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Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? - Romance (21) - Nairaland

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Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by lefulefu(m): 3:38pm On Mar 12
Dickhead02:
bros you wicked ooo,you no give her better white man self undecided na Lebanese man you wan carry give her embarassed

Allah shokbar grin grin grin
naija wey we even dey regard indians as caucasians so wetin u go come talk about lebanesecheesy. Make a lebanese man come forward and tell her say he will marry her and take her back to the states wit him and see weda she no go rush d lebanesecheesy.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 3:45pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


You clearly did not read or assimilate anything I typed. So it is irrelevant to respond to much of this.

That said, your last statement epitomizes the contradiction you're blind to but enthusiastically spout. Women in that rural community "take pride in their role as nurturers and custodian of family" because they can't perform the roles of men in that society. The second that village advances to a level where there are no more earthly dangers or men no longer have to exclusively perform roles critical for their survival, those women would subscribe to feminism.

That village is a patriarchy. And if they were to advance by their own means, it'd be due to that same patriarchy. It'd be men taking the political and societal decisions, allocating resources, and defending the fidelity of their social fabric.

Then when that village advances thanks to the patriarchy, the female descendants of these same women who apparently "take pride in their role as nurturers and custodians of family" would say their mothers and female ancestors had been "historically marginalized and oppressed" by the patriarchy.

And if you read my post, you'd note that, as well as where I stated that most matriarchal societies in Asia do not even make men do domestic chores. The matriarch like any patriarch also delegate women to perform these nurturing and custodial tasks.

Knowing this, I can not for the life of me understand your logic that patriarchy has ZERO links to advancement of societies. That's saying all of the decisions taken for the past 300,000 years by the overwhelming majority of homo sapien societies comprising patriarchies had NOTHING to do with our advancement from stone-wielding troglodytes to the modern day smartphone-wielding sophisticates. That is PREPOSTEROUS!

I'm not even going to waste anymore time explaining the patriarchy and introductory sociology and economics to you.

Men did not fail to manage anything. If men failed, you wouldn't be existing today. Mankind would be extinct. They did their best to the best of their ability. The females are rebelling now because they see an opening to wrestle power. If WW3 were to start today, feminism will die a natural death. There'd be no feminist asking for the number of soldiers in the war front to be 50:50. They'd stop calling nurturing unpaid labor.

Feminism is opportunism.

-Lord

hmmmm

You have interesting viewpoints....

But absolving men of the blame for what is going on is disingenuous

You are a typical black man cheesy cheesy
which in reality, your viewpoints are not Terrible

You are right about a lot of feminists being opportunists and all, which is true, and hypocrisy seeping in the feminism movement is clear for all to see.

But as men, we MESSED UP and we are PAYING FOR IT.

Its only a matter of time before the Arab world cracks as well, we are seeing it unravelling

I forgot to add tho, in that village, we had female chiefs and female priests and all (a juju zone I tell u) so the women were just as involved in the political decision making to an extent

I am a social scientist, so all these concepts are familiar to me, so thanks, but I don't need you to teach me those concepts.


like I said before, men of the 21st century better retrace their steps or things will blow over.

more specifically, we as Igbos better change, or the coming decades will be a bumpy ride, take that from me
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Dickhead02: 3:46pm On Mar 12
lefulefu:
naija wey we even dey regard indians as caucasians so wetin u go come talk about lebanesecheesy. Make a lebanese man come forward and tell her say he will marry her and take her back to the states wit him and see weda she no go rush d lebanesecheesy.
grin grin grin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Joromi12: 3:48pm On Mar 12
Amberon11:
In biblical times women didn't have careers. They only tended to their husband and kids. Today, women have careers and sometimes can even be more successful than their husbands. You people need to define what you want.
If you want an illiterate village girl with no education and career, go for her as that is the only kind of female who will be 100% available to cook, clean etc but you people want a career woman, cook, cleaner, dish washer, washing machine etc all in one person. Doesn't work that way.

Feminism is not the problem. The problem is men not being willing to take a dose of their own medicine.
who pays the bills women who pay do it reluctantly or out of the mans condition
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 3:53pm On Mar 12
gensteejay:

You raised some powerful points here.

Are you sure you're not arguing with a female member, disguised as a guy?

I am not taking sides in this gender-centric argument, though.

I am a man of course

But I have come to terms with how we as men, are contributors to this madness we see today in our societies

African men especially (and indeed conservative punks) have been raised over the decades to do as they please, be careless and lack accountability

that is why we have so many senseless men out there


Times have changed, but that Inclination has refused to leave most of una
that is why you all are crying foul

To imagine lord saying that men played NO role whatsoever in these rebellions (because that is how I see it) is laughable

For him to see nothing wrong with the repugnant customs and practices common with Igbos and Africans in general is even more laughable.
Continue to bury your heads in the sand you hear?

