His sistas want somebody dey can control. if d guy loves u he wil try 2reach u bt al dese absentee bf are full of drama

OlaoChi:


You shouldn't be too quick to say the guy is a dummy without a mind of his own. He is based abroad, it is those at home that know how to identify good girls at home. Besides so he should not trust his family? Do you know their bond?

Tell them o, who knows how was sponsored to travel, nawao!

They got the dress you said No, they said yould stay with mother in law you said No.

How many other Nos did you say. And how did you say the Nos. There are many ways to say No. Some mildy showing no offense smiling while you are not pleased just to get what you want, the another Saying it and showing you are mad and that makes you look mean and they see you as a demon.

Anyways I'm sorry for judging. The deed is done already move on and Know how to relate with future in-laws.

In-laws are one important part of a Union. They can make things good or bad for one. be careful

OlaoChi:


You shouldn't be too quick to say the guy is a dummy without a mind of his own. He is based abroad, it is those at home that know how to identify good girls at home. Besides so he should not trust his family? Do you know their bond?

You sound like you are same type of person with the guy in question if you are a guy, so just making an excuse for your not being able to make up ur mind nd allowed to be tossed about; or if you are a female, you are in the same class of the sisters who wouldn't just allow their brother be all coz they feel threatened by the lady hence they/you are selfish.
For God's sake, what else do you want to learn or know about the lady that you haven't known after 3 years of dating, and all of a sudden she is no more a wide material

the 2 of them are stoopid, anyone who marries any of them is in trouble;

man is controlled by his mother and sisters
woman is coming to nairaland to take advice from strangers

which is worse?

are these not stoopid people?

His sisters might have just saved him from the hand of a manipulator. many ladies re naturally possessive, if theirs doesn't count they will not be happy at all. so sister I will advise u to amend ur ways incase u find sum1 else. #truth is bitter.


many Nigeria men suffer in de hand of Nigeria women wen de take dem to USA, most especially wen de woman is a nurse. so every family wants to me very carefully in selection. not marrying today divorcing 2mao lyk tiwasavage

CSTR1005:
See as this lady humble, and looking desperately for solution.

She would do anything right now for his ring.

That is what happens when a man is single with money.

sir you said it all......this is what happens when you are fucking rich Lolzz she will even wait for extra 5years for the ring

@boss13.......clemz85.......

God bless the both of you...................when she travels abroad now...you will see her change.....

If this guy is not abroad this girl would have moved on since.................

My dear move on dat is not de end of ur life.
Is better you have problem with the guy in person dan his parents and sister's.
I pray God give you a man dat wld appreciate,love and care for wu you re

Beke2020:
Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my ID.

I am very hurt. My wedding was supposed to take place last Saturday but it was called off without any explanation.

I met my man through my mother’s friend based aboard three years ago. We had our marriage introduction 2016 and we planned the wedding for April 2017 but sister was like we should postpone it reason is that for the brother to come down to Nigeria that the UK embassy don’t take absent of a spouse because they wanted to do it in his absent.

He begged me to wait that I should please bear with him it was not easy for me because already I have told people about my wedding and the date.

My ex has four sisters and they are kind of very close so involved them in everything he wants to do which I don’t have problem with that.His mum accepted me and me I love her took care of her like my mother even the sister who is out of marriage is staying with her mum with four children I love her too.

Fast forward to when the date was pick which is 25 of August that we started having issues.

It was his sisters that shopped for my wedding things which I complain that I don’t like the color ,they said the list I gave them was too expensive which is the hall and food ,I got a hall of #160 they got a hall of #300k near their house not even the bride side I never complain ,they said after the wedding I will stay with mother in law and sister which I said no due to distance and the nature of my work.

The worst of all that happened is that my ex was telling his sisters every thing we discussed both the argument and my chat he was forwarding it to them. His sister in Nigeria was telling them all manners of lies against me and they believed her.

They put pressure and fear on him not to marry me he has to call off the wedding after buying things for the wedding. He is around in Nigeria now and I try to see him but his family are refusing me seeing him because I don’t have his Nigeria ‘s no.

I was told that he said he love me but he scared based on what they told him. That I am not a wife material. That I will control him and drive him out because he stays in US.

My mother has been begging them but they refuse to listen.
He even blocked me since then. His cousin told me they already found another girl for him.

What do I do,I dated this guy for three years. I love him. I already have done introduction. Everybody knows I am supposed to be getting married. The scandal is killing my parents.If this guy still loves me,how do I win him back? He never gave a chance to explain myself. What did I do wrong?

