WritePal:
Many people underestimate the mental, psychological and spiritual skills involved in bringing up children. It's a parent's greatest task and failure on this part is largely responsible for societal problems today.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, yes, but how well is it managed? Some kids are more disciplined, well behaved and cleanliness conscious than others courtesy of their parents who pay attention to small details with wisdom and subtlety.

Be the big example in morality, principles, resolving disputes, cleanliness, keeping to time and your words. They'll cower and fear at your screams and obey your instructions. But they'll more naturally follow in your practical footsteps. Plus you need to be available to watch, observe, correct and teach more.

That's it the last paragraph

Different boarding school will do the magic.

Ko bata bori awon mejeeji

OperaMini1:
Good day people.

IMy kids aged 8.5, and 6 years respectively, fight each other at the least provocation. They fight over who lies down where, who sits where in the car, who uses the toothpaste first, etc.

I came home yesterday and the elder (girl) had a bodily harm inflicted on her by the brother, and which is the second time she's getting a mark from him. As I write this now, they've been both grounded, since that yesterday, no watching of TV, no computer games, just sleep and wake up, eat and sleep again.

I'm not sure how long we'd do this, that's why I'm seeking suggestions on how to stop the fighting madness entirely, thanks.

Obviously this is a parental failure from your end.
If u cant teach a male never to raise his hand to hit a female then something is very wrong with you.

Abuse of any kind should not be encourage and it's all your fault.

Having said all that,talk to both of them,with all seriousness and prefer stiffer penalty to any one of them that disobey the law form your home.

Words like love,thank you,u re d best should be encourage and u will be the one to start it,do I need to tell you no love in your home,please spend time with your kids cos u don't know them.

I am surprised at u running online to seek how u will handle ur little kids. If u cannot handle them now that they are little I wonder what u will do when when they are older. Seriously, parenthood is not for everyone.

OperaMini1:
Good day people.

IMy kids aged 8.5, and 6 years respectively, fight each other at the least provocation. They fight over who lies down where, who sits where in the car, who uses the toothpaste first, etc.

I came home yesterday and the elder (girl) had a bodily harm inflicted on her by the brother, and which is the second time she's getting a mark from him. As I write this now, they've been both grounded, since that yesterday, no watching of TV, no computer games, just sleep and wake up, eat and sleep again.

I'm not sure how long we'd do this, that's why I'm seeking suggestions on how to stop the fighting madness entirely, thanks.

Fighting is part of children activities

Seat them down and explain to them the effects of fighting themselves

Let the girl know that she is growing to be a woman and fighting is not good for her

Let the boy know that real boys don't fight with girls

Start now to keep counselling them about love and care for each other

Mercielove:
I am surprised at u running online to seek how u will handle ur little kid. If u cannot handle them now that they are little I wonder what u will do when when they are older. Seriously, parenthood is not for everyone.

That's why he came online to seek for counsel. Abi no be somewhere person dey learn?

thorpido:
That's why he came online to seek for counsel. Abi no be somewhere person dey learn?

It.should.be before.parenting. it Shows even the parent's ( here meaning the oP) development is.incomplete and the OP's lack of grounded development is being perpetuated to the nest generation. The op can't give what she lacks it.needs to be learnt or received from a different entity entirely. Its a case of total lack of awareness.of.one's condition

OperaMini1:
Good day people.

IMy kids aged 8.5, and 6 years respectively, fight each other at the least provocation. They fight over who lies down where, who sits where in the car, who uses the toothpaste first, etc.

I came home yesterday and the elder (girl) had a bodily harm inflicted on her by the brother, and which is the second time she's getting a mark from him. As I write this now, they've been both grounded, since that yesterday, no watching of TV, no computer games, just sleep and wake up, eat and sleep again.

I'm not sure how long we'd do this, that's why I'm seeking suggestions on how to stop the fighting madness entirely, thanks.

As kids they will fight, but when it gets too often, thats a major concern.

Create a reward system, reward them for not fighting for a week. Get what they like, show them. Tell them you would only give them if they don't fight for a week. Let them make posters together and hang it on the wall - themselves! The posters should read stuff like "No fight for a week".
When they follow through, reward them and over-hype their actions.

Promise them a big thing if they can keep it up for the month.

Also, let them have something fun they do together, a game?

prayer is d master key. midnight by 00.00hr mention their names while praying rebuke d spirit of violence nd let love fill their heart.

bigcasava1:
prayer is d master key. midnight by 00.00hr mention their names while praying rebuke d spirit of violence nd let love fill their heart.

Prayer us harder than training them right.

OperaMini1:
Good day people.

IMy kids aged 8.5, and 6 years respectively, fight each other at the least provocation. They fight over who lies down where, who sits where in the car, who uses the toothpaste first, etc.

I came home yesterday and the elder (girl) had a bodily harm inflicted on her by the brother, and which is the second time she's getting a mark from him. As I write this now, they've been both grounded, since that yesterday, no watching of TV, no computer games, just sleep and wake up, eat and sleep again.

I'm not sure how long we'd do this, that's why I'm seeking suggestions on how to stop the fighting madness entirely, thanks.

Let me share over 40 years experience with you, my sister and I, she's younger though, we quarrelled till she got married self, and afterwards we became great friends, but still throw banters at each other, the actual physical fighting stopped when I was about 18, my father told me, if I continue to beat her, I will beat my wife, that struck me, so I stopped beating her, but she still runs her mouth, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. And that's how I overcame her bad mouth.