The era of conservatism being strong is about to be thrown in the ditch

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by grandstar(m): 3:53pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


You clearly did not read or assimilate anything I typed. So it is irrelevant to respond to much of this.

That said, your last statement epitomizes the contradiction you're blind to but enthusiastically spout. Women in that rural community "take pride in their role as nurturers and custodian of family" because they can't perform the roles of men in that society. The second that village advances to a level where there are no more earthly dangers or men no longer have to exclusively perform roles critical for their survival, those women would subscribe to feminism.

That village is a patriarchy. And if they were to advance by their own means, it'd be due to that same patriarchy. It'd be men taking the political and societal decisions, allocating resources, and defending the fidelity of their social fabric.

Then when that village advances thanks to the patriarchy, the female descendants of these same women who apparently "take pride in their role as nurturers and custodians of family" would say their mothers and female ancestors had been "historically marginalized and oppressed" by the patriarchy.

And if you read my post, you'd note that, as well as where I stated that most matriarchal societies in Asia do not even make men do domestic chores. The matriarch like any patriarch also delegate women to perform these nurturing and custodial tasks.

Knowing this, I can not for the life of me understand your logic that patriarchy has ZERO links to advancement of societies. That's saying all of the decisions taken for the past 300,000 years by the overwhelming majority of homo sapien societies comprising patriarchies had NOTHING to do with our advancement from stone-wielding troglodytes to the modern day smartphone-wielding sophisticates. That is PREPOSTEROUS!

I'm not even going to waste anymore time explaining the patriarchy and introductory sociology and economics to you.

Men did not fail to manage anything. If men failed, you wouldn't be existing today. Mankind would be extinct. They did their best to the best of their ability. The females are rebelling now because they see an opening to wrestle power. If WW3 were to start today, feminism will die a natural death. There'd be no feminist asking for the number of soldiers in the war front to be 50:50. They'd stop calling nurturing unpaid labor.

Feminism is opportunism.

-Lord

Ugosample

In India today, the almighty mother-in-law's powers are being trimmed and defanged by empowered middle class women liberated from economic dependence on their husbands hence can show his mum the door.

As countries get richer, women become more empowered and independent.

In the past, many women here tolerated their husbands having additional wives and mistresses but now we have women dumping such husbands. They are financially able to cater for their kids alone and no longer terrified of an uncertain future for the kids were they to leave.

Society changes as it grows richer. Many couples have only one child or at most 2 now. Homosexuality now taboo will be tolerated when per capita income hits about $15,000 or even before that.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by 4FACEADELEKE(m): 3:54pm On Mar 12
TaminaliaCatapa:


Is it by force, we Nigerian men say we don’t want black Americans?

your obsession with Africans is why you won’t leave nairaland......hahahahahahaha
Bro I don't like black American women,I don't know why most naija men don't like them.I have also heard bizarre stories about them from many Nigerians living abroad

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by LUCAS99: 3:54pm On Mar 12
cococandy:
Not Cali

Yea I like it too

Ok...
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 3:58pm On Mar 12
grandstar:


Ugosample

In India today, the almighty mother-in-law's powers are being trimmed and defanged by empowered middle class women liberated from economic dependence on their husbands hence can show his mum the door.

As countries get richer, women become more empowered and independent.

In the past, many women here tolerated their husbands having additional wives and mistresses but now we have women dumping such husbands. They are financially able to cater for their kids alone and no longer terrified of an uncertain future for the kids were they to leave.

Society changes as it grows richer. Many couples have only one child or at most 2 now. Homosexuality now taboo will be tolerated when per capita income hits about $15,000 or even before that.


indeed.

That's what I'm trying to say..

In times past, so many things were heavily stacked against women (by men who designed some of the norms) And they had to rebel to remove that yoke

the guy you quoted is saying that the men had no blame whatsoever.

Why woukd a man even threaten to throw his wife out I the first place?

some did throw them out and they became destitute
And the kids suffered.
This happened A LOT

Now we are at the receiving end and we are all crying foul


What you sow is what you reap

now the extreme feminists will soon reap what they have sowed too, their own is coming
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by gensteejay(m): 4:00pm On Mar 12
Ugosample:
I am a man of course
Ok. I am non-committal about these gender-sensitive arguments on Nl. They could be time-wasting and occasionally pointless.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by LordAdam16: 4:03pm On Mar 12
gensteejay:

You raised some powerful points here.

