₦airaland Forum

stillwater:
Yeah and he died centuries ago

He lives thru me.

redsun:
[b]To the wise love transcendes above all things,[/b]that is what religion is suppose to be all about,love and sacrifice,the significance of the cross,give to get.

all those 50% of married couples who divorce within 2yrs of marriage professed to have love too . . . it just didnt transcend their "irreconciliable differences".

Imani:
Can YOU have a gay friend?

Why not? I would however make it abundantly clear i do not approve of his lifestyle.

Cassiel:
Show me a happy home where the husband goes for jihad rallies,the wife for all-night prayer meetings,the son is an alfa and the daughter is seriously taking steps to become a reverend sister.Just one,i ask of you all who say religous differences don't matter

You talk am finish.

doyin13:
Isn't the fact that each relationship faces unique challenges the very reason why generalisations about the chances of such marriages be avoided.

There is no straight answer to this issue. However choosing to gamble on ur own marriage turning out to be one of the very few that survive the intricacies of religious differences may be playing russian roulette with ur future.

damola1:
Excuse me sir, who threatened you with death?, where did you learn it that disciplined is instilled through threats of death?,

Send a gay friend to Iran.

Imani:
@4Him, just a theoretical question,

If everyone married within the boundaries of their religion, class, education, what do you envisage the world will be like?

1. Everyone should marry within the boundaries of their religion . . . the failure rate for those who do otherwise is dangerously high. We have a few people who got it to work and then assume we can model our own marriages after them forgetting that everyone faces unique challenges.

2. Every other boundary depends on the ability of each individual to adjust to their partner. I can marry outside the boundaries of class and education . . . it all depends on the woman.

damola1:
The point was very simple: The Great Religion instills discipline in people than christianity.

You have eyes . . . you dont instill discipline by threatening others with death.
Your statement above is incredulous . . .

damola1:
2. Whoever said my mother runs my family, don't be silly, its a joint venture where a woman manages the man, who thinks he's the smart one. You might not agree, however, I believe women run the family eventually, men only assume the figure face, but its just like saying: Dangote is a front for OBJ, if a woman understands his man very well, he knows how to manage him effectively to deliver the results she wants, in 90% of the cases.

dont be silly, here is your own statement - [size=14pt]everyone knows a woman runs the family, she runs everything[/size]

Who's the silly one now?

You're speaking from both sides of the mouth - first you say women run the family, next you claim its a joint venture where the woman manages the man (in a joint venture?), within the same statement u contradict urself further by saying the woman EVENTUALLY runs the family. Which one did you mean to say?

ayomifull:
Thank you very much Mr immigration law UN breaker and congratulations for being a very holy, sinless man who has to throw the first stone.

I'm not without sin, but i wil not wilfully defraud a system knowing the rebound effect it will have on generations to come. Thanks to criminals like you, the law in Ireland has since been changed making it even more difficult for genuine travellers to get in.
It wasnt long ago that Nigerians didnt require visas to travel to the UK.

ayomifull:
don't forget to go and kill Nigeria Govt who awarded electricity contract to unregistered foreign companies, paid 100% upfront and did no job, good man and remeber to advise that all of them should be deported.

this is ur own excuse? An armed robber could as well play the same victim card.

ayomifull:
Awe,if you are furtunate in life don't call your padis lazy bones, and come to think of it how many Europeans, Americans cme to Nigeria to do this? Does that not mean something? Please tell those defrauders in Nigeria who calls themselves govt to make their country comfortable for all and give equal or near equal opportunity to all.

Dont go blocking someone else's chances because of ur own greed.

ayomifull:
One of those 'defrauders' is Rotimi Adebari who was the first foreigner to be made a mayor of a county in Ireland, what did Nigerians do? Crying hell that he was an assylum seeker blablablablablablablabla. Thank God for the number of 'defrauders' from Nigeria today who are holding great postitions in Ireland in various fields including me who got a good job in ISP company without having to know anyone or bribing anyone abd despite being a 'defrauder' yesterday, i'm sure your like would not even employ me.

yup now u've got a good job, i dont think u spare any thought for those at the recieving end of consular officers in Lagos who will be venting their spleen on the hapless intending travellers because of crooks like you.

