davenaija:



Why stress yourself my lady

I wonder o

ImaIma1:


But he on the other hand doesn't see anything wrong with his actions and mindset. To him, he has to be a god in his home. He will love only when it is convenient and wouldn't want to be disturbed with the process of running the house.

His upbringing has made him selfish. And he already has divorce as an option even before getting married. Not everyone should get married. Selfish people should not bother themselves with marriage

Truly that guy all those trash he wrote there if he practices 20% of it, divorce is sure, because women of nowadays won't tolerate that. Likewise Even the op, she really tried.

I am a guy, and I find the whole thing tabled by the op very repulsive.

Oga I believe you will read this, please find ways to support your wife even if small. Keep your clothes the right way. Support her sometimes in chores and looking after your children.

Honestly this behavior can crash a marriage, but you are Lucky you married a wife that does chores, including washing your clothes.

Most modern women don't dare touch there husbands clothes, or even do house chores, I know that. But you even have a woman willing to do those.
You are fortunate.

My sisters husband is like that but his own is that he is chairman/oga, someone that lives in banana island. But he has nannies he emppoyed on full salary, she doesn't Even do any house chores or even cooking, except sometimes but supervises and directs them.

Also abusing a woman is not good at all.
Honestly you are Lucky to still have your marriage in tact, these kinds of things can totally break a marriage.

ImaIma1:


Master and slave Relationship in marriage is not a bad thing? Seriously?

And you are advising the husband not to help with chores? Is this how you run your home?
Marriage is a partnership...a joining of two people to make their lives better. Two are supposed to be better than one.

Marriage is a partnership but not when it comes to chores. Chores are meant for the wife

ImaIma1:


Is that how you run your home? What is wrong with a man doing chores? Is he above it? Didn't he wear the clothes that need washing? Doesn't he live in the house? Will it deflate the ego?

It’s very wrong for a man to do house chores and I’ll never do such as a man. Everyone is different.

ImaIma1:


Where did you get this orientation from... that chores are for women?

You are not married yet and are still looking at marriage from the point of view of boyfriend and girlfriend.

I have friends who are married and that’s how it should be. I can’t be providing for the family and still doing chores. A real man doesn’t do any chores apart from washing his own clothes

ImaIma1:


You should have decoded that the guy has some upbringing issues. It has affected the way he treats women and besides when he gets married, real life will hit him

Real life like what. It’s better you leave that fantasy. I don’t tolerate nonsense from women oooo. So i don’t know where the real life will come from

Chuks9000:
is laundry not part of house chores?

Laundary for my own personal clothes alone. Nothing more apart from that. Not sweeping, no cleaning will be done by me as husband of the house

Samshumy:

Laundary for my own personal clothes alone. Nothing more apart from that. Not sweeping, no cleaning will be done by me as husband of the house

Kids never forget that.
The much kids do for fathers like this, is to get him a bottle of St Remy or Johnny Walker once in a while to invoke and pour libation to his ancestors very morning.
Fathers like this always dies alone while their wives ends up humping from one child's vacation house to another.

JoannaSedley:
Kids never forget that.
The much kids do for fathers like this, is to get him a bottle of St Remy or Johnny Walker once in a while to invoke and pour libation to his ancestors very morning.
They always die alone while their wives ends up humping from one vacation house to another.

Humping. Been a while that word came to mind. Reminds me of Bobby brown. But your allegory a wicked one.

Samshumy:

I have friends who are married and that’s how it should be. I can’t be providing for the family and still doing chores. A real man doesn’t do any chores apart from washing his own clothes

Ok real man

JoannaSedley:
Kids never forget that.
The much kids do for fathers like this, is to get him a bottle of St Remy or Johnny Walker once in a while to invoke and pour libation to his ancestors very morning.
Fathers like this always dies alone while their wives ends up humping from one child's vacation house to another.

Lol who cares about dying alone or together lol?

The only comment i can give on your dilemma is this....your husband does not apply the golden rule....to do to others what you want them to do to you...and the husband does not realize that being the head of the home means that his first duty is to serve his family, of which he is the leader, to ease the burden on his cherished wife, and to help the dependent, vulnerable children...Because when all is said and done, the one responsible for the overall well being of the family is the husband...the advise i would give your husband is for him to remove the pride and ego, of the typical Nigerian husband and humble himself to assist you and your children together...and just see if the friction will not disappear or reduce greatly. Pride is really lethat in any marriage or family.

ImaIma1:


Ok real man

Yea that’s me master Emmanuel

What your husband is doing is not bad but he's over doing it
new genration wifes baffles me
my mom will leave house by 6am comes back at 8pm n will still cook akpu
and before she leaves in the morning. she sweeps the compound

Reduce your working hours

Do u even support the family with 40% of your earnings?

kross01:
As much as i do not believe all you wrote here, i can easily deduce that your hubby is really not a grown man and does not, i repeat, does not know what it means to be the man of the house. Now if he really will be reading this, let him hear this from me; in my own house, i do the laundry, infact, i don't even know if my wife still knows how to use the machine. What does it cost me? Load clothes into a machine, press some buttons and go sit down somewhere else, what else? I work, my wife works too but i tell you, its only on sundays and some saturdays that my wife bathes our son, i bath him every other day morning and evening. Infact i can tell you for free that my son takes to me more than he does to my wife. Oga sometimes i come back from work and i ask my wife to go sit down while i cook for the whole house. Do we still have issues after all these, sure we do, its part of marriage. The friction is what polishes and brings out the bright shining joy of marriage but till then you must do what you have to do. I believe your hubby's case is a problem of upbringing, i started assuming responsibilities at a very tender age and man you must love your kids. I don't even allow anyone do for my son what i can do for him except i am not around. How can sleep cross my eyes when my child is uncomfortable, how? Oga you need serious reformatting, as in purge your present OS and get your brain a new OS. Savour every moment you have with your family especially your kids, let them have a sweet memory of you always.