Are you sure you're not arguing with a female member, disguised as a guy?

I am not taking sides in this gender-centric argument, though.

No he is a guy.

He is one of the millions of guys out there who have been brainwashed to see feminism as a noble venture rather than the opportunistic take-over attempt that it is.

Little by little they let the feminazis chip away at their liberties, then one day they wake up and realize they've been screwed over, then start calling for men's rights and forming movements like MGTOW.

Only that the feminists with their newly-ingratiated power given to them by these same misled men would start calling them incels and petulant bigots whenever they raise any objections.

The Arab, Asian, African, and Eastern European men are across the pond looking at them and saying you know what, thanks but no thanks. We are misogynists, no f*cking problem. Better to be called a misogynist when I call the shots than to be called an incel when I raise a complaint. Because as our people say, na from clap, dem dey tk enter dance.

Just imagine feminists asking for boys to be given dolls to tone down toxic masculinity. Like WTF?

In Ancient Sparta, while the boys were sent to the Agoge as young as 7, girls stayed back to help their mothers and old men run the city. Slaves captured in wars did most of the menial jobs. At age 20, those that survive the Agoge, graduate and are enlisted into the army. When leaving for a battle, the women gave the men one simple instruction--either return with your shield on your arm or with you lying on top of your shield. Defeat in combat was worse than castration.

Today, Greek feminists in Laconia will also wake up and say the patriarchy had always marginalized and oppressed women.

How do you marginalize folks who had to stay in the secure confines of city walls raising kids and farming while the men ran head on into flying arrows, stationed pikes, drawn swords on the battle field. Then when they survive all that, you expect them to come home and place you on a pedestal so you can call the shots. Because your vagina is made up of pixie dust.

-Lord

14 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by lefulefu(m): 4:03pm On Mar 12
4FACEADELEKE:

Bro I don't like black American women,I don't know why most naija men don't like them.I have also heard bizarre stories about them from many Nigerians living abroad
wat type of bizzarre stories?
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Meliaen(f): 4:08pm On Mar 12
Boss13:


Awww such a sad thing. My wife is not like you little devil sent to make men miserable

That is what you tell yourself when you're feeling delusional. You= Monster. Your wife=your slave. Your moniker says it all Boss_monster_13.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 4:10pm On Mar 12
gensteejay:

Ok. I am non-committal about these gender-sensitive arguments on Nl. They could be time-wasting and occasionally pointless.

True
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 4:16pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


No he is a guy.

He is one of the millions of guys out there who have been brainwashed to see feminism as a noble venture rather than the opportunistic take-over attempt that it is.

Little by little they let the feminazis chip away at their liberties, then one day they wake up and realize they've been screwed over, then start calling for men's rights and forming movements like MGTOW.

Only that the feminists with their newly-ingratiated power given to them by these same misled men would start calling them incels and petulant bigots whenever they raise any objections.

The Arab, Asian, African, and Eastern European men are across the pond looking at them and saying you know what, thanks but no thanks. We are misogynists, no f*cking problem. Better to be called a misogynist when I call the shots than to be called an incel when I raise a complaint. Because as our people say, na from clap, dem dey tk enter dance.

Just imagine feminists asking for boys to be given dolls to tone down toxic masculinity. Like WTF?

In Ancient Sparta, while the boys were sent to the Agoge as young as 7, girls stayed back to help their mothers and old men run the city. Slaves captured in wars did most of the menial jobs. At age 20, those that survive the Agoge, graduate and are enlisted into the army. When leaving for a battle, the women gave the men one simple instruction--either return with your shield on your arm or with you lying on top of your shield. Defeat in combat was worse than castration.

Today, Greek feminists in Laconia will also wake up and say the patriarchy had always marginalized and oppressed women.

How do you marginalize folks who had to stay in the secure confines of city walls raising kids and farming while the men ran head on into flying arrows, stationed pikes, drawn swords on the battle field. Then when they survive all that, you expect them to come home and place you on a pedestal so you can call the shots. Because your vagina is made up of pixie dust.

-Lord

You are an intelligent man.

I give that to you.


We agree on certain things and not on others.

We agree that extreme (3rd wave feminist) are hypocrites for example.
we also agree that man should do man stuff and women do women stuff as well

Toxic masculinity is a shambolic term, and now that you have raised it, I think it's a whole of crap!

But we don't agree on a couple of things
Like the way you belittle the contribution of women to the survival of our civilisation tilldate (which I consider a bit misogynist btw)
And how you say that men bear NO BLAME for the rebellion we see today.
the level of blame may be subjective, but its there


my point is clear.