Now that's my 50cents.

@ Blatant

DEFINITELY

He is responsible for the worst things to happen to human beings, next only probably to Adolf Hitler

Worse than Joseph Stalin, Mussolini, Idi Amin, Mao Ze dong, Ceaucescu, Abacha, Arafat?

Imani:
@ JoshJosh, I have to agree with you. The religion board is something else . I feel you. How people manage to argue over and over with each other is beyond me and sometimes you will think there is a prize awaiting the winner of the "debate"

the winner gets a sweet.

Imani:
3. Your example of honour killing is extreme. Honour killing is not limited to a girl simply refusing to marry the family approved "spouse" due to different culture or religion. It transcends that. Honour killing has also been known to occur due to clash of spouse on basis of class even within the boundaries of the same religion, or a lady seeking divorce from her husband both practicing same religion etc.

I used an example that would be easily understood by the majority, it may be extreme but it still cuts to the heart of the matter.

damola1:
YOu missed the point sir.

perhaps because there was none in the first place.

damola1:
Not True. in fact, in my case my mother is a xtian, and I am also, and so is my brother.  Please please please, stop this talk that someone is running your life, everyone knows a woman runs the family, she runs everything

Simply because that's the way it worked in your family? No sir, my father ruled my family.

damola1:
2. You are correct that people cannot simply change when from childhood they have been made of a different composition, however, I am not talking about change here, I am talking about LOVE, and the fact that, in my parents case, it's seen them cross over: 25years and in my case, 8years. I am talking about the fact that, you shouldn't allow religion cloud your decisions about other people, I am saying, you cannot judge people because of their religious believes from a distant unless you know them. Never ever judge a book by its cover.

Never judge a population by one singular experience.

olabowale:
@4Him: The ahadith that you do not understand is very straight forward to me. "Made victorious by terror" which is coming from Allahu Taala means just that. How the terror will occur, only He alone knows. It brings to mind though, of the view points held by the Children of Israel about Moses and Aaron. Though Aaron was a prophet and older than Moses, they people did not fear him as much as they feared his younger brother Moses.

God made Moses a more imposing personality by first raising him in royal household of Pharaoh. Then He gave him all the physical, mental and spiritual strength and even made the ordinary stick in his a thing of wonder. Am very sure that Moses was made victorious over the Egyptians of tyrannical Pharaoh by extreme TERROR. Afterall the military apparatus under Pharaoh collapsed under Moses stick. The children of Israel feared Moses so much that he forced them to drink a "powdered brew" of their god which they made while he was receiving the 10 Commandments. But even his voice was a terror in their hearts.

You see what is meant by being made victorious by terror? Then go into the history of mankind, the infractions of Mus, lims, even though a single infraction is one too many, but it is very pale to what the Jews or Christians have done. You see I am not even going to touch how terrifying it is that a man can force another man to drink gold liquid! Imagine what they fea the alternative to be, if they did not drink this liquid product of the golden calf?

If Moses overcame the army of Pharaoh by "extreme terror" why were they running away from the pursuing army that eventually drowned in the red sea by the mighty arm of the Lord?

You sound very confused.

the emergency Cubans should come and tell us how good Catro really was.

Sisikill:
Hey, Seun. . .I demand a recount! I think that poll is rigged, rigged I tells ya!

the poll isnt statistically significant just yet.

Chacal:
I have told u many times u are smarter than your age.
A lot of relationships crumble because the people involved see the truth and they completely ignore it.
They go with the stupid assumption that things might change later and that is a huge risk for anyone to take. . .
Don't even smell what u cannot taste. . . . It's the law of PHYSICS.

I don't like you a lot of the time, but u're making plenty of sense at the moment.

I'm perplexed when i see otherwise reasonable adults base their concept of a lifetime of commitment on a few hours of a "soooo beautiful" wedding.

