famziano:
Hi Nlanders, I'm sorry to bother you guys with my situation but I need your candid advice to what's happening in my 5 years relationship, now straight to story, I met her when she was 20yrs old then I was 25 (5yrs age gap), we started slowly because I was in 300L in the UNI then, she's always coming to visit me at my brother( I live with my elder bro then) anytime I'm around, she works so she'll see me in the morning before she heads out to work every morning and always see me every evening before she goes back home, she was really in love and I reciprocated well enough, one of those days she slept off in my room(my bro got 2bedroom so I had my own room) I woke her about 30mins later but she told me I shouldn't bother that she'll soon be heading home, I said OK, I went back to the living room watching an Europa match with my bro, 30mins later I noticed there was no sign of her leaving yet so I went back in and met her awake surprisingly, Oh you're awake, time to go look at the time it's already past 9, she looks at me and smile then she said I'm leaving but not now, we should talk, TALK no we can talk in the morning since you will be here in the morning, then she started talking not minding what the time says, she told me how much she loves me and cares alot about me, then she asked me "do you love me"? I said yes and I was being honest, then she begged me not to cheat on her because I WAS in school and I could possibly have any girl I want but honestly I wasn't that type of dude, I don't double date, so i told her and assured her I won't and I will tell her if I found out I'm no longer interested in the relationship instead of cheating on her, she was pleased with my reply, so she left that night around few minutes to 10, getting home that night her mom was really mad at her and wouldn't let her in, you know the yoruba parent style of handling such situation, she insisted she goes back to where she was coming from, Oh jeez which kind wahala bi dis I told her on the phone, I told you it was getting late, then she said she intentionally did what she did because her mom wasn't taking her serious, Ha! if you have family issues why did she got me involve here (I thought to myself) she said I shouldn't worry she'll be fine, finally her mom let her in around 1am serves her right? I don't know how she managed her night but she called by 6am that she'll soon get to my place, I said OK, by 7.10am she was already at my door, Oh you're here already come in, then she narrated what has been happening with her mom and how she's been over protective with guys around her and her sister, I told her that was normal for any loving, caring parent to be protective, I made her understand she's doing all that because she loves you, it's that simple she agreed then she begged me to meet her so her mom wouldn't worry much like she did last night, I couldn't give her a straight answer so I told her I will think about it because at that point I can spot her desperation, later that afternoon I was at my bro office (bro has a small printing company he runs) then I told him everything and asked for his advice, then he told me "if you love her and think she's marriable "see her mom no qualms" so I took my bro advice and met her mom that weekend, she was very nice we talked about almost everything necessary and she told me she doesn't like late night wakabout that led to her knowing about me, I promise her it will never happen again, fast forward to 2016 during my service in Ibadan she came visiting because we haven't seen in about 3months before then, that was when I first noticed, I woke up to her crying around 5am then I noticed the bed was wet, I couldn't process what has happened immediately so I asked her why are you crying she keeps mute then it occurs to me it's bed-wet(Oh it is) how did it happened? she just couldn't say a word, well I told her I've read something similar to this and I summed it up to be stress to be the cause, I tried to calm her down and acted like nothing happened so I can get her to talk, she was really ashamed because I've never seen her like this before, later that day we got into a convo, now she's talking then she told me she's very sorry it happened and I had to see it, "I've been going through this trauma for awhile (a year plus) and this is 6th time I'm bedwetting unconsciously" she said she can't tell anybody because of the shame, now I know, I was bit confused too as I've never seen this happen in real life (an adult bedwetting) though I've read something related to this online so I decided to call a distance doctor friend to seek for advice who gave us tips like she should take more water during the day and less in the night, sleep early whenever she's stressed out, don't eat sugary contained meals late night etc I think it worked because it didn't happen again until she left Ibadan after 2weeks with me, fast forward to last weekend she came home(now at my apartment/ soon to be our apartment) Lo and behold it happened again, what is this? I sparked for her because I believed she knows what to do to avoid this embarrassment, the last time I saw this happened was 2yrs ago, and this is still happening to you, how is this happening sef? meanwhile I already made plans to propose to her on her birthday which is next weekend July 7, but she's been avoiding me lately, she doesn't come home, she doesn't call me like she use to, if I call she's quick to drop my call, whatsapp messages no reply, for the past 3days she didn't pick my call at all so I called her mom and asked her whereabout then she told me she went church for a 7days program, I'm really confused I left her message to please see me.... please house I need help? advice, tips, anything at all abeg make una help me!!! could this spiritual battle?