Or should I really move on? After three years? Where do I start from?



https://livelystones.com.ng/after-planning-our-wedding-for-3-yearsthey-say-i-am-not-wife-material/

thank God he left, he's lucky he missed a control freak. oya goan marry urself na, sebi y'all claim not to depend on men.... lolzzzz

Ah! You want to marry a man with no mind of his own? Better be glad it ended before marriage, cos I assure you, his sisters will gang up and beat you, with him being unable to do anything about it. That's not a man, please try to move on, its hard but doable, take heart you hear? Ndo.

Beke2020:
Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my ID.

I am very hurt. My wedding was supposed to take place last Saturday but it was called off without any explanation.

I met my man through my mother’s friend based aboard three years ago. We had our marriage introduction 2016 and we planned the wedding for April 2017 but sister was like we should postpone it reason is that for the brother to come down to Nigeria that the UK embassy don’t take absent of a spouse because they wanted to do it in his absent.

He begged me to wait that I should please bear with him it was not easy for me because already I have told people about my wedding and the date.

My ex has four sisters and they are kind of very close so involved them in everything he wants to do which I don’t have problem with that.His mum accepted me and me I love her took care of her like my mother even the sister who is out of marriage is staying with her mum with four children I love her too.

Fast forward to when the date was pick which is 25 of August that we started having issues.

It was his sisters that shopped for my wedding things which I complain that I don’t like the color ,they said the list I gave them was too expensive which is the hall and food ,I got a hall of #160 they got a hall of #300k near their house not even the bride side I never complain ,they said after the wedding I will stay with mother in law and sister which I said no due to distance and the nature of my work.

The worst of all that happened is that my ex was telling his sisters every thing we discussed both the argument and my chat he was forwarding it to them. His sister in Nigeria was telling them all manners of lies against me and they believed her.

They put pressure and fear on him not to marry me he has to call off the wedding after buying things for the wedding. He is around in Nigeria now and I try to see him but his family are refusing me seeing him because I don’t have his Nigeria ‘s no.

I was told that he said he love me but he scared based on what they told him. That I am not a wife material. That I will control him and drive him out because he stays in US.

My mother has been begging them but they refuse to listen.
He even blocked me since then. His cousin told me they already found another girl for him.

What do I do,I dated this guy for three years. I love him. I already have done introduction. Everybody knows I am supposed to be getting married. The scandal is killing my parents.If this guy still loves me,how do I win him back? He never gave a chance to explain myself. What did I do wrong?

Or should I really move on? After three years? Where do I start from?



https://livelystones.com.ng/after-planning-our-wedding-for-3-yearsthey-say-i-am-not-wife-material/

My dear move on now is easily said than done. The guy was not man enough! Think he is the one that is not a man material! Don't beg again ,stop it chase it shows you lack self worth and your family begging him and his family is bad omen on you and your family!
All I can see here is you being afraid and ashame of what people will say. My dead let anybody say what they wanna say,let friend mock you and your family but see beyond your today for it could be for your good tho in disguise... Be your self.. Don't call or pick his call. Stop acting desperate even if you have his number.... Concentrate on your job . Finally don't jump into a new relationship as a way of seeking escape route... For God who says Its not good for one to be alone will surely bring you the right man... Forget America CU's a bad marriage is bad marriage every where . A bad marriage is next to hell no matter the wealth around ... God help you! Amen. Yak aba

You just avoided a ticking time bomb! Your parents should be thankful. Love is whats blinding u, think rationally. If u end up marrying him, it cud be a journey to a miserable married life orchestrated by ur in laws.
Don't worry, dnt mention.

chiommy123:
You should be thanking God

This is the best advice ....that she didn't start anything with this family not complaining now...she should ask those who have seen the picture of the future and still enter into it....God will give her her own bone of her bone In Jesus Name Amen

henrygale:
I think you have just been saved from what you would have termed your worst marital nightmare coz it is clear the siblings and family has a good grip of the guy who seems to be their source of livelihood.
You are seen as a threat who will take away this source of livelihood from them; and funny enough, the guy in question is their dummy and doesn't have a mind of his own.
3years is small and doesn't count compared to a marriage you will regret after forcing yourself into it.
There's always time to retrace ur steps and start again. Take it as one of those mistakes ones does in life and thank God for not ending up with him; the societal issues will definitely come but brace urself up to face dem, and move on with your life.
One of the worst thing in marriage is to be hooked with a man who doesn't have a mind of his own especially when being advised or tossed about by his family.
I wish you luck as you move on.

