mgtow:


Apparently there are, they are the enablers. You seem them on Facebook saying 'Tanx 4 acceptance me'.

. you are wicked...lol

Fuckyoumod:
Oga... Your not coming out plain.

You never caught her cheating from your story.

Everything in your story is based on suspicions.

Go get your facts right.

You're an amateur, just continue saying 'you never caught her cheating..........' jargons until badt boys drill all the oil in your gf/wife's oil well finish. This boy doesn't even know what the ladies in this our generation are made up of. There are still good girls though. Shout out to all real women out there, you're precious.

BlackAfrican post=69i234966:
Hello NLs,
I'm too emotionally drained to make sound judgement so I need your contribution on this issue.

I found out recently that my gf has been living a secret life online. My findings suggest that she may be cheating on me... Why? She's been communicating with an ex that practically broke her heart in the past...

She's also frequently communicating with another guy on Facebook who has repeatedly called her my love, honey, sweetheart and other romantic pet names and she has reciprocated most times.... At a point, the guy said he was naked and waiting for her at home... And she said she's coming... I guess they took the conversation offline...

She's also been chatting with several other guys... the ones I saw on FB indicate they're either asking her out or she's outrightly flirting with them...

On WhatsApp, only God knows the content and direction of her chat with other guys...

The painful part is I found out she's been having this online/offline double life by accident... That's a story for another day...

When I confronted her with my findings, she's been claiming she has nothing with any of the guys and that I should forgive her for hiding her online life from me...

I feel betrayed... I doubt if she'll ever change... I just want to move on...

What should I do?

So ? Thank God you said girlfriend not wife if you want her for yourself do the needful (MARRY HER) I see no reason why a woman would flirt around if you are ready and serious about marrying her so what happens to her if she puts all her hope in you and at the end of the day you dont marry her abeg abeg oga if it is not cool with you move ahead wahala no dey dat one

madridguy:
Hope you've browse her server very well?

If yes, dump her and get a good girl

If No, try and mark your own register and move on.

From your narration, your GF is a public toilet. Kiss the bitter truth.

You don't talk flippantly in public especially when someone seeks advice from you. What about your girlfriend, what is she?

O BOY WOMEN NO DAY CHANGE MY GUY. ABEG YOU GO SEARCH FOR ANOTHER. GOD WILL GIVE ANOTHER ONE

merxi55:
That she's in a relationship doesn't mean she can't innocently flirt with others ... If she hasn't cheated on you, by sleeping with either of them, she isn't guilty. We all in some ways have done same..the one caught Is the criminal... Some times we just need someone to chat with or be flirtatious towards just keep the days going when bored.

Express your displeasures, and watch if she'd stop. The only wrong she did as not to tell you about it... But talk to her, and let her state her reasons for that... You just don't know...you just dont!

OMG
So based on your assertions,flirting is now normal and cool as long as there is no cheating going on?
Haven't you heard of the saying that "words are actions in rehearsal"?
Once flirtation starts,an affair brews and cheating is inevitable!
Or don't you abide by your Personal text: "if you dont want the devil, stay away from his shore!"?

If the lady wants to flirt,let her free the guy,end the relationship and keep flirting around whether innocently or in a guilty way!
But as long as she is in a serious relationship,she should respect her man and respect herself by not giving other guys a reason to believe she is single and searching!

If she can do such in a relationship,imagine what she will do when she gets married!
Smh

Some times we just need someone to chat with or be flirtatious towards just keep the days going when bored.

Totally wrong and bad advise!
If you want to be flirtatious when bored,please do it with your bf! Simple!
That's selfish nah!

He is angry because he saw the conversations. Like men, every one seems to be hiding something until the bubble bursts. What makes you think the next one he gets will be better?

thorpido:
If you have the proof and you have shown her that and she couldn't refute it,there's only one decision for you to make.............move on.

She'll never change.

Tecno66:
He is angry because he saw the conversations. Like men, every one seems to be hiding something until the bubble bursts. What makes you think the next one he gets will be better?

There are ladies worse thatn the Op's girl but there are many better too.He can find from the better.
We still have many good girls.Problem with many young guys nowadays is that they want slay queens.

Oga no kill yourself have been in that shii before... Don't wait until u die of heartbreak now it's Time to take off

I'm surprised at most of the advice being generated on this thread. Or should I say I'm not, since majority of the advisors are guys. I'm sure I'd the OP had been female, the women folk would be advising the same. Let me ask a few pertinent questions:

1. Have you had a sit-down with her about this? What was her response?
2. Is she sexually or emotionally involved with any of those guys?
3. What is her stand with you?
4. Has she ALWAYS known the direction of your relationship?

