praxs:
Its not yet confirmed but we are suspecting pregnancy. I am 28yrs of age and my girl is 22years. We started dating not too long. We made love sometime last month and she missed her perioed. We used strip and it shows she is pregnant. We will go for a proper test today to confirm. Now here are the issues disturbing me:

A: She wants abortion but I don't want that: she's a student, hence keeping it will be complicated for her.

B: I have been thinking of ways to convince her but she's adamant, abortion is the best for her. Please more ideas for me on how to convince her. And if I successfully convince her to keep the pregnancy, how do we go about this?

C: Both of us come from a very strick family.

D: I am still thinking of how to report myself to her family. I could end up in police station tho. Do I go straight to see her parents (suicidal), do I go tell their pastor so we could find a way to break it to her parents. Do I go tro her parents siblings?

What is just the best way to report myself?

I need your advice's urgently please, coz we are doing the test this afternoon.

adetoroamos:
tell her to find the solution herself.

PrecisionFx:



Fornication is a right to all, Bible supports it as long as its between unmarried people.

Jazmiynne:


May you be blessed my brother. I had closed the thread when I saw the initial comments urging on the abortion but my conscience wouldn't permit to leave without seeing that the guy had gotten some form of good advice. Thanks for this.

Praxs, at 28 you are not a baby and men your age marry wives who are in school. In every university (government owned at least, make I for talk the ones I sure) in Nigeria, female students carry pregnancy successfully without failing. She's not in secondary school.



Plus, as shown in your earlier post in January, you have a job to hold forth a modest home.

You can help her to carry the child in honour by putting a ring to it if you'd like to spend a life with her as your wife. You have known of the pregnancy very early, so quickly inform both families so an impromptu arrangement can be made for marriage can be made. No need to call too many people. But your babe will have more boldness carrying that child with a ring (not engagement o, wedding ring).

Man up and cater for your new home and may Jehovah bless you for refusing to commit murder as a convenient option. If you and/or your woman are in Lagos, please send me a PM.

Originalsly:
Bro.... do you want to raise a bastard? If you don't mind...fine. If not....why claim the pregnancy? Are you sure you are the one responsible?...dating for one month and she is 4 weeks pregnant...did the strip indicate she is 4 weeks pregnant? ....helloooo?..is anyone at home? It is not easy for a woman to decide to have an abortion...especially if she has religion....and despite the guy almost always pushing her to do it. Now here you are.... begging her not to do it....ready to face her people and stand up for her... but.....she is adamant.... determined to have the pregnancy aborted. Why? ... I'm almost sure she knows you are not responsible. You said your piece...let her be...just don't be an accomplice. If she wants to....let her do it on her own.

CSTR1005:
When you dey fycck am, you no remember us.

See the way you want to spoil this small girl's life.

A girl that is supposed to be buried deep in her books, trying to be the best she can be, but instead is busy collecting unprotected diccks.

Make una continue.
I met a Yoruba lady today in her late 20s, who was selling cooked noodles. She is very pretty and very intelligent but didn't have anyone to send her to school.

Some girls have someone to send them to school and they waste the opportunity.

Olabestonic001:


Tell her she's playing with future blocked tubes.

kushercain:


Chairman you keep talking about bringing up a child as if it is impossible, so what the op is 28? And so? Have you not heard of a hustling teenager who brought up a child without help from anybody? Sure it wont be easy but that's life for you, you face the consequence like a man and brace the storm why do you keep hammering on abortion If your mom had popped the pills you are suggesting the young girl pops you wouldn't be here typing this terrible advice.

