Nigerian parents of this Generation Need to understand that its difficult to adopt the way they have been brought up to children that have been born and raised abroad , etc UK take for instance my situation MY parents with relationships they want me to :
ONE
* Marry a Nigerian
TWO
* Marry someone who is Igbo
THREE
* Marry someone from my Village
FOUR
* Marry someone that you have done your research on the FAMILY
FIVE
* Marry someone that YOUR PARENTS has TO be happy with Even tho its your happyness should be the most important issue


My girlfriend is jamaican i really do Love her But my parents make me feel like iam wasting my time!,

i dont know whether its best to just go wid the flow and in time they will just get used to her


everyone is welcome to this discussion!

Let me know your thoughts


sketch.

sketch18:

Nigerian parents of this Generation Need to understand that its difficult to adopt the way they have been brought up to children that have been born and raised abroad , etc UK take for instance my situation MY parents with relationships they want me to :
ONE
* Marry a Nigerian
TWO
* Marry someone who is Igbo
THREE
* Marry someone from my Village
FOUR
* Marry someone that you have done your research on the FAMILY
FIVE
* Marry someone that YOUR PARENTS has TO be happy with Even tho its your happyness should be the most important issue


My girlfriend is jamaican i really do Love her But my parents make me feel like iam wasting my time!,

i don't know whether its best to just go wid the flow and in time they will just get used to her


everyone is welcome to this discussion!

Let me know your thoughts


sketch.

Go for it guy continue with the affair and be a man, much later your parents will see reasons and accept her.

@sketch,

Your story sounds so familiar that it makes me think i know U

this happens to every nigerian guy in Lonon/UK, its like it is the curse of being british Nigerian

My parents asw well dont want white, carribean and not even Igbo, so I advice you worry less about your parents and focus on the girl.

QUESTIONS YOU WANNA ASK YOURSELF

Does she respect my country and culture?
Is she the marraige type (not all these "dutty wine girls" ) ?
Can she be enough to support me mentally, emotionally and financially if my family deserts me?

Will she always make me happy, (koko) ?

if you answer YES to all these questions, then say goodbye to Akpu and Welcome to Jerk chicken

hello awoof /Leadmyster,

how you doing? i really appriciate your comments, its so hard because for me being the oldest you have a level of responsibilty you have to maintain for your younger ones,  but at the same time you need to live your life! and some how they need to understand this. and  its good to know that there are fellow nigerian people out there that feel where iam comming from.  

its like then you decide you wanna be a MAN for your self; all of a sudden they want to cast you out of the family

i feel they think alot about what other members of the family think.

"ah ah abomination ADE will never do that to his own family" lol lol

do you believe that our generation of nigerians are really gonna change the old traditions?



and like awoof said, i guess i just need to MAN UP!  

@sketch,

I'd say if ure happy with lady, then go on and do it. They'll come back after a few years when you lot celebrate your wedding anniversary Lol

The generations is already changing, but our parents cannot be changed, its unfortunately too late

I'm definitely gonna be the one choosing my wife, and i dont care if she's australian or polish

Are your parents marrying your WIFE? So why should WE suffer

Amen! to that Leadmyster

Nice one

jammo girl?? i support your parents jare. the one who'll say "hi" to your mother and walk past like it was the neighbor 4 blocks away who came to borrow your frying pan, instead of a well-cultured naija woman who'll go down on her knees and say "good morning ma". and to think of the egbo she'll be smoking in your house?

ok!! i'm bleeping confused today!

follow your heart, bro! if the ibo girl they get for you now misbehaves, nobody'll share your pain. shey u dey watsh naija home video na? Ramsey Nouah will say he wants to marry Genevieve Nnaji, but Liz Benson and Alex Usifo will say "NO", that he must marry a girl of their choice from the village who turns out to be Nkiru Sylvanus. by the time the mgbeke comes to the city and spends a few months, her eyes will now "tear". then, she starts doing any how and since her husband won't have time for her (marriage out of his will), she'll get pregnant for Mohammed Danjuma, the gateman and Ikot Bassey, the houseboy. when he discovers her, his mother hears the gist and begins to cry. then, he'll go and look for his love. im movies, he still gets her. in real life, it's always a little too late.

Why will want a relationship with Jamaican woman, abeg i support your parents on that oh.

Those woman are mean, dirty, rude, dirty looking.

They are so freaking loud and wear those ugly big hair on their head

They have no type of culture or manner.

sisistingy:

Why will want a relationship with Jamaican woman, abeg i support your parents on that oh.

Those woman are mean, dirty, rude, dirty looking.

They are so freaking loud and wear those ugly big hair on their head

They have no type of culture or manner.

Shut up please with your rubbish!

LadyT:

Shut up please with your rubbish!

Are u okay at all, WTF are you telling to shut up , you must be sick.

That was my damn freaking opinion, so Why the hell are you attacking me.
YOU MUST BE VERY STUPID

Look airhead don't blow the one brain cell you have.

sisistingy:

Are u okay at all, WTF are you telling to shut up , you must be sick.