PS: I love her and care so much about her, in the past 5yrs we've been through alot together, I'm ready to settle down because everything is place just this issue

Even if we no get work, its too long to read now

If this is the "only" issue you have in your relationship.
I have to admit that you have it "easy".
Bedwetting is a psychological thing.
Something usually triggers the involuntary urinary discharge (this is where you have to make her comfortable enough to confide in you).

Talk to her about how she usually feel right and after bedwetting in course of her night rest.

I used to have a platonic female friend with this issue (she was 20 at the time).
She only bedwet after having a nightmare.
We both worked on conditioning her mind to wake up right after having a nightmare sometimes it involves talking and chatting with her into the dead of the night before she goes to bed.
Whatever it was we did. It worked.


Just help her to sort out her issue and you will have her respect for life even if you don't end up marrying her.

mimimile93:


Op I have seen several girls (big girls) with this issues. Even one of my cousin had bedwet till he reaches 26yrs. We tried evrytin the dude was till bed wettin. Two yrs ago he stops. It just happened.

Just have to understand her. As far as she's not cheating on you. Accept her like that. She will stop with time.

Bed wettin could be related to medical or the body system but I doubt spirituality aspect of it.. Let her watch her diet

one of the best advice so she will stop bedweting as soon as she has her first child and you need to let her know that she do not have any let her set a time she will always urinate. She can put her phone in alarm to wake her up

famziano:



I love her and I've sent her series of texts telling her how much I love her, reminding her our plans for the future, I'm not sure if she's with her phone tho, I'm trying my best to get in touch with her but it seems like she deliberately disconnected with me for reason I don't understand, last time we talked on the phone she said she's looking for solution to her problem, I've apologized about the sparking too

You sparked? Then you need to really apologise and assure her you love her.

That year when you pee on the bed and you intentionally pour water on the bed to hide that fact... Buhhhaaaahhha.

mimimile93:


Op I have seen several girls (big girls) with this issues. Even one of my cousin had bedwet till he reaches 26yrs. We tried evrytin the dude was till bed wettin. Two yrs ago he stops. It just happened.

Just have to understand her. As far as she's not cheating on you. Accept her like that. She will stop with time.

Bed wettin could be related to medical or the body system but I doubt spirituality aspect of it.. Let her watch her diet

What would you do if you were in the op's shoes?

famziano:


Thank you sir, but she's avoiding me, even if I have a solution for her how do I take her out of hiding

Lemme tell you my story of about 20yrs ago. My younger brother had the same problem (as a teenager). We shared the same bed, I decided to take water before going to bed so I'd have to wake up to pee and take him along so most times when it happens, I consider it my fault. I would pour some water on my side of the bed and make him believe we both pee. This reduced his embarrassment and shame and we got positive results in no time. My point is you need to build her confidence someway,somehow. She needs to know even though it's not her fault it happens, she can do something about it. Good luck

How about setting an alarm every 2 hours

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
What would you do if you were in the op's shoes?

according to Op d bae is distancing herself frm op. Due to shame and I bet it will take a bullet in hrt for dat bae to pass a nite wit op again until she gets solution to her problm.

If I was in d op's shoes this is what I will do,

go to her place since her fam is aware of our union then talk to her try and win her over to pass a night in my place and when she does, I will purposely bed wet.