And I'm sure you understand it.

Feminists have allowed extremists in their ranks, and it has turned it to another thing
But still, feminism in the real sense of it is not the EVIL

It's the extremists that need to be locked up in a mental home

it's good to see you again
kinda missed those your old posts

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Randy91(m): 4:22pm On Mar 12
lefulefu:
na d first time be dis wey i dey notice ur headlampscheesy. Na really asset i must say.see as dem setcheesy. My friend Randy91 no dey joke with watermelons dat yearcheesy.


Facial look=ZERO!
Boobby=Substandardcheesycheesy
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Mar 12
Jirair:

I'd like to jump in on this. Western women are also not marrying western men. It is not as if the decision is solely for the man to make. Some of us only want to get married once in our lifetime, hence it is imperative to have a hand in that choice. We are not cattles. More women are choosing to remain single because we want to wait for our person/take our time to find him. I have been single for most of my life and will continue to be until I find my person. If someone asks me to marry him and I feel he is not genuine, we are incompatible, he has questionable character, doesn't treat me well, I will thank him but decline.

western women are not marrying western men because of their unrealistic expectations. when a woman idealised what a relationship is supposed to be and when reality says otherwise, it is hard for her to let go

i will like to ask you, what are the attributes of your dream man? i am guessing that you are part of the ladies who believes in looking for the perfect man of your fantasies, the perfect man that will sweep you off your feet, no man exists like that, there is no perfect man likewise no perfect woman.

women now have rights, why should you need a man, when you can get child support, the govt can take care of you, you can decide to sleep with any one without the consequences, thanks to birth control, you can now work, society has emancipated you, you can now live independently and in fact earn more money, why need a man. in my opinion, i think western women have forgotten what is to be a woman or even how to flirt, thanks to laws and feminism making sure women become men.

From experience, women who tend to say, i dont need a man, i will be single, i love been single and all sort of single slogans, tend to be the neediest women ever, they are just using a protective mechanism to cover up their insecurities. what i know is that a woman's attraction has a window period and i believe when she is in her attractive period she needs to use that time to land a good man because as beauty fades so does her admirers and during this period of losing admirers, she becomes desperate and falls into the hands of bad men.

As for western men, they have seen that a woman's power is in marriage, they have seen that the court system and the law does not favour them, while kill themselves, when they can just bang any girl, have kids, live together and not marry her or get submissive and feminine women from asia, south america and eastern europe. And for those single western women when they are old and bored of ther dogs and cats, you see them in the carribeans soliciting for sex from the natives or been victims of romance scams.

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 4:29pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


No he is a guy.

He is one of the millions of guys out there who have been brainwashed to see feminism as a noble venture rather than the opportunistic take-over attempt that it is.

Little by little they let the feminazis chip away at their liberties, then one day they wake up and realize they've been screwed over, then start calling for men's rights and forming movements like MGTOW.

Only that the feminists with their newly-ingratiated power given to them by these same misled men would start calling them incels and petulant bigots whenever they raise any objections.

The Arab, Asian, African, and Eastern European men are across the pond looking at them and saying you know what, thanks but no thanks. We are misogynists, no f*cking problem. Better to be called a misogynist when I call the shots than to be called an incel when I raise a complaint. Because as our people say, na from clap, dem dey tk enter dance.

Just imagine feminists asking for boys to be given dolls to tone down toxic masculinity. Like WTF?

In Ancient Sparta, while the boys were sent to the Agoge as young as 7, girls stayed back to help their mothers and old men run the city. Slaves captured in wars did most of the menial jobs. At age 20, those that survive the Agoge, graduate and are enlisted into the army. When leaving for a battle, the women gave the men one simple instruction--either return with your shield on your arm or with you lying on top of your shield. Defeat in combat was worse than castration.

Today, Greek feminists in Laconia will also wake up and say the patriarchy had always marginalized and oppressed women.

How do you marginalize folks who had to stay in the secure confines of city walls raising kids and farming while the men ran head on into flying arrows, stationed pikes, drawn swords on the battle field. Then when they survive all that, you expect them to come home and place you on a pedestal so you can call the shots. Because your vagina is made up of pixie dust.

-Lord

you know, the western world is in relative peacetime, let another world war come and see this so-called feminists run to men to protect them but by that time they would have feminised them, that the feminists and the feminised man will be clear out of the surface of the earth, after that will they realise their mistakes and let boys be boys.

