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My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. - Romance (12) - Nairaland

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by BabaIbo: 9:31am On Dec 21, 2018
mogbojaiye:


Yeah u are right

And it take a very sensible in laws to b neutral wen a disagreement occur bw the wife and d husband, remember say na who first report case they win case, mostly when the lady doesn't write about good report about d husband,

And the truth is many ladies ladies of these days marry because of what they stand to gain from the guy house hold (e people get money, e people day abroad), and not because of love which is just 20% ....dats y any little matter they don run go their papa hux


Correct, that's just it. if you check you go see say the meaning of marriage back then(when our parents got married) and now dey different.

In their marriage, fight happens but them still dey together buy now any small kwata, kasala go burst, you go dey hear divorce up and down

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Dayg88(m): 9:34am On Dec 21, 2018
Nobodys:
being bullied to accept a date you chose?... Lols....

You can't say everyone is at fault except the guys mum, that's not fair.... The guy clearly stated in his various posts on the thread that his mum foot dragged the whole thing and that was why he picked a new date without her consent, cause of her actions toward the initial date picking.....

The mother's reason isn't even reasonable enough, convenience? really?....

my only concern is the mum's attitude, threatening to curse her child, hindering a marriage just because of convenience, says a lot.....

Anyways, let's not drag this anymore....

My reasons for saying that is this, for every reaction, there was an action that provoked it. If the guy had man up earlier, the girl more mature to deal with her feelings, maybe all that would have been left for both parents is to just select a date and everything would be fine. But the guy caused every other person to wanna stamp their opinion in the whole matter and when interests become too much in an issue, it becomes a bigger issue.
But I perfectly understand and agree with you ma'am. Thanks for opening my mind to areas I didn't see.
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by gideonvalor98(m): 9:34am On Dec 21, 2018
3 years is much sha and considering her age but I believe strongly that someone is showing strong interest in her for marriage and is getting to her, which is making her to be considering her options. Sit her down and give her assurance that she is the only one and you're not playing her,that you choose February out of desperation of not loosing her. Earn her trust once more , doing this ,she will be able to convince her parent

2 Likes

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Kclique: 9:37am On Dec 21, 2018
Dogalmighty17:
I have dated this girl for three years. We fixed a date for the wedding for late this year. However, events seemingly out of my control necessitated that I shift the wedding to February next year. Initially, she was against the shift but I pleaded with her.

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out.

I was at a loss on what to do that I had to voice out the issue to her family. When they asked her, she told them that since I requested for a shift in wedding date, she became uncomfortable with the relationship. Her family then told her to call off the relationship. I got to know about this decision and I called her and she said she was going to obey the wishes of her family. Her mom also told me that since I keep complaining about her daughters lack of respect, I should leave her daughter alone. It took serious pleading from me before the family accepted the continuing of the relationship. They asked me that since the date I initially agreed for the wedding wasn't going to be convenient for me, when then do I think will be convenient? Since I didn't want to loose my woman, I mentioned February. The desperation on my path was much.

My mom on the other hand wants a wedding in April. She has said February is not convenient for her. All my pleas have fell on deaf ears. She has threatened not to bless the union and has even gone as far as threatening to curse me with her breasts if I wed in February.

My girl has refused to even entertain the thought of shifting the date again. She maintains that it is better that we outrightly call off the wedding, than shift it again. I understand her fears. She feels that I may just be wasting her time. I am not

This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.

Op, I really wish you read this my comment.
You are a sub-man for wanting to marry a woman on sympathy grounds.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment that should be devoid of emotional sentiment whatsoever, in the phase of that decision making.
Stop whipping unnecessary sentiment.
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by crunchyg(m): 9:38am On Dec 21, 2018
Dogalmighty17:
I have dated this girl for three years. We fixed a date for the wedding for late this year. However, events seemingly out of my control necessitated that I shift the wedding to February next year. Initially, she was against the shift but I pleaded with her.

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out.

