I don't understand why my husband's friend will visit when he is not home. I don't buy the idea and it is not safe. He has no right to come into my house and send me on errands like his maid because i married his friend.

We should be truthful about these issues instead of covering it up with virtuous wife... obedient wife nonsense. She was even ill!!!

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

You should know that guy is a kid... probably one SS1 boy that just reached puberty and unfortunately has access to a phone.

At the bolded...my sentiments exactly. Why did he visit knowing that his friend was not home? He has absolutely no right to send her on errands.

None of my husband's friends can try it not because I feel too big but because my husband doesn't place me in a way that they can disrespect me or take me for granted.

That's why this OP's husband is at fault. He has made his wife public to be used as desired.

But most guys here will not understand especially the kids

OKOATA:
What if the wife left to get the card and he goes into their kitchen and put poison in their food or hides a confisticated item in their home and later calls the police. I think the hubby friend is an evil person. I can't leave alone someone I don't trust in my home.

Exactly what I am saying.

alert01:


no wonder your moniker is chally. UGly thing

Lol atleast am matured enough to also know dat you ar a small boy

eyinjuege:


perhaps there's more to the story, but you also said she should have gone to buy the recharge card for the man in question. That's why I quoted you, to tell you it's probably unsafe for her to do that. it has nothing to do with pride but the safety of her family.
She said she didn't go to work for health issues. That's another legitimate reason she couldn't go out and buy any recharge card and even provided alternative solution.

Yes, that's true but that clearly was not her reason for refusing to go the errand. The Op is obviously not telling us the whole story. If you read her story again you would see where she said that the man came to the house "IN THE EVENING" and in another line she said part of the reasons she didn't go out to get the recharge card was because it was "VERY SUNNY OUTSIDE "(The man came in the evening and it was sunny outside). Honestly, she not going on that errand doesn't portray her in a good light outside the reason you gave.

Xaos:
I think you should apologize.

You have to do this not because you are fault but because you are a wise woman who priorities her families happiness over her own ego.

Make peace while it is in your power to make peace.

She stoops to conquer

Guest007:
It's a bleeped up situation for real...


Buuuuuut, if you truly love your man, and he is a good man then I'd say take one for the team, go and apologise to his friend as an adult.

Say something like... 'Hey, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in my home*insert reasons for not going shop* I have the upmost respect for you, and I wanted to personally apologise FOR THE WAY I MADE YOU FEEL '

Basically, offer a diplomatic apology.

Let the dust settle down and wait for him to come out of his mood, and one day you could explain how you felt to him.

Here's a thought, would your husband feel comfortable for this man to stay in your house unsupervised

I'm sure you won't be comfortable with that, or are you

Its a tough situation, and you have to learn new skills in communication so let him win the battles while you always win the wars.

apologize cause someone wanted to send you in an errand like a house girl ? What do men take women for? The man that would come into my house and be sending me on errands has not been born yet ! And for my husband to come and be threatening divorce cause I refused to do housegirk did his friend ? Hmmn - it’s the way one presents oneself sha ! That’s why it’s alwats a problem when women are desperate for marriage !

Her husband didn’t read the 48 jaws of power before coming to tell her nonsense ! Mscheew

luckygeee:

Pls listen to this advce. Apologising doesn't make you a fool, no, it means you are wise and you can get a more appropriate time to sort things out after the dust must have settled. Read the 48 laws of power and you will know that sometimes it's better to play the fool so you can win the war even if it seems you have lost the battle. Please don't let pride ruin your marriage. Shalom!

Elliot2:
This is what all pussy niggas say until they are left with no friends but their nightmares at home.

Go and marry your agbero friend then...f@ggot.

Pataricatering:
apologize cause someone wanted to send you in an errand like a house girl ? What do men take women for? The man that would come into my house and be sending me on errands has not been born yet ! And for my husband to come and be threatening divorce cause I refused to do housegirk did his friend ? Hmmn - it’s the way one presents oneself sha ! That’s why it’s alwats a problem when women are desperate for marriage !

Lol! What can we do? She came for a solution, and I gave her one that won't scatter homes

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter. We need to tame our ego before it uses US.

You have to start as you mean to go on in life and she obviously started off on the wrong foot... that friend could be her ex! They obviously have a dysfunctional set up and that is the problem not who goes shop, or who apologises.