Why am I bed wettin?

To give confidence in herself.
To show her anyybody can bed wet and it's not the end of the world.

Now we are all bed wetters and we would plan on gettin solutions to our prblms.

Now it's not her prblm but our prblm.

We now work to get a solution.
With this I am able to drive away that tension in her dat fear, that low self-estem. And shame from her.

mimimile93:


according to Op d bae is distancing herself frm op. Due to shame and I bet it will take a bullet in hrt for dat bae to pass a nite wit op again until she gets solution to her problm.

If I was in d op's shoes this is what I will do,

go to her place since her fam is aware of our union then talk to her try and win her over to pass a night in my place and when she does, I will purposely bed wet.

Why am I bed wettin?

To give confidence in herself.
To show her anyybody can bed wet and it's not the end of the world.

Now we are all bed wetters and we would plan on gettin solutions to our prblms.

With this I am able to drive away that tension in her dat fear, that low self-estem.

So I guess you didn't see the package or your decided to ignore? Was surprised at the courier.

mejai:
buy her 'poul'

encourage her to wake up and use d loo

tell her to be able to shout 'devil is a liar', when next she dreams about peeing in d toilet or road side

dat dream eh, no medical solution


bro, visit her and apologize

lastly, send us pics of introduction ooo

You just made me laff although this is not a laffing matter at all

Op i advice you send her few whatsapp voice notes telling her how sorry you're emotionally so she'd call you or take your calls at least, then you can both look for a solution to her problem.

There's nothing spiritual here, just go to the hospital together but that doesn't mean you shouldn't put things in prayer

We look forward to seeing your testimony here again bro

austyn0:
I know sometimes we overreact....You shouldn't have raised your voice on her.....Bedwetting is so very embarrassing and worrisome for a grownup,, I can only imagine how low and ashamed she imagines herself in your presence.....

Give her time,, keep sending the messages,, search for every sweet and encouraging words you can find and forward it to her,, you can as well tell her you have purposely started bedwetting too sef..

On the solution,,she might be going for prayers cuz she thinks it is spiritual,,sometimes it is not spiritual....Most people that urinate constantly bedwets...... I was once a sugar-addicted nigga,, It got to a point I started urinating every 10mins after drinking water till there is nothing left to form urine in my bladder....Sugar causes constant urine and as a result sometimes you see yourself urinating in a dream not knowing that it is happpening real....Urinary bladder size causes it too[I stand to be corrected]....

So,, tell her to reduce the way she consumes sugar...There were excercises I read about that prevents constant urine,, she should google it up or you do it for her....Save your girl,, Save your relationship.....All the best man.

pls what did u do to stop the frequent urination because I currently experience that although it has reduced but I'm still not comfortable

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
So I guess you didn't see the package or your decided to ignore? Was surprised at the courier.

package? Where? From who?

at op u can pm me I can send u an Islamic medicine(if u don't mine) which is 100% natural and u will do it yourself.

Mtm5313:
at op u can pm me I can send u an Islamic medicine(if u don't mine) which is 100% natural and and sure.u will do it yourself.

or you can type islamic/ prophetic medicine for adult bedwetting to google

I know how you feel bro. If truly you love this lady and you want a future together, then you have to be supportive. Kindly take her to a good hospital to see a consultant gynaecologist or a urologist for proper examination and treatment. The issue can be resolved medically.

She must be a nairalander.. Nonsense

mimimile93:
package? Where? From who?

Never mind.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Never mind.

if u were a nigga I wud say u were rollin up a blunt wen quotin me. But yet naija women are hell of a smoker lately

Sammy555:
pls what did u do to stop the frequent urination because I currently experience that although it has reduced but I'm still not comfortable

I'm not really sure what I did but I dis these things....

Reduce your intake of sugar or do not take sugar for like 2weeks or one month,, eat vegetables more...There is also an excercise that helps strengthen the urinary bladder[Google it up]..