Yes o

Hello poster,
I'm privileged to read your post and an honor to give you my honest reply. First, you allowed this happen to you by loving a man you haven't been with. Probably because he stays outside Nigeria made you and your family to look like you have no other choice except him. You want to get married to him by all means.

You allowed someone to find a man for you, it's wrong. It should be someone find a woman for a man. And that's why your ex doesn't have any value for you. He sees you as one of those desperate girls who always wish to marry someone staying outside country.

Your mom even went to beg them, beg for what? What manner of act is that. Is it because they are rich made you and your mom loose your values before them? In fact, what is your worth as a woman, go and attach value for yourself and be a lady of intellect. Men will be praying to marry you when you have some value in you.

Most of you ladies think being successful is all about getting married and producing children. You don't even want to work hard and be a boss lady. Look at Linda Ikeji, she became a classic woman to the extent she doesn't want to marry. Do you why? because she doesn't want any man to come and be controlling her wealth and you are there begging for a man to marry you. You are a desperate lazy woman with no respect for yourself. And that's why they rejected you.

First, go and work on yourself. Be productive and I assure you, you will marry the man of your own.

Lizilicious:
How can his sister's detects who he gets married to..
Anyways, just move on.., that son of a bitch is still a todler

shut up already
so your chicken brain cant see the lazy bitch is just a gold digger, Loving him more n the mother even begging. American dreams shattered. How on earth do u do introduction n still waiting for 2yrs for marriage proper n not know the man is not convinced

DilyAtlantis:
Hello poster,
I'm privileged to read your post and an honor to give you my honest reply. First, you allowed this happen to you by loving a man you haven't been with. Probably because he stays outside Nigeria made you and your family to look like you have no other choice except him. You want to get married to him by all means.

You allowed someone to find a man for you, it's wrong. It should be someone find a woman for a man. And that's why your ex doesn't have any value for you. He sees you as one of those desperate girls who always wish to marry someone staying outside country.

Your mom even went to beg them, beg for what? What manner of act is that. Is it because they are rich made you and your mom loose your values before them? In fact, what is your worth as a woman, go and attach value for yourself and be a lady of intellect. Men will be praying to marry you when you have some value in you.

Most of you ladies think being successful is all about getting married and producing children. You don't even want to work hard and be a boss lady. Look at Linda Ikeji, she became a classic woman to the extent she doesn't want to marry. Do you why? because she doesn't want any man to come and be controlling her wealth and you are there begging for a man to marry you. You are a desperate lazy woman with no respect for yourself. And that's why they rejected you.

First, go and work on yourself. Be productive and I assure you, you will marry the man of your own.

spot on

100000000 likes

The lazy bitch is a gold digger

American husband is why she is killing herself and ready to wait for 10yrs. meanwhile that dude might even be in South Africa.

When I read the part that her mother went to beg the dude I knew she was from pauper family without self worth

miracood:
.SISTA U ARE A BUILDING MATERIAL...

Chimo...building materials?

if you're not a wife material ,you're not a wife material.simply put.

Beke2020:
Dear Jzhane,

Please hide my ID.

I am very hurt. My wedding was supposed to take place last Saturday but it was called off without any explanation.

I met my man through my mother’s friend based aboard three years ago. We had our marriage introduction 2016 and we planned the wedding for April 2017 but sister was like we should postpone it reason is that for the brother to come down to Nigeria that the UK embassy don’t take absent of a spouse because they wanted to do it in his absent.

He begged me to wait that I should please bear with him it was not easy for me because already I have told people about my wedding and the date.

My ex has four sisters and they are kind of very close so involved them in everything he wants to do which I don’t have problem with that.His mum accepted me and me I love her took care of her like my mother even the sister who is out of marriage is staying with her mum with four children I love her too.

Fast forward to when the date was pick which is 25 of August that we started having issues.

It was his sisters that shopped for my wedding things which I complain that I don’t like the color ,they said the list I gave them was too expensive which is the hall and food ,I got a hall of #160 they got a hall of #300k near their house not even the bride side I never complain ,they said after the wedding I will stay with mother in law and sister which I said no due to distance and the nature of my work.

