Valerie47:
I will pass, no can do.

wetdick:

in Nigerian english, meaning?

Valerie47:
i no want

Biglittlelois:


That's the scary thing with potentials, at a point you'd begin to ask yourself if you're doing the right thing being with him, this is why I don't really blame ladies that go for already made men.

Bouncingbabyboy:
bros you don tay here oo ....2008!!! Legend

Saffi:
I’ve realised that woman who are single have less wrinkles, they age better and look much younger compared to their colleagues who look like expired milk catering to their good for nothing husbands.

MJBOLT:

lefulefu,DanDeeBoss

escapefromusa:

Nothing wrong with a woman who has a role in productivity to aim for a wealthy man - she's a pillar. But their is everything wrong with a woman who's role is consumption to aim for a wealthy man - she's a termite.
This is where you are wrong in principle.

Saffi:
Darling, I never said being independent is gross. I said the act of resisting help and acting like you can do it all is gross, especially if a man who is truly interested in you is willing to help. No matter how independent you are, you can accept assistance from a man regardless of if he’s your husband or not as long as he is wholeheartedly willing to do so. It’s not a big deal and you’re making into such a huge issue which will in the end be detrimental to yourself. If someone helps you willingly why would they expect you to pay them back if things don’t work out? I think you’re mentally scarred by some situations that have happened to you in the past which has resulted to you putting up this shield against yourself, protecting your heart unnecessarily. It has now made you extremely masculine and you now perform the duties of a man in a relationship, and for some reason you believe this is normal?

Anyways each to their own, I hope this your mentality works for you in the long run. Good luck.

Omoge87:
Dear OP.

I don’t really understand this philosophy myself. I am a Nigerian lady. I currently work, I bought and drive my own car. Have almost completed my MSc which I paid for myself. My point being as a Nigerian lady I have never cared about what material thing a guy has. What girls think a guy can provide for them- they can actually provide for themselves if they work hard.

I have only been in two relationships in my life - but in those relationships I never cared about anything material. I cared about their long term vision and goals etc... I remember my first ex didn’t drive. I am the one that would drop him home after church etc.. When they had a need I would help. When I had need they would offer to help and I would politely decline - if it was monetary - simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me. Also I noticed Nigerian men associate helping their girlfriends with sex - so far as they are gifting you and giving you money they expect sex in return and as I am not a prostitute - I decline such things. I would rather ask my parents if I had any monetary needs. I don’t believe boyfriend should become your driver or your bank when courtship and vice versa. When you are husband and wife - then yes I can accept financial assistance from my husband - but not boyfriend. Why should a boyfriend be paying my fees or rent? I just don’t understand it at all. A girl should learn to be self - sufficient - when she has her own she won’t care if a guy has BMW or plenty money. She will rather want someone who is compatible with her vision and life long goals.

Bottom line my philosophy is if a girl works hard she won’t have to rely on a man for anything- she will not care if he has a car or money as her first port of call. She will be interested in - does he have a Job, is he a Christian, family background etc... because she wants someone likeminded and compatible with her also.

I think it is laziness that makes some girls want to live off a man. I just don’t understand it at all. My brain cannot comphrend the thought. There is nothing like having your own independence as a woman. I am not a feminist oooo. I just believe in hard work so you don’t have to rely on anyone or beg anyone for anything in this life.

On this same forum there was a post that asked would you rather a rich husband that cheats but provides or a poor husband that is faithful but can’t provide. I just shook my head. Why can’t one just have a hardworking husband and a hard working wife who are both faithful and provide for each other’s needs ?

wetdick:


you forgot to write that out of the 7 bilion people in the world and 185 million people in Nigeria, 60 % are women. there are more women than men.

.

Gerrard59:


This is false. There are more men than women in Nigeria and the globe.

https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.POP.TOTL.FE.ZS

@Saffi: You say the reality but you're too harsh.

Gerrard59:


This is false. There are more men than women in Nigeria and the globe.

https://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.POP.TOTL.FE.ZS

@Saff: You say the reality but you're too harsh.

Gerrard59:
Women are hypergamous. Anyone expecting a woman to marry below her level is a joker! Moreover, how many Nigerian men desire to marry ladies who have more money than them?