You see, it's easy to make judgements and cast aspersions when you are on the other side of the fence. Many of us are guilty of flirting with the opposite sex on social media. But the moment a scapegoat is caught, everyone wants to throw a stone in the free-for-all. I am female and I'm advocating for this OP's girlfriend because nothing is always as it seems. Some of you, the guys here, advising the OP to 'throw' the girl out, have cheated on your girls, even fiancées, at some point. My take on this is: sit with her and have a heart to heart. Tell her how you feel about her actions. Then watch her. Keep the thought of marriage on hold for now until you can trust her. Love has never been easy. If you toss her out, who's to say the next won't be worse?

Respect55:
Dey dia dey ask qtns. Went through my girl's own and saw where she denied being in a relationship. We are done as I type now.

Guy, the thing vex you no be small. You mean you saw where your existence was denied ?


Girls sha get mind andi like your style. You didn't bother confronting her to hear lame excuses and all that, you just axed it as e dey hot. Kudos bro, you are a real man.

srclark:
So ? Thank God you said girlfriend not wife if you want her for yourself do the needful (MARRY HER) I see no reason why a woman would flirt around if you are ready and serious about marrying her so what happens to her if she puts all her hope in you and at the end of the day you dont marry her abeg abeg oga if it is not cool with you move ahead wahala no dey dat one

Let me ask:
If your girl caught you out cheating on her and you really love her but it's one of those things that 'just' happen, as they say, would you expect her to forgive you and take you back?

that one na future olosho

Nowadays, the average Nigerian girl is a public property. She's only yours when she is with you

yes na see dem here

https://mobile.facebook.com/naijaolosho

Heineken:
lol but bro girls bad. If you trust them, that's the end. They wicked. Even married ones no gree.

I have the most sexy girl I can desire sitting on my bed right now

I thought we could have a relationship but I’m kicking her out of my house right now she is toxic,
Rude and insulted me multiple times very controlling woman too

Wish I could give her beauty to a girl with brains

I thank God I didn’t make love to her

Imagine if I bought suya with that money ??

Mistakes ...

I hope this will be a lifelong lesson to follow God alone

BlackAfrican:
Hello NLs,
I'm too emotionally drained to make sound judgement so I need your contribution on this issue.

I found out recently that my gf has been living a secret life online. My findings suggest that she may be cheating on me... Why? She's been communicating with an ex that practically broke her heart in the past...

She's also frequently communicating with another guy on Facebook who has repeatedly called her my love, honey, sweetheart and other romantic pet names and she has reciprocated most times.... At a point, the guy said he was naked and waiting for her at home... And she said she's coming... I guess they took the conversation offline...

She's also been chatting with several other guys... the ones I saw on FB indicate they're either asking her out or she's outrightly flirting with them...

On WhatsApp, only God knows the content and direction of her chat with other guys...

The painful part is I found out she's been having this online/offline double life by accident... That's a story for another day...

When I confronted her with my findings, she's been claiming she has nothing with any of the guys and that I should forgive her for hiding her online life from me...

I feel betrayed... I doubt if she'll ever change... I just want to move on...

What should I do?

start a new life my broda no point waiting for her to change bfor u do something u will forever regret just let her go

dairykidd:

I am supposed to ignore u but i will give u this mention so u can probably masturbate to it.. If u don't respect urself as a supposed mother & mind ur business the next time u call me a lazy kid again u will not be able to sleep properly from what i will expose to u about urself... Calling me lazy.. My net worth is more than u & ur husband's combined.. Don't face ur home

Yimu . Flogging you dey hungry me.

anigbajumo:


Lol,wea did u c 90% of them are olosho??I guess 98% of them.The probability of getting decent ladies in Nigeria is infinitesimal. Don't lemme go further coz my present Bae is a Nairalander....

My brother.. Na only God go help us. U are not far from the truth

Cut her off and move on......betrayal/death knocking..... Hope u don't reside in Lagos, u no wetting deh happen for lagoon.....to be fore warned is to be fore arm

Maya4eva:

I'm surprised at most of the advice being generated on this thread. Or should I say I'm not, since majority of the advisors are guys. I'm sure I'd the OP had been female, the women folk would be advising the same. Let me ask a few pertinent questions:

1. Have you had a sit-down with her about this? What was her response?
2. Is she sexually or emotionally involved with any of those guys?
3. What is her stand with you?
4. Has she ALWAYS known the direction of your relationship?

Please don't turn this into a gender war....this is about a personality and not gender!
....what is wrong is wrong and must not be sugarcoated to sound right!

