Am in this with you my brother. I don't think she is into this attitude alone. She must have had some friend with this selfish character. But I thank God for the exposure. That's what i can say about her. On the other hand, you too have a problem. You are allowing the mundane achievement (house = sand, wood and water) to create a crack in your marriage. God's own instruction of sanctity. If you love her more than the house, take her and her error as you personal cross. You must be man enough, if you are the 'husband' carry your cross. "with man", it may be impossible but not with God. Find a space of forgiveness. Call her, hear her. If she repents, correct her and let God reign in your house. Even if in her name, along as you own her, everything she has is yours. Your marriage is the target of this attack because better and great greatness is about visiting your family. If you could trust and forgive her, she would gain that confidence in you, which is the basis of the divisive suspicions. Be wise. God bless you and your wife.

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

LMAO
This one really got to you.

oloyede252:
some people by force by fire are just trying to add new members to their association. if you know, you know.

I concur

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

it's obvious u are not in good health condition with this ur stupid comment. Must u talk

OP, I really don't care about what two grown ups do emotionally and romantically. If you two no gree anymore then divorce each other.

However what you suggested to her as in putting the property only in your name is fraud.

Madam, please don't let him browbeat you into doing that.

It makes no sense.

sisisioge:


You apparently interposed some facts there...maybe you should read his post again. Cheers.

1. She got the property (landed) - One
2. She did the paper works - Two
3. She started building - Three

4. He spent it on his Dad's ailing health
5 Used the the remaining cash to complete the house they both had agreed to equally build after she has built the most part.
6 Since the almost completed building required little funds to complete, he spent it on his parents' house

[s]4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house[/s]

What would you (being the man) have done in such a situation?

An illness that requires being flown out should be considered serious and for me, treatment should be top priority

folly22:
You told her to get out. She knew you right from time. This is how she would have been homeless and begging to come back to the house she built with her money

Exactly.
She knew the man can try something like that.

@heseesall , I stand with you, make sure u don't change the name.

And some nairaland males will hop on this thread and support this "husband" cos they see every marital issue as males vs females SMH.

Please guys say the truth and shame the devil! Women are human beings for crying out loud!

Na wa o. Well, let me say this:

While I don't fault you for using the money for your parents, I partially do for asking her to leave the house, since you knew that you didn't build it with your money ONLY.

Now, your wife truly knows how to cook-up a story. She neglected to mention that she insulted your family, a very serious offense in my book. I know I won't take it easy with any woman that insults any member of my family (that's why your action may be a bit justified, because it was probably said in the heat of anger).

But seriously, I see no reason you shouldn't have seen the documents before now. No excuse is justifiable!

I retract my comment in the previous post.

Get out of the house is not the issue but lack of understanding many of us have told our loved once things more harsh than that. I suggest you reflect on how you both started the first love and the future of your kids more people have faced chaallenges greater than this in marriage BRO don't give up thou is not easy but think of what you both can achieve especially your kids.

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

Home breakers everywhere

tartarus:
And some nairaland males will hop on this thread and support this "husband" cos they see every marital issue as males vs females SMH.

Please guys say the truth and shame the devil! Women are human beings for crying out loud!

If that house wasn't in that woman's name, by now she will be on her knees with her whole family begging this man. FACT!

Jackbell17:
Am in this with you my brother. I don't think she is into this attitude alone. She must have had some friend with this selfish character. But I thank God for the exposure. That's what i can say about her. On the other hand, you too have a problem. You are allowing the mundane achievement (house = sand, wood and water) to create a crack in your marriage. God's own instruction of sanctity. If you love her more than the house, take her and her error as you personal cross. You must be man enough, if you are the 'husband' carry your cross. "with man", it may be impossible but not with God. Find a space of forgiveness. Call her, hear her. If she repents, correct her and let God reign in your house. Even if in her name, along as you own her, everything she has is yours. Your marriage is the target of this attack because better and great greatness is about visiting your family. If you could trust and forgive her, she would gain that confidence in you, which is the basis of the divisive suspicions. Be wise. God bless you and your wife.

Easier said than done my brother!


Do you know how betrayed he is feeling? Why didn't she inform him from the onset that she bought the property in her name? Was she expecting him to abandon his family and his parents? Was she expecting him to abandon his father when he was ill?

You see, the issue though may be triggered by property but it goes beyond it. It is now a matter of betrayal of trust and treachery.

The sensible thing for him to do is to allow her have the house and get his own (for his family). She can move in with him if she wishes...

Marvel1206:

1. She got the property (landed) - One
2. She did the paper works - Two
3. She started building - Three

4. He spent it on his Dad's ailing health
5 Used the the remaining cash to complete the house they both had agreed to equally build after she has built the most part.
6 Since the almost completed building required little funds to complete, he spent it on his parents' house

[s]4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house[/s]

What would you (being the man) have done in such a situation?

An illness that requires being flown out should be considered serious and for me, treatment should be top priority

No one is saying he shouldn't have spent on his family, all I'm saying is that he should be very fair by putting his mouth where his money is! I'm guessing the eventual contribution is around 85% to 15%...why in the world would he want his name alone on the deed? Pure greed ...pure undiluted fraudulent greed! He should go and lay claim to his parent's house, after all, he built it.

.