We read cases of honor killings in the UK and recently in the US, we read cases of men (especially those of middle eastern heritage married to white women) forcing their daughters into arranged marriages . . . they all started with marriages were the pastor and imam ate and laughed together.

Sweet T:
can we all just get along??

We cant even get along with a simple discourse and so many people with their heads in the clouds think they can marry someone with starkly different religious beliefs and "get along"?

Busta:
I honestly thot u made sense before but now I know your brain don't seems to be functioning properly.
So quick to conclude and think u know better.

and u say u ain't judging . . . .

as for the cross, That was nothing but an adduce.

Who really cares? I'd rather judge than insult others who dont agree with my point of view like a spoilt child.

ifyalways:
@topic  . . .YES and a resounding YES
a house divided esp in religious issues cannot stand.

Pls tell your blind sisters.

Sisikill:
But you are judging when you say emphatically that these people are simply practicing their religion on paper.

I think the term "judging" is grossly over used. That i express an oppinion that is different from yours does not indicate a judgemental attitude. Would i be right to say you are judging for accusing me of judging when i'm not?

Sisikill:
ALL the men in my lives who are M u s l i m s are like that.
ALL the men I've come across at one time or the other who are M u s l i ms are like that.
ALL my friends' Fathers who are m u s l i m s are like that

Well, marry them all first and report back to us.
It is one thing to know a man as an uncle, friend, cousin . . . it is another to know him as a husband.

Sisikill:
Have you ever tried researching what Jihad really means? I’ll save you the trouble. . .in the simplest way I can put it without going into much detail, it means striving to improve one’s self and society.

Go rewrite the kooran and hadiths then.

Sisikill:
Is that what the Bible also calls for? Don't you get it? Just because a certain sect of one religion decide to take a portion of their Holy book and use it as an excuse to be destructive, does not mean everyone of that religion is like that.

i never said such.

Sisikill:
That's like me saying The Church of God with Signs Following is the epitome of what all churches are.  In case you haven’t heard about them, they believe in carrying snakes around and drinking poison as part of their religious services. If the snake bites you while you are holding it, it means you are not a true Christian or that you have no faith. I hope you are gasping in shock wondering where they got that notion. . .wonder no more my friend, just check out Mark 16:17 -18 . Many have died because of this practice . . . where is the chant of Terrorist?

Your analogy is fatally flawed. A group is judged by the very book it derives its laws from . . . the bible does not encourage neither did it say a peep about the man-made practices you describe above.

Sisikill:
Ever wonder why Jehovah’s Witnesses refuses blood transfusions in spite of the numerous evidences that a pint of blood can save lives? Because it’s in the Bible . . . Acts 15:28 – 29 and Gen 9: 3 -4. Many have died because of this practice . . . do you call them terrorist?

1. The bible didnt tell us not to accept blood transfusions - another man-made doctrine that you hypocrites use to deflect terrorism in is'lam.
2. They become terrorists when they fly aircraft to go kill innocent Spaniards. If mooslims were only killing themselves by denying blood transfusions no one would give a bother.

Sisikill:
And for funsies. . .ever wonder why some Jehovah witness churches don’t have windows? Some say it’s to keep the outside world away, others say it to keep the devil away and even more say it’s to avoid persecution. Seriously?!!

Did you read such nonsense in the bible?

Sisikill:
Every religion has its extremists and it's hypocritical look focus on one while turning a blind eye to the other.

There are hindu extremists, i just dont care because they dont bother the rest of the outside world.

Chacal:
Would You End A Beautiful Relationship Over Religious Differences? Why should i?

At the end of the day, i am the MAN here.
A woman marrying me will share ma last name and adopt ma religion irrespective of what she is before we got married.
This is no issue at all unless u are looking at it from a woman's angle.

That is the advantage men have, which is the reason most of the males here dont really care about this issue.
It is also one of the reason i'm not so bothered too. I have a choice to choose who i will marry, what my kids will grow up to be . . . women sadly dont have so much room to manouvre . . . which is why i wonder why so many of them are willing to jump naively into such an important project as marriage.