@op whatever you do don't inform her people without her knowledge talk to her. She has her valid reasons weigh your choice well because things will never be the same again. Αll the best

MarieSucre:


Praxs might be 28 but the girl is a 22 year old student who doesn't want the baby and wants to stay in school in peace. Stop acting like its only one person in the relationship.

praxs:


Nemesis? Could you explain further

2odd:

Boss u are kinda wrong o,it's their Baby , if anything should go wrong during the abortion the guy will be held accountable ,. The decision to abort is not solely hers to make

Netanyahu1:
She might think she's too young to be married and be a student at the same time. But tell her that if she takes it off , she might regret it down the line.

okwusdidi:
I have a friend who would have been aborted,but the mother being a stunch catholic refused saying it'd again st her faith Even when the pregnancy was dangerous to her health.Luckily even against the expectations of the doctors she gave birth to him.Today he is married and is a big boy..He is so greatful to his mother and keeps telling his story to everyone. You do not know what that child would be.May be he would be the one to find the cure for AIDS which claims the lives of 2 persons every minute or he could end up tlike that my friend who is now the pillar of his family.Let her know this and the fact the their are alternatives to abortion and also the fact fact that abortion is murder.Let her go for scan,so that she can see her baby move in her womb.Finally be prayerful.

MarieSucre:


The op might be 28 but the girl is 22, and she doesn't want the child because she does not want to dedicate 3 compulsory years of her life to raising a child when she can instead be in school.

oolongtea:


boy, how old are u? u have to learn to stop embarrassing yourself.. he should get her mother's number without her consent and talk your quoted trash. "her mother" "my people". once this child is here, mother becomes the girl in question here who does not want this child and father becomes this 28yr old who is obviously unprepared to be a father but is carried away with the wishful euphoria of the idea of having a cute newborn without factoring in cold hard facts into what it takes to bring a child here and how life will NEVER be the same after this and all the risk and all that could go wrong that one has to accept as far as a newborn is concerned.
this "her mother" you're talking of, maybe your nigerian parents traumatized u so u cant understand the concept of adult independence but everybody lives it. this girl's life will not revolve around her mother's sentiments and the responsibility this dude is foolishly jumping into without properly weighing will not be eased by her mother's moans and sighs in future. and the level of disrespect for this girl to suggest he should contact her mother without her consent. u obviously dont respect women and u are not very bright. if u were, u would weigh in the tremendous responsibility of parenthood and realize that if something this serious is attempted to be done by cutting corners with the number 1 person involved, then it wont end well for anyone and it's a sign to abort mission. it's like russia planning a war that vladmir putin knows nothing about, it will backfire. stop underestimating the importance of what this girl chooses to do about this.

u know what life is like for the average nigerian. imagine that life with a mother who hates u from her whole heart. u ppl have to be careful the advices u give and the spiritual consequences it will have in the long run. bringing innocent souls here that will curse the ones who brought them into such an unfair circumstance and u'll be somewhere saying but your hands are clean while life fvcks u shege. u'd probably pee yourself in joy if given a south african visa just so u can escape nigeria yet here u are suggesting an unstable 28 yr old boy should usher in a baby into a hard life with a 22 yr old girl he's dated for a very short time who absolutely does not want the pregnancy.
i am yet to see one of the keep-the-baby crusaders ask this boy what he does, how much he earns, what his living condition is like, the distance b/w him and the gf, what his realistic plans are for this child, if he plans to marry the mother, if the mother wants to marry him, if he does not plan to marry the mother.. who does he think will, if he loves the child so much why is he ok with the possibility of another man raising him if the mother marries someone else, what are their genotypes, has it ever crossed his mind the child could be born disabled, does he have a child-friendly environment to raise a child in the current nigerian climate(corruption, sexual abuse, kidnaps)

just goat-ish sentimental advices of keep it that wont matter in the long run and will keep everyone miserable and always hoping. the way u think is not what works and the ones who built countries that u would love to go to wouldnt have such great countries if they refuse to apply logic like u. why didnt u suggest he transfer the pregnancy to the girl's mother so he can kuku leave the girl out of the whole thing since u're already suggesting he leave her out of it when she can literally not be left out of it except she gets an abortion. mtchew

Jazmiynne:


The girl is 22 and so?

I don't even understand how that makes her a baby. Once you're old enough to have consensual sex, you are automatically old enough to bear the consequences.

A cousin got pregnant at 18, she and the guy loved each other and they got married. They current have 3 beautiful kids and are all over each other - she's currently 23.

Pregnancy doesn't make anyone stay in school "in pieces". I would have been worried if she wasn't already in school, maybe seeking admission or so. It's 2018, pregnant ladies even without support of their men, are moving on successfully with their lives AND their babies.

