aware of the fact that you aren't perfect. Hence you know you aren't, it will be reasonable to give room to flaws and errors from her, as much as you tolerate such from yourself.

Intelligence is not all there is to a relationship. You will need to blend that with certain values and virtues like love, tolerance and others.

I hope you find someone who can share your burdens, joys and pains, just as much as you would share hers.

Coldfeets:
You have a point there.

As for me, the main reason why I am yet to marry is because I haven't seen or found a girl so interesting enough.

Most girls I know are so intellectually below me. My above average IQ is the problem here...

Some friends advised me to just accept the girl and then begin to train her.

And I'm like... na me be her mama and papa wey suppose train her since tay tay...?

Maybe na baby mama me I go do finally finally because as for me, living in a house with someone who cannot challenge you intellectually all in the name of marriage is the shortest cut to suicide.

Mr Albert Einstein, I wish you well in your quest of finding an intellectual challenging lady

chuks34:


from ur moniker I know say u don dey para, calm down e never reach vex.

her mother can't afford university education for her, and the proposed suitors are willing to send her to school.
maybe age is the barrier

why would she give birth to child when she can't take care of her? doesn't she have a job?

wish I know that kind of mom, I'd gladly Sue her for forced marriage and Child abuse

Chi59:


I hope you know that you can't expect an intelligent partner if you don't show some measure of intelligence yourself.

You seem to be a perfectionist, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. But then, relationships are not business deals, the idea of leaving no room for errors is not the right mindset. No human being is perfect.
I believe you are aware of the fact that you aren't perfect. Hence you know you aren't, it will be reasonable to give room to flaws and errors from her, as much as you tolerate such from yourself.

Intelligence is not all there is to a relationship. You will need to blend that with certain values and virtues like love, tolerance and others.

I hope you find someone who can share your burdens, joys and pains, just as much as you would share hers.

are you scared of the rules?

TheUpsetGirl1:


are you scared of the rules?

I don't have any reason to be

Chi59:

I hope you know that you can't expect an intelligent partner if you don't show some measure of intelligence yourself.

Of course.

I cannot be demanding for what I cannot give.

You seem to be a perfectionist, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. But then, relationships are not business deals, the idea of leaving no room for errors is not the right mindset. No human being is perfect.

Yes.

That’s exactly the word!

I am a perfectionist.

I know no human being is perfect but I believe we can always keep trying to get better, or don’t you think so?

When choosing your business partner, like every astute business person will tell you, it is NEVER done anyhow.

You have to be very careful in choosing your partner because one wrong move might ruin the whole business… in a jiffy!

My idea of a healthy relationship is a (business) partnership where all the partners find themselves in a win-win situation.

You give; and you take. I give; I take.

You cannot just be a taker alone… or a giver only.

It doesn’t just work with me.

There must be a balance!

I believe you are aware of the fact that you aren't perfect. Hence you know you aren't, it will be reasonable to give room to flaws and errors from her, as much as you tolerate such from yourself.

You’re right.

But the problem is, how much room for errors am I willing and/or ready to tolerate?

Intelligence is not all there is to a relationship. You will need to blend that with certain values and virtues like love, tolerance and others.

Ummm... well, you have a point there but sadly, intelligence ranks topmost in my list of what I want in my partner.

Maybe, I didn’t mention it, but I do want intelligent kids also.

I don’t know if you’ve ever come across the report that intelligence in children is even transferred from the mother ?

To tell you the truth, I don’t know how true that report is but I am wholly biased towards it.

Men like me; we cannot be mesmerized by love. Or by sex. You really need to bring something more…

If I see that you have lots and lots of potential as in most of these things I really want in a woman, hmmm… I tell you, I can love you and love you and love you and continue to love only you till you start begging me not to kill you with love.

I hope you find someone who can share your burdens, joys and pains, just as much as you would share hers.

I hope so too.

For me, it’s not about burdens nor pains.

I’m all about joy.

But… like I presume you already know by now… there's always a price tag!

tosyne2much:
Mr Albert Einstein, I wish you well in your quest of finding an intellectual challenging lady

Oga Sir.

Can't you help me out by suggesting or referring someone like that to me?

Coldfeets:


Of course.

I cannot be demanding for what I cannot give.



Yes.

That’s exactly the word!

I am a perfectionist.

I know no human being is perfect but I believe we can always keep trying to get better, or don’t you think so?

When choosing your business partner, like every astute business person will tell you, it is NEVER done anyhow.

You have to be very careful in choosing your partner because one wrong move might ruin the whole business… in a jiffy!

My idea of a healthy relationship is a (business) partnership where all the partners find themselves in a win-win situation.

You give; and you take. I give; I take.

You cannot just be a taker alone… or a giver only.

It doesn’t just work with me.

There must be a balance!



You’re right.

But the problem is, how much room for errors am I willing and/or ready to tolerate?



Ummm... well, you have a point there but sadly, intelligence ranks topmost in my list of what I want in my partner.

Maybe, I didn’t mention it, but I do want intelligent kids also.

I don’t know if you’ve ever come across the report that intelligence in children is even transferred from the mother ?

To tell you the truth, I don’t know how true that report is but I am wholly biased towards it.

Men like me; we cannot be mesmerized by love. Or by sex. You really need to bring something more…

If I see that you have lots and lots of potential as in most of these things I really want in a woman, hmmm… I tell you, I can love you and love you and love you and continue to love only you till you start begging me not to kill you with love.