Abegi!

Omoge87:
Dear OP.

I don’t really understand this philosophy myself. I am a Nigerian lady. I currently work, I bought and drive my own car. Have almost completed my MSc which I paid for myself. My point being as a Nigerian lady I have never cared about what material thing a guy has. What girls think a guy can provide for them- they can actually provide for themselves if they work hard.

I have only been in two relationships in my life - but in those relationships I never cared about anything material. I cared about their long term vision and goals etc... I remember my first ex didn’t drive. I am the one that would drop him home after church etc.. When they had a need I would help. When I had need they would offer to help and I would politely decline - if it was monetary - simply cos I don’t want any guy to be saying he did xyz for me. Also I noticed Nigerian men associate helping their girlfriends with sex - so far as they are gifting you and giving you money they expect sex in return and as I am not a prostitute - I decline such things. I would rather ask my parents if I had any monetary needs. I don’t believe boyfriend should become your driver or your bank when courtship and vice versa. When you are husband and wife - then yes I can accept financial assistance from my husband - but not boyfriend. Why should a boyfriend be paying my fees or rent? I just don’t understand it at all. A girl should learn to be self - sufficient - when she has her own she won’t care if a guy has BMW or plenty money. She will rather want someone who is compatible with her vision and life long goals.

Bottom line my philosophy is if a girl works hard she won’t have to rely on a man for anything- she will not care if he has a car or money as her first port of call. She will be interested in - does he have a Job, is he a Christian, family background etc... because she wants someone likeminded and compatible with her also.

I think it is laziness that makes some girls want to live off a man. I just don’t understand it at all. My brain cannot comphrend the thought. There is nothing like having your own independence as a woman. I am not a feminist oooo. I just believe in hard work so you don’t have to rely on anyone or beg anyone for anything in this life.

On this same forum there was a post that asked would you rather a rich husband that cheats but provides or a poor husband that is faithful but can’t provide. I just shook my head. Why can’t one just have a hardworking husband and a hard working wife who are both faithful and provide for each other’s needs ?

Bamz:


What am I then?

Gerrard59:
Women are hypergamous. Anyone expecting a woman to marry below her level is a joker! Moreover, how many Nigerian men desire to marry ladies who have more money than them?

Abegi!

Saffi:
If you like, write essays upon essays to dispute my claims, I speak the truth and that’s facts and that’s why most of you men are triggered. Nothing you say will convince me to settle with a guy who only has potential. If I cannot see something substantial already that can grow, I’m not buying it. Good luck to all the ladies who want to build a man, you will lose more than you gain. Bye bye.

Saffi:
I don’t understand it. They want independent women but once they see her, they run. So what’s really the truth here, and who is deceiving who? You want an independent woman but just as long as she’s not making more money than you, biko you can’t have your cake and eat it. Once a woman starts making more money she automatically becomes proud and uncontrollable. Is it not better to settle with the leech? I tire oh

SyberKate:
So about 2 years ago when I was still dating my now ex I got a call from a family friend in the US, towards the end of the call she asked me if I was married yet and I said no but was dating someone and she was like "oh that's nice, what does he do" and I replied saying he's an accountant. She went on and said "wow that's great, and is he working" to which I replied yes. And she congratulated me and says "I hope it works out for you two"

Fast forward to today, I was at a Meetup with some old friends and one of my friends, lets call her ladyA was trying to hook up another of our friends ladyB who was single.

So ladyA says to ladyB that she has this friend who is single and searching and she believes ladyB will like him. The first thing ladyB says is "him get money" and I was shocked. Him get money, seriously that's the only thing that concerns you. You don't care if he has a job or a career, or a Christian or Muslim. If from a good family background you didn't ask any of that. But it didn't end there, so I forgot to mention we are 4 in ladies in this Meetup. So the forth lady, I'll call her ladyC now cuts in and says "what car does he drive? because me too I'm interested"

And I started doing some maths, we are 4 in a group and 2 of them only cared about material things to mortivate them to date a guy, that's 50%. Is that 50 percent or even more of Nigeria ladies think this way.

Now compare this to what I said in the beginning, my family friend in the US only cared about my guy potential, what he does.