First of all,whats flirting?
Flirt:
Behave as though sexually attracted to someone

Flirting is a social and sexual behavior involving verbal or written communication, as well as body language, by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, or if done playfully, for amusement.


My issue is....why flirt when she is supposedly in a relationship?
If she is having an issue or misunderstanding with the bf or partner,she should have a heart to heart convo with him rather than flirting with "other guys" thereby giving them reasons to believe she is available!
If she wants to flirt,let her quit the relationship and do as she pleases....rather than flirting and still holding on to her relationship!

Maya4eva:

You see, it's easy to make judgements and cast aspersions when you are on the other side of the fence. Many of us are guilty of flirting with the opposite sex on social media. But the moment a scapegoat is caught, everyone wants to throw a stone in the free-for-all. I am female and I'm advocating for this OP's girlfriend because nothing is always as it seems.

Just because others are doing such does not imply that everyone is into it!
Not every lady flirts and not all guys flirt!
But that should not be an excuse to flirt.....
Flirting no matter the reason is totally unacceptable no matter the gender involved!
What if during one of her flirtatious activities,she falls for one of the guys and the next thing is to cheat on her man!
As for you advocating for the OP's gf....i have a question for you....what will be your reaction if you mistakenly saw a flirty chat between a random lady and your supposed bf or what will be your response if you physically met your partner or bf flirting with a babe?

Maya4eva:

Some of you, the guys here, advising the OP to 'throw' the girl out, have cheated on your girls, even fiancées, at some point.

Not every lady flirts and not all guys flirt!
But that should not be an excuse to flirt.....
Flirting no matter the reason is totally unacceptable no matter the gender involved!

Maya4eva:

My take on this is: sit with her and have a heart to heart. Tell her how you feel about her actions. Then watch her. Keep the thought of marriage on hold for now until you can trust her. Love has never been easy. If you toss her out, who's to say the next won't be worse?

As much as i may toe your path of caution by sitting his woman down for discus,i don't think such lady would want a heart to heart discus!
If that was what she wanted,she would have communicated her feelings to him and not engage in flirtatious activities!
And what makes you think she will stop having her chats when the guy poses the marriage question? smh
What you do in a relationship is directly proportional to what you will do in your marriage!

thorpido:
If you have the proof and you have shown her that and she couldn't refute it,there's only one decision for you to make.............move on.

She'll never change.

@fact

mamajaz:

Yimu . Flogging you dey hungry me.

If u dey flog ur husband no try am with another man outside... Everyone is not as weak as he is, bloody Jezebel. Come and flog ur ancestors

vchykp:
my dear.. please don't let such mentality pull you back in life, you don't compare yourself with a man.. so because ur husband flirt, you can leave ur kids and go flirting?.. pls woman is a woman!

oh plz stop all this gender nonsense,so bcuz u v a dingle D u allowed to do d nasties outside ur relationship or marriage n bcuz she doesn't so she has no ryt to huh wia is dat written biko......as d saying goes "do to others,what you will have others do to you" if u a cheat or a flirt den u end up with a woman just like u.

BlackAfrican:


2 yrs approximately.... would have let go if this is the first time... I forgave her and tried to talk sense to her Wen something like this happened less than 2 months ago.... now she repeats it again.... what hurts most is her continuous attempts to cover up her tracks with lies... she'll either lie or keep quiet abt something she knows she's done wrong.... she's been texting and calling that I should forgive her that she has nothing with the guys bt I don't want to be burnt a third time.

Bro we are experiencing exactly the same thing, when i saw the thread I was like how the Bleep did my soul open this thread on nairaland.I'm trying so hard to forgive her one last time. If it happens again, I'll move on forever

openmine:

Please don't turn this into a gender war....this is about a personality and not gender!
....what is wrong is wrong and must not be sugarcoated to sound right!

First of all,whats flirting?
Flirt:
Behave as though sexually attracted to someone

Flirting is a social and sexual behavior involving verbal or written communication, as well as body language, by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, or if done playfully, for amusement.


My issue is....why flirt when she is supposedly in a relationship?
If she is having an issue or misunderstanding with the bf or partner,she should have a heart to heart convo with him rather than flirting with "other guys" thereby giving them reasons to believe she is available!
If she wants to flirt,let her quit the relationship and do as she pleases....rather than flirting and still holding on to her relationship!


Just because others are doing such does not imply that everyone is into it!
Not every lady flirts and not all guys flirt!
But that should not be an excuse to flirt.....
Flirting no matter the reason is totally unacceptable no matter the gender involved!
What if during one of her flirtatious activities,she falls for one of the guys and the next thing is to cheat on her man!
As for you advocating for the OP's gf....i have a question for you....what will be your reaction if you mistakenly saw a flirty chat between a random lady and your supposed bf or what will be your response if you physically met your partner or bf flirting with a babe?


