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My Husband And His Mother!!! / How I Felt Reading Messages Between My Husband And His Mistress - Lady / House Girl Peeps While Husband And Wife Were Having Sex (2) (3) (4)

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Re: urg by goodnewscliff(m): 12:49pm On Apr 16, 2019
i dont wanto type much..... buhhh....

LOOK FOR WAYS TO CHANGE UR HUSBAND.....!!!!!!!
U MUST NOT ALWAYS TALK BACK
U MUST NOT ALWAYS SHOUT BACK!!!!
i know its not easy buhh its ur marriage we talking of here with kids involved!!!!!
be reasonable by all means.... give it time!!!!! ur husband could change for the better!!!!!
Re: urg by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:54pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:
Your husband loves master and slave relationship and it’s not a bad thing either way. It’s not a serious issue, try and get another househelp who can stay till 8pm or around such. The only thing your husband needs to do is to reduce the way he talks rudely to you even though i also love such character and i exhibit such lol

This is for the husband...please do not start what you can’t finish, you can wash your clothes only. Don’t help in any house chores no matter how small because the day you stop doing the house chores, there will be arguments and misunderstanding. So don’t do any chores. I repeat don’t do any chores. You can wash your own clothes only but don’t let anyone blackmail you into doing chores because you’re a man. But stop the way you talk to the wife rudely


So, it's a taboo for men to do chores? I don't actually get your drift. I really hate egotistical men like you.

5 Likes

Re: urg by eyinjuege: 12:56pm On Apr 16, 2019
This your story is strong o.
Anyway, because you work from home and your work is flexible, many people will automatically assume you're not doing anything.
I would advise you to get another maid who comes in the morning and leaves by 6pm so she can help you with the children and housework when they're back from school.
If you had a maid who stays in long enough, she can help with the loading and laundry, cleaning of the house etc.
As per his other attitudinal problems like shouting, and making stupid utterances, just apply the silence is the best answer approach and ignore his rantings. Some of us have little patience for such people and just give up on them there and then, with the ignore button mode activated.
You should only pay attention to those people in your life with reasonable contributions.
If that your job you do from home contributes to paying the bills, you can also kindly remind him that it's a great achievement to stay in the confines of your home and yet money dey rush you.

5 Likes

Re: urg by davenaija: 12:57pm On Apr 16, 2019
goodnewscliff:
i dont wanto type much..... buhhh....

LOOK FOR WAYS TO CHANGE UR HUSBAND.....!!!!!!!
U MUST NOT ALWAYS TALK BACK
U MUST NOT ALWAYS SHOUT BACK!!!!
i know its not easy buhh its ur marriage we talking of here with kids involved!!!!!
be reasonable by all means.... give it time!!!!! ur husband could change for the better!!!!!


Must not always talk back eh. Should men not master their emotional trigger and responses? Using the wife as a channel of outlet for unprocessed anger doesn't it show it vividly that the husband is emotionally unbalanced and immature?


Please. This is how we blame all marital problems on women. So much so that in scenarios when men are innocent no one believes them. Put your thinking hat on please

4 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:15pm On Apr 16, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:



So, it's a taboo for men to do chores? I don't actually get your drift. I really hate egotistical men like you.
If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada
Re: urg by generationz(f): 1:27pm On Apr 16, 2019
UjuJoan2:


I didn't even know what to say to that because I find that very difficult imagine. Why will someone hang dirty clothes? IS it not easier to put in the laundry than hang? I just can't relate!

It could be that the man likes to wear his not-to-dirty clothes more than once before washing. (upbringing )

While the op washes clothes daily ( also upbringing)

1 Like

Re: urg by davenaija: 1:30pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada


Not do as in duty, but as an emotional relief. Every married man does this, ask your dad.

8 Likes

Re: urg by Nobody: 1:32pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:



Not do as in duty, but as an emotional relief. Every married man does this, ask your dad.
well said!!!!!!

1 Like

Re: urg by Nobody: 1:33pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada
selfish man!! Is better the wife cooks for herself alone.

