nextstep:



Funny thing is women prefer persistent men... there are a bunch of biological reasons that delight a woman's heart when a toaster is persistent: "if this guy just gives up at the first sign of resistance, how will he deal with my bullshit later in the relationship? How can he take care of and protect me and my progeny? How can he provide for us"? Will our male children be weak like him?" These are not conscious thoughts, but they are unconscious switches in the woman's head being flicked, and if the guys isn't flicking the right switches in the right direction, attraction remains low.

I'm not saying that one should continue pushing until it becomes abusive or stalkerish... every man should learn to read the non-verbal cues that a woman is giving; understand that one can persist without being a jerk; and also know when to back down. In this case, the game hadn't even begun. Even in tennis, you get multiple serves before the volley

I'm a woman, I don't prefer persistent men.

I'm taking "ask her out" in this instance to mean ask her on a date.

There is a difference between no and "I don't want to go that place". "Or I can't make it this day", "or not yet" Or anything I can say that will show you that I would like to go out with you but the way you're asking won't get you that yet.

No on the other hand is final.

If I tell you no, I mean no.
keep disturbing me after that and you become nothing more than an irritating pest.

It leads me to start asking questions.
If this guy doesn't respect me enough to walk away when I tell him that I am not interested. that means he doesn't respect me nor respect what I say. What kind of love or relationship can start from that?
It also shows the markings of an abusive relationship in the making where the guy has no interest nor care for what I say and only goes after what he wants, even if I tell him that isn't what I want. What of relationship is that?

Besides, There is no non verbal cues when I have used my mouth to say no. How can you still be looking for cues again when I have said no?

now i understand when dey say not all women will get married. Keep forming i too hard to get, we have prayer point for there type.

MariaLavina:
Good things don't come cheap. I don't know what law that is, but it is there.



Whatever you labour for, you value more. Yet another real law that exist.

valuable things appear on grocery...because they are for use all year round...we can't do without them.

Unreal things become too branded and isolated, that they get abandoned and rubbed with dust.

Xaos:
Nice. Glad he end his quest abruptly.
Real men don't have time for games.

40 containers of beer 4 u,no time to waste time.even b4 i settled down.if i toast a lady and she refuses initially i move on and go my way.many ladies are in d market to catch.is small boys that stalk ladies ooh

MariaLavina:
Good things don't come cheap. I don't know what law that is, but it is there.



Whatever you labour for, you value more. Yet another real law that exist.

good things bawo? When u don't have anything to offer apart from your gonorrhea infested pussy.
Will you shut up hoe.

MariaLavina:
Move on, he wasn't interested in your heart but your pant.



You dodged a bullet.

mumu

MariaLavina:
Good things don't come cheap. I don't know what law that is, but it is there.



Whatever you labour for, you value more. Yet another real law that exist.

Are all ladies "good things"?

Canadianbreed01:
You will definitely spend when you get the lady... Why stress myself again to get her? Is it not my money i will use to maintain the relationship??

I wonder. Na me go suffer pursue am, na me go dey spend money for her head. It doesn't make sense.

bugggg:
Persistence doesn't mean he's serious. I know guys that spent months asking girls out and after a fvck or 2 it's game over.

A friend of mine toasted a girl for more than one year just because of sex.

MariaLavina:
You and I both know how persistent a man is when he truly wants something. Men act this way when they are in doubt, just want to play or if the chase isn't worth it.


Some guys don't want meaningful and valuable pants ( they come with lots of baggage) so boys only want to play.

But what happens when you eventually chased a lady YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY LOVE for approximately 3 years and She eventually left you, got married without even telling you
Though I have forgiven her sha
I make bold to say it that ONLY FEW LADIES ARE WORTH IT,
I swear

TrumpDonald2:


Not always and probably not his case. Those that try harder are usually those interested in your pants. Some good guys don't know how to accept rejection. They are sincere, they hardly ask girls out until they see the one worth asking out. If she says no, he's off, he sees it as respecting him self. Na the girl lose.

Gbam. My exact description. @the bolded part.