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 4:43pm On Mar 12
wetdick:


you know, the western world is in relative peacetime, let another world war come and see this so-called feminists run to men to protect them but by that time they would have feminised them, that the feminists and the feminised man will be clear out of the surface of the earth, after that will they realise their mistakes and let boys be boys.

yes

men should be allowed to be men undecided

We defend and protect our own

Like lions tongue
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Raalsalghul: 4:48pm On Mar 12
kongolo:
When will Nigerian men borrow sense from other men in the world and turn their backs on this archaic practice called marriage?I will never understand why any man would be so eager to live with a woman in thesame space for 1week talk more of 1 to 10years
Careful, they'll label you gay.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by highcollide: 5:06pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


First off, I'm not sure how you read this sentence of mine:



And somehow you interpreted it as "countries advancing because of 'patriarchy'."

Nation building requires a lot of moving pieces that have to interact in the right way for there to be advancements. I simply said they're advancing and becoming wealthy, but not abandoning their patriarchy. They have the choice to but they aren't.

That's why Russia jailed a feminist blogger for inciting hate against men. Egypt jailed a feminist for making an uncorroborated sexual assault claim against a taxi driver. These are countries advancing but sticking with their patriarchy. Women can vote, they can drive cars, they can even assume political office, but they have lines women can't cross.

And every day I find it harder to fault their choice. For example, I'm pro-choice. Women have a right to decide if they want to keep a baby or not. But I have a term limit--first trimester. However, there are pro-choice absolutists in the US pushing for women to have the right to abort newborns during birth or after birth. They're calling it after-birth abortion, when by any reasonable definition of it, it really is infanticide.

And this is not just alt-right propaganda. The governor of Virginia supported it after a female state legislator pushed the bill. That's what happens when you give women a meter.

And the funny part is that I'm antimoralist, can understand the logic behind their extreme calls, but even I know it's a cuckoo call.

That's what my point is about, not your misinterpretation of making it seem patriarchy is responsible for economic growth.

________


And even if I were to debate that sentiment, it certainly would be a lot clearer. Because even in most Asian matriarchal societies, men don't do domestic chores. The matriarch organizes women in her family for child rearing, house cleaning, and other traditional feminine roles in patriarchal societies.

Even among Bonobos, matriarchs and high-ranking females give their sons male privilege and in-fighting is just as prevalent as any ape society. Then among Chimpanzees, recent research has uncovered the nuance of the patriarchy and how alpha males aren't just outsized brute males who lord over submissive, voiceless females; but leaders who have to serve their troops, form changing alliances, provoke admiration, and continually convince the female clan that they have what it takes to lead.

This entire idea that patriarchy is a cancer that should be excised goes against the spirit of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. All of our sissified, docile cousins (from other human species in the homo genus to the ardipithecus) are extinct. Men told the womenfolk to stay back and raise kids while they hunted animals many times their size like the mammoth and after that regularly go on multi-year war campaigns, because women on average are terrible hunters and fighters.

I don't know how many feminists, like our residents cococandy and co, would relish the opportunity of going after a sabre-tooth tiger attacking the community with only stone tools. Whereas able men of fighting age would be rallied, much like the compulsory draft for males in the US, to go after a beast whose biting force can crack skulls like a popsicle.

Women did not enter the workplace in the US until there was a world war. With men giving their lives in the trenches, women had to join the war effort by taking jobs in industries. And this could only work out because the first and second industrial revolutions had eliminated a lot of manual work in favor of machines. Who designed and developed these machines? The patriarchy. Why? Because of the Patriarchy and for the Patriarchy?

Today, we've advanced so much and are now in the knowledge economy, heavily reducing the need for manual labor, and as such women can participate. And what thanks did the patriarchy get for that? Vilification.

Even then, fewer women choose to do the most necessary and the most dangerous jobs required for the advancement of human civilization. Instead of going into STEM, they rather want to go into gender studies. Rather than take construction, truck driving jobs, with high work-related mortality they instead want to take administrative jobs. Today, men account for 90+% of all workplace fatalities.

And the same men who have to go several miles underground to dig coal or work in oil rigs to source for the fuel that'd power the devices that make their lives easier somehow are the embodiments of toxic masculinity who they waste no time denigrating with the same inventions made by men and the patriarchy.

So while patriarchy is not solely responsible for the advancement of human society, it sure explains a lot. And by a lot, I mean over 300,000 years.

-Lord
ordinary bridge that feminists built to prove a point to men, collapsed in just one week.

Feminists are a bunch of cry babies.

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by LordAdam16: 5:10pm On Mar 12
Ugosample:


hmmmm

You have interesting viewpoints....

But absolving men of the blame for what is going on is disingenuous

You are a typical black man cheesy cheesy
which in reality, your viewpoints are not Terrible

You are right about a lot of feminists being opportunists and all, which is true, and hypocrisy seeping in the feminism movement is clear for all to see.