If you drink water too much,, your constant urinating is not a problem but I urinate less frequently now after I ran very far away from sugar,, as fast as my legs can carry me

It's a spiritual attack, as it started 3years ago.

It's good she realised and she's going to church program and prayers

Then from your part. Op. Apologize to her for getting angry at her, I know it's not easy but sincerely she's trying to source for solution. Seat her down, talk to her to be aware of her body when asleep at night. Place alarm close to the bed, to wake u and her up, I think every two hours. She must wake up to go and pee in the loo.
If she's doing this consistently, her subconsciousness will get used to it and start waking up at intervals to go pee. And tell her anytime she dreams that she's in the bathroom about to pee, she should know it's a lie and she's actually sleeping on a bed. So she should stop and wake up. That's how I prevented myself from bed-wetting.

It almost happened to me! When bed-wetting wanted to start on me, I was in dream and about to pee in a lovely toilet, so I was like lemme pee. Then something just woke me up as I was about to pee out the urine. Lol.
I was like what!

Ewo! Am on bed o! Jeez! I stood up quickly to go pee. After that night, I started taking note of my body when am sleeping. I will say am lightly awake when am sleeping lol. I do wake up 5times from midnight to morning when sleeping to go and pee. Am used to it.

mimimile93:
if u were a nigga I wud say u were rollin up a blunt wen quotin me. But yet naija women are hell of a smoker lately

You want me to be blunt? Lucky I don't roll like that. Cheers. Deal with your demons

She needs prayers that's all,any other tradition doesn't work.

austyn0:
I'm not really sure what I did but I dis these things....

Reduce your intake of sugar or do not take sugar for like 2weeks or one month,, eat vegetables more...There is also an excercise that helps strengthen the urinary bladder[Google it up]..

If you drink water too much,, your constant urinating is not a problem but I urinate less frequently now after I ran very far away from sugar,, as fast as my legs can carry me

thanks very much

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
You want me to be blunt? Lucky I don't roll like that. Cheers. Deal with your demons

Women are my demons..
Ain't tried of dealing with "em

it's psychological. it's her subconscious mind giving her the wrong code that she's actually peeing in a toilet or by the road side. she has to train her mind, eat less sugary diet and exercise frequently. it doesn't mater whether or not she eats late.
Exercise is food for the brain. it will help her have better control of her system and likewise strengthen the bladder muscles just in case she has a weak bladder.
I bet you she can fight this. You made a mistake scolding her though. She's already hard on herself. No need adding to her insecure state. She's taking the right step by engaging in prayer. She has to back it up by works. As it's commonly said, Heaven help those who help themselves.

mimimile93:


Women are my demons..
Ain't tried of dealing with "em

U don't fool me.

u sparked cuz you felt she knows what to do to avoid it but she didn't? First of its not easy as you think like that, dose measures are just preventive. Now u go blame her if u see am dey drink water sef.

dejialam:
I remember when i was much younger, i do bedwet then but my grandma came up with a very ridiculous solution which goes thus;
Get a hot chalcoal pee on it thats all.
I observe ever since then i get this hot sensation to pee even in sleep I will never sleep again till i pee.
So tell her to try it, it might work for her too.
Thank me later.

Its really work, it good to have those grandma.... OP take note of this 100% sure

ivor1:
Catetherize her every night n remove it in the morning it works like magic thank me later ��� no mind me o

Hi, you sent me a Pm. Don't really check PM as such. For faster response. Kindly call or whatsapp 09090287555. Thanks

austyn0:

you can as well tell her you have purposely started bedwetting too sef..

Awww...I love you

famziano this would work and make her laugh.

Wow! For a moment I wasn't sure this was Romance section. Mature responses everywhere on this thread. Schools must be writing exams!

boyjo:


Awww...I love you

famziano this would work and make her laugh.

Wow! For a moment I wasn't sure this was Romance section. Mature responses everywhere on this thread. Schools must be writing exams!

Are u gay?