Ela020:


Read in between lines. The guy is sick and is trying very hard to stay alive. He is hypertensive and also has some other health issues. The last thing he needs now is what his friend is doing.. He doesn't need all those things near him. Why u no go pay rent but u go carry woman. U

Unless that.. But i read where he said he has a girlfriend, what's stopping him from inviting her over?

go and get marry

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dierich:
Please ignore my grammatical errors.

I've a friend and he's very close to me. we know each other more than 10years and he has been the only friend close to me right now. I was living alone in a 3 bedroom flat and he always come to sleep at my place. I'm happy coz I won't be the only one sleeping in the house.

it started when he bring 1 of his girlfriends to my house, he uses on of the rooms and I didn't complain, but the issue is he kept bringing them in and I'm tired of it. the most annoying part is the way he's using the bed. stains or shit. it came to a time I've to wash the bed coz I'm tired of seeing stains on my bed, though I'm not really using the bed but it's still my property. I've been ill since December last year, I told him what I'm facing, and even lie to him to show how critical my illness is, but that doesn't stop him from bringing them in.

please can someone advise me on how to stop him totally. he found my place d best for him since he's still living with his parent.

I don't want to offend someone that's why I want the best way to table it to him.

right now he's with his gf at my place. this particular girl use to stay overnight.. same thing last week Wednesday. and he won't even tell me someone is coming. we went to bed together Around 10pm, and by the time I woke around 1 to pee, I found out he's not by my side again, I check around and went to the other room to found him and the girl.

I'm sick of this. please how can I stop him without malice.
thanks

You are the closet friend he Gat.. where do you want him to start taking the girls to?..... You really have to bare for now, till he gets his own apartment. Or go and get married....

Go marry, your wife will settle the mess.

Women dont need advise to do this kind job well. We are well equipped.

dierich:


I'm not saying my sickness has something to do with it but he know what I'm still facing and thousands I've spent on it. it doesn't really feel it. what concern him most is bringing in his gfs.

Are you sure it is 3bed room flat blc that part you said you woke up and didn't see him beside you .....why will you guys be sleeping together in the same room out of three rooms.if it is actually three bedroom then let him be unless if its different girls that brings home.

kallmemrB:
Sometimes I think some nairalanders need psych Evaluation... What so difficult in "Bro stop bringing ladies to my place am not comfortable with that poo"

What do u think nairaland will do for you?

beat him

aanuoluwami14:


Find a continent time to sit him down, tell him with a brotherly love, also preach the gospel of Christ to him, God might want to use you for him.

pray for them both, Pastor, they need deliverance

Hope you have been able to get a good solution. Have you tried locking up your all your apartment doors before you sleep and keeping the keys with you in a hidden place or in your room. When the girls come, he won't be able to let them in. If he has the guts to come and ask you for the keys, tell him you can't find it then but will look for them the next morning. After a few times of excuses, he will get the drift. And leave you in peace.


But your best bet is to tell him plainly. Saves you all the stories. This is something any decent friend should know not to do.

raise up your hand,if you've not taken a woman to another person's place.

dierich:
he just left with the lady. check thru d picture and see how messed up it looks. I've to wash the bed sheets and bed cover and kept it after he messed up everything.
just check the picture I just took 10mins ago after he left now. this is my T-shirt I've left in that room 4 a while, & he use it to clean up d mess. did I tell him I'm not using d shirt anymore? I just don't want to av problem with anyone that's y I'm looking for a low-key way to tell him.
I've show it emotionally but he don't wanna listen. I've been ill over 3 months ago and he doesn't really care. he'll just tell me not to think of it that I'll be fine.. that's all he kept saying. I told him on Sunday that my girl want to visit me and I stopped her coz for now I'm not happy about my health and I wanna be alone and I wanna keep tins holy, and today after I slept around past 10, that's when he sneak d girl in.

Have you bothered to find out your sexuality? Gay

kennydotkom:


But HBP at what age,? When you are not marry, how come you are suffering from Hblood pressure? I don't understand bro. My advice is that you can tell him that ur pastor gace u a spiritual instruction that you suld not allow any strange human.or or accept visitor for now.

I'm still U-30 and my BP is 160/85 b4. it's around 140/80 Wen check last

Hipsofagoddess:


So it's mingling with people that won't cause HPB?

It's more worst when you stay alone and it can even lead to depression staying alone. From his writeup I get to kmow he prefers staying alone..

Dear Bro, i understand wat u ar going thru.....dis same issue happen btw me and my best friend den(pple in d street call us twin,for u to knw d intimacy) in schl,i liv in a room and parlour sef cont.so bcux of loneliness i invited him to come stay with me,dat is hw e start to dey bring his gfs,even in d av2noon,i av to go out or stay in d parlour...bro my advice for u is...you av to be strong and face dis thing once. Dont even text him any sms,u av 2 sit him down and talk to him as a frnd dat u dnt like d way e used to bring girls to ur aous and u tell him how it affect u and others reasons....(u know better),i understand dat guys like dat difficult to change except 4 God intervention,but if e still want u to be his frnd e suppose to change. Thanks.#But d prblm er is dat,d guy alrdy knw dat u ar a soft heart persn,dat is one of d major reason he is taking advantage of u. But just try to talk to him as a friend let c wat happen next.

verifiablefacts:

I couldn't help asking this; with 3 b/rooms,you guys still sleep on the same bed?

of course. he doesn't own a room here, he's a friend and we do gist a lot. so what's d crime in both of us gist and sleep in same room Wen d bed is enough to accommodate 2 people?

dierich:
Please ignore my grammatical errors.

