@Shaunscot, R u still busy gazing at the star?

Ms. Potato refresh my memory

likeme:

@Shaunscot, R u still busy gazing at the star?

lol, who be this?
Hit me up where I made that statement. ;-)

my guy what are u waiting for, go and tell your friend everything u know about her.
the relationship is already being build on lies, she has not changed, she is only useing virgin to cover up so that she can get married.
save your friend.
marriage is an institution.

Evil, deciet, injustice, lies and various other negative vices have, are and would keep prevailing when good men (people who have a solution, people who know the truth, people who abhor injustice and such manipulation, people like u poster) keep silent.

The power to save a man, your friend from a lifetime of regret lies in your hand. If they get married the burden of being blackmailed in future by others with access to the videos will be shared by this innocent man. The verse i coined out is elaborated upon, its originaly an advice from the BIBLE.
You know what is right to do

If u ask me, (my opinion) i'll say dia's no big deal on dis matter atall.

Op, I, myself has been in a relationship with a love peddler before. When i say love peddler, i mean ASHAWO, Confirm 1, buh as i speak to u now, she's a proudly married gurl with a blessed baby gurl. your friend myt not be d type dat would lyk to roll with "walk about" gurl, or a love-peddler, talkless of goin into a marraige with som1 dat was once a p.orn victim dat even som of her videos clips is stil with u. IF I WIA U, I'll call d gurl, sit her down n ask her to tell my friend d truth. N to tell him dat she's scared to open up before b'cos, she's thinkin maybe she myt loose d him. I can also ask my friend to forgive her seems she has apologised (of which i believe he will, buh i know it's not goin to be an easy task). buh d truth of d matter is, I must let my friend to know about it. Either he know's it through me or her, buh all i know is, i'll NEVER allow my friend to go into dat marraige without tellin him. Den if he decide's to continue with her, FINE! All i know is dat i'v played my part as a good friend! TELL HIM NOW OR NEVER!!!

Let me tell u somhm. . .I lyv a kind of strange lyf dat (maybe same with your friend) if i'm your friend n u refuesd to tell me somhm u know about my fiance before our wedding. den later (after d weddin), u now came to me n start tellin me how my wyf lived in d past, even show me d p.orn video clips, Do u know what i'll do? I'll walk u out of my house immediately, n dat'll be d end of our friendship. N from dat moment, daz wen i'll begin to love my wyfe MORE N MORE!!! Den i'll label u an ENEMY OF PROGRESS b'cos, u don't want d marraige of me n my wyf to progress! (It myt be d taught of your friend also, who knows?) Remember, so many men don't give a fukk! TELLHIM NOW OR NEVER!!!

^
You are very correct.Others may have these videos and may use it to blackmail the couple in future.She is really setting this guy up for gross unhappiness and a feeling of failure in his marriage when the truth comes out.He may even kill her, some people can only take so much.I don't desire a perfect person for a spouse but I resent shame, ridicule and public disgrace.

I hope the poster has heard enough decision to help him make up his mind and if you do not tell him i hope you can live with yourself.

@ poster

I have read through alot of the comments here, and I can tell you that I feel like stabbing some posters like nikkylav & others who are advocating for your silence on the matter.

Do you know how hard it is to change, change doesn't come easy and it doesn't happen in a year or two. It is a continuous and life long process. I have been trying to change simple things about myself like my impatience and intolerance with people who are slow (amongst other things) and I can tell you that its been and still is one hell of a battle. It really does take the grace of God and if you know God then you will know that he is never in a hurry to get things done he always takes his time to do a good/excellent job.

My point is: Your friend's fiance hasn't changed in any way if she can claim to be a virgin after all this time. I don't expect her to spill all of the sordid details about her life or her past because as humans we are entitled to some secrecy in our lives. It would have been nice for her to say i have dated or been with a few men then to claim she is a virgin. For that alone even I can kill her.