The worst of all that happened is that my ex was telling his sisters every thing we discussed both the argument and my chat he was forwarding it to them. His sister in Nigeria was telling them all manners of lies against me and they believed her.

They put pressure and fear on him not to marry me he has to call off the wedding after buying things for the wedding. He is around in Nigeria now and I try to see him but his family are refusing me seeing him because I don’t have his Nigeria ‘s no.

I was told that he said he love me but he scared based on what they told him. That I am not a wife material. That I will control him and drive him out because he stays in US.

My mother has been begging them but they refuse to listen.
He even blocked me since then. His cousin told me they already found another girl for him.

What do I do,I dated this guy for three years. I love him. I already have done introduction. Everybody knows I am supposed to be getting married. The scandal is killing my parents.If this guy still loves me,how do I win him back? He never gave a chance to explain myself. What did I do wrong?

Or should I really move on? After three years? Where do I start from?



https://livelystones.com.ng/after-planning-our-wedding-for-3-yearsthey-say-i-am-not-wife-material/

now if the guy feels scared of u then he should get to know u , like ask for a simple date or an outing , but if ur cousin is right and they already got another woman for him and he's the kind of 21st century idiot that marries anyone mummy brings for him then let the fool go!
it's painful but remember it wasn't only u that wasted 3 years of ur life !!!
he did to and he even wasted money think about that!

in other words try what u can , and remember it's not by force , ull get over it .

Beke2020:
Dear Jzhane,
After three years? Where do i start from?

The scratch.

sorry op..av bin in ur shoes bf too.it still hurts me till date nd I have tried my best move on bt I av erased d word marriage from my dictionary.just pray to God md move on.

henrygale:

You sound like you are same type of person with the guy in question if you are a guy, so just making an excuse for your not being able to make up ur mind nd allowed to be tossed about; or if you are a female, you are in the same class of the sisters who wouldn't just allow their brother be all coz they feel threatened by the lady hence they/you are selfish.
For God's sake, what else do you want to learn or know about the lady that you haven't known after 3 years of dating, and all of a sudden she is no more a wide material

if u feel threaten wit d character of your bros wife 2 be,will u allow it,if u can stop it? everybody want his\her brother to marry,but not a bad wife

If they can be so controlling to the extent of determining your wedding gown and trying to convince you to stay with them

So that they can harass you well


You will be a house girl in your husband's house because you will be severely abused. You better thank God for shutting the door that will have led to your misery and move the fok on

My dear, u just dodged a bullet...pls move on with ur life.

I believe this family will not allow 'that guy take u abroad with him...and since they were insisting that u live with them; they want to be in total control of ur life and marriage...run for life my dear...I know it won''t e easy to get over d shame it might have caused ur parents and d heartbreak...but trust me, it is better than decades of emotional torture...now picture urself living with them and ur husband abroad-what this means is that ur man will never have enough time to get to know u personally, hence, he will be depending on d duo to feed him news about u...and with the kind of hand his mother and sister are showing, it is obvious u will be at heir mercy all d days of ur life if u force ur way into d family.

Plus what do expect from a divorcee 'with 4 kids who now lives at her mum's; all her frustration will be directed at u.

When u have a man who doesn't have a mind of his on and only listens to his mother and sister at every turn; such a man is a ticking bomb in any relationship.


If i may ask...doesn't the guy have a father? Or is d mother divorcee too? If yes is d answer...My dear, i rejoice with u and ur parents.

I'll pretend as if I didn't read the part that said "UK embassy" and assume this story is true. All I can deduce from the story is a low self-esteem girl who sees marriage to an abroad based man she has not seen physically as her only ticket to success. If all she wrote about her man's family is true and she still wants to marry into such family, then her desperation is legendary. A man that gives his people the avenue to resent and disrespect you is one a sensible person flees far from but this one is begging to marry him because she wants abroad husband. The most annoying part of the fake story is where her mother was begging the family to marry her. What kind of stupid desperation is that? She should be thanking her stars that she escaped a miserable union but sadly for girls like these, their achievements are based on marriage.

GloriaNinja:
THE STORY IS NOT COMPLETE BUT ALL I GOT TO SAY IS....



EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON...HE MAY NOT BE THE MAN DESTINED FOR YOU.

Thanks dear.. you are right. There must be definitely something she did that made the sister dislike her at last. The story is one sided. She painted herself the victim here.

You better run for your life,
How can you marry a man like that, are you crazy?
You want to marry dumb dee.
Thank your star, because God loves you,