Busta:
one word: "Ignorance"
you don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with ya

Like I always end my postings. . . .every man to each his own.
at the end of the day, You will have to carry your own darn Cross and I'll carry mine.

_*yawn*
Its not a question of agreeing with you or not . . . its a question of reality. We've seen soooooooo beautiful weddings before . . . 50% of them end in divorce within 2 yrs.

I dont also remember anyone volunteering to help u carry ur cross.

damola1:
For example, I never touched a woman while I was a moslem

and you think hindus and christianity condones adultery and fornication? 1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

damola1:
and largely because the moslem religion does not tolerate thievery thats why I am not a yahoo boy.

There are no yahoo yahoo boys in Japan . . . is it largely because of Is'lam?
Did your christian background encourage thievery?

damola1:
You don't know the moslem religion, please be careful how you express yourself about it, and on top of this,  don't forget many of us young chaps are mere casual xtians and moslems, so we don't really know anything in fact!,  only what they say.

Neither do you understand christianity.

Busta:
Its all naija mentality like I kept saying.

nada, i think u're just naive.

Busta:
I recently attending a beautiful wedding. The bride is pure white and a xtian and the groom is a moslem and from somewhere in the middle east . . .his last name is even "Jihad".

the wedding was sooooo beautiful. Since they were both from different religion and was to be joined in matrimony.

All divorces started out with weddings that were "soooooo beautiful" . . . unfortunately a soooo beautiful wedding is not a barometer of how the marriage eventually ends up.

Busta:
They opted for an outdoor ceremony. There was both a pastor and Imam present. The pastor did his part and the iman did his part. At the end of the day . . .they were pronounced "Mr and Mrs Jihad". You need to see both men of God relate with each other and laughed and ate . . . all together!

This is all too superficial. Whether the "men of God" related well or ate separately . . . what matters most is the strength of the marriage they just "blessed".
The fact that both parties insisted on having their separate religious leaders present is already a red flag . . . neither is subconsciously ready to compromise just yet.

Busta:
Tell me now people. . . why didn't the pastor condemn her and reign bible passages on her not to marry the guy. Why did the pastor even show up in the first place? And the Imam, why did he encourage the guy the go with the wedding?

They were both "contracted" for the wedding . . .

Busta:
No one is God, so why judge other people and their religion?

Absurd. God in the bible HAS CONDEMNED those who choose to reject His sacrifice on the cross of calvary.

Sisikill:
Excuse me sir, you say the bolded part of your post so matter of factly, I have to wonder. . .is it your Christianhood/Christiandom (take your pick) which gives you such insight to make a judgement like this?

Not everything you disagree with should be categorised as judging.

Sisikill:
And the taliban-style dressing? I'm sorry but I don't know what this means? What I do know is that in the all of the years my father was alive, I've never seen him dress in anything but his traditional attires for parties, jeans and shirt for lounging and buisness suits for work. Neither did he ever force any of his sons (four of them) to wear anything out of the ordinary.

By the way, in the times we live in, the word Taliban connotes something dangerous. . .I don't know if that's what you were going for but if it is, I must say. . . it's sad that we choose to see things through an extremist point of view.

If everyone were your father . . . what a wonderful world this would be. We wont have to put up topics such as this.

Thanks Joshjosh . . . and i wish you the same.

joshjosh:
anyway love they say is blind but marriage is an eye opener. the road to hell is always full of good intensions.

i like to be proved wrong but these kind of relationships are always presure cooker relationships.

Excellent point, it is easy to rubbish the impact spiritual compatibility has on a couple when u're just dating. However a prudent man always looks beyond the present.
The fact that there are a sprinkling of relationships that have survived differences in religion between the couple should not blindfold us to the fact that the vast majority of those marriages end up in disaster.
the divorce rate is higher that it has ever been . . . it does not invalidate the fact that some marriages are still going strong.
We will do well to take heed to the words of wisdom and not allow wild passions to take over our ability to see through the foggy future.

