The title of this write-up sounds like someone who's about to brag, but you are wrong. I never wanted to write and reveal this because it's naughty and personal, but since typing is easy and I love to educate men, I decided to type and share it. Knowledge unshared is a wasted knowledge.


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Number 1

I'm not Mr. Prince Charming. All women seem to want a tall, rich, and handsome man, but what about us who don't have these qualities? Should we commit suicide in 3rd Mainland Bridge? No.

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Number 2

I'll share one or two things about myself and why women love me. I'm not a womanizer, but I like women — I mean it (not for sex).

Am I contradicting myself? No. Despite liking women, I never take nonsense from women. Despite not taking nonsense from women, I'm never abusive, but "kind of" troublesome — in a good way.

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Number 3

Do you remember one of my quotes that says, "Look for trouble, but make sure it's nonviolent"? Yes, that quote is what all men need to adopt.

Since I was born, I have only been in 2 relationships. Why? Because when a woman loves me, she loves me more than the way 1 minute men love tramadol or watermelon.

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Number 4

With this, I became scared to commit because if I break their hearts, they may commit suicide or frustrate other guys in the future.

When a man hurts a woman who loves him, other (future) men will suffer in her hand. Women love revenge. Since I don't want other men to suffer, I had to avoid relationship.

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Number 5

The reason those two relationships didn't work out were "distance and me not always available." Those girls cried, but I didn't give much of a fùck because I love being alone.

We programmers are focused with codes and we don't like relationship stress — we would rather use the time to write codes. Ask my fellow coders like Mark Zuckerberg, Seün Osewa, Bill Gate, and co. We are nerds, so relationships don't freak us. In fact, it freaks us out.

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Number 6

Now, this current one is probably my third relationship, but I haven't approved her yet. Let me share a short story of what happened yesterday.

I sneaked into a relationship with her without official proposal like nice guys do. Oh! Most programmers are nice guys, but I'm the odd one out.

I love women, but I don't waste my time (even if it's 5 minutes) with them. In fact, I don't waste my time with humans in general. The moment I notice I'm about to waste my time, I walk away.

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Number 8

She is preparing for her final year exams. No day passes by without her calling at least 6 times. The love she was developing or has developed for me was getting too much, so I had to quench it by ignoring her.

Unfortunately, in the dating world, when you avoid or ignore a woman, she'll love you more even when she's angry with you.

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Number 9

So, I'm in trouble and I love looking for their troubles. The more I try to make her hate me, the more she loves me. I hate when people love me too much — it gives me no room to offend them.

My motto is: "If you want to love me, keep it moderate and if you want to hate me, the floor is open."

I'll even sponsor you in your hate campaign by giving you more reasons to hate me with passion. At the end of the day, I don't care.

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Number 10

Since I wanted to reduce the love, I stopped picking her calls and decided to message her via sms, not WhatsApp. Each message costs ₦4.00. Below is my chat with her.


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Number 11

This girl is 100% a wife material, but here I am trying to run away because the love is too much. From the chat, you could see she's not happy.

One thing men should know is: it's NOT your job to make a woman happy. Though, it's your job to make her smile.

Even God who created women can no longer make women happy, so why should you? Look at what Robert Mugabe said:

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Number 12

So, your job is to offend women, or make them smile. Being happy is their job, not yours. Have you read our post on 7 reasons you should offend women? See link: https://wetclef.com/topic251.html

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Number 13

This girl doesn't demand and she's a beauty. All she wants is for me to love her back the way she loves me.

I called her one day after a week of avoiding her and she didn't pick. After an hour, I called again and she picked but was sounding unhappy and disinterested.

From her reluctant voice, I said, "What is wrong? Why are you sounding like a roasted pig?" And she absentmindedly replied with, "How do you want me to sound, Dear?" When a woman uses "dear" it means friendzone is near.

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Number 13

Since I have the formula on how humor works, I pressed one or two buttons and she started laughing. You see, women can't hate me for long because I have the key to make them angry and the key to make them smile through their mouth and through their vagina.

These two keys are important — humor and great sex, NOT jokes and good sex.

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Number 14

Since I was busy with something, I wanted to use money to push her away and preserve my time by saying, "I'll send you money to buy chicken or I'll send it so you can use it to buy card — choose one."