Not every lady flirts and not all guys flirt!
But that should not be an excuse to flirt.....
Flirting no matter the reason is totally unacceptable no matter the gender involved!



As much as i may toe your path of caution by sitting his woman down for discus,i don't think such lady would want a heart to heart discus!
If that was what she wanted,she would have communicated her feelings to him and not engage in flirtatious activities!
And what makes you think she will stop having her chats when the guy poses the marriage question? smh
What you do in a relationship is directly proportional to what you will do in your marriage!

OpenMine, I must say I'm impressed with the way you took the time to dissect and reply to every segment of my response.
First of all, this isn't a gender thing; merely stated facts.
Secondly, while you're bashing the OP's girl, do you know all the sides to this story?
Thirdly, you heard about 'benefit of the doubt', abi?
Again, please, I didn't say the OP should ask his girl to marry him, with all the problems in the air. I said he should talk with her and observe her....BEFORE he pops the question.

Maya4eva:


OpenMine, I must say I'm impressed with the way you took the time to dissect and reply to every segment of my response.
First of all, this isn't a gender thing; merely stated facts.
Secondly, while you're bashing the OP's girl, do you know all the sides to this story?
Thirdly, you heard about 'benefit of the doubt', abi?
Again, please, I didn't say the OP should ask his girl to marry him, with all the problems in the air. I said he should talk with her and observe her....BEFORE he pops the question.

I must say without hesitation that I applaud ur matured response.....

My reason for implying that you were playing the gender card was written all over ur last comment....Objectivity is the line of action based on evidence or proof!
In this case the proof is the flirtatious chats which op saw...

Secondly,I never bashed her.....I only said what the op said based on his evidence....if indeed he saw flirtatious back to back messages from her to other guys,then its simply implies that she is secretly having an affair with some one else!
What is wrong is wrong and mustn't be condoned by anyone!
flirting is a recipe for having an affair!
Unless you believe that its normal to be flirtatious....
Would you say nothing if you saw ur partner flirting with another lady?

Thirdly,I do believe in benefit of doubt....however,I don't really know the kind of explanation that she will offer the op because it too obvious that someone was flirting with her and instead of being matured by putting a stop to such distraction,she still encouraged the guy to keep flirting.....
Give such acts a moment and Its only a matter of days before they jump into bed and start having sex!

I understand ur reason for supporting her.....but based on the chats that the op saw,there is no reason not to conclude that she was already enjoying the flirtatious chats!
I may be wrong but that's what is playing out!

Dami12345:


You are right, he should wait till he marries her and finds out like this guy, but of course you will say he still didn't catch her naw, maybe its a miracle.

where did u get this picture from?
It's really funny

bentenny:



OMG
So based on your assertions,flirting is now normal and cool as long as there is no cheating going on?
Haven't you heard of the saying that "words are actions in rehearsal"?
Once flirtation starts,an affair brews and cheating is inevitable!
Or don't you abide by your Personal text: "if you dont want the devil, stay away from his shore!"?

If the lady wants to flirt,let her free the guy,end the relationship and keep flirting around whether innocently or in a guilty way!
But as long as she is in a serious relationship,she should respect her man and respect herself by not giving other guys a reason to believe she is single and searching!

If she can do such in a relationship,imagine what she will do when she gets married!
Smh



Totally wrong and bad advise!
If you want to be flirtatious when bored,please do it with your bf! Simple!
That's selfish nah!

Are you a barrister? You are very intelligent bro

FatherJP:




Guy, the thing vex you no be small. You mean you saw where your existence was denied ?


Girls sha get mind andi like your style. You didn't bother confronting her to hear lame excuses and all that, you just axed it as e dey hot. Kudos bro, you are a real man.

U can day that again. She is always going through my phone and that night, I decided to go through hers. I felt bad. She was like, 'I can explain', I told her off that there was no need for that. I den ended it by telling her that sin e she denied my existence, she doesn't exist where I am too. I didn't look back. I'm happy I did.

Respect55:

U can day that again. She is always going through my phone and that night, I decided to go through hers. I felt bad. She was like, 'I can explain', I told her off that there was no need for that. I den ended it by telling her that sin e she denied my existence, she doesn't exist where I am too. I didn't look back. I'm happy I did.

I just saw your signature, you do not practise what you preach.



You did the right thing bro.

FatherJP:




I just saw your signature, you do not practise what you preach.



You did the right thing bro.

Not in this case bro. This kind of gal can't be faithful to her husband. This is divine revelation.

Won ti bale ayeje