3 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:33pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:



Not do as in duty, but as an emotional relief. Every married man does this, ask your dad.
No he doesn’t. He washes his clothes only. He doesn’t do any house chores.
Re: urg by davenaija: 1:33pm On Apr 16, 2019
This is glaring incompatibility issues though. Its either both go through it, around it, over it or under it. Some way the differences have to be processed. Husband has to calm, rather should be less irritated. Love conquers in the end, if there's healthy love, a multitude of errors can be overlooked if both sides meet at the middle. The burden of relationships musnt rest on just one party, nope. It becomes monotonous, stressful, irritating, unenjoyable causing stress, strain fatigue and psychological imbalance typical of unhealthy environment.


Bottomline, if there's love and a resolve to build and defend the marriage, nothing can break such a union. This home may have an appearance of peace, both the couple don't have a healthy bond.

3 Likes

Re: urg by Esthered: 1:34pm On Apr 16, 2019
Why can't he assist where necessary as doing chores together can also be a bonding time as they'll work together as a team, joke and play. It doesn't have to happen all the time but those few times can be memorable and a goal achieved. Some Nigerian men make marriages boring and too serious because of their ego thereby making most singles believe marriage is primarily about ENDURING and not ENJOYMENT. They believe as long as they provide, her needs have been met, what about her emotional needs as well as others. I have an uncle whose wife use to cry all the time he's around because of his derogatory remarks. She now has low self esteem because he abuses her emotionally. What then is the love the OP's hubby professes for her?
On a second thought, the signs may have been there during courtship but the euphoria of being a married woman would have made you ignore the red flags. Thanks for sharing your experience as it's an eye opener for the singles anticipating marriage to read meaning into every words and actions of their spouse even if it's said or done jokingly as that may be who they really are.

Samshumy:

If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada

8 Likes

Re: urg by davenaija: 1:37pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

No he doesn’t. He washes his clothes only. He doesn’t do any house chores.


Self preservance, self centered Ness, selfishness. Too much of self. Men should lend their wives a hand, it reduces the psychological weight load of the work. Trust me,

5 Likes

Re: urg by davenaija: 1:37pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

No he doesn’t. He washes his clothes only. He doesn’t do any house chores.
Re: urg by Nobody: 1:38pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:



Self preservance, self centered Ness, selfishness. Too much of self. Men should lend their wives a hand, it reduces the psychological weight load of the work. Trust me,
Well said... you couldn't have said it better. All these uneducated men need EDUCATION!

3 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:41pm On Apr 16, 2019
Esthered:
Why can't he assist where necessary as doing chores together can also be a bonding time as they'll work together as a team, joke and play. It doesn't have to happen all the time but those few times can be memorable and a goal achieved. Some Nigerian men make marriages boring and too serious because of their ego thereby making most singles believe marriage is primarily about ENDURING and not ENJOYMENT. They believe as long as they provide, her needs have been met, what about her emotional needs as well as others. I have an uncle whose wife use to cry all the time he's around because of his derogatory remarks. She now has low self esteem because he abuses her emotionally. What then is the love the OP's hubby professes for her?
On a second thought, the signs may have been there during courtship but the euphoria of being a married woman would have made you ignore the red flags. Thanks for sharing your experience as it's an eye opener for the singles anticipating marriage to read meaning into every words and actions of their spouse even if it's said or done jokingly as that may be who they really are.

Well to me, a man is not supposed to do all those things. If the chores are too much, the wife can get a maid
Re: urg by davenaija: 1:41pm On Apr 16, 2019
Jen92:
Well said... you couldn't have said it better. All these uneducated men need EDUCATION!