I was at a loss on what to do that I had to voice out the issue to her family. When they asked her, she told them that since I requested for a shift in wedding date, she became uncomfortable with the relationship. Her family then told her to call off the relationship. I got to know about this decision and I called her and she said she was going to obey the wishes of her family. Her mom also told me that since I keep complaining about her daughters lack of respect, I should leave her daughter alone. It took serious pleading from me before the family accepted the continuing of the relationship. They asked me that since the date I initially agreed for the wedding wasn't going to be convenient for me, when then do I think will be convenient? Since I didn't want to loose my woman, I mentioned February. The desperation on my path was much.

My mom on the other hand wants a wedding in April. She has said February is not convenient for her. All my pleas have fell on deaf ears. She has threatened not to bless the union and has even gone as far as threatening to curse me with her breasts if I wed in February.

My girl has refused to even entertain the thought of shifting the date again. She maintains that it is better that we outrightly call off the wedding, than shift it again. I understand her fears. She feels that I may just be wasting her time. I am not

This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.
There are a lot of red light glaring at your face but you chose to ignore them, I just pray you don't regret later
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by escapefromusa(m): 9:42am On Dec 21, 2018
1StopRudeness:


na the guy born himself abi? something you yourself cannot do, you are telling another person to do it.
can you just chose date and tell your own parents that's final without carrying your mum and dad along with their own arrangements. You think a wedding ceremony is only about two of you alone. he should kuku ma marry like some whites folks that dont even invite their parents since he doesnt want to be a mummy's boy.


na your kind woman no dey wan see mother in-law or her advice for her matrimonial home.

Na so them be. Any girl that is not happy your close to your mother is a Delilah.

Dirty girls.

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Slimynonny: 9:44am On Dec 21, 2018
1StopRudeness:


na the guy born himself abi? something you yourself cannot do, you are telling another person to do it.
can you just chose date and tell your own parents that's final without carrying your mum and dad along with their own arrangements. You think a wedding ceremony is only about two of you alone. he should kuku ma marry like some whites folks that dont even invite their parents since he doesnt want to be a mummy's boy.


na your kind woman no dey wan see mother in-law or her advice for her matrimonial home.
From the ops story and some of his response here my everything points to his mother. Yes the girl in question may hv an attitude bt thats because she feels insecure because of the date shifting. Ok ask yourself these questions why is his mother refusing to see their in law? Why is she so much in a hurry to curse her son because of date? For all i care and know wedding date would be chosen by the couple in question and then the parents would be notified. Besides parents hv nothing to do with the date their children hv chosen except where the parents are the sole sponsor of the so called wedding. Some mother in laws are a big problem to some daughters in law whom they dont like...
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Slimynonny: 9:57am On Dec 21, 2018
SmilingMary:
Emotionally u r going to suffer if or when u marry that lady.... So many signs trying to tell u not to go ahead with the marriage...
You people that are telling him to quit the relationship keep forgetting that for 3good years they hv been together and no problem. It all started with the shifting of date... Why not tackle the issue at hand and stop beating abt the bush....
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Gent32: 10:13am On Dec 21, 2018
must you marry her
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by shugatee(f): 10:28am On Dec 21, 2018
You really don't know what God is doing for you right now and that's just about it.you should pray about it and let God step in.from a sis to a bro,leave that relationship and stop acting like you'd die if u don't marry her if she's not submissive and the families are in support that her mother would definately control your home.But honestly that's three whole solid years �
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Slimynonny: 10:33am On Dec 21, 2018
mogbojaiye:


There is another guy in d picture already that's why the girl has d boldness to say she wan comot from d 3 year old relationship........op never smart for woman matter
Mr i hv visually seen you in almost everyones quote here. And i ask what if all these your assumptions abt this lady are not true? Hv you heard the lady's side of the story? Why cant the mother voice out her fear to the son without even telling him to leave the girl if there is any thing making her behave that way? Im not supporting the lady even though her attitude was triggered by the change of date bt u must also remember that the guy has his flaws too as no one is perfect. Lasting marriage is not all abt both couple not having flaws bt its all a matter of mutual understanding btw the couple. No marriage is flawless understand that too.
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by fattyG: 10:39am On Dec 21, 2018
Dogalmighty17:
I have dated this girl for three years. We fixed a date for the wedding for late this year. However, events seemingly out of my control necessitated that I shift the wedding to February next year. Initially, she was against the shift but I pleaded with her.