I believe in second chances because people always do better, the second time around in most things. But in this case the lady in question does not deserve a second chance if she can lie about her virginity. PLS TELL YOUR FRIEND THE TRUTH

madoba:

@ poster

I have read through alot of the comments here, and I can tell you that I feel like stabbing some posters like nikkylav & others who are advocating for your silence on the matter.
Do you know how hard it is to change, change doesn't come easy and it doesn't happen in a year or two. It is a continuous and life long process. I have been trying to change simple things about myself like my impatience and intolerance with people who are slow (amongst other things) and I can tell you that its been and still is one hell of a battle. It really does take the grace of God and if you know God then you will know that he is never in a hurry to get things done he always takes his time to do a good/excellent job.

My point is: Your friend's fiance hasn't changed in any way if she can claim to be a virgin after all this time. I don't expect her to spill all of the sordid details about her life or her past because as humans we are entitled to some secrecy in our lives. It would have been nice for her to say i have dated or been with a few men then to claim she is a virgin. For that alone even I can kill her.

I believe in second chances because people always do better, the second time around in most things. But in this case the lady in question does not deserve a second chance if she can lie about her virginity. PLS TELL YOUR FRIEND THE TRUTH

That is the thing with Nigerians - They just can't stand people who hv different opinions. Then they wonder why we always hv tribal and religious wars and fights. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Poster asked for opinions. Give yours and vamooze. Live and let live

A question;

How do we know the guy doesn't know already?
He might you know.
He might just not have wanted to tell the poster that she was going for a re- virgin operation. I am just guessing ooo cos after all he funded the check up itself.

post the video here for us to verify, then after that inform him.

The best thing is to tell your friend or talk to the girl and persuade her to tell her husband to be. The funny thing is that your friend might come across the video one way or another. He might even come across it on nairaland. Nothing is hidden under the sun. If you consider this person to be your friend you will tell him.

Ranoscky, you are highly mouthed and you seem to have a great personality even when it comes to humour and being factual. Your response probably coined from reading from others is the best so far as 'tis up to swiftycool to do what is right rather than think and think hence not arriving at a conclusion.

True that so many peeps with different opinions and we all have our wrong deeds in time past and more to come as no one is perfect. (Even Obama smoked pot but didn't prevent him from his aims). I have checked out the gist and various comments and from the OP's comment, it's glaring there's no remorse on the side of the gyal from his assumptions on the check up. If a thing is started on deciet, it will never go anywhere and what if she begins to have complications after the marriage and cannot give birth (even with the HYMENORRHAPHY) Well having said that, follow the advice of Ranoscky or forever remain silent and for whatever you do, BE A MAN and NEVER be SCARED to STATE THE TRUTH IN FRONT OF THEM. That way, I bet they'd be scared to even call you a liar.

Seyibrown, you should check back your first post on this thread and tell me how you are justified in your opinions advicing that he should keep quiet and if she eventually stabs him, then he can spit out (That is WHITEMAIL---or is it because he has evidence) Call a spade a spade.
Also what if she decides to misbehave to swiftycool after the KNOT has been sealed and stamped with witnesses, would his opening up be adviseable then?
All I am saying is you should reason a matter forth and back thoroughly and not stating what comes to your head immediately.

dude, it is none of your business what went down in her past. for your own safety and rest of mind, i will totally stay out of it. this is heavy shumtin. you are about to ruin two lives forever. i dont know about you but i dont want to carry that kind of burden on my conscience and neither do i want to be the purveyor of such a burden. and if she is as bad as you say she was, it will eventually come to light. what is conceived in the dark will always come into the light.
but on your part, act like a real man and stop entertaining 'ameboism'

^^ If the groom was your younger brother, Would you have said the same?

dayokanu:

^^ If the groom was your younger brother, Would you have said the same?

if dude is my younger brother, thats a different story.
friends come and go, family is forever. blood is thicker than water.

