OkaNaUbe:


You don marry?

definitely he has not...those are bunch of egolistic set of human

CosmoDroid:


Dont apologise to his friend, and do not apologize to him.

Tell him you are insulted by such statement and are ready to leave the marriage. It is the only thing that will make sense to him and honestly, the marriage is worthless if a man puts his friend above his wife.

He is a fool, sorry, you married a fool.

I'm shocked this is coming from a 'M' that must stand for medium

What IF this disrespectful dog of a friend embarrassed this man in public.

In my community, the only etiquette we can't break:


A man is forbidden to sit down in the house of a married man, if married man isn't home, it was not her duty to *entertain men* in her matrimonial home, when the husband is out! Forgetting the fact that the said man never visit her. *religion-Islam*

If I was her my rule would be no men in my home in the absence of my husband, including his family, no be friend. Then we don't have stories that touch.

My mama never entertained "Uncles"

this is so weird.
seems d friend wanted to be alone for a while in your home more than he needed d recharge. y didn't he accept top up from yuh acct or use his' like he said he could? when his 'mission' failed he began spinning tales to yuh hubby.

not to even mention d see finish.

I'd b on my toes around a creepy friend like that

lower your dignity and apologies to his friend just for peace to reign , you can do that via phone call and put it on speakers and make sure hubby is there and listening if possible... and pls watch this his friend close and with suspicion bcuz he can come btw you and your spouse, and cause inexplicable frictions in most serious cases: separation in homes... he's an envious home-wrecker... deep down inside him, he wants what you and hubby are having and perhaps he's not fortunate. they will basically infiltrate into homes as wolves in a sheep clothing. all these envious close family friends can be bloody liars and fabricators pls beware.

pussyAvenger:
If you like don't beg..

a younger slay Queen is warming up to play your wing.

these bitches don't know what our g's mean to us

If you are going to choose your friends over your wife then I don't see the need of you getting married.

Your reasoning is like that of a teenager which you are

you will say if your father had abide by this your principle of friends over wife that you will still have a place to call home.

Xaos:
I think you should apologize.

You have to do this not because you are fault but because you are a wise woman who priorities her families happiness over her own ego.

Make peace while it is in your power to make peace.

Make peace, while it's in ur power to make peace.


That's the word. Cos, if not discerning enough, a point will be reached, when sh*t will hit d fan.

Just move on quickly, before this goes on too long.

Do this and get peace and authority in your home


(1) Apologize to him in the presence of your husband to have a happy home.

(2) Be respectful, kind and formal with your husband friends,next time don't keep them company when they are tired of waiting alone in his absence they will stop coming when he is not around.

(3) Never lose Ur dignity in Ur home,he has no right to send u card when u were alone at home. keep Ur eyes on him cos he has a hidden agenda.

(4) After two weeks of apology, talk with Ur husband with respect and love.Ask him why he threatened to divorce u.he will say some things important to build on to save Ur home cos Ur home is 50/50% save or lost.

dont apologize to his friend. What gives him the guts to send you on errands in your own home. Try talk sense into your husband. Use his family members if you are close to them.

Are you sure that your husband is not gays?? For the friend to have the boldness to treat you like that and your husband taking sides with him immediately.
Sister find out o...gays plenty pass normal people now o

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

When u come on social media to seeks advise you get more confused, because most people here don't even know what being married is all about. Madam if u want advise go ask your mum or dad or elders, because an elder will tell you to apologise because marriage is not like courtship wen u can decide to leave, but you even have a 3 year old kid. It's not all about your pride now, it about humility, apologise it will make you happier and bring u respect from your husband

Its not even possible for my best friend or my blood brothers to come to my house in my absence, sit and order my wife around impossible .
If what you say is true , you husband has no iota jealousy which is unmanly.

Guest007:


I'm shocked this is coming from a 'M' that must stand for medium

What IF this disrespectful dog of a friend embarrassed this man in public.

In my community, the only etiquette we can't break:


A man is forbidden to sit down in the house of a married man, if married man isn't home, it was not her duty to *entertain men* in her matrimonial home, when the husband is out! Forgetting the fact that the said man never visit her. *religion-Islam*

If I was her my rule would be no men in my home in the absence of my husband, including his family, no be friend. Then we don't have stories that touch.