"No no no," she said, "I don't need chicken or card. I need you. I want to spend time with you." After two days, I met her in her street while she was going to the library to read for her exams.

It's was 7:30 PM. As I was accompanying her, it started raining, so we stopped at a shop. At the shop, I wanted to buy card but realized it will be better to buy it online. "Do you have credit on your phone?" I asked her. "Yes," she replied.

I gave her 1k to buy more since she's a beautiful liar. What do I mean by liar? She doesn't like demanding, so she'd rather say she has even if she doesn't. That to me, is lying.

It was still raining and there was light everywhere in her street since it's a turbine by Agip, not NEPA.

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Number 15

I bought groundnut and one or two other edibles. Luckily, the rain stopped at 8 PM, so we started walking to the library. I held her hand and periodically spanked her ass as we walked. Whenever she notices I want to spank her, she'll jump to dodge it. I love to spank — it's my hobby.

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Number 16

We got to my street, walked passed my house, but unfortunately, the rain started again, so she said let's go to my house, but I refused. Why? I'm dangerous. How? You won't understand. Let's keep it a mystery.

So, we ended up running into an open kiosk without light. The seller had gone. There was still light in my street, but the kiosk was dark. "I'm wet," she said as she refers to the rain wetting her body, but I spanked her and changed the wet to the other kind of "wet" and she laughed and said no. "I will wear your cap," she said. "No problem," I replied.

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Number 17

One thing led to another and as a veteran in the naughty bad guys zone, I started using my lips to tease her lips.

I'll act as if I wanted to kiss her, but wave it on the other side. "My kiss is not free," I said. "How much?" she asked. "You can't afford it," I replied.

"Tell me the price first na," she insisted. I grabbed her head with my two hands and breathe warm breath into her ear, said some naughty things, and she shuddered — I knew it sent some sweet sensations down her groin and that alone will put her in a hórny mood.

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Number 18

The neck, ear, scapula, shoulder, and earlobe of a woman are very sensitive when teased by a man who knows how they work.

After putting her in the mood, I decided to launch a kiss and she was in paradise. "Let's go to your house," she begged, but I didn't reply.

"I thought you wanted to go read for exams?" I said. "I can read in your room," she replied. "Na to carry belle dey hungry you — bad girl." I said and she denied it, then started laughing — she's so pretty.

We started kissing again and my JT was hard. She touched it and started grinding on it while on clothes. Luckily, the rain stopped at 8:51 PM and we hit the road again.

We got to express and I wanted to put her in a keke, then go back, but decided to accompany her to the library since it's just a 15 minutes walk.

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Number 19

It started drizzling again, but who cares? "Let's just do it," I said in my head. As we were walking on the road, cars were passing left and right and she said, "Carry me on your back."

As Mr. Romantic Lover Man and Mr. Adventure, I carried her. People and vehicles where passing, but we were just doing our thing as if we were in a different world.

I'm the kind of guy who doesn't care what people think as long as I'm enjoying what I'm doing. I love crazy things. (In fact, I can even bang a girl while people watch. I don't even mind swapping.)

As I was walking with her on my back, I was spanking her ass and she was smiling. A particular car flashed light on us so he could watch me spank her ass, but I said in my head, "See this ode — I won't spank again."

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Number 20

After some minutes, I dropped her on the road when I saw a suya joint. I checked, but the suya guy was about closing and I don't buy remnant, so we continued walking and finally saw a bar along the road with Wizkid yelling, "Joy, nothing but joy — every other day I see nothing but joy. When I was a little boy mama told me, boy chase your dreams and the sky will be your beginning," from the loud speaker.

On the other side was a military van and a suya joint with colorful lights everywhere as if it's Christmas. We went to the suya guy, ordered some and got a table as the music plays away.

Men and women were on different tables drinking, smiling, and pressing phone. Maybe, they were on dates, but for me, I don't to "boring dates" I do "naughty adventures."

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Number 21

The library's gate closes at 10 PM and it's already 9: 20 PM. The moment I wanted to sit, a guy rushed and grabbed my chair and I was shocked, then he started cleaning it — maybe it was wet, like Lilian.