I've a friend and he's very close to me. we know each other more than 10years and he has been the only friend close to me right now. I was living alone in a 3 bedroom flat and he always come to sleep at my place. I'm happy coz I won't be the only one sleeping in the house.

it started when he bring 1 of his girlfriends to my house, he uses on of the rooms and I didn't complain, but the issue is he kept bringing them in and I'm tired of it. the most annoying part is the way he's using the bed. stains or shit. it came to a time I've to wash the bed coz I'm tired of seeing stains on my bed, though I'm not really using the bed but it's still my property. I've been ill since December last year, I told him what I'm facing, and even lie to him to show how critical my illness is, but that doesn't stop him from bringing them in.

please can someone advise me on how to stop him totally. he found my place d best for him since he's still living with his parent.

I don't want to offend someone that's why I want the best way to table it to him.

right now he's with his gf at my place. this particular girl use to stay overnight.. same thing last week Wednesday. and he won't even tell me someone is coming. we went to bed together Around 10pm, and by the time I woke around 1 to pee, I found out he's not by my side again, I check around and went to the other room to found him and the girl.

I'm sick of this. please how can I stop him without malice.
thanks

You have to open up to this friend of urs before it's too late. You are the owner of the house and you have every right in the house. There is nothing you can do than to call him and tell him you don't like his characters. Tell him he need to stop and not that you hate him but you dislike how he is bringing ladies into ur house.

Isoduwa:



And you think we nairaland believe you? Guy stop �� all this complain and tell he to leave your house not the end of the world
A friend in need is a friend indeed me and my niggis cool with whatsoever because life is what you make of it � fvk the house fvk the bed fvk the clothes � finally fvk you for nor be true friend because you need to speak to him than bring this sshit to nairaland

den fvk ur life

R2bees:
As long as i have my own girl Someone like me won't even mind sef. I can continue dressing the bed as well as washing the bedsheets too, no big deal... Highest i will tell him to join me with the washing too.... ONE THING WITH LIVING AT SOMEONE'S PLACE IS THAT AT SOME POINT THEY WILL START FINDING FAULT OR GIVING YOU SILLY ATTITUDE, imagine this guy saying he had to fake illness just to stop him from bringing gals in his apartment.. TAKE NOTE: This is his own side of the story and we didn't hear from the guy...

onye mgbu

d way u reason Ehn.
show me where I said I fake illness? is English hard to understand or what?
u mean if you're in my shoe, you'll be washing d bedsheet he's using, and also happy he's using ur cloth to clean d mess? think bro

R2bees:
I swear bro.. The friend brought a gal and he still expect him to leave the girl and sleep on the same bed with him. WTF!!

u Mumu o. when I didn't expect he's inviting someone over and I wake, didn't see him, won't I look for him while in d middle of the night

SEXYBILLIONAIRE:
shut up if u got nothing to say na. Will that stop his friend from tearing toto on his bed?

Birds of the same feathers, continue

Ela020:


Read in between lines. The guy is sick and is trying very hard to stay alive. He is hypertensive and also has some other health issues. The last thing he needs now is what his friend is doing.. He doesn't need all those things near him. Why u no go pay rent but u go carry woman. U

thanks bro. I hate people thinking with dere anus. that guy R2bees ehn.

Maybe I come live with you as flatMates and then occupy the room by so doing he will surely stop the said rubbish.. For have been looking for an apartment I could share with someone however, I Will share the rent and utilities.. 08053610231 my number

pawesome:
dont go and scatter 10yrs friendship because of woman o..thank God is 2 rooms so just let the guy be

I know if you're d one, u won't take dis.
can u see how he use d bed? check d 1st page and see those pictures, and I believe if truly u see it, u won't talk dat way.
I've corrected him several times but no changes

There's no permanent friend. There's no how he wouldn't be offended if you stop him. Just be bold to tell him to stop bringing his girl friend to your house as the act makes you unhappy and uncomfortable. If he a good friend he will respect your feeling. For very soon the girl friend will get pregnant and he would ask you give him that room.

Alternatively, since you in money to have rented 3-bedroom, provide him money for a room apartment and he will not be offended. Meanwhile, bachelor's be advised that your best apartment is a room and parlour self contained, anything more than that, you will definitely invite a tenant by implication.

dierich:


Nø 1, he always mess up d place.. check thru page one and see those pictures I uploaded.
Nø 2, he won't even tell me 1 of is girls is coming. same tin last nite. we slept together and before midnight, he brought d girl in.
Nø 3, I'm not a happy man for now coz of my health, that's y I stop my girl from coming for now.