^^ LOL,

You know some friends are like brothers even more than Brothers sef

dayokanu:

^^ LOL,

You know some friends are like brothers even more than Brothers sef

you know what ? now that i think about it, if it is my brother i will never tell him. but what i will do is call the girl aside and sternly let her know that i do not approve of her past but i hope she is a changed person and will treat my brother with dignity and respect and that we will both bury her past.

its not in me to do that kinda stuff. it is weakness. doing amebo as a man ? nahhhh that aint me. but like i said i will have a sit down with her and try to confirm she is a changed person. strictly between me and her

@dayokanu, does not matter how close i am to my friend. some territory you just should not cross. this is one of them. let people make their own choices and live with their choices. thats what life is about. freewill. your job as a good friend is to be there and support your friend if katakata burst. it is not your job to coddle another adult (unless of course your friend has downs syndrome or some kind of mental defect where they may need to be protected from other people )

buzugee:

you know what ? now that i think about it, if it is my brother i will never tell him. but what i will do is call the girl aside and sternly let her know that i do not approve of her past but i hope she is a changed person and will treat my brother with dignity and respect and that we will both bury her past.

its not in me to do that kinda stuff. it is weakness. doing amebo as a man ? nahhhh that aint me. but like i said i will have a sit down with her and try to confirm she is a changed person. strictly between me and her

It's like knowing your brother is about to crash because someone sabotaged his brakes and saying 'it's not my business'.

I'd tell him at the earliest opportunity - this is not a matter of hearsay, this is something he's seen with his very own eyes and the girl is claiming virgin?

I wonder the kind of dupes that fall for the virgin stories. . . .maybe they deserve to be scammed.

Choosing his own way is one thing, passing across information and allowing him to decide is another. The best thing to do is make sure he has all the information to make a choice - if he chooses to proceed, that will be his own issue.

debosky:

It's like knowing your brother is about to crash because someone sabotaged his brakes and saying 'it's not my business'.

I'd tell him at the earliest opportunity - this is not a matter of hearsay, this is something he's seen with his very own eyes and the girl is claiming virgin?

I wonder the kind of dupes that fall for the virgin stories. . . .maybe they deserve to be scammed. 

Choosing his own way is one thing, passing across information and allowing him to decide is another. The best thing to do is make sure he has all the information to make a choice - if he chooses to proceed, that will be his own issue.

it is not your job to coddle an adult. you have to let people live. you have to let people make their own choices. if you go around intervening on behalf of all your friends when you think they are about to make an unsavory choice, you will end up with no friends in the end.
and let me get GRAPHIC with this, if your friend is putting his abuna in her cooshie and he still wants to marry her ? that tells you that her cooshie is still nice.
if her cooshie is all lose, i am sure he will know if he is having sex with her. then it will be upto him if he wants to marry a woman with lose cooshie. you see how things work themselves out ? third party not needed.

buzugee:

it is not your job to coddle an adult. you have to let people live. you have to let people make their own choices. if you go around intervening on behalf of all your friends when you think they are about to make an unsavory choice, you will end up with no friends in the end.
and let me get GRAPHIC with this, if your friend is putting his abuna in her cooshie and he still wants to marry her ? that tells you that her cooshie is still nice.
if her cooshie is all lose, i am sure he will know if he is having sex with her. then it will be upto him if he wants to marry a woman with lose cooshie. you see how things work themselves out ? third party not needed. 

Who is coddling? No one is saying don't marry her, this is simply a case of FYI - before you make your decision.

Obviously if he wants to be with her, that is his prerogative but only a dishonest friend will take part in this elaborate deception. Give him the info (even if you do it anonymously) and let him make his decision.

debosky:

Who is coddling? No one is saying don't marry her, this is simply a case of FYI - before you make your decision.

Obviously if he wants to be with her, that is his prerogative but only a dishonest friend will take part in this elaborate deception. Give him the info (even if you do it anonymously) and let him make his decision.

you dont think this behavior smacks of 'arrogance' ? why do you feel like it is your 'position' to give him the info ? who appointed you the 'moral executioner' ? you dont see anything wrong with this type of arrogant, self-righteous, pseudo-moralistic and intrusive behavior in other peoples lives ?

buzugee:

you dont think this behavior smacks of 'arrogance' ? why do you feel like it is your 'position' to give him the info ? who appointed you the 'moral executioner' ? you dont see anything wrong with this type of arrogant, self-righteous, pseudo-moralistic and intrusive behavior in other peoples lives ?