My mama never entertained "Uncles"

Thank you for this. Why would the man sit when his friend is not around? That calls for questioning. Probably,they are business partners, something huge is coming from the friend's side and loyalty is highly needed or they are cult members way back and the friend was the head or an officer who must be respected wherever and whenever.

I see no logic in going to a married woman's house whose husband is not around and sit if there is no ulterior motive to the extent of sending her on errand. To me,there is more to this that we need to know.

As a Social Worker,the background of the matter is very important before this woman can be psycho-educated. I believe she knows the friend before they got married so, what does the friend do for a living, what type of friends are they,how long has the friendship been,is the friend married, etc?

The typical nigerian woman endures all manner of shit becos of mrs title. Since u hold marriage dear apologise and move on. I wonder where una dey see this kind men marry

I know this sounds somehow but
1. You have a job dat u go 2 normally, so who did Baba expect to see @ home when he came?
2.y would ur hubby b OK wit him staying with u n he was not around, when some marriage wahalas are caused by 'friends'?
3. y would d friend send u out of d house under d guise of buying airtime when u're home alone?
My instinct is telling me dat uche nwoke ahu adiro pure cha cha (blame Nollywood)

Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

You first, before his friends

While the friend was wrong to send you on am errand, i suspect your reaction to both him and your husband is what led to this situation.

You must have been aggressive to both men and challenged their egos. Men don't like that. You need to learn to achieve control by being humble and respectful even if you disagree with them.

Call the friend and apologize in the presence of your husband and watch the both of them more closely before he ruins your marriage.
Be humble, respectful, careful, and smart.

Well as for me, my instinct is telling me OP is not giving the full details of the whole Scenario. Before your lovely husband can threaten you with divorce and made that statement " If you choose not to respect my Friends and family, I'll divorce you" there's more to it. My advice, just look at your attitude and the way you talk and treat your husband's family, if it's not that perfect, please adjust Madam. Your family, Your Happiness.

if this story is the whole truth, it shows ur husband's friend has no respect fr ur husband or his marriage. if u apologize, u send a wrong signal to him that he has control over ur husband and ur marriage and u ve given him d license to do more that would eventually cause an unsettling in ur home leading to d breakup that u so fear now. if ur union doesn't pull tru an issue as this, forget it, it's not gonna last. find a good time to discuss d issue with ur husband, do not show any form of desperation fr settlement . if he still insists, inform his family or anyone he respects and u know would not b biased in judgement . your husband needs to grow up as it seems he's immature .

Nairaland30:

Puxxyasslicker.

Friends over bitches mehn!!

You are so stupid. That's his wife (family) and not some street girl.

Just apologize and move on. Period

Your husband is behaving like kid

ayenika1:


Thank you for this. Why would the man sit when his friend is not around? That calls for questioning. Probably,they are business partners, something huge is coming from the friend's side and loyalty is highly needed or they are cult members way back and the friend was the head or an officer who must be respected wherever and whenever.

I see no logic in going to a married woman's house whose husband is not around and sit if there is no ulterior motive to the extent of sending her on errand. To me,there is more to this that we need to know.

As a Social Worker,the background of the matter is very important before this woman can be psycho-educated. I believe she knows the friend before they got married so, what does the friend do for a living, what type of friends are they,how long has the friendship been,is the friend married, etc?

I agree with you, the back story must be interesting die

Na you cause this yourself, next time your husbands friend comes around and ur hubby isn't home just tell the fool that you are about going out and you will see him turn back. What if he rapes you and turns the table on you, I'm sure your hubby will believe him. Think deep. Never apologize to ur hubby's friend, if ur hubby threatens you don't talk back at him, if he doesn't speak to you or wants to keep malice let him do it. Na him go tire. I'm a man and one of the things a man hates most is when you argue with a woman and the woman doesn't talk back he will begin to wonder why you aren't speaking and he will be the one to later ask you whats wrong, then you can pour your heart to him. Simple logic.

JasonScoolari:
So sad you got married to a renowned GAY practitioner.

Never you apologise to that poor monkey, he's definitely a home breaker.

If your husband feels divorce is the best way to go about it, allow him to.... Don't be chickened into doing what you don't want to do for the sake of saving the "Marriage"

We don pass that stage when men go dey threaten their wives with divorce.

That's my wrong advise.

Are you married ?

BookEditor:


Madam, I understand your pains. Yes things like this sometimes happen but you must be very careful.