But as men, we MESSED UP and we are PAYING FOR IT.

Its only a matter of time before the Arab world cracks as well, we are seeing it unravelling

I forgot to add tho, in that village, we had female chiefs and female priests and all (a juju zone I tell u) so the women were just as involved in the political decision making to an extent

I am a social scientist, so all these concepts are familiar to me, so thanks, but I don't need you to teach me those concepts.


like I said before, men of the 21st century better retrace their steps or things will blow over.

more specifically, we as Igbos better change, or the coming decades will be a bumpy ride, take that from me

As you well know, I'm a brutal realist.

And my viewpoints are informed by nuance. Not too long ago, it was customary for a prince who won a power struggle to find any opposing member of his family or a rival family and massacre them all. It wasn't just acceptable, it was necessary. Because if you didn't do that, you just painted a large bullseye on your own a$$.

A large powerful state will coerce all of its close far weaker neighbors and villages to pay fealty with taxes, and any rebellions or objections will be dealt with swiftly. By dealt with, I mean committing genocide, giving the women as wives to soldiers, and making the kids slaves. This wasn't just acceptable, it was necessary. Because if you didn't do that, that weaker neighbor will be launching ground for a more formidable adversary to launch an offensive.

This was the case all over the world from sub-Saharan Africa to the Far East.

It is under this brutal way of life with life expectancy of under 35 years that men held most of the power. Men held most of the power because they bore most of the costs directly. Their necks were on the line, but figuratively and literally. If you weren't brutal, weren't politically adept, your wives and daughters will be raped or converted into slaves, pregnant women will be carved open, and kids will be captured as slaves or slammed into walls.

The men saw it as a responsibility and dealt with it to the best of their ability. We're guys debating this on an online community, guys our age then were on months-long fighting expeditions. Survival was the name of the game, rights and discussions about rights had no airtime.

Plato considered the potential equality of men and women but Ancient Greece was just as famous for its regular in-fighting as its philosophy. Plato himself was sold into slavery due to politics.

So when activists talk about marginalization or oppression of women by the ancient patriarchy, I'm at a loss because by their standards, modern emancipation of women as we know it was virtually impossible.

You couldn't give women suffrage because there was no such thing as democracy. Even then, the Catholic church allowed some women of high standing to sit and vote in assemblies. Today, many of those practices are history, but a lot of people often forget just how long and tortuous and the number of deaths that led us to this relatively better situation we're in. Today, there are still civil wars in places like the Congo, and I can assure you no one there is talking about the rights of women. The women there would trade rights for momentary peace.

The moment some of these brutal practices started ending, the patriarchy started doing away with some of the archaic traditions. From ending slavery (which by the way still exists in some parts of the world including Mauritania one of our neighbors) to giving women suffrage.

So I'm not going to discount 300,000 years of struggles to achieve the right conditions for everyone to be fairly represented because a bunch of loudmouths think it's much better to guilt-trip men to achieve their goals. Men have nothing to apologize for.

If you think it's easy to give women and minorities rights. Go to Yemen or Syria and campaign for women's rights. Not sit behind your phone or go to march on the streets in a peaceful country with military budgets of billions of dollars wearing pink hats and raising infantile fists while denouncing men and the patriarchy like you had any idea what it took to guarantee any of the privileges you enjoy.

As for the female chiefs and female priests in that rural community, ancient Egypt had female Pharaohs and priestesses. So I don't know what your point is. And you know the interesting part, female Pharaohs dressed like men. I guess that's part of the historical marginalization of women.

-Lord

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 5:14pm On Mar 12
Ugosample:



You have a point.


BUT!


Nigerian women have a special way of screwing over good men.
Maybe you are not Nigerian or grew up in Nigeria
we know ourselves very well.

The messsed up society promote one taking advantage of each other and being "smart"

That is why a Nigerian man would want to trick the wife, overwork her and still be forming boss on America

And that is why the woman will pretend to like the man till she gets her green card and then screw him over.

it's a cat and mouse game


If the man is straight and he is fortunate to find a Nigerian woman who is straight, he is blessed

or he comes back to marry his heartthrob That he dated and loved prior to travelling, that one is also good, because at least you.know her to a degree, and the incentive of green card was not there as at then


any other thing?

forget it
No, I am not a Nigerian, I am white American, I had a Nigerian fiance whom I brought to USA, bad experience

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


As you well know, I'm a brutal realist.