In my head, I said, "Just to clean my chair, you almost scared me — maybe this is why there is a military van here because it seems everyone is violent."

I looked at Lilian and said to her, "Heineken will look good in your naughty mouth," and she's smiled. I knew this girl was hórny.

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Number 22

I got up to grab two cans, but they had only bottled ones. I went back to my chair and said to her, "I changed my mind. You're going to the library and I don't want you to go there and start tearing all the books," and she started smiling again. From her dilated eyes, I knew this girl wants to fùck and all these smiles are repressed anger.

The suya came and we started eating. She brought her chair closer to mine, leaned to hug me, then said, "If it's 10 PM and the gate is locked, I'll go with you."

Immediately she said this, I checked my time and it was 9:45 PM. "No, you're going to read," I replied, brought my dollar bill wallet, gave her some money to give the suya guy and use the remainder to buy the one she's eat in class or library.

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Number 23

We paid and I accompanied her. While on the way, she said, "I was almost wet at the kiosk." I smiled and replied, "I know, but Vick is on vacation in London like Buhari," and she laughed. To know about Vick technique, read this book called Mrs. Vicky & Mr. Vick www.shop.wetclef.com/shop/mrs-vicky


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Number 24

In 4 minutes, we were at the gate. Cars and people were still roaming around. Though, not much — just a few people. "Alright, take care," I said. "No," she replied and grabbed me. "Kiss me," she demanded.

"You haven't paid for the other ones I kissed you and you want more — what a greedy woman on debt," I said and she smiled.

I saw a girl on tight leggings walking towards us, so I waited till she's close before kissing Lilian to make the leggings girl uncomfortable, hórny, or jealous.

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Number 25

The moment the girl got close, I passionately kissed Lilian, spanked her ass, pulled away, and started walking away like James Bond.

"I love you," she said. "I hate you," I replied. "I hate you more," she replied again as she smiles, then says, "Please, use a cab," but I replied, "I'll trek — it's part of my religion, so don't worry, Honey."

Finally, I thought of using a cab, but decided to trek because something fun may happen on the road. Guess what? It did, but it's a story for another day. Everything you read is a true story and it happened yesterday.

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Number 26

Lesson:


The next day, I didn't call, but around 6 PM, she called and was sounding happy. Woman love romantic guys who are stubborn, a tease, naughty, humorous, and a hard to get leader.

When you are not always available, a woman will love you and when she's lucky to meet you, she'll value the time more than those clueless nice, needy, and desperate guys who are always available and cheaply throw themselves at her in exchange for sex. (Sex they can't even (naturally) last more than 2 minutes except they use tràmadol or other drügs.)

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Number 27

When you are too available for a woman, you lose your value. Luckily for me, I'm genuinely unavailable to both men and women. My time is precious — not even the most beautiful woman on earth can steal it.

When you yield to a woman's sexual advances easily, you lose your value. When you refuse to yield after too many attempts, she'll soon suspect you, then hate you for rejecting her advances. Women hate rejections because they're not used to it.

They're used to hórny guys worshiping and drooling over them. When they meet people like us (ugly, but skillful) who got the dating game locked, the table turns around and they become the hunter.

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Number 28

She doesn't demand. The reason women demand is because you're not on demand. The more a woman knows you can get other women without spending a dime, the more on demand you become and the more clingy the woman becomes unlike men who try to use money to up their demands.

(Being on demand doesn't mean you need to be handsome or rich, but it means you need to know the game, know how women work, and know the right ESCOFi buttons to press at the right time).

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Number 29

If you use money to up your demand, it means you're not on demand and women will use you as their ATMs.

When they're done digging you, they'll drop you in pieces and you'll end up saying all women are gold diggers, but forgot you were the one who showed them the gold and gave them the shovel.

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Number 30

Why did I write this long article? It's because I want men to learn. Most men use money to find love. These men always get used by women.

Women don't fall in love with money, but with a man. Since this man has money, he flaunts his money and tries to use money to make a woman love him. Even slay queens love a man, not money.

After too many times of using money to make a woman happy and fall in love, she will finally fall in "gold" with the man's money, then starts digging.

At the end, she'll turn to a gold digger. It's not her fault. These men flaunting money and acting rich spoilt these women because they thought money can buy a woman.

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