That was my damn freaking opinion, so Why the hell are you attacking me.
YOU MUST BE VERY STUPID

But I suggest you read the rubbish you wrote.  Im sure if someone said that to you from which ever gutter you crawled from you would flip.

LadyT:


But I suggest you read the rubbish you wrote. I'm sure if someone said that to you from which ever gutter you crawled from you would flip.

why give a damn about what someone said about me

In this world everyone are going to criticize each other, that life for us.

This world is unfair

Well I am new in nairaland but i used to think we have a moderator in da house. anyway, there is a saying in my place "agba ki nwa loja ki ori omo tuntun o wo" (an elder should not be in a place where confusion reigns supreme) I think nairaland is a forum for us all to discuss serious issues and crack jokes when occasions call for it, i hate seeing abisive posts, please let us behave  >

Well as you say it is a forum and everyone is entitled to their own opinion as well as being treated with the same respect that you would also demand for yourself.

sisistingy:

Why will want a relationship with Jamaican woman, abeg i support your parents on that oh.
Those woman are mean, dirty, rude, dirty looking.
They are so freaking loud and wear those ugly big hair on their head
They have no type of culture or manner.

This is completely out of line - understandably i know where you're coming from but you are generalising, fact is everybody is different! It is obvious that you don't associate with Jamaicans, but that is no reason to rubbish the whole Country. They can wear their hair however they want, the same way you can wear yours how you feel, fact is people have different tastes, appeals, mannerism and culture - I would say the same to any Jamaican about Africans - ignorance is NOT bliss!

@sketch18 - my guy, do whatever makes you happy - i too went through that phase that only a Yoruba woman would suffice, but i am a rebel by nature! Your parents have their reasons for wanting you to marry into the same Tribe/culture (whatever they maybe, right or wrong), but it is your life and your life decisions!

i apprieciate what has been said by all of YOU i hate to generalize and be an ignorant person we need to take everyone as an individual. thats Why We as black people never really reach our full potential because We are afraid of CHANGE.
i from UK and some of you all r from USA/HOME TOWN N. so there is a big cultural difference "based upon the Igbo Woman ive Dated" ive realized that they are only here because:

ONE
* the attraction
TWO
* to CHOP my only POUNDS

AND hell NO i aint going fo NO VILLAGE GIRL , (NO disrespect) i had one saying she loved me only after a week of knowing her , i believed that she BELIEVED in her mind that she did but it was for the wrong reasons , she saw me as a Golden ticket out of her poverty state.


awoof i agree wid your comments,


HOLLA back with your comments because iam sure some of you are in the same situation as me


Sketch.

My opinion is for u 2 let ur parents know dat ur happiness lies on whoever u love.wat if u marry a nigerian & she break ur heart, Ehn u'll be back to square 1.nowadays life's not bout marrying any tribe either black or white.ur happiness after the marriage counts. And no1 will choose eat 4 u,it's ur personal assignment.        I'm not saying u shld disobey ur parents bt make dem undastnd dat ur happiness counts.

sketch 18

i have dated white and carribbean guys  before, carribbean guys  because they are hot very very hot.  now marriage i sa different story.  i would never marry a person from the carribbean because i find their culture rather too differnet from minw, and it will only cause problems in the future.  good luck but your parents have a point

Marriage is a totally personal thing. The only thing is you have to know why you want to get married. If it's love ,I have personally loved girls my clear thinking mind told me I could never live with.
If you can visualize living with this girl the next 30 years then go ahead. I personally don't get this different culture shit. I f your girl respects you she will respect your culture. Some one once pointed out the fact that if an Asian(Indian or Pakistani) marries a white woman ,she would tend to conform to her husbands culture. But in the case of black guys or Africans , we just let go and let the woman set the pace.
Your parents may be worried about the woman not understanding their culture, set them right and your wife to be. I am sure they will also not want their son to get divorced after 5 years,you have to check this one for yourself.
If you were born in the UK don't try that imported wife thing ,you will regret it.

marriage is a life contract, your parents will love to see you and your wife live togather as long as life last. Most jamaicans don't stick to marriage they wil chose to have the baby and leave you, ask around boy friend and girl friend is not the same thing as marriage. We will only give opinion and u make the decision. Think wise

why didnt you move from your parent's house when you were 18? I guess they helped in molding your character. You really have to give a very good consideration to their views. Have you wondered living without your parents the rest of life?

Unfortunately a lot of our parents are still caught under the sterotypes of old (Which are true sometimes)
i think you should consider what you are gaining and what you might potentailly loose

if your parents are angry do you stand to loose your inheritance ? assuming you have one to get
are you just with the girl because she lets you do what ever it is you do with her
have you envisioned your life without the gil and what does like look like
are you willing to accept the fact that you might be missing out on the most important person you might meet

and have you tried to teach the girl our ways maybe your parents feel disrespected

I think that folks should not come here to paint their parents bad. I guess that you did not find out your parent's position on marrying someone they barely know today. They must have hinted you about their position, so if you choose to do otherwise, you have to be a man and live with the consequence. I think that you are grown enough to love and marry a woman of your choice. As per thinking that your parents should wise up and adopt western definition of marriage, you are sounding like a joker.