I always feels she disrespects me and that's why we fought, she actually taunts me, she started cooking as early as 14 and I was never allowed in the kitchen because of our fights, she would dish food and whisper to me that my meat is the smallest. She did things just to get on my nerves. I loved her though, I remember fighting for her as a teenager, some boys were harassing her, I defended her and got beaten by the boys, but I protected my sister outside. I got home and beat her, because I was beaten by those boys because of her. It was just like that.

I don't think there's anything you can do about siblings rivalry, but ensure it's healthy and they don't hate each other. Teach them to share, you should also share things with them and with their mum in their presence.

My folks and I compete over anything and everything. We had one special spoon we all want to eat with, it had floral designs on it, when the competition became too tense, my mum hid the spoon and bought a set a similar design spoons, we were able to separate one and called it star spoon, and that became our new competition.

Just pray, I love my sisters and brothers, we are all grown now and still share the jokes of our exoberance.

My kids, a boy and a girl rarely fight, I guess the 5 years age gap helped. But I made the boy understand that he must always protect his sister, and whenever she insults him, I make sure I give her stern warnings.

Mercielove:
I am surprised at u running online to seek how u will handle ur little kids. If u cannot handle them now that they are little I wonder what u will do when when they are older. Seriously, parenthood is not for everyone.

The fact that he's seeking help shows he's probably a better father than the mum you'll be.

originalKsp:


As kids they will fight, but when it gets too often, thats a major concern.

Create a reward system, reward them for not fighting for a week. Get what they like, show them. Tell them you would only give them if they don't fight for a week. Let them make posters together and hang it on the wall - themselves! The posters should read stuff like "No fight for a week".
When they follow through, reward them and over-hype their actions.

Promise them a big thing if they can keep it up for the month.

Also, let them have something fun they do together, a game?

Excellent

Cumtroller:
Let them fight. It is survival of the fittest, this is evolution playing out.

I hope your younger child poisions the elder child so peace can reign in your household.

May your hope come to pass in your family in Jesus name. AMEN

Yuceeluv:
you never see anything... They'll be okay...don't worry much...just be more disciplined with them...you sound like an indomie generation kinda mum who doesn't believe in beating.

...grounded in Nigeria abi?no be only grounded na floored.

I would have found u proposed to you then marry u but 4 d ring on ya nose.

I Dnt know much but I can help u with this....

Make them eat from the same plate.... Breakfast , lunch and dinner. Preach love to them. I bet this will help u somehow my friend. They will see one another as one.

LANDLORD72:
Please everyone on Nairaland i want you all to wishes my lovely son Cristiano a happy birthday his 7 years old today please hit Like for my Son And VOTE Atiku for President and share for Atiku Apc Fan please hit like for my cute boy too.

You had to campaign with your son.

kunleweb:



It.should.be before.parenting. it Shows even the parent's ( here meaning the oP) development is.incomplete and the OP's lack of grounded development is being perpetuated to the nest generation. The op can't give what she lacks it.needs to be learnt or received from a different entity entirely. Its a case of total lack of awareness.of.one's condition

I disagree with your submission.

You don't get to know all about parenting before you have kids. You typically get better as you have them and live with them...it doesn't mean one shouldn't know the basics, but no particular parenting style is the best, in summary.

LaExpert:


I disagree with your submission.

You don't get to know all about patenting before you have kids. You typically get better as you live have them and live with them...it doesn't mean one shouldn't know the basics, but no particular parenting style is the best, in summary.

Well you'll learn getting experience before reality is better in.life. you'll learn trust me

kunleweb:



It.should.be before.parenting. it Shows even the parent's ( here meaning the oP) development is.incomplete and the OP's lack of grounded development is being perpetuated to the nest generation. The op can't give what she lacks it.needs to be learnt or received from a different entity entirely. Its a case of total lack of awareness.of.one's condition

You're right about leaving it late but it's not too late to change.
I hope the Op takes counsel.

misano:


It's not normal. We are six in our family & we never fought to put injuries on each others body. That's bad parenting & unnecessary rivalry.

You can't just blame that on bad parenting... Anyway what do I even know..

wisdomkid:


Yours may be different. These ones seems to inflict injuries on themselves.
My sister, threaten to can them or send them to the village.

Wow, that's bad.. Well notwithstanding, they'll be fine.

Children copy things they see easily into their minds.

First ensure you don't quarrel/fight your husband in their presence because if you both do, then it will be very hard to correct them.

Then instil seniority among them. The younger must respect the older and the older must never beat the yonger for any reason.

Any grieviance must be reported to you or your spouse for justice to be melted and make sure you don't take their complaints for granted.

Any defaulter should be dealt with equal punishment and give them time, they will adjust properly.

You are indeed a super mom.

For your long term infection... contact me

thorpido:
You're right about leaving it late but it's not too late to change.
I hope the Op takes counsel.

I hope with you

Samirana360:
hand them over to fSARS

2nd Borns are ����

HarryDuce:


You had to campaign with your son.

Yes i want his future to be gurantee by good governance.

Vtrd:
It is often like that especially between boys and girls who are direct siblings with the girl being older.

They will fight to finish. The girl will want to enforce seniority, while the boy will refuse her authority.

You need to flog the boy more, and put the fear of his sister into him, because nothing else will.

The sister will not be able to control him on her own.

True talk, especially when the age gap is not much.
I and my younger brother fought wella, he didn't allow me rest and I also made him to understand I'm older. I got violent one day and removed his tooth. I was 15 and him 13.

That day marked the beginning of his respect for me He didn't dare try to fight me again but still fought with my elder sister for a long time.

Wao, want to thank you all for the comments above, didn't expect it would come in quite a large number like this. We'd surely adopt some of the suggestions you gave, and thanks for your time.