Imani:
@4Him,

I just checked your profile image and saw the picture of a "serene" tiger rather than a "roaring" tiger. I was prompted to look based on the mild nature of your response regarding a topic you are such and expert on or rather passionate about. You haven't even abused anyone on this thread, yet. Hmmm what is happening to you? 

I am now a man of peace.
Seriously though,  a couple of experiences have made me change my mind on a wide range of issues i once held a dogmatic opinion on.
Perhaps abusing people is not a good way of passing across a message.

Do i think that wilfully marrying an unbeliever is wrong as a christian? Absolutely!

Siskill and damola are making me take more than a second look at this issue.

Sisikill:
Take the "be ye not of unequally yoked with unbelievers" quote now. . .

1) Who is an unbeliever? Some will say it’s someone who isn't Christian? Oh really? So why. . .pray tell, then do we have the different Christian denomination fighting amongst one another. So a Baptist can’t marry a Catholic or Anglican or Redeemed. So there goes that theory . . .

I dont get it either. My parents used to be big on this issue of "you cant marry outside your church" until i asked them to show me where it was so written in the bible . . .
I think, however, that the bible is pretty plain on who constitutes an unbeliever.

Sisikill:
2) Let’s try the next one. . .is it someone who is your church member but has not reached your level of spirituality? Obviously if you believe in going to church 7 days a week and they think Sunday is just fine for them. . .doesn’t that make you unequally yoked? Another theory in the trash can.

I fall into that category . . . my best friends in college went to church almost 7 times a week while i was content with going on sunday and the odd wednesday. That is sufficient to me, the problem with "religion" today is we have allowed too many man-made doctrines to creep in so much that many of us end up being confused as to what is really God and what is just the sentiments of ur pastor.

Sisikill:
3) Let see another. . .You are a gbim, gbim Christian, he isn’t anything. . .okay, not that he isn’t anything, he just refuses to put a label on what he is. He believes in God though, he prays and he even has a couple of Christian CDs that he meditates on in the privacy of his car. He respects your beliefs and has never once stopped you from going to church . . .but since he doesn’t go, he is obviously unequally yoked, right? Yep another theory kicked to the curb.

No hard and fast rule, if you are the tongue-speaking type of christian then dont bother hooking that "i just want a simple christian life" chic because she happens to be cute. Even water finds its level.

Sisikill:
I can go on and on with but I will be digressing from my real point which is and someone please correct me if I’m wrong…. but isn’t the whole unequally yoked set in place to help couples avoid future problems? Yet we have a couple who are both Christians,  who are on the same spiritual level, attending the same church but are contemplating divorce. Meanwhile on the other side of the street is a Christian woman and M u s l i m man who have been together for years and years, good people, good parents and still love each other. . .however, according to the verse, These are the ones who are unequally yoke?

Let me add to this - i recently learnt that a guy, a family friend i have respected for yrs, a christian couple i looked up to were separating because the husband had been caught cheating on his wife.
Sometimes you wonder, what went wrong? Werent they both SU christians for the last 30yrs? Who was deceiving who?

Sisikill:
Then please do enlighten us on the truth and reality. No better place to have a discourse on this matter, no?

I have tried . . . i dont know the whole truth either. What i do know is that compatibility in marriage is not as simple as "love conquers all".

where man for start from now?  

Imani:
1. Love conquers most not all things. Most responses to the topic actually favour quiting a relationship because of difference of religion. However, some have also pointed out the fallacy of using religion as "major" yardstick in ditching a mutual loving relationship. I believe religion is important but i am not overtly fanatical about it.

I agree . . . i have used religion as a yardstick here with the assumption that both parties are actually seriously into practicing their religions. For those to whom religion is merely a tick of a box then this should not be an issue.