Here is what I tell folks like you. Tell your parents from onset that you may not marry from your village, tribe, and nationality. Tell them that you are ready to be disowned in order to forge a new life for yourself. Tell them never to take care of you. Tell them never to feed or shelter you. Go ahead and live outside your parents’ shadow. Parents feel used and dumped when you are agree that would do their bidding when you want marry, now you want them to change in order to adapt to your lifestyle.

Its not only Nigerian/African parents that do not want their kids to get married to a person of a different cultural background, white parents do, African American parents do, so do Jamaican parents. It’s a cultural thing. If you try some interring racial, and interring cultural dating, you will get the gist. People want to operate within their comfort zone. I think that Nigerians kids need to be bold and stop milking their parents to get ahead and after would think that parents should adopt hip-pop lifestyle. Maybe you should as well teach your parents some 50 Cent or Gwen Stefani lyrics too.

adconline
Correct yawning my broda. Oyibo do chop our brains badly, to recover will take us time if we are go to recover @ all.

Smh.

Seriously shaking my head.

So many GROWN folks some of whom are older than us all, have Jamaican mothers and Nigerian fathers. Their parents STILL together and yet some of you fo0lishly continue to stereotype.

So i guess the saying "you lie down with dogs you catch fleas" according to some of you is the case of 'Naija man - Jamo woman' relations pertains to the fathers of the following:

A-dZiko Simba: is an award-winning poet and short story writer whose work has appeared in a number of anthologies.   Born in England to a Jamaican mother and Nigerian father, she has lived in the Caribbean since 1992 and currently resides in St. Mary, Jamaica.   She was a student in the first Calabash Writer's Workshop, and performed poetry at the Calabash Literary Festival in 2003.

Inyang Bassey: medical student and musician.

Duro Olowu: Obtained a degree in Law and was a lawyer but is currently a fashion designer.

Barbee: reggae/dancehall singer based in New York and J.A.

Coolie Ranx aka Obi-Ajula Ugbomah: music producer and character voice over in the Grand Theft Auto series (HOLY SHIET!  i had NO IDEA the person who voiced over for Little Jacob and Badman was half Nigerian!! LMAO  )

Weyinmi Efejuku: basketball player.

Gamal Turawa: Only famous because he is a known police officer who 'came out of the closet' 

Nnenna Ogwo: Musician who obtained "her doctoral studies in Musical Arts".  (hmm smart AND talented)

Nicole Beharie: Actress. 

Her critically acclaimed film debut was in the film American Violet (2008) alongside Alfre Woodard, Tim Blake Nelson and Will Patton. Beharie also played Ernie Davis girlfriend in the movie The Express (2008). Her upcoming projects include My Last Day Without You (2011) and Steve McQueen's Shame (2011) opposite Michael Fassbender.

Beharie developed a passion for acting and performing as a child. She attended South Carolina Governor's School for the Arts and Humanities in Greenville, SC. She was the first student from the Governor's school to be accepted into Juilliard Drama School in NYC.

While at The Juilliard School, she received the prestigious Robin Williams Scholarship. She was the first recipient by unanimous vote from Juilliard's drama division faculty.

The daughter of a Nigerian father and a Jamaican mother

Conor Okus: soccer player based in the UK.

Olusoji Adetokunboh Fasuba: Nigeria based track and field runner. (got i from his Jamo side, trust me  )

. . .those are only a few!! get over it. we are all black!!

^^ 4yrs old topic, lyk seriously?

^^your point?
i saw the link from a thread about me, and decided to post in this one. 
problemo?

Excelboi:

^^ 4yrs old topic, lyk seriously?

she's a jamaican woman. what do u expect? lol

MsDarkSkin:

Smh.

Seriously shaking my head.

So many GROWN folks some of whom are older than us all, have Jamaican mothers and Nigerian fathers. Their parents STILL together and yet some of you fo0lishly continue to stereotype.

I find the bolded part extremely difficult to believe. I can't even picture it lol

^^first of all i meant to put some. but bottom line that's your problem. not mine. 
and HALF jamaican but either way it's irrelevant just like your opinion on their parents.

its not that hard its like choosing between eating CHICKEN JERK and[b] POUNDED YAM and EGUSI SOUP[/b] so which would you prefer to be eating[b] MOST[/b] of the time.

its not that hard its like choosing between eating CHICKEN JERK and[b] POUNDED YAM and EGUSI SOUP[/b] so which would you prefer to be eating[b] MOST[/b] of the time.

its not that hard its like choosing between eating CHICKEN JERK and[b] POUNDED YAM and EGUSI SOUP[/b] so which would you prefer to be eating[b] MOST[/b] of the time.

Your parents are afraid of bombo clath babylon, wacha guan inner de crib