What's wrong with your health?

ericsmith:





Honestly i don't see any wrong in, ur OGo bringing gurls to ur apartment when its obvious he as none, i think the major thing heating you up is low self esteem,jealous out of envy ... if you sef be player with multi chicks i swear you won't have full details to complain these much. naa 3bedroom naa,haba!
dierich get babes or find a steady one that would come around often, that will limit ur friend actions, guys think twice b4 visiting there hommie with babes around all the time ... there is no way you can possibly tell him to stop bringing gurls that it wonnt sound like you downgrading him ...he is using your house becos he feels you are not using it use your activities to limit him not necessarily words

read thru d 1st page very well. I've my own girl too not try to read all d 1st page comments and quote me after.. thanks bro

PrimadonnaO:



And I thought girls were the sentimental ones. I've learnt early in life that you've got to define boundaries because most people are opportunists and selfish at it... they won't do right by you if you don't demand it.

I had a friend back then in school who'd come to my house to supposedly gist and she'd stay over... sometimes for days. She began to make a habit of expecting me to treat her like a guest all the time... cook what she wants, when she wants and all that. I had to sit her down and tell her without mincing words... "baby girl, I'm a student like you, too. You're no longer a guest in this house. When you come to the house, you eat whatever is available. Stop asking me to prepare this and that for you. You can't put me under pressure in my house."

She apologised...and tried to guilt-trip me by acting all formal with me whenever we met in class. Lol. But I refused to be guilt-tripped. I'd put my message across to her clearly. Some persons might be comfortable with behaviour like that... but not me, I couldn't suck it up.

Today, we're still very good friends... but she already knows the things I won't tolerate. That's how I live my life. If I'm not comfortable with a thing... I state it unapologetically!

I use to experience something like this also, but I told the guy straight when it was getting too much that I'm not comfortable with it, he had to stop and start taking them elsewhere .... It started getting to a stage whereby he doesn't visit except he's coming with a girl.... That's why I had to stop him.... We don't really talk much again, in fact we've seen only once this year.
The truth is that many guys are guilty of this, when they have a friend that stays alone, they tend to bring different kind of girls to the place, and the girls themselves are dumb.... I mean how would a guy take you to another guys place to have sex with you.

messenger4891:

Are you sure it is 3bed room flat blc that part you said you woke up and didn't see him beside you .....why will you guys be sleeping together in the same room out of three rooms.if it is actually three bedroom then let him be unless if its different girls that brings home.

try to go thru d 1st page comments, I mentioned gfs, and also what's d crime in been on a room when d bed can accommodate 2 people. he doesn't own a room here, he's a visitor and doesn't base at my place all time, so y will I pack my tins out of a room and will it to him? I don't get ur point

Loisemm:
Hope you have been able to get a good solution. Have you tried locking up your all your apartment doors before you sleep and keeping the keys with you in a hidden place or in your room. When the girls come, he won't be able to let them in. If he has the guts to come and ask you for the keys, tell him you can't find it then but will look for them the next morning. After a few times of excuses, he will get the drift. And leave you in peace.


But your best bet is to tell him plainly. Saves you all the stories. This is something any decent friend should know not to do.

thanks so much. I've done dat. I've talk to him

Hardeyshinardt:
Dear Bro, i understand wat u ar going thru.....dis same issue happen btw me and my best friend den(pple in d street call us twin,for u to knw d intimacy) in schl,i liv in a room and parlour sef cont.so bcux of loneliness i invited him to come stay with me,dat is hw e start to dey bring his gfs,even in d av2noon,i av to go out or stay in d parlour...bro my advice for u is...you av to be strong and face dis thing once. Dont even text him any sms,u av 2 sit him down and talk to him as a frnd dat u dnt like d way e used to bring girls to ur aous and u tell him how it affect u and others reasons....(u know better),i understand dat guys like dat difficult to change except 4 God intervention,but if e still want u to be his frnd e suppose to change. Thanks.#But d prblm er is dat,d guy alrdy knw dat u ar a soft heart persn,dat is one of d major reason he is taking advantage of u. But just try to talk to him as a friend let c wat happen next.

Thanks for ur understanding bro. I've warn him not to messed up d room, but he kept doing it, dat's y I wanna stop him totally now

Maybe I come live with you as flatMates and then occupy the room by so doing he will surely stop the said rubbish.. For have been looking for an apartment I could share with someone however, I Will share the rent and utilities.. 08053610231 my number [quote author=dierich post=77024162]

laudate:

That guy is NOT his friend. He is simply a souless parasite, that is just using the OP Dierich.

A true friend will show concern and compassion for his friend, who is ill. He would also try to behave in a manner, that would NOT jeopardize his friend's peace of mind and well-being.

What sort of a friend ignores his friend's pleas and warnings to desist from an act, and blatantly flouts the terms laid down by his friend, who is accomodating him?

Abeg, the OP is better off without him. Not all friends are meant to stay in your life, forever!

true. You're right.
Totally agree with this