Men learn from their fathers, one way or the other, an absentee father or an abusive father. Men desiring to enter marriages must unlearn all they took from their dads, process it and choose and decide their own paths and not repeat their father's lifestyle in their marriages. smiley

5 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:42pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:



Self preservance, self centered Ness, selfishness. Too much of self. Men should lend their wives a hand, it reduces the psychological weight load of the work. Trust me,
Well i can’t inconvenience myself because of that and i believe so many people are also like that
Re: urg by Nobody: 1:42pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:



Men learn from their fathers, one way or the other, an absentee father or an abusive father. Men desiring to enter marriages must unlearn all they took from their dads, process it and choose and decide their own paths and not repeat their father's lifestyle in their marriages. smiley
I agree.!! Well said!

1 Like

Re: urg by davenaija: 1:43pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

Well to me, a man is not supposed to do all those things. If the chores are too much, the wife can get a maid



This is a combative mental posture. A man can't, a woman should. Flexibility is key just standing around the kitchen while she cooks help them bond. If this alone is done, hope you know she won't complain. Plus both of them can gossip. These days gossips helps in bonding. grin

8 Likes

Re: urg by Esthered: 1:43pm On Apr 16, 2019
Wow but she's suppose to share bills with you.

Samshumy:

Well to me, a man is not supposed to do all those things. If the chores are too much, the wife can get a maid

3 Likes

Re: urg by davenaija: 1:43pm On Apr 16, 2019
Jen92:
I agree.!! Well said!

You're too kind. We need more family oriented threads on Fp. Whoever knows these guys should spread the word. Thx

3 Likes

Re: urg by Nobody: 1:44pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

Well i can’t inconvenience myself because of that and i believe so many people are also like that
Make sure you marry someone with same mentality with you!!! We dont want to see your post after a few years!!! Clearly Op noticed these character in her man yet she chose to marry.

5 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:44pm On Apr 16, 2019
Esthered:
Wow but she's suppose to share bills with you.

If needed in some cases. I’m a man and there are some things i can’t do for a wife
Re: urg by Acidosis(m): 1:45pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:


This is for the husband rich husbands...please do not start what you can’t finish, you can wash your clothes only. Don’t help in any house chores no matter how small because the day you stop doing the house chores, there will be arguments and misunderstanding. So don’t do any chores. I repeat don’t do any chores but ensure you make lots of money to hire maids and attendants. You can wash your own clothes only but don’t let anyone blackmail you into doing chores when you have lots of money to hire maids because you’re a man with money and can make your money work for you. But stop the way you talk to the wife rudely[/b]

Your statement is very disturbing. I have made the necessary corrections though.

11 Likes

Re: urg by davenaija: 1:46pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

Well i can’t inconvenience myself because of that and i believe so many people are also like that

Once again self. You lose yourself the moment you marry. In a healthy marriage though.

5 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:46pm On Apr 16, 2019
Jen92:
Make sure you marry someone with same mentality with you!!! We dont want to see your post after a few years!!! Clearly Op noticed these character in her man yet she chose to marry.
Lol kindly explain. My post like how? The kind of person i a.m. is to give wife money and make she find means to do all chores. Whether by hiring maid or herself, e no concern me
Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:47pm On Apr 16, 2019
Acidosis:


Your statement is very disturbing. I have made the necessary corrections though.
One maid is enough
Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:47pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:


Once again self. You lose yourself the moment you marry. In a healthy marriage though.
In marriage, i come first and by so, i can’t loose myself
Re: urg by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:48pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada

You seem not to know what teamwork does to marriage. You men should stop being egotistical and put yourselves to good use. Money isn't the only thing you all should stick to offer. We all can make money if we want to. Do chores because it's expected of you and not a one person's chore. I wonder how you were raised.

2 Likes

Re: urg by Samshumy: 1:50pm On Apr 16, 2019
davenaija:


This is a combative mental posture. A man can't, a woman should. Flexibility is key just standing around the kitchen while she cooks help them bond. If this alone is done, hope you know she won't complain. Plus both of them can gossip. These days gossips helps in bonding. grin
Lol well to me that’s my own believe and that’s how I’m made
Re: urg by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:50pm On Apr 16, 2019
Samshumy:

Well to me, a man is not supposed to do all those things. If the chores are too much, the wife can get a maid

From whom did you learn such?

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