Now let me tell you this. The devil does not like anywhere there is peace, joy and love. He will be angry and make sure he goes there to scatter that peace, love and joy that you enjoy.

This is what happened. It's not your fault. You've done the best you can do in that circumstance. But the devil wants to use your husband's friend to scatter your home, so you must be very careful and vigilant.

First, your husband's friend was wrong for even sending you on an errand and even getting angry. After all, you're not his wife. Secondly, your husband was equally wrong for listening only to one side of the story (his friend) and jumping into conclusion without hearing from you. Your husband acted very rashly, irrationally and is inconsiderate. He's supposed to respect you enough to hear from you first before taking action.

But as I said before, the devil wants to sow a seed of discord in your family to break your home. Let me tell you this: Even if you you did what you've been accused of, it still does not warrant your husband threatening divorce. Divorce is not what you pronounce anyhow. Words are very powerful and can eventually come alive if spoken carelessly.

Now this is what you must do. You must realise this problem goes beyond your husband or his friend. Go down on your knees at midnight for 3 whole days and pray sincerely - cry to God over this matter, the Lord will hear you and He will change your husband to love you more and also change his friend not to pick faults with you over any flimsy excuse. This is the only sure solution in this matter.

Meanwhile, this does not stop you from apologizing to his friend. Humble yourself and apologize even if it's clear you're right in this matter and his friend is wrong. You know why you should apologize? Because you must stoop to conquer. Remember Oliver Goldsmith's "She Stoops To Conquer"? Just stoop for them and you will surely conquer. It's very clear that these two men have ego issues and need their ego to be "massaged", so just help them massage their ego by apologizing, while you go down on your knees to tackle them with prayer. You will surely overcome.

Mind you, if you apologize only without praying about it, very soon another thing will happen in your home. They will still find another flimsy fault with you that you're disrespectful again. But your prayer is a must because it keeps such things away from coming up.

Try this sincerely with faith and it will surely work. Wishing you all the best. God bless you.

Best advice!!! Op, follow this advice and watch your home turn into paradise.

Op which tribe are you? Your hubby and his friend has a dirty secret between each other.

You,your husband, his friend are all at fault. Why should you even entertain your husband's friend in his absence.Well,the deed has been done. Try and apologize to his friend for the sake of your family and be careful how you talk to the members of his family because for him to also raise it up seems you talk to them rudely and he is not happy about it.

only fools will believe this story. if u really know girls u will know that they never report a story exactly how it happened. they report a story to favor themselves and to get simparty. how would a guys friend come home and send his friends wife recharge card does it makes sense I grow up around women so I know how manipulative they can be. it can be that she's jealous anytime she sees are husbands friends in the house. so she decided to give him attitude.

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Chinnyrita27:
Good day nairalanders. I created this account to seek for advice as I am confused and crying as I type this. I have been happily married for 4 years with a daughter of 3 and my husband. Not about a week ago, I had issues with one of his friend in his absence in our home. He had this close friend who came visiting on a faithful evening last Monday(I was not strong enough to go to work),he came when my husband wasn't around so I had to leave whatever I was doing to keep him company while we wait for my husband, at some point I offered to get him food, he obliged and ate, it was not upto 30 minutes after eating, he asked me to go buy him card. Politely, I told him I can't as was so tired and weak to walk about 10 minutes under the sun, i suggested to recharge free for him from my bank, he insisted, frowned his face and asked if I was trying to tell him that he can't recharge from his account, I was shocked, he stood up angry and aggressively and drove out of the compound. I didn't utter a word, I was angry but kept calm.

Not until my husband came back, and when I was about to welcome him but, he angrily yield and screamed at me and asked why I had to insult his friend and call him poor. I angrily asked him why he believed his friend without trying to confirm the from me, we deeply quarrelled and he made statement threatening to end the marriage if I cannot respect his friends and his people. I have never disrespected him or any of his friends and family members before, I'm so confused, we have not be conversing and relating well since Monday. I tried to make peace with him as I wasn't comfortable keeping malice with him but he said I will have to apologise to his friend which is something I don't think I can do.

I am so confused, what should I do?

My Dear the only wrong thing you did was marrying an over grown baby. How can a man believe his friend side of a story without hearing his wife side of the story.

Damn!! So men are crazy walahi, why would my friend send my wife to buy her credit? Is he mad? I can’t never tolerate shit like that