I hope so too.

For me, it’s not about burdens nor pains.

I’m all about joy.

But… like I presume you already know by now… there's always a price tag!

All well and good.

If anything, I avoid topics on relationships.
1. I think relationships are overhyped
2. No two relationships are the same.
3. Nothing in this life is actually set in stone. There's nothing like early or late. It's not how long or how fast but how well.

Anyway, what do I know?

[quote author=micronut post=66575756]#Who is too young to marry after 18yrs? By Elu

You wanna know? Now read this!

A girl finished school at 20, started working after service yearh[color=#006600][/color] at 22, and from there, one serious mature working class guy in his 30's, that has been searching for long, was all over her. He was pleading, Amope, please marry me now. He asked for her hand in marriage but some village people in the spirits of families, parents, and friends told my dear girl that she's too young for marriage.

They told her that she still has full life in front of her, that she shouldn't go and tie herself down in the name of marriage, that marriage is not for a girl of 22, that she ain't matured enough, that she might regret it or marry wrongly, that better guys are always available once she's ready, that she should take her time and starts exploring career wise and the advises are just endless Lol!

Fast forward to 6yrs after, this same girl has gone through 3 terrible unsuccessful relationships that has turned her to a walking corpse in the name of depression.

She wants to give love another chance again but she ain't just lucky anymore.

The guys she is meeting nowadays, want just girlfriend, and probably Gf for benefits, or just to while away time, some need money first, to even think of marrying, but all she wants now is just a serious man that is ready to settle down, and she's still searching, holding onto prayers and hope.

You said how about the rejected guy? Oh, he is happily married with kids and still a friend with this girl who he now advises and pray for, like an old friend.

Who is this girl, you may wanna ask? Lol!

Oh Well, She doesn't exist really, but this is just a play out of realities of many girls here who may be reading this, that have left school a decade ago or years ago and have been working and the only prayer they are praying for now is the #Right Man!

Now this is the issue, who is too young to marry after 18yrs as a Lady? At least from legality of age. Who? 19? 20? 22? 24? Lol!

Well, there is something that I have learnt in this life, which is the fact that[b] a chase for perfection delays good results, rather, different trials give you experience to learn what makes perfection to come in place.[/b]

I once wrote sometimes, that if you ask many of us why we are not married, you will find out that if it is not either fear of the unknown, financial challenges, then may be it is largely because of relationship insecurities - in the name of let me look for a better guy or a better girl .

You see my people, many of these reasons are understandable and are tenable, but the simple truth is that seeking perfection in either of the cases above only causes nothing but personal delay.

If you think you are too young and there is still plenty of time then you need to study how quickly time burns out unknowingly and how the same time you think you have plenty of it, will be the one that would now be against you.

4yrs ago, I was youth Corper and someone once asked me funnily, that when I would likely get married? Lol!

I answered, "Marriage for where, me that is still young, I need a good job in an FMCG company. I need to enjoy my bachelor's life to cover up for my long years of celibacy. I need to have many girls around me, when my pocket is loaded, out of which I can pick the best".

But see me now, we are still hustling oooo & still single to stupor. Lol! Now, even one funny small boy will say, bros go marry ooo. Lol!

Now, if I as a guy is being disturbed left and right, imagine what a girl of my age will be experiencing daily, just like the lady that I fictionally illustrated above.

Suddenly, the same people that advised you that the other time, will be the one, now on your neck, saying, 'Iyabo, hey, you are aging oo, do you know you will be 27 by may? Lol

Even your parents who said then that you should take your time, will be now be reminding you of those your mates that have married lately and how you must hasten up or drag Mr wrong to the right side. Lol

And for you.. Oh, yeah, you are 100% ready now but where are the ready guys? Possibly disturbing another 22yrs old girl who might just say 'Yes, let's give this marriage thing a trial" like Zahra Buhari. Lol

Moral of the lesson: There is no such time as a right time for marriage than the time when everything looks favorable on your side but fear of unknown or societal perception of too early, or not good enough for you, may make you delay it for a latter day.

See, If you don't keep any ready guy in the future, then my young lucky sister, marry that ready dude now, if he is everything you want in a man.

Again, let me add this for older single girls that are searching. If you're 23+ and you ready to settle down, please try to avoid guys between 24 to 28yrs, for marriage plans, because only very few think about marriage at that age. Many are still sorting out their lives.

At 25, I was enjoying my life as a young Naija guy with no worries, and any girl at that time for me would have been in a long time waiting mode. Lol!

You wanna settle down, roll with men of 30+, with that, your waiting time reduces.

And for guys, you wanna settle down now but you have no money, please leave out girls below 24, many are not ready, they wanna explore, and the ready ones have financial burdens, that only big bros could carry.

Roll with older girls, you might not pay a dine, as these girls are mostly financially okay on their own. Through them, you get quick parental consent, the families accept you quickly and even fund your wedding plans. Just go bring your family and come and take her away. Lo[/b]l

[b]Wisdom is all we need!

#Goodnight Single friends. Let's keep searching rightly and let's not be delaying ourselves unknowingly.




Nice write up I must say.
However I beg to disagree on the fact I said girls should avoid 24+ if they seek to settle down. It all depends on the individuals Volvos.

The youngest guy in my secondary just got married and his not even 25 yet.
My bosom friend is engaged and he is not even 26 either.

At the end of the day even the 30 plus might not be ready to settle down.