Stop using big words you don't understand. I have made no judgments or decisions - providing information is not an act of moral execution, it is a clear case of FYI.

Besides, this is a close friend, with whom the OP would share a lot of his thoughts and life experiences with. This is simply another step in furtherance of that relationship. To withhold such information would be wrong.

If he feels he doesn't want to be held responsible publicly for any outcomes, he can find anonymous ways to pass on the information.

debosky:

Stop using big words you don't understand. I have made no judgments or decisions - providing information is not an act of moral execution, it is a clear case of FYI.

Besides, this is a close friend, with whom the OP would share a lot of his thoughts and life experiences with. This is simply another step in furtherance of that relationship. To withhold such information would be wrong.

If he feels he doesn't want to be held responsible publicly for any outcomes, he can find anonymous ways to pass on the information.

lol it is not a personal attack on you ooo debosky  but yeah ermm dude quit with the ameboing already. it is unbecoming of a fine upstanding gentleman like yourself  and this goes for all the other amebos too, even yahweh gave us a second chance talk less of a mere mortal like yourselves.
ON A SIDE NOTE, ex-sluts make the best wives because they have been there done that. the ones who have not slutted around before marriage are the ones who will be creeping about on their husbands in marriage. this is the truth. fellas if you want a happy marriage, marry a slut  debosky get you a slut

Never make a ho a housewife, once a ho , A ho who says she has quit is only on temporary leave of absence

One thing is to know,another is to keep it quiet.A saying goes that WISDOM IS REMEMBERING WHAT YOU HEARD BUT FORGETTING WHERE AND FROM WHOM YOU HEARD IT.Now i advice you to put this advice into play because you are between a rock and a hard place and any move you make will definitely have a counter-reaction.As such my advice to you will be to get one on the videos or pictures and send it through an anonymous user(phone) to him. If he calls you to tell you of this,then you can broach the subject.I can certainly assure you that people do not like to hear the truth,esp from their friends.
Notwithstanding,do what you think is right,only then would you have peace.

^^^ What is the essence of being a frend if you cannot tell me the hardened truth undiluted. That is what friends are meant for, We are more that sharing common interest or just aquitances. It's better to hear the truth from a friend than to be hearing the bombshell from an outsider, a stranger. A stranger can use it to abuse you, a friend will use the same information to advise you.

It is not an AMEBO thing, at least it's not a rumour, it's the truth he is speaking about.

i decided i wont reply often on nairaland and this is an exception. if you know love, love for a fellow human being, a friend, you would know that at least it is important that they know who they are getting married to. if you know us (human beings) you would know that we pretend a lot. someone on this list said that he didn't spill the beans in his own case and the couple is getting on well with their life. how dumb. couples in marrital trouble pretend everything is okay until they cannot take it any longer.

how could you have a video like that and you are still hesistating. don't you see the evil in the lady? i am sure they guy has told him about the few escapades he has had and she's telling him she's a virgin. come on, that's one up on your guy's backside.

if you do not know what to do just send your guy the email with the video attached AND MAKE SURE HE WATCHED IT. you can use another email address and ask him to reply when he has watched it. that you will assume he has not watched it until he sends you a reply about it. or tell him you have more which you will send after he has watched and confirmed to you what he saw.

nigerians we are so wicked. that is why the wicked find our land fertile. abroad hookers are not ashamed to be hookers. they have social security numbers and are entitled to the same welfare and care as any other citizen and they are not afraid to tell you that they are really really BAD and they attract the kind of people that they can live with. who even cherish them. Porn stars are married for example. Hookers live in an apartment just like u in other countries.

but in naija, somebody will live a sordid life and will pretend her way into the arms of a hard working man only to mess it up and both of them will continue to live a fake life. faking that everything is fine.

meanwhile the guy is so latently mad that he starts chasing every thing that has a hole in between to the chagrin (abeg jare) of the wife who has done her own chasing earlier in life.

tupac would have said "thats the way it is"

@ Poster - This is a very difficult DILEMMA I suppose.

You said you going to tell your friend over the weekend, have you told him, and what was his reaction/response?

@ NL guyz - Is virginity the criteria of getting marry nowadays?