The question we should be asking is "Why REALLY doesn't she want the baby?" Op can't answer that cos he probably doesn't know which is why I have requested that he send a PM.

So at which point am I behaving like there's only one person in the relationship?

Jazmiynne:


Babe it's year 2018. People who REALLY want an education no longer have to leave school to spend "3 compulsory years" raising a child.

And for goodness sake stop making 22 seem like a kid. People have attained some good stuff to their names at exactly that same age. She is NOT a baby.

MarieSucre:


She is 22 and she does not want to spend her mid-20's raising a child.

Because a cousin did it did it does not mean it is a STANDARD for everybody.

My mother also was advised to abort me because she was hypertensive and had also developed some other pregnancy complications that would have taken her life. She opted to keep me and luckily she pulled through.

But I will NEVER EVER use that as an excuse to advice people to keep a baby. My mother was lucky and she was also MARRIED and had the love and support of her husband, a lot of other women die on the hospital bed or do not have the support of a man in their lives. Stop trying to guilt women to make decisions they don't want to make because of your anonymous cousin.


Its clear you didn't read the write up. The girl does not want to keep the baby because she is a student. Gbam!

ennon92:
exactly....[Mother of Brazilian soccer star reveals she considered abortion] is good,have a look at it! https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/mother-of-brazilian-soccer-star-reveals-she-considered-abortion-11151

MarieSucre:


But she doesn't want to HAVE A BABY and HAVE AN EDUCATION at the same time period. She wants to do one and then do the other. What is so hard to understand about that people.

praxs:


Nemesis? Could you explain further

praxs:
Its not yet confirmed but we are suspecting pregnancy. I am 28yrs of age and my girl is 22years. We started dating not too long. We made love sometime last month and she missed her perioed. We used strip and it shows she is pregnant. We will go for a proper test today to confirm. Now here are the issues disturbing me:

A: She wants abortion but I don't want that: she's a student, hence keeping it will be complicated for her.

B: I have been thinking of ways to convince her but she's adamant, abortion is the best for her. Please more ideas for me on how to convince her. And if I successfully convince her to keep the pregnancy, how do we go about this?

C: Both of us come from a very strick family.

D: I am still thinking of how to report myself to her family. I could end up in police station tho. Do I go straight to see her parents (suicidal), do I go tell their pastor so we could find a way to break it to her parents. Do I go tro her parents siblings?

What is just the best way to report myself?

I need your advice's urgently please, coz we are doing the test this afternoon.

Jazmiynne:


Oh dear...

First read my initial post, no where did I mention my cousin as reason why the Op and his babe should keep their child. I did say the child should be kept because abortion is MURDER and brings displeasure to our creator.

However when YOU mentioned the girl's age as hindrance, that's when my cousin's story came in - not as 'standard' practice but as an illustration to explain to YOU (not the Op) that age 22 is not a hindrance to the child being kept i.e. It is not impossible.

And yes, I DID read the write-up. If being a student is her only reason for not wanting to keep the child, that's exactly why she needs to be advised to see that it is doable to keep her child and still finish her education.

Plus, if she didn't want to spend her mid 20's raising a child, she should have shut her legs tight.

Jazmiynne:


No dear. You don't get to eat your cake and still have it.

If she wanted that orderly life, she'd have closed her legs. People don't breathe in pregnancies as air, it's not a communicable condition and it doesn't fall from heaven.

People who want their lives in a certain way, make CONSCIOUS decisions towards the actualisation of that reality.

She wasn't raped. They had consensual sex and without a condom. Need I say that she had sex with a guy who doesn't know the meaning of "Nemesis"?

When a person decides to go about their life without mapping out standards for the life they want, they get the life they create. And then they should wake up and deal with it.

pocohantas:
I honestly do not support involving her parents without her consent. That would be blackmailing her into keeping the baby.

An uncle pulled that stunt with a girl years back. She kept the baby and they got married. For years she kept reminding him how he disorganised her life. She hated him so much.
After those years, she left him.

She has to make that decision herself.
It is funny that some ladies would be hell bent on aborting with/without the prospective father's consent, but when they decide to keep it against his wish, he must be ready for fatherhood or else!