Daeylar:



I'm a woman, I don't prefer persistent men.

I'm taking "ask her out" in this instance to mean ask her on a date.

There is a difference between no and "I don't want to go that place". "Or I can't make it this day", "or not yet" Or anything I can say that will show you that I would like to go out with you but the way you're asking won't get you that yet.

No on the other hand is final.

If I tell you no, I mean no.
keep disturbing me after that and you become nothing more than an irritating pest.

It leads me to start asking questions.
If this guy doesn't respect me enough to walk away when I tell him that I am not interested. that means he doesn't respect me nor respect what I say. What kind of love or relationship can start from that?
It also shows the markings of an abusive relationship in the making where the guy has no interest nor care for what I say and only goes after what he wants, even if I tell him that isn't what I want. What of relationship is that?

Besides, There is no non verbal cues when I have used my mouth to say no. How can you still be looking for cues again when I have said no?

Well said. I am a gentleman and I believe that a no should be taken for a no. If a lady says no and has some other thing in mind, then, she got it all wrong.

We humans have evolved higher than animals. Just as we won't force sex on women (like fowls), we should also not force them to accept our love. The raw biological instincts are being mellowed by our modern civilised minds that understand that people's feelings should be respected.

nextstep:
Well, then the guy was either not really interested, or just not experienced enough. Either way, not for her, at this time.

We men are very dogged and persistent with what we really want. Even if the girl is doing shakara, if there's something about her that really intrigues us, we will persist. I don't mean as in begging and lowering your value/esteem, but how to use convo and swag to convince her of your worth (as a real man).

Also, any woman worth her salt will not just agree like that; any good toaster knows that the first shot is just one of many in a toasting/courtship.
It's a game we both play and it's sweet when both parties are parlaying. Even watching guy toast a girl is sweet to watch when both parties are good at the game.


Nah mate... 1 million years of evolution can't be overridden by 30 years of sexual liberation. The same rules that makes a relationship sweet from the start still apply.




Funny thing is women prefer persistent men... there are a bunch of biological reasons that delight a woman's heart when a toaster is persistent: "if this guy just gives up at the first sign of resistance, how will he deal with my bullshit later in the relationship? How can he take care of and protect me and my progeny? How can he provide for us"? Will our male children be weak like him?" These are not conscious thoughts, but they are unconscious switches in the woman's head being flicked, and if the guys isn't flicking the right switches in the right direction, attraction remains low.

I'm not saying that one should continue pushing until it becomes abusive or stalkerish... every man should learn to read the non-verbal cues that a woman is giving; understand that one can persist without being a jerk; and also know when to back down. In this case, the game hadn't even begun. Even in tennis, you get multiple serves before the volley


Everybody needs a level of pride... men don't even like or respect girls they got without trying... it's not even because of society, and can also be explained by biology: "if anybody can mate with this person so easily, what are the chances of my genes surviving with her?"

In summary: she did exactly what she should do, but he failed in his role as toaster (even if it was just disinterest).

I find it difficult to believe that a guy would still reason like this in this day and time.
In fact, are you sure you're actually a guy? ...I'm suspecting you might be a woman masquerading as a guy on Nairaland.
But if you're a guy sha...no offence intended.
Its different strokes for different folks, so you're entitled to your opinion.
I'm just really surprised, that's all.

Mart1994:
Are all ladies "good things"?

Better put, "Are all hard-to-get ladies 'good things'?"

She wanted him to try harder, u b network?

Vcblinks:
40 containers of beer 4 u,no time to waste .even b4 i settled down.if i toast a lady and she refuses initially i move on and go my way.many ladies are in d market to catch.is small boys that stalk ladies ooh

mmmmmm my chairman!!!. I cannot waste my time, resources, energy on any girl who feel u have to go through hell before she accepts your proposals

Shawncavendish:

c
A friend of mine toasted a girl for more than one year just because of sex.

chaaiiiii that guy get patience n perseverance ooo.but did he finally succeed?