You reek of pride!!!! I pity that woman if she allows herself fall victim of your stupid sob story

When you try to explain yourself but still end up sounding ridiculous anyways. Your thread proves to us that your wife is right. Drop your ego, it won’t get you far in life.

Biggest downfall of a man is his ego. It blocks so many blessings, and it’s blocking yours. You’re blessed and you don’t even know it smh.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

Trash

tartarus:
And some nairaland males will hop on this thread and support this "husband" cos they see every marital issue as males vs females SMH.

Please guys say the truth and shame the devil! Women are human beings for crying out loud!

Pls this is not about male Vs female.

If my sister do this I will scold her. If she must build in her name what stops her from informing her husband FIRST?

She is not a straightforward woman

@op your wife said the same thing you are claiming to 'expose' ..You are really a very wicked,proud and self-centred fellow from your write-up....Your wife was wise enough to put her name on a project she clearly contributed more to,that is why your 'leave-my-house threats suddenly became a joke..

.Your subsequent insistance on her changing the names on the papers to yours ALONE smacks iof massive fraud

Grow up and go fix your martiage..stop trying to distabilise the life of your kids!

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

feed a woman for 50 years, no one will know, she feed u for one day, the whole world will know, he has taken a manly decision, he should relocate to a far state and rebuild his ego, his new home and leave the nagging woman, who reminded him of his poor parents and conditions.

he should let her be.... I love being a man.

utenwuson:
feed a woman for 50 years, no one will know, she feed u for one day, the whole world will know, he has taken a manly decision, he should relocate to a far state and rebuild his ego, his new home and leave the nagging woman, who reminded him of his poor parents and conditions.

he should let her be.... I love being a man.

Really??..and do you know the number of women feeding their husbands??....I dislike broken marriage except on grounds of domestic violence,but if the selfish man insists,i hope his wife stands strong and moves on with her life..

The man on the other hand should do well to stay single and not saddle any other woman with his idiosyncrasies

She caused the quarrel with her insecurity, lack of trust, insulting your parents. That last one is a NO NO. You have the right to be angry.

However, when it comes to that property, it is hers. You used your own share of the money to take care of your father which is very good. You also used part to complete your parent's house. Then contributed the rest to finish the house. What you used your own share of the money for are commendable. Very commendable. I will advise you to forget that property. You are wrong in demanding that she give up that property.
If she has apologized and you still love her, take her back but don't live in that house. As a man, you need to live in a house where you have control. Wish you the best

sisisioge:


No one is saying he shouldn't have spent on his family, all I'm saying is that he should be very fair by putting his mouth where his money is! I'm guessing the eventual contribution is around 85% to 15%...why in the world would he want his name alone on the deed? Pure greed ...pure undiluted fraudulent greed! He should go and lay claim to his parent's house, after all, he built it.

Did she inform him from the onset that she bought the property in her name? She fraudulently concealed it and rubbed it on his face years after.

PS: He said she should keep the apartment, I'm sure he'll get a place for the family...

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

That's exactly what i suffered in my own marriage wife betrayal, you give someone all your heart then she do thing secretly

sisisioge:


Thank you o my brother! It is funny how irrational people strongly believe in their rationality! And to think he has boldly stood in front of his people, her people and everyone they both knew claiming "my house"! Chai! I'm shocked

Maybe he should have bn screaming "sisoge's house" Now her marriage is about to hit the rocks, hope u an more e in with her in that house.
Nonsense

sisisioge:


Thank you o my brother! It is funny how irrational people strongly believe in their rationality! And to think he has boldly stood in front of his people, her people and everyone they both knew claiming "my house"! Chai! I'm shocked

Maybe he should have bn screaming "sisoge's house" Now her marriage is about to hit the rocks, hope u an move in with her in that house.
Nonsense

What is wrong with this nigga, you're bringing your family issues to Nairaland like it's some sort of divorce court. Swallow your foolish pride and fix your marriage.

Mr. Man, you are very deceptive. I won’t buy your lies. I know the game you were playing on your woman. My dad did play that same game on my mother, until she wised-up.

You used your part to take care of your dad and used the rest to build a home for your parent and still expect to be treated as co equal in the real estate? Others can lie to you to inflate your ego, I won’t. You did tell her to leave the house, mistake number one. We wouldn’t be talking about this this way today, if she was dumb and stupid not to have used her name. The lady would be on the street today with no where to go. You’re here telling us it was a joke. Stop lying. I believe you have an affair. You want to push her out, bring in another lady and treat her like a fool.

She was wise and thank God for that. My dad did the same thing to my mother. He will use her cars, trash them and still push her out. She built a house, he drove her out, sold the house and messed her up. Finally, she got some common sense, built another house and gave me the documents as her first son. That he couldn’t take. My dad was like take my mums money, squandered them on the other woman and still come to trash her.

Ladies, please be wise! Imagine he saying she should change the documents to his name ONLY. Thief. Ole. Be a man, go build a house, bring them all in there. Let her rent her house for investment purposes. The true test of your love for her is to do this and prove to her, your kids and US that you truly love your FAMILY!

Don’t deceive this man to deceive the wife. God is watching you all!

pocohantas:


If that house wasn't in that woman's name, by now she will be on her knees with her whole family begging this man. FACT!

Of course! How can he even say "he didn't know the property wasn't in his name" did he sign any documents?
He was looking for a free ride since he believes women are responsible for building 99% of the home, I wonder why his mother or sisters didn't build his father's house.