And my viewpoints are informed by nuance. Not too long ago, it was customary for a prince who won a power struggle to find any opposing member of his family or a rival family and massacre them all. It wasn't just acceptable, it was necessary. Because if you didn't do that, you just painted a large bullseye on your own a$$.

A large powerful state will coerce all of its close far weaker neighbors and villages to pay fealty with taxes, and any rebellions or objections will be dealt with swiftly. By dealt with, I mean committing genocide, giving the women as wives to soldiers, and making the kids slaves. This wasn't just acceptable, it was necessary. Because if you didn't do that, that weaker neighbor will be launching ground for a more formidable adversary to launch an offensive.

This was the case all over the world from sub-Saharan Africa to the Far East.

It is under this brutal way of life with life expectancy of under 35 years that men held most of the power. Men held most of the power because they bore most of the costs directly. Their necks were on the line, but figuratively and literally. If you weren't brutal, weren't politically adept, your wives and daughters will be raped or converted into slaves, pregnant women will be carved open, and kids will be captured as slaves or slammed into walls.

The men saw it as a responsibility and dealt with it to the best of their ability. We're guys debating this on an online community, guys our age then were on months-long fighting expeditions. Survival was the name of the game, rights and discussions about rights had no airtime.

Plato considered the potential equality of men and women but Ancient Greece was just as famous for its regular in-fighting as its philosophy. Plato himself was sold into slavery due to politics.

So when activists talk about marginalization or oppression of women by the ancient patriarchy, I'm at a loss because by their standards, modern emancipation of women as we know it was virtually impossible.

You couldn't give women suffrage because there was no such thing as democracy. Even then, the Catholic church allowed some women of high standing to sit and vote in assemblies. Today, many of those practices are history, but a lot of people often forget just how long and tortuous and the number of deaths that led us to this relatively better situation we're in. Today, there are still civil wars in places like the Congo, and I can assure you no one there is talking about the rights of women. The women there would trade rights for momentary peace.

The moment some of these brutal practices started ending, the patriarchy started doing away with some of the archaic traditions. From ending slavery (which by the way still exists in some parts of the world including Mauritania one of our neighbors) to giving women suffrage.

So I'm not going to discount 300,000 years of struggles to achieve the right conditions for everyone to be fairly represented because a bunch of loudmouths think it's much better to guilt-trip men to achieve their goals. Men have nothing to apologize for.

If you think it's easy to give women and minorities rights. Go to Yemen or Syria and campaign for women's rights. Not sit behind your phone or go to march on the streets in a peaceful country with military budgets of billions of dollars wearing pink hats and raising infantile fists while denouncing men and the patriarchy like you had any idea what it took to guarantee any of the privileges you enjoy.

As for the female chiefs and female priests in that rural community, ancient Egypt had female Pharaohs and priestesses. So I don't know what your point is. And you know the interesting part, female Pharaohs dressed like men. I guess that's part of the historical marginalization of women.

-Lord

this western feminists are hypocrites, when their forefathers were benefiting from slavery and bringing in the spoils for their mothers to eat, they didnt complain even till today when US and other western armies are in iraq and other countries bringing back the spoils of their conquests,like oil deals and lucrative construction contracts, many of these feminist are benefiting from it without complaining.

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by highcollide: 5:16pm On Mar 12
gensteejay:

You raised some powerful points here.

Are you sure you're not arguing with a female member, disguised as a guy?

I am not taking sides in this gender-centric argument, though.
a woman is behind that moniker. She's doing a poor job at masking her identity.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by LordAdam16: 5:22pm On Mar 12
grandstar:


Ugosample

In India today, the almighty mother-in-law's powers are being trimmed and defanged by empowered middle class women liberated from economic dependence on their husbands hence can show his mum the door.

As countries get richer, women become more empowered and independent.

In the past, many women here tolerated their husbands having additional wives and mistresses but now we have women dumping such husbands. They are financially able to cater for their kids alone and no longer terrified of an uncertain future for the kids were they to leave.

Society changes as it grows richer. Many couples have only one child or at most 2 now. Homosexuality now taboo will be tolerated when per capita income hits about $15,000 or even before that.


That's all fine and good, but how is it that women are now financially able to cater for their kids alone?

How did such a society come about? How did we go from cave men hunting wild beasts and dueling to modern 'peoplekind' who only have to commute to a large building (the mall) for groceries and can afford to outlaw weapons?

Women see men as the enemy who has been oppressing them for centuries, conveniently discounting the fact that they didn't have the wherewithal to do the oppressing, and that the fact that they have a voice now is because men molded such a society where their voice can be heard.

Molding such a society did not happen overnight and required mind-boggling sacrifices that only men could make.