DonX001:


I find it difficult to believe that a guy would still reason like this in this day and time.
In fact, are you sure you're actually a guy? ...I'm suspecting you might be a woman masquerading as a guy on Nairaland.
But if you're a guy sha...no offence intended.
Its different strokes for different folks, so you're entitled to your opinion.
I'm just really surprised, that's all.

Guy fam... there's still a lot of guys like me out there who enjoy the game, and get bored with easy lays.

Daeylar:



I'm a woman, I don't prefer persistent men.

I'm taking "ask her out" in this instance to mean ask her on a date.

There is a difference between no and "I don't want to go that place". "Or I can't make it this day", "or not yet" Or anything I can say that will show you that I would like to go out with you but the way you're asking won't get you that yet.

No on the other hand is final.

If I tell you no, I mean no.
keep disturbing me after that and you become nothing more than an irritating pest.

It leads me to start asking questions.
If this guy doesn't respect me enough to walk away when I tell him that I am not interested. that means he doesn't respect me nor respect what I say. What kind of love or relationship can start from that?
It also shows the markings of an abusive relationship in the making where the guy has no interest nor care for what I say and only goes after what he wants, even if I tell him that isn't what I want. What of relationship is that?

Besides, There is no non verbal cues when I have used my mouth to say no. How can you still be looking for cues again when I have said no?

No offense, but the first rule of understanding women is not take what they "say" literally. How many times have you heard a woman say one thing, then do the opposite? I can never date X, and you see her with X. I can never do such, but guess what... BTW, second rule is "don't discount what she says, but pay more attention to how she's feeling". With that out of the way:

Perhaps I should rephrase my sentence on persistence to be: Women want persistent men (as long as the woman is interested). She will put roadblocks to test his sincerity and will throw up shiit tests in order to weed out the weaker suitors. Again, if a guy reads your non-verbal cues and gets a negative, he should stop, or switch up his approach, or just put his game with you on pause for a week or two... I'm not advocating harassment or being a pest. A man with choices never becomes a pest, and there are way more women to date for a guy to become obsessive over just one.

There's a lot of cues in the way you say "No"... even you alluded to it when you said: "There is a difference between no and "I don't want to go that place". "Or I can't make it this day", "or not yet" Or anything I can say that will show you that I would like to go out with you but the way you're asking won't get you that yet.

As our OP said, she didn't really mean "no, go away or I will pepper spray", she said "no, try again in a different way", but her suitor only heard the "No", and didn't understand the remaining (unsaid) part of that phrase. A persistent (well-adjusted and socially aware) person would understand what the lady was saying, adjust accordingly, and try again. That's what I mean by persistent - not the clueless guy pushing you to your breaking point.

I also want to briefly address the "man does not care for what I want in a relationship". You're right, those men do exist, they really are selfish jerks, and it's wise to avoid them from the get-go. At the same time, we can all tell the difference between a narcissist, and somebody who just needs a little more experience in understanding social cues.

This stuff can get really deep, and I spent the better part of a decade learning, practicing, and teaching, and its fascinating how we all react the same... just like automatically smiling or nodding slightly when somebody says something we like; or furrowing our brows or crossing our arms when we encounter concepts we don't agree with. It's cool to watch body language during courtship/toasting. There's a ton of material on this natural subconscious phenomenon, and I'm just providing the tip of the iceberg, but feel free to google "shiit test" or "body language" if you're interested in the psychology of it:

https://www.toddvdating.com/pass-shit-test/
https://www.menprovement.com/why-women-test-men/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201110/reading-basic-body-language-dating-and-persuasion-success

kayjay69:
Was about saying same and look I get the babe. Some ladies feel it is at that point of asking out they can test a guy, others will agree to go out with you while keeping an eye on you. I think the latter is more mature and realistic. I dont think any babe is really going to know the guy she intends dating at the point when the dude is asking her out. Knowing someone takes time, married couple of 50 years will still tell you they are getting to know one another, it never stops.

You have done justice to the nail.

Let all those who have eyes to read, let them read.