Imani:
2. The example of little foxes is a flawed concept because it can also be applied to Christians who love each other but belong to different churches who differ on fundamental teachings on the bible. Example, a pentecostal may not be comfortable with someone of a white garment or catholic denomination. At the end of the day they are all Christians but what people believe in the bible is also important in how they live their daily lives.

That doesnt make it a flawed concept . . . it simply implies that there are a wide range of issues that it can be applied to, it is not strictly speaking about religious differences in marriage.

Imani:
3. Any inter religious marriage rarely work, not simply because of the religious differences itself but because of how/what OTHERS perceive about it. Those that work tend to have an inactive religious person. However, that requires a high level of maturity. Of course i am all for spouses praying for their spouses however, not forcing them to change religion.

That is not entirely true.
However i had a change of mind as regards the last line of your comment above, i was listening to a bible chapter in Corinthians and was actually surprised to note that if your spouse is an unbeliever but is content to dwell with you and you with her then you dont have grounds for divorce.

Lets not even look too far, not every couple is on the same plane spiritually even if they attend the same church. One spouse wants to live in the church 24/7, the other is just content with sunday mornings and saying a short prayer before bedtime . . . that may be a basis for marital friction if both dont learn to adjust to the other's differences.

I wont go out of my way to marry a woman who is of a different faith from me . . . biblically it is wrong but i wont be looking for a prayer warrior either. The most important thing is to learn to compromise, if others can cope with a spouse of a differing faith then so be it.
At the end of the day, you do what seems best in your eyes and in the sight of God.

Imani:
At the end of the day, yes religion is important but maybe not as important as people make it out to be. With all the level of religious activity in the African or particularly Nigerian culture, are we getting better or worse as a people?

I dont think religion is important either as i dont practice one. I have a relationship with God, its popularly called christianity but i see it not as a badge but as a way of life for me. what we have in Nigeria today is nothing short of hypocrisy . . .

Imani:
Please let's keep this thread in the romance section and not allow oga Seun to relegate it to the religion board thanks

I get the point.

aisha2:
They have landed on the thread and am out, 4him the chief sentencer and judge.

Same ol', point out the truth and they quickly hide under the skirts of "thou shalt not judge".

aisha2:
Use your head and reason, anyway no need talking to you, because you will only get me a long list of Bible Quotes.

Perhaps you shld get out the bible and read it for urself. I dont bother most people with quotes anymore . . . just seed on stony ground.

aisha2:
Am not against that oh, but i try to understand why you focus on the judgement part and leave out the whole essence of God.

I doubt you have the faintest idea what the "whole essence of God" is.

aisha2:
I have said it before and on the risk of sounding like a broken record: I REFUSE TO BELEIVE ANY PERSON OR RELIGION THAT WOULD MAKE ME BELEIVE THAT GOD WILL HATE A PERSON HE CREATED IN IS OWN IMAGE.

I'm even more convinced you do not understand what the bible is all about.

aisha2:
Abeg make i go with my alice in wonderland dreams of a world without hate and discrimination or segregation since it is such a terrible thing to wish for

enjoy, my sister.

stillwater:
Is SOD spirit or sword of David Just want to know, thanks

Spirit of David.
There can only be one David

Imani:
And you would be gracious enough to enlighten us on the truth and reality?

We can fantasise all we want on "love conquers all" . . . that one only exists in novels.
Spiritual compatibility between couples is very essential for a marriage to work.
The bible says little foxes spoil the vine . . . after the lovey dovey honey moon period when both man and wife settle into the routine of married life, it is those tiny little differences "that didnt matter" while they were dating that will draw them apart.

The only way such marriages will work is if one or both of the couples is simply practicing his or her religion on paper only.
It is hard to see how you will cope with a husband who wants his children dressed taliban-style while you struggle to meet up with bible study.

aisha2:
I ask again who has the right to sdefine ho is right or which religion is wrong? The God i serve is about love, I will not succumb to any mann made doctrine

John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

Sometimes i wonder if we all read the same bible.

This thread is long on idealism, fantasy and alice in wonderland sentiments but extremely short on truth and reality.