Saffi:
If you can’t afford it, don’t kill your self. If you can, great. Nothing wrong with spending on your babe, if you have interest in her, just don’t make yourself unhappy or slave-like to please her. But if you’re looking for a long term commitment, you can’t run away from spending and that’s just the truth. Don’t let these niggaz deceive you

PrimadonnaO:


They are really just deceiving him, when in actual fact they do otherwise in their own relationship.
The girl in the OP's story is quite annoying...her matter-of-factly entitlement.

The truth is that the things that happen in a relationship are all unwritten codes, but we operate by them. Y'all are deceiving yourselves if you feel you can be in a relationship and not spend money.

PrimadonnaO:


They are really just deceiving him, when in actual fact they do otherwise in their own relationship.
The girl in the OP's story is quite annoying...her matter-of-factly entitlement.

The truth is that the things that happen in a relationship are all unwritten codes, but we operate by them. Y'all are deceiving yourselves if you feel you can be in a relationship and not spend money... It's nothing about a woman being lazy, far from it, because even working class ladies and business women have expectations of their man, too. It's one of the ways women feel cared for. We've from time immemorial come to see men as primary providers. While women, on the other hand, are primary caregivers. But it doesn't mean that a woman doesn't assist, too. As a matter of fact, a woman usually goes the extra mile for a man she loves and who in return makes her feel loved. Trust me on this one.

All of these guys whining, they are either broke or badly bruised... not anybody's business, neither does it change the fact.

What I do have an issue with is a woman who won't do anything for herself... and would in fact, be in a pathetic state without a man giving her money.

I work and I earn, and can sort out my basic needs and a bit of indulgences for myself, but no, I won't be with a man who's tight-fisted, a man who doesn't understand that he should be supportive and occasionally do random stuff for his woman whether or not such was requested.

I mean, that would stifle my natural inclinations of goodwill. I'd feel stupid if I cooked such a man a sumptuous dish as a treat with my money...I'd feel silly if I saw that nice shirt and got it for him because I felt it would look great on him. I'd feel overzealous if I arranged a surprise for his birthday. Nahh...can't be with a man like that.

What I won't do however, is tell a man I expect a portion of his salary. Lol. It's actually laughable... Neither would I ourightly be slamming him with bills. I'm a lil too proud to do that.

For y'all vile men all over Nairaland, slamming ladies and selling out wack ideologies, I hope you find a solution to your problems pretty soon.

sexybaby22:


The men don't realise that its not called spending when you are with someone you are committed to, its called 'investing' in her.

truthsayer009:


You made a late contribution but a very sensible one. The saffi lady who posted earlier made a good comment too.

No relationship exist without money, if you want to keep your money. Berra be single, its not by force.

Infact there is an unforseen advantage in giving your GF a particular stipend from your income. For those who are not calculative, you'll end up spending more money not accounted for.

If its 5k or 10k or above you want to be giving her monthly in your mind, just separate it & don't let her know. Once she exhausted it on Data/Airtime/Ice cream/Uber/Movies etc. You tell her, babes no money oh. I'm broke Things are hard in this Buhari era

boiz2men:
Lol.

All the girls in my life think I'm stingy.

I fvcking don't care.

They gossip me and say "which kind person b dis"?

I still don't care.

Only a few understand I'm not.

I have never said no to my family members and real friends (male and female alike)

Footnote: no one is stingy.. You just don't worth it.

All because you have a puxxy.. So what?


In fact, it's easier to give a guy money than a babe.

In case u wondering, I think I'm single lol

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

limbolimbo:


, I am sorry we make you feel this way. What can I say, I guess love is truly blind.

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

uyiekpenn:
I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's not your duty as a man to be financially responsible for any girl's upkeep. Nigerian men created this stupid feeling of entitlement and virus that's quite common amongst 90% of Nigerian females. The only woman I give monthly stipends and money in general is my mom and none other. I don't work under the biting winters or hot summers each day to be feeding one broke ass, lazy, hopeless, useless, greedy, senseless and unproductive female when she's not handicapped or an orphan.

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

uyiekpenn:
I once walked a girl out of my car in the middle of the road while I was in Nigeria last year over some stupid comment that she made. She said no man should go into a relationship if you don't have money and guess how I replied her? No girl should go into a relationship if she's broke and has nothing to offer besides pussyy. Majority of these girls are hopeless.

sirfarouk:
If she knew how much you spent on her birthday, she wouldn't have the guts to say what she said about monthly salary.

If you have the intentions to marry her then you have an issue at hand. If not, part ways and ask her to find out how much the wristwatch cost (or better still give her the receipt as a parting gift without saying a thing to her) so that she knows that money is not your problem.

You sef, you are mad for spending over 100k on someone you don't have patience for. In fact both of you are mad.

Saffi:
If you can’t afford it, don’t kill your self. If you can, great. Nothing wrong with spending on your babe, if you have interest in her, just don’t make yourself unhappy or slave-like to please her. But if you’re looking for a long term commitment, you can’t run away from spending and that’s just the truth. Don’t let these niggaz deceive you

limbolimbo:
I recently showed interest in a neighbour of mine, I know she likes me, but she is a very traditional person, she wants us to go through the full cycle before anything further. But something started giving me a reason to worry about here mindset towards relationships.

She celebrated her birthday last month, and I got her a very expensive wrist watch, it cost me 94k, she doesn't know this. I also got her a really nice cake, cost me 10k, so in all I spent over a hundred thousand on her birthday. I know for some this may not seem like much or may seem like too much, I think what really matters is tat I was fine with it and could afford it. Within the same period, she would indirectly ask me for funds, she said she was broke, I could have helped her with this but I felt it was way above my position, as I am only a "To Be Boyfriend", to offer her all this after spending a 100k on gifts for her birthday.

A week ago we had a very interesting discussion, about the role of the man and the woman in a relationship, she said that "A man should be responsible for the upkeep of his Girlfriend, he should save a portion from his salary monthly which he should give to his girlfriend for upkeep". I thought that was nonsense and I quickly called her out on it, all I can say now is that I don't think we would be dating anymore, because she took it very personally, she said she thinks she would suffer if she goes into a relationship with me, because I am already showing signs of being stingy.

If I keep writing I would not end, so my question here is, is she right? Should I have instead given her the cash rather than the gift? Because to me it now seems she doesn't see the value of the gift and would rather have cash. I want adult opinions please.

(Please note that I am not trying to paint this lady as an evil person, she is really sweet, loving, caring, she loves getting attention and doesn't have any problem in showing me how she really feels about me, overall she is a great lady.)

TarOrfeek:


110k

On her Second birthday of the year?