MariaLavina:
You and I both know how persistent a man is when he truly wants something. Men act this way when they are in doubt, just want to play or if the chase isn't worth it.


Some guys don't want meaningful and valuable pants ( they come with lots of baggage) so boys only want to play.

With these reasoning, your type can fall into the hands of Players, Silly Players who needed to get into your pants won't care if you say no, he has a mission . and will keep persisting so he could say later ' on top all the shakara , I do am ' .

You Ladies need to be careful

Masterace:
ONE BOTTLE OF COKE FOR YOU, YOU JUST SAID MY MIND...
THE ANNOYING PART IS THAT THEY PRAYED AND CRAVED FOE SUCH REQUEST OOH, WHEN THEY HAVE IT THEY WILL TRY TO FORM HARD TO GET THIS KEEPS PISSING ME OFF.
THE DAY I TRIED IT WITH A LADY AND SHE DECLINE ITS EVEN TWICE WITH BIG PLEAD OOH, I MAKED SURE I KNOW ONE OF HER FRIEND AND JUST LAVISH HER WITH MONEY, DEFINITELY THE GIST GOT TO HER.

She will go Crazy...

nextstep:


Which means you're not really interested in her specifically, just about any woman will do. I'm not saying that's wrong, but since it doesn't match what she's looking for, it's good for you to move on immediately.

As for me, I *used* to enjoy the feelings of thinking about a girl, working out how to toast her, playing the game over some time, being rejected and trying again.


*I don't toast anymore, since I don find wife, and honestly, I enjoy telling people how long it took for me to convince her I was worthwhile. It doesn't hurt that she can boast that she had many suitors and rejected so many. Not that I had low self esteem, or needed a woman to validate my life, but it tells me (subconsciously) that I have won a prize that not many men could... it's all psychological, but hey, so is everything isn't it?

I hope you didn't marry Olosho

musictori:
This Twitter user gave her reason for turning down a guy who asked her out, but turn out it didn't work out well for her, see her reason...

Source: https://www.musictori.com/2019/03/whaaat-why-i-turned-down-guy-that-asked.html

next time u have learnt ur lesson

Daeylar:



I'm a woman, I don't prefer persistent men.

I'm taking "ask her out" in this instance to mean ask her on a date.

There is a difference between no and "I don't want to go that place". "Or I can't make it this day", "or not yet" Or anything I can say that will show you that I would like to go out with you but the way you're asking won't get you that yet.

No on the other hand is final.

If I tell you no, I mean no.
keep disturbing me after that and you become nothing more than an irritating pest.

It leads me to start asking questions.
If this guy doesn't respect me enough to walk away when I tell him that I am not interested. that means he doesn't respect me nor respect what I say. What kind of love or relationship can start from that?
It also shows the markings of an abusive relationship in the making where the guy has no interest nor care for what I say and only goes after what he wants, even if I tell him that isn't what I want. What of relationship is that?

Besides, There is no non verbal cues when I have used my mouth to say no. How can you still be looking for cues again when I have said no?

That what Real Guys Do, You say No
No need trying again...

Shawncavendish:


A friend of mine toasted a girl for more than one year just because of sex.

After all Na The Girl Lose...

luvyaself95:
I hope you didn't marry Olosho

Gentleziggy:
chaaiiiii that guy get patience n perseverance ooo.but did he finally succeed?

Yes. They became fuckmates but I don't know if the girl was aware that the guy was only interested in her puna.

luvyaself95:
After all Na The Girl Lose...

Very true.

TrumpDonald2:


Not always and probably not his case. Those that try harder are usually those interested in your pants. Some good guys don't know how to accept rejection. They are sincere, they hardly ask girls out until they see the one worth asking out. If she says no, he's off, he sees it as respecting him self. Na the girl lose.

This is me exactly. I value my respect alot

luvyaself95:
I hope you didn't marry Olosho

Since Nigeria is filled with olosho, the chances of marrying one is very high.

nextstep:


Since Nigeria is filled with olosho, the chances of marrying one is very high.

Na The Reason I Dey Ask Him Be That And Refuse To Answer...