Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers - Jokes Etc (3) - Nairaland
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| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 10:38pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.' BOB's funeral will be on Friday. |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by EfemenaXY: 10:39pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
chi-baby: No babes - I'm fine. . .as u can c  |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 10:49pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
^^^ As I've always known.  |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by EfemenaXY: 10:53pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
hehehe OJ behave yourself na!  |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by EfemenaXY: 10:58pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
Okija_juju: OJ, now this is most definitely 1 of your best jokes! Love it! - keep 'em coming pls. . . |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by spikedcylinder: 11:35pm On Aug 17, 2010 |
I love the ambience of this thread. Keep the jokes coming, I love them! |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by tanimz(f): 12:42am On Aug 18, 2010 |
I never knew OJ was a joker, carry on! |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 1:06am On Aug 18, 2010 |
As una like the thread Abeg make una buy the DVD when I release am o!! Comedian na work o! This na our people wey dey yonder, Make una no ever forget area o!! [flash=600,600] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxoJlqQEDFA[/flash] |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 3:30am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Three men died and stood in front of God. God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife. He admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven. The second man admitted to only an affair and was given a midsize car. The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car. A week later the three guys met in a parking lot. The man driving the luxury car began to cry."What's the matter?" "I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!" |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 4:00am On Aug 18, 2010 |
A ventriloquist was driving through the midwest when his car broke down. He walked a ways and found a farmer who would let him use his phone. Well, the farmer seemed to be a real stereotypical rural type, so the ventriloquist thought it would be possible to have some fun with him. The farmer began to lead him back to the house. Along the way, they passed a horse. The ventriloquist said to the farmer, "Is this your horse?" The farmer replied, "Yep." The ventriloquist asked, "Can he talk?" The farmer said, "Nope." The ventriloquist then said to the horse, "So, how do you like it here?" He then threw his voice, and said in a horse-like voice, "Oh, it's pretty good. Every morning the farmer feeds me oats." Upon hearing this the farmer was startled and quickened his pace. Soon they came to a cow. The ventriloquist asked, "Is this your cow?" and the farmer replied, "Yep." He then asked, "Does it talk?" and the farmer replied, "I, I don't think so." The ventriloquist asked the cow, "How do you like it here?" and threw his voice again. In a cow-like voice, he said, "Oh, I like it just fine. Every morning the farmer comes and milks me." Upon hearing this, the farmer squirmed. He looked down at the ground and continued walking. Soon they came to some sheep. The ventriloquist asked, "Are these your sheep?" and the farmer replied, "Yep." He then asked, "Do they talk?" and the farmer exclaimed, "Yes, but they lie!" |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 4:01am On Aug 18, 2010 |
A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 4:08am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Gentlemen Quiz Want to know if you're, or someone you know is a gentleman? 1. In the company of feminists, intercourse should be referred to as: a) Lovemaking b) Screwing c) The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town 2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship b) Your blood-test results c) Five tequila slammers 3. You time your orgasm so that: a) Your partner climaxes first b) You both climax simultaneously c) You don't miss SportsCenter 4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: a) Healthy, creative love-play b) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about 5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is: a) The best part of the experience b) The second best part of the experience c) $100 extra 6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is: a) No concern of yours b) Not a problem - she can join your gym c) A conservative estimate 7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is: a) A myth b) An oxymoron c) A slowpoke 8. pre-intimacy is to sex as: a) Appetizer is to entree b) Priming is to painting c) A queue is to an amusement park ride 9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? a) "I hope we can still be friends." b) "I'm not in right now. Please leave a message after the tone, " c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You." 10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: a) Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy b) Is uptight and a waste of time c) Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused. If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, call me up. Let's go drinking. P.S: Post your results o!! |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 4:18am On Aug 18, 2010 |
The following is a comprehensive federal study, approved by the Attorney General: Everything Men Know About Women; End of Report U.S. Attorney General's Office |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Ben13: 9:20am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Lol Threads like this are attractive. . .keep 'em coming, Okija. |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by spikedcylinder: 9:53am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Can we contribute or you've bought the franchise of this thread?   |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 9:56am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Lets switch the style up a lil bit. Picture Comedy I apologize to all religious-sensitive people for this one.
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| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 9:59am On Aug 18, 2010 |
@ Spiked The thread is actually open to all contributors. It's suppose to feature other performers. Please drop yours too. I could also do with some fresh laughs myself.  |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 10:13am On Aug 18, 2010 |
The result of being too romantic
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| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Ben13: 10:34am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Lol. . . He died for a good reason; it's a good Friday. |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by StudioCFR(m): 10:35am On Aug 18, 2010 |
OJ, i'm proud of u brother- you're the best. But u cant take my crown hehehe |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by googles: 10:50am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Okija_juju:  |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 11:21am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Na wah o!! I wonder how basket mouth and dem "I go dye" use hammer for this business. I neva chop since yesterday o!! All my money don finish for Cybercafe, where I dey post joke. Na employment website I suppose dey browse o!!. Anyways nothing do us, the show must continue. Make I use the remaining 2minutes for my cybercafe time post these ones.
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| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 11:25am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Na 30seconds time remain now. Abeg make una try hel ****Time don finish**** |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by StudioCFR(m): 11:28am On Aug 18, 2010 |
Lol. E go better my brother. |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by snthesis(m): 12:30pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
nice jokes u try okija juju funkified to OJ- nw dats a laff but wait O! that one mean dat OJ simpson na ur bro |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by EfemenaXY: 1:05pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
Bros OJ!! Now you don finally land!! - Never seen any of your latest jokes b/4 And now I'm tripping for them all Kudos to you - keep 'em coming pls. . . |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by ElementG(m): 1:07pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
now dat was classic OJ, just keep d club pumping ok? |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 7:08pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
Una thank you o!! I go try my best to keep this thread alive. @ Studio: I hope say that your crown go fit me. @ Efe: There is more where that came from. If you wan hear more, you know now! @ Synthesis: My brother even me surprise for the O.J name o!! Thanks to my one & only Efe. @ Topic Back on the matter; A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said: "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan." |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by tanimz(f): 7:10pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
^^ |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by StudioCFR(m): 7:13pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
@OJ - My crown too big to fit yo small coconut head. But u dey try sha- yo jokes make small sense lol |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by Okijajuju1(m): 7:19pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
@ Studio: We will see about that. If E no size me, welder go adjust am. Three men died and were taken by God to the top of a cliff. God said to them that since they had been such great outstanding citizens of Earth that they would be given one chance to become anything that they desired. The first man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an eagle." Instantly he was changed into an eagle and soared off into the sunset. The second man ran to the edge of the cliff, jumped into the air and shouted, "I want to be an owl." Instantly he was changed into an owl and soared off into the sunset. The third man ran towards the edge of the cliff, tripped on a rock, and shouted, "Oh shi.t , " |
| Re: Lol With Okija Ft. some Jokers by EfemenaXY: 7:23pm On Aug 18, 2010 |
^^ Lol!! - That's classic |
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