-Lord

1 Like

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by highcollide: 5:32pm On Mar 12
Ugosample:


You are an intelligent man.

I give that to you.


We agree on certain things and not on others.

We agree that extreme (3rd wave feminist) are hypocrites for example.
we also agree that man should do man stuff and women do women stuff as well

Toxic masculinity is a shambolic term, and now that you have raised it, I think it's a whole of crap!

But we don't agree on a couple of things
Like the way you belittle the contribution of women to the survival of our civilisation tilldate (which I consider a bit misogynist btw)
And how you say that men bear NO BLAME for the rebellion we see today.
the level of blame may be subjective, but its there


my point is clear.

And I'm sure you understand it.

Feminists have allowed extremists in their ranks, and it has turned it to another thing
But still, feminism in the real sense of it is not the EVIL

It's the extremists that need to be locked up in a mental home

it's good to see you again
kinda missed those your old posts
instead of attacking men on social media, won't it be sensible for you to weed out the extremists and work on improving the ideology of feminism?


I still put it to you that Women have done almost nothing in pushing civilization to this level compared to men.


Even this present times, there are equal opportunities, we get to same education, we fight for the same jobs, we contest in the same elections, where are women marginalised?

Have you ever asked yourself why men have shorter lifespan than women?


I ask again, are you willing to give up your benefits in your quest for your so-called equality?

Materiality leave, alimony, protection, the special treatments you get by being a woman (a man shouldn't hit a woman, special treatment for pregnant women etc),are you willing to be drafted in wars like men?


Are you willing to lose the rights you enjoy in divorce cases?


Equal rights mean equal fights, are you willing to be treated like a man by men?

Because you cannot want equality and still maintain the benefits that men don't enjoy.

2 Likes

Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by grandstar(m): 5:37pm On Mar 12
LordAdam16:


That's all fine and good, but how is it that women are now financially able to cater for their kids alone?

How did such a society come about? How did we go from cave men hunting wild beasts and dueling to modern 'peoplekind' who only have to commute to a large building (the mall) for groceries and can afford to outlaw weapons?

Women see men as the enemy who has been oppressing them for centuries, conveniently discounting the fact that they didn't have the wherewithal to do the oppressing, and that the fact that they have a voice now is because men molded such a society where their voice can be heard.

Molding such a society did not happen overnight and required mind-boggling sacrifices that only men could make.

-Lord

In the era when brawn was king, men would obviously dominate the weaker sex, the female.

This continued for generations and felt it was their inherent right to dominate the woman

Now, we live in an era where human rights, cash and knowledge are increasingly becoming king and women are increasingly being liberated as they now have access to these.

Even in the brawn sector, many women are learning martial arts in order to defend themselves from all kinds of physical abuse and dominance and may umfortunately include her partner or spouse.

Men will increasingly believe they have the inherent right to lead as that is their God given role even as their power ebbs.

A man who is secure about his role and has no insecurity about a success female being his spouse and still ready to love her completely will succeed in getting her love and devotion. At the end, is back to square one
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Nobody: 5:39pm On Mar 12
Amberon11:
Here comes the biggest hypocrite in all of nairaland. Western kids wether male of female talk to their parents anyhow they like. I've seen little boys on Maury who actually beat their moms up. Never saw a female who hit their parents. So the male kids are even more guilty in that aspect.

Secondly, you are wrong on the divorce ration. Contrary to what you cited , 8 out 10 divorce cases are actually caused by the adultery on the part of the men and we all know that western women don't tolerate bullshittt.

True. He cheated on me and he is history. Don't even touch me anymore
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by harizonal123(m): 5:50pm On Mar 12
.
Re: Nigerian Men Abroad, How Did You Choose Your Significant Half? by Ugosample(m): 5:54pm On Mar 12
highcollide:
instead of attacking men on social media, won't it be sensible for you to weed out the extremists and work on improving the ideology of feminism?


I still put it to you that Women have done almost nothing in pushing civilization to this level compared to men.


Even this present times, there are equal opportunities, we get to same education, we fight for the same jobs, we contest in the same elections, where are women marginalised?

Have you ever asked yourself why men have shorter lifespan than women?


I ask again, are you willing to give up your benefits in your quest for your so-called equality?

Materiality leave, alimony, protection, the special treatments you get by being a woman (a man shouldn't hit a woman, special treatment for pregnant women etc),are you willing to be drafted in wars like men?


Are you willing to lose the rights you enjoy in divorce cases?


Equal rights mean equal fights, are you willing to be treated like a man by men?

Because you cannot want equality and still maintain the benefits that men don't enjoy.


bros I'm a man o

besides

you raised valid points

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