Iziquiel:

Yes, that's true but that clearly was not her reason for refusing to go the errand. The Op is obviously not telling us the whole story. If you read her story again you would see where she said that the man came to the house "IN THE EVENING" and in another line she said part of the reasons she didn't go out to get the recharge card was because it was "VERY SUNNY OUTSIDE "(The man came in the evening and it was sunny outside). Honestly, she not going on that errand doesn't portray her in a good light outside the reason you gave.

What right has the man to send her on such errand, to begin with? Did he not see recharge card where he was coming from?
He walks into his friend's house and tries to turn the wife into an errand girl... What nonsense!

[quote author=TheGreatIYANU post=77116355]

I believe she needs to pray but why, 'RUN to your Pastor and tell him every' Is he God? Let her develop a relationship with God and talk to him as a child talking to her father. He hear and answers prayer.
]

[quote author=bakeuhappy post=77252948][/quote]

Different levels of faith

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

Should I say your husband is a renown gay or what?? And why will a friend stay in your house when your husband is not around??

I don't think you owe that man any apology. But on a serious note. I hope you didn't insult the said man? Because sometimes you ladies can be extremely crazy without thinking about your actions.

And if you think you're innocent yet he insist that you apologize. Please consult your people.

No man can mess with my sister happiness and go fry unless I'm a dead man. You dare not use my sister for slave just because You're the head of family. Mba nu we go die instantly before going to court and kirikiri prison cuz I doubt if I will find it funny. Unless she doesn't want to tell me anything.

Hello Chinnyrita27 sorry I can't access my email.

If what ever you wanna tell me is important, I'll drop my number. Sorry had to call you out here

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

This is what we call fatality

IamD18:
Who's the bitch? Someone's wife?

Are you MAD? What right has he to even send her on an errand in the first place? Is he her boss at work, husband, father or elder brother?

Are you FOOLISH? Why will he even visit and stay with her when the husband isn't around? I'm asking you!

Are you that DUMB? Don't you know what it means to set boundaries and mode in which you should relate to a married friend?

According to OP, she politely suggested another alternative but he turned it down, proving he had something in mind.

And here you are, typing about bitches!

Should I blame your father for this statement you made on someone's wife or should I blame your dusty brain?

It's so pitiful and shocking that after all the promises you made to your parents to be responsible, reasonable and sensible, you ended up as a shallow minded BOY who is ready to suck the scrotum balls of his friends than to protect his wife in cases like this.

C'mon! Will you take your pathetic self out of here!

Nonsense and turninoninown!

Completely agree. The man crossed boundaries. He didn't have shame to even stay in the house while his friend wasn't home, he even sat and ate and has the audacity to send the sick wife out for recharge card. We Nigerians don't respect boundaries.

In my own opinion and based on the story you gave, that your husband's friend has no right to visit your house when his friend is nit around, why did he not call his friend before coming and what right has he to send you in errand? I am a man with well over 10years in marriage, if it were a professional body you will give me the rank of a fellow after 10 years isn't it? Listen it is either the man have no self respect, or he has no respect for your husband. I won't take it kindly with a friend that come visiting when an not around only to insist my wife go buy him recharge card. By getting angry, it shows he has a sinister motive. What if you accept to go and he latter plants strange objects in your house while you are away with the immature manner he has displayed, he is capable of wrecking havoc.

On the part on your husband, I think there are other details you choose nit to disclose. If he has self respect, he should have given you the benefits of fear hearing and doubt.

So, for the sake of peace, apologise but be very watchful and avoid the man as much as possible. If possible insist your husband should provide surveillance cameras in your house and watch his every steps whenever he comes visiting.

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

Y does nairaland keep recycling thesame story over and over again. I remember this same story like two days back and am surprised to see it hitting front page again.
Am beginning to think that all these stories are made up to gather comments and likes

Chinnyrita27 whatsup

My sister ur own is even good mine is that my brother in law he is a member of this nàiraland posted to all my friends on face book before my wedding that am using juju for his brother and that one-day the juju will end honestly house this is the guy I respect after the incident my husband want me to forget about the matter without apology from the so call brother even the annoying thing is that he claims To be a pastor imagine and the guy convince my mother in law and every member of the family about the juju thing and they hated me for no reason that they even refused to come for my marriage in the year 2017 now my husband want me to flow with them as if nothing happened pls house is it possible I wish they can call this same guy to testify where he saw me using juju and how because for 4years this has been a night mare to me knowing some one beared force witness against me and now he is married and he thinks the law of cama doesn't exist .