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out.

I was at a loss on what to do that I had to voice out the issue to her family. When they asked her, she told them that since I requested for a shift in wedding date, she became uncomfortable with the relationship. Her family then told her to call off the relationship. I got to know about this decision and I called her and she said she was going to obey the wishes of her family. Her mom also told me that since I keep complaining about her daughters lack of respect, I should leave her daughter alone. It took serious pleading from me before the family accepted the continuing of the relationship. They asked me that since the date I initially agreed for the wedding wasn't going to be convenient for me, when then do I think will be convenient? Since I didn't want to loose my woman, I mentioned February. The desperation on my path was much.

My mom on the other hand wants a wedding in April. She has said February is not convenient for her. All my pleas have fell on deaf ears. She has threatened not to bless the union and has even gone as far as threatening to curse me with her breasts if I wed in February.

My girl has refused to even entertain the thought of shifting the date again. She maintains that it is better that we outrightly call off the wedding, than shift it again. I understand her fears. She feels that I may just be wasting her time. I am not

This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.





whats all dis this?
Ur mum has her reason(s). Let ur mum visit d lady's family and finalise d date issue. I want u 2 know dt u've lost respect on ur intending in-laws. I bliv, date should not bring about disunity between/among u pple. If u tink d lady is over riding u or probably u can no longer tolerate her excesses, pls opt out of d relationship. I pray u dont regret d union If things go out of hand in marriage. It seems her gra gra is too much.
Remember, there are lot of fishes in the ocean. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by aapaul01: 10:39am On Dec 21, 2018
excessmon:
I'm sure u are not more than 18 years old

And so
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by SaturnNick(m): 10:47am On Dec 21, 2018
Dude, it seems you are not in good terms with your mum (dont know the reason sha); Pls try and reconcile with her. And if it is because of the girl or her family, bring them together to settle differences if not, hmnnnn, you are in for a long thing after the wedding.
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 10:50am On Dec 21, 2018
toplinetrtrend:


If you don't know, I don't think I should waste my time enlightening you


K
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Checked86: 10:51am On Dec 21, 2018
Your girlfriend, her mother, your mother (three damn women) on you alone. this is serious case but the solution is very easy.

SOLUTION: BE THE MAN!
The solution is very easy because you didn't commit any crime and you owe none of them nothing but RESPECT and respect is better given to those that respect you and your feelings(you situation as well).

Brother, when somebody presents you with two conditions to choose from, is is rational and expected that you go with the one that favours you the most not the one that would please your your client. Your girlfriend's mother does not respect you if and only if what you wrote up there is anything to go by. your girlfriend also seems not to be projecting your image correctly to her family. It is expected to talk up your spouse before your family and that would create respect. .


MY ADVICE:
Cancel the wedding date and fix it whenever you want and definitely, not in April. Disappoint all of them. be the man.

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Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by zubis05: 10:52am On Dec 21, 2018
Dogalmighty17:


I and my fiancee are sponsoring it ourselves. My mom is not contributing a kobo.

If you really love this girl and you are sure of her love for you, you should think of doing a court marriage in the interim to assuage her fears.
You should only do this if you are sure of wanting to spend the rest of your life with her.
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Nobody: 10:54am On Dec 21, 2018
Slimynonny:
Mr i hv visually seen you in almost everyones quote here. And i ask what if all these your assumptions abt this lady are not true? Hv you heard the lady's side of the story? Why cant the mother voice out her fear to the son without even telling him to leave the girl if there is any thing making her behave that way? Im not supporting the lady even though her attitude was triggered by the change of date bt u must also remember that the guy has his flaws too as no one is perfect. Lasting marriage is not all abt both couple not having flaws bt its all a matter of mutual understanding btw the couple. No marriage is flawless understand that too.
There are alway 2 side to ever story untill we hear d other part
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 10:54am On Dec 21, 2018
Slimynonny:
You people that are telling him to quit the relationship keep forgetting that for 3good years they hv been together and no problem. It all started with the shifting of date... Why not tackle the issue at hand and stop beating abt the bush....