I think I have said enough for now so my question is Nigerian ladies why don't you care about the guys with potential anymore?
Why do you think so much about material things and not what are more important.

The floor is open, oya start dropping your comments or excuses

Bamz:


You just don't get it, do you? There's no crime in wanting money and all the flashy things, and living with the outcome of the choice after marriage, if the man becomes richer or otherwise.

Because some chose to live their lives on another standard doesn't make them stupid. I respect your opinion, so you should respect that of others.

wetdick:


hypergamous literally gold digging

We live in Nigeria with a high rate of unemployment, the middle class is small, the guy with the money, almost 10 woman wants him, what chance do the other women that wants to date up have , i think 0

The reality here in Nigeria is that most average guys are potential, it is either she goes for them and build together or she gets no one.

wetdick:


hypergamous literally gold digging, nobody will tell a woman to get jobs below her level when she is hungry.

i believe People should marry their class, any poor woman that wants to marry from the upper-class need to prove her worth.
and i also think there is nothing wrong if a woman supports and complement a man.

We live in Nigeria with a high rate of unemployment, the middle class is small, the guy with the money, almost 10 woman wants him, what chance do the other women that wants to date up have , i think 0

The reality here in Nigeria is that most average guys are potential, it is either she goes for them and build together or she gets no one.

LastDance:
The difference is clear.
Poverty all over Africa, hunger, economy recession and the movie industry are 100% responsible for making our Nigeria Ladies to start behaving like financial parasites.

In Europe and America where they train up their girls to become independent, you see high school students earning little money by doing shifts at hospitals and malls.

They learn how to work hard and earn their own money at a young age.

Their economy and environment is conducive for them and for their dreams to come True.

Their parents and teachers teaches them the importance of becoming a good citizen, obeying the law and making their country proud.

Their movies teaches them to be heroes to their country at large and try to fight corruption by any means.

Their female celebrities tells them the importance of working hard and not sleeping with men for money.

They look up to Adele, Beyonce and the likes of opera wenfrey and they become motivated to be who they want to be.

But looking at Nigeria in particular, The opposite is the order of the day.

Firstly when growing up, mothers will depend on fathers for everything, you will see a case where a mom have to ask money for garri, money for little things like candles.

Now this little stuffs affects the psychology of little girls.
They grow up thinking that their boyfriends and husbands have to pay all the bills.

Our movie industry encourages prostitution.
Our female celebs are nothing to write home about.

Our Educational system makes it OK for female students to have sex for marks.

Our society makes it a tradition for having sex to get what you want.

There are many things wrong with Nigeria and this has affect the psychology and lifestyles of about 90% of our Ladies and sadly it will continue till the world ends.

Its just sad and the only selected good few are those that chooses to be librated and break free from the mental slavery.

MariaLavina:
That's because a typical Nigerian man says hello with money. From trying to look dope and classy yourself before you can approach a Lady to trying to get a lady's attention by offering to take her out.

The question is how many Nigerian guys can handle an independent lady? or How many Nigerian guys can get a woman's heart without spending? None! You spoil them yet complain? If you guys can detach your masculinity/ confidence from money, then women will learn and only want what you can offer.

funmisticqueen:
we dont care about potential anymore, because potential is just empty promises until it yields results. I cant gamble my happiness on a future possibility. I will rather have something i can work with

Saffi:
No woman has to fuckinng settle for anything. Thank God for social media. So many of my friends in naija are meeting guys from different countries and they’re getting married. I met my boyfriend who used to live in qatar and I live in London, and he’s well to do. It’s so easy to meet a guy based in Abuja if you live in Lagos, thanks to the internet. They’re millions of men around the world, old and young looking for partners. If more women knew this, they wouldn’t have to settle for church rat Ayo from ajegunle. Women just need to broaden their search and think smart.

wetdick:


pastor preach.

My ex gf told me her story, she was 17 when she started to hustle, left her home town to another city to hustle, started as a waiter and move on to become manager of a restaurant. dat woman is what i call an independent woman not leeches we have here.

nigerians girls are damn entitled that is why men dont respect them. they prefer gold digging than starting anything themselves