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Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by xperiencelove(m): 7:28am On Aug 16, 2020 |
I understand your plight. Go for the DNA secretly. Arrange with the lab that will do the test never to mention DNA in the presence of the girl. After the test, if the girl is yours good luck and tear the result immediately but if not, scan the result and save it in two to three emails and cloud. Then it is either you confront her or keep silent and visit good counsellor if you can't handle the situation yourself. The counsellor will guide you to prepare for any eventuality that may arise in future. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by stanliwise(m): 7:40am On Aug 16, 2020 |
memories1:worst Advice ever. You either Ask for it or you don’t. Your speaking with your wife isn’t gonna ever improve situation. Your DNA test is to prove her credibility which means you don’t have that trust in her. So it is better you only just info her only for her to be aware. No need for heart warm discussion. |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by evil1: 7:47am On Aug 16, 2020 |
Conduct your DNA test... just a hair I believe will do or a blood in disguise of Genotype and Bloodgroup will cover the loophole. My brother please run that test for all your kids, but which ever way it turns out, don't treat or blame the little girl for someone's else mistake. 1 Like |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Sierusvirus(m): 8:52am On Aug 16, 2020 |
TheNaijaMan: It will be difficult for you but you don’t need to take permission from your wife before going for the DNA Test. DNA test is just like knowing your children’s blood group when need arises so going for a DNA is not a bad idea rather it’s advisable, if the child is yours, FINE but if not, know the real father in-case issues that needs blood transfer comes up in-order to safe life. |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by chuddyforlife(m): 10:49am On Aug 16, 2020 |
[quote author=NiCurious post=92868645]Dude, I am not playing victim, but it seems that you are. Reread the original post. OP wishes to keep his family intact, and continue his good relationship with his wife. He likes his life the way it is, but he is curious to know about his daughter. He does not like that he is feeling doubt, and feeling less affection toward the girl. He is curious to know the truth, without potentially turning his world upside down, when he finds out. OP is free to do a DNA test for knowledge sake, but he would be well advised to think ahead, what he will do with this knowledge, and how it will affect those around him, and himself. Supposing he discards the child as it seems you would do--whom does that benefit? Not the child who has done nothing. Not her siblings. Not his wife, who he feels has been faithful, all these long years. If you are the type who thinks of nothing but money, why would he throw away his investment so far, on someone so promising? He has been well pleased with this child, in her own right. If she is indeed another man's child, it is the other man's loss. Families do indeed raise children that aren't theirs. It's called adoption. My advice is to the OP and his sensibilities, and not to you. If you don't want to raise a child that isn't yours, don't go raw when your girlfriend is still dating around. And if you do, please, [i]when your pregnant girlfriend marries another man, fight tooth and nail for a DNA test to prove the child is yours, so you can raise it....... All I see here is lamenting and speaking in languages..... Do you read the part that the op says he doesn't treat the girl as equal as his other siblings Answer me what is happy home when infidelity and lack of trust has taken place Even if the said child didn't do anything....that spirit that whispers to the op that this child might not be his.....will still whisper hatred and maltreatment towards him to the girl So why don't he Clair his dawt...and consult a secret DNA and even if his wife gets to find out... Let him face the wife and sort things out between them.....so that he will know where the girl belong and put her in her place... Period..... Maybe the oppt might be a simp....who knows And for my relationship matter....i don't date a cheat....i don't date a promiscus lady... I don't date Jezebels in disguise of a woman Keep your advice to your self.....thanks Have a blissful Sunday!!!!! |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by chuddyforlife(m): 10:51am On Aug 16, 2020 |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Bennysam: 11:51am On Aug 16, 2020 |
Oyindidi:And if the girl is not his , what will you do after DNA? |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Bennysam: 11:52am On Aug 16, 2020 |
memories1:The best advice you can take |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Bennysam: 11:53am On Aug 16, 2020 |
chris2face:What of after 20 years you found out she's not your daughter what will you do then |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Bennysam: 11:54am On Aug 16, 2020 |
Medunah:Of course , I will not rise another man child |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Nobody: 12:50pm On Aug 16, 2020 |
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Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by NiCurious: 5:21pm On Aug 16, 2020 |
[quote author=chuddyforlife post=92876690][/quote] Lamenting? I don't think so. Indeed, lack of trust and failure to be trustworthy, do not make a happy home. But OP's household has been based on trust, and apparent worthiness of trust, for at least the last ten out of eleven years. I did read where he feels less love for the eldest child. He says it's because he's not sure she's his. Will he suddenly start loving her again if he discovers she's his? The conflict is taking place in the OP's mind, for now: -whether his love for a child is conditional, and why he feels less love for her, if it turns out that she's his -whether the last ten years of fidelity from his wife no longer count for him, even if the first year was doubtful -whether the peace and happiness of his household around him is worth more, or less, to him than having only his blood children in it. These are questions he needs to resolve before any DNA test, because if he acts with a mind unprepared for what the knowledge may bring, his whole family will be affected and himself with it, and there is no taking back his actions and going back to the way things were, if he doesn't like the result. OP is indeed free to seek a DNA test. Knowledge is good. But he needs to prepare his mind, before he trades a smaller knot in his peace, for a larger one--the risk of losing all of what he values. You are free to disagree with me. But the dilemma being discussed is not yours, but the OP's, and he has different priorities than you do. A blessed Sunday to you too. |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Angelacruz: 5:27pm On Aug 16, 2020 |
TheNaijaMan:a strand of your daughter's hair will do |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Whispereye: 9:37am On Aug 22, 2020 |
I think that the proble that you have is that you are searching for any excuse to reject your daughter and break your marriage. If your wife loves you and you have been married for more than 10 years then why do you want to ruin your marriage by find out if the child is yours or not? Let it go and live in peace because you ay not like the truth. |
Re: Should I Tell My Wife I Want A DNA Test? by Mazugore365: 9:52am On Aug 22, 2020 |
Out of all those years that you have been married, why is it now that you want to find out of the child is yours? Even if it turns out that she is not your daughter then wha are you going to do? Are you going to abandon her and make her siffer for something that she never did. She is just a kid and please do not try to ruin your marriage because that is where you are headed with this. |
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