Read his post again, ud see where he mentioned her being disrespectful, him talking to her about it, and she showing her true colours on and off.. He is thinking marriage would change her... Him never see anything... He would never be happy in that home... Respect to a man is what worship is to God...
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Tosinex(m): 10:55am On Dec 21, 2018
Since the mothers are at logger head with you, talk to the father of the lady as man to man tell him that your people are not convenient with the date you gave, you can let your dad talk with him, whatever he says should be able to straightened out things, his family should be able to listen to him and if they so disagree, tell your lady it's that new date that you have chosen, you can plead and apologize with her, but if she and her family disagree, Bros carry your shoe and dust out the tiny sands of their compound that cleave to it....You are the man, your decisions have to be respected else It might be quite unfortunate for that marriage!
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Donlexino: 10:58am On Dec 21, 2018
I dey tell you brother
mogbojaiye:


Bros laugh wan kill me, ,,,,
No b lie oooo

Nobody knows what might happen April oo
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 11:01am On Dec 21, 2018
Slimynonny:
From the ops story and some of his response here my everything points to his mother. Yes the girl in question may hv an attitude bt thats because she feels insecure because of the date shifting. Ok ask yourself these questions why is his mother refusing to see their in law? Why is she so much in a hurry to curse her son because of date? For all i care and know wedding date would be chosen by the couple in question and then the parents would be notified. Besides parents hv nothing to do with the date their children hv chosen except where the parents are the sole sponsor of the so called wedding. Some mother in laws are a big problem to some daughters in law whom they dont like...



His mum has seen that the lady will kill her son before his time... She is doing everything to frustrate the union... The problem here is, THE GUY NO WAN GET SENSE

1 Like

Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 11:04am On Dec 21, 2018
Checked86:
Your girlfriend, her mother, your mother (three damn women) on you alone. this is serious case but the solution is very easy.

SOLUTION: BE THE MAN!
The solution is very easy because you didn't commit any crime and you owe none of them nothing but RESPECT and respect is better given to those that respect you and your feelings(you situation as well).

Brother, when somebody presents you with two conditions to choose from, is is rational and expected that you go with the one that favours you the most not the one that would please your your client. Your girlfriend's mother does not respect you if and only if what you wrote up there is anything to go by. your girlfriend also seems not to be projecting your image correctly to her family. It is expected to talk up your spouse before your family and that would create respect. .


MY ADVICE:
Cancel the wedding date and fix it whenever you want and definitely, not in April. Disappoint all of them. be the man.


Beautiful advice in my opinion... Maybe from there, they would start to see him as a real man cos right about now, he's a f****g p****y in their eyes
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Slimynonny: 11:08am On Dec 21, 2018
ityP:



Read his post again, ud see where he mentioned her being disrespectful, him talking to her about it, and she showing her true colours on and off.. He is thinking marriage would change her... Him never see anything... He would never be happy in that home... Respect to a man is what worship is to God...
I read it very well. As a matter of fact he said it was in August that they had the argument... And besides i didnt read that they hv been having arguement b4 that one in August so....
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Slimynonny: 11:12am On Dec 21, 2018
ityP:




His mum has seen that the lady will kill her son before his time... She is doing everything to frustrate the union... The problem here is, THE GUY NO WAN GET SENSE
Why not the mother voice her fears to her son if she has no ulterior motive? Some mother in laws can be very cunny. U never can tell what if his mother is one of those cunny ones ? You may not understand sha
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 11:15am On Dec 21, 2018
Slimynonny:
I read it very well. As a matter of fact he said it was in August that they had the argument... And besides i didnt read that they hv been having arguement b4 that one in August so....

The fact that he specifically mentioned august doesn't mean it started then... Did u read where he also mentioned that her being independent makes it difficult for her to be submissive... In other words, no b August her head start to knock... E bin don dey knock since
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Nobody: 11:18am On Dec 21, 2018
Donlexino:
I dey tell you brother

That guy don take serious weed
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Nobody: 11:19am On Dec 21, 2018
ityP:


The fact that he specifically mentioned august doesn't mean it started then... Did u read where he also mentioned that her being independent makes it difficult for her to be submissive... In other words, no b August her head start to knock... E bin don dey knock since

Na wako girl
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by Nobody: 11:19am On Dec 21, 2018
ityP:


The fact that he specifically mentioned august doesn't mean it started then... Did u read where he also mentioned that her being independent makes it difficult for her to be submissive... In other words, no b August her head start to knock... E bin don dey knock since

Lol

Na wako girl
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 11:19am On Dec 21, 2018
Slimynonny:
Why not the mother voice her fears to her son if she has no ulterior motive? Some mother in laws can be very cunny. U never can tell what if his mother is one of those cunny ones ? You may not understand sha


Some mothers don't want to be so forward and direct in showing their displeasure for their son's woman... My mum is a typical example... Only a very tactful guy would be able to draw up whatever feelings she has... Every mother wants the best for her son except na winsh she b, of which I doubt
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ityP(m): 11:20am On Dec 21, 2018
mogbojaiye:


Lol

Na wako girl


No mind her
Re: My Relationship Of 3 Years May End Because Of Wedding Date. by ImaIma1(f): 11:21am On Dec 21, 2018
Dogalmighty17:
I have dated this girl for three years. We fixed a date for the wedding for late this year. However, events seemingly out of my control necessitated that I shift the wedding to February next year. Initially, she was against the shift but I pleaded with her.

Sometime in August this year, we had a disagreement because I noticed she was being disrespectful towards me. She is hardworking, cooks well and is very business oriented. But her sense of independence makes her struggle with submission to her man. I told her how uncomfortable I was with it and she's promised to make amends. She has but from time to time, her old self comes out.

I was at a loss on what to do that I had to voice out the issue to her family. When they asked her, she told them that since I requested for a shift in wedding date, she became uncomfortable with the relationship. Her family then told her to call off the relationship. I got to know about this decision and I called her and she said she was going to obey the wishes of her family. Her mom also told me that since I keep complaining about her daughters lack of respect, I should leave her daughter alone. It took serious pleading from me before the family accepted the continuing of the relationship. They asked me that since the date I initially agreed for the wedding wasn't going to be convenient for me, when then do I think will be convenient? Since I didn't want to loose my woman, I mentioned February. The desperation on my path was much.

My mom on the other hand wants a wedding in April. She has said February is not convenient for her. All my pleas have fell on deaf ears. She has threatened not to bless the union and has even gone as far as threatening to curse me with her breasts if I wed in February.

My girl has refused to even entertain the thought of shifting the date again. She maintains that it is better that we outrightly call off the wedding, than shift it again. I understand her fears. She feels that I may just be wasting her time. I am not

This is my dilemma. Should I go with my woman who has spent three years of her life with me or do I go with my mom?

I must also mention that my mom was informed of the initial date of the wedding over a year ago. But she foot dragged in her support for months until much later in the year that I now had to take issues into my own hands.


All I see here is so much background noise that both of you are listening to. The marriage is about both of you and not your parents. There is a limit to what you both should accept from them.

They have trained you both to become adults to be able to take decisions for your lives so their interference should be minimal.

Things like this come up when planning a wedding. My wedding date had to be shifted because it fell on my uncle's burial day(good reason). We shifted too because his uncle(standing as his dad) had a prior important occasion(good reason)

Then his mum wanted us to shift it because of her yearly church programme. I will not explain how my husband flared up. But he refused to move the date. He said that if she can't attend her 1st son's wedding because of a programme that she has been attending for over a decade and will still attend the next year, then so be it.

Op don't be under pressure from your family or hers. If she loves you and it is meant to be, it will work out. But if you keep begging her and her family and trying to please them, it will continue that way in marriage. Learn to put your foot down and damn the consequences.

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