So much wisdom in one post. Thanks.

@Kindhearted, I believe the volume of response received here is enough to choose from. This may sound at little bit selfish, but I am sorry if I hit the wrong cord. Your freelance job, is it a writing gig? I will be interested in relieving you ma.

Young03:
What your husband is doing is not bad but he's over doing it

new genration wifes baffles me

my mom will leave house by 6am comes back at 8pm n will still cook akpu

and before she leaves in the morning. she sweeps the compound


Reduce your working hours


Do u even support the family with 40% of your earnings?

What is more baffling is how some men like yourself like to point to the back breaking work their own mothers had to endure.
Imagine your own mother working for 14 hours and still coming home to pound akpu.
Is this something to brag about?
Can you yourself work those same hours outside and still come home to do all that your mother did? Can you do it?
Shouldn’t it inspire you to change the system so that your daughters don’t have the run the home all by themselves?

Ummmm how you expect a married woman with kids to be working and contributing financially is what i don't know..na two head she get ?

Samshumy:

If he starts doing chores now, anytime he stops, the wife would nag. So it’s better he doesn’t do any chores apart from his clothes alone

How you expect a married man to be doing household chores is what i don’t understand. This is Nigeria and not America or Canada

Whew! What a husband you've got.

You didn't notice all these before marrying him? Good luck with managing the whole situation around him. All those things he used to say about your contract job is demeaning enough. Hian!

By the way, there are several clones of your husband here! How did Nigeria raise so much backward men? Hiaaaaan!

sisisioge:
Whew! What a husband you've got.

You didn't notice all these before marrying him? Good luck with managing the whole situation around him. All those things he used to say about your contract job is demeaning enough. Hian!


By the way, there are several clones of your husband here! How did Nigeria raise so much backward men? Hiaaaaan!

It all starts with poor parenting: the girl child is meant to cook while the boy sits with his idle father to drink and debate Chelsea vs. Man Utd match. Funny thing, many women of this generation still make the same mistake. The very thing they dislike about their husbands/fathers, they condone with their male children.

Thanks for pointing that out. My mum tells me to hire maids, cooks and nannies if I can afford them when i get married that it relieves homes as the whites who adopts it as a norm aren't stupid and that her mum's marriage was stressful but some men see it has humility and sacrifice of their mothers instead of aspiring to improve to offer something better to their wives.

elektra:


What is more baffling is how some men like yourself like to point to the back breaking work their own mothers had to endure.
Imagine your own mother working for 14 hours and still coming home to pound akpu.
Is this something to brag about?
Can you yourself work those same hours outside and still come home to do all that your mother did? Can you do it?
Shouldn’t it inspire you to change the system so that your daughters don’t have the run the home all by themselves?

armyofone:
Ummmm how you expect a married woman with kids to be working and contributing financially is what i don't know..na two head she get ?

She may decide not to contribute financially but i can’t do any house chores with any woman

Young03:
What your husband is doing is not bad but he's over doing it

new genration wifes baffles me

my mom will leave house by 6am comes back at 8pm n will still cook akpu

and before she leaves in the morning. she sweeps the compound


Reduce your working hours


Do u even support the family with 40% of your earnings?

Your mum's ways was not the standard for every home in those days. We had husbands who cared enough to reduce the burden for their wives.

My mum always had people in the house reducing the burden and she worked from home like the op. She was a seamstress. The fact that your mum would come back home at night tired and still pound akpu while your dad probably sat with a newspaper doesn't mean it happened in all homes.

My husband for instance, grew up in a home where his father cooked for everyone a lot of times and was very involved in the children's lives despite the fact that he went to work daily.

So there is nothing wrong with "new generation wives". Not all of us grew up in a house where our mothers were slaves.

Being a leader/head is a lot of responsibility. It is different from being a boss. Your wife should be better off after years of marriage and not worse off and looking like she is carrying a burden.

ImaIma1:


Your mum's ways was not the standard for every home in those days. We had husbands who cared enough to reduce the burden for their wives.

My mum always had people in the house reducing the burden and she worked from home like the op. She was a seamstress. The fact that your mum would come back home at night tired and still pound akpu while your dad probably sat with a newspaper doesn't mean it happened in all homes.

My husband for instance, grew up in a home where his father cooked for everyone a lot of times and was very involved in the children's lives despite the fact that he went to work daily.

So there is nothing wrong with "new generation wives". Not all of us grew up in a house where our mothers were slaves.

Being a leader/head is a lot of responsibility. It is different from being a boss. Your wife should be better off after years of marriage and not worse off and looking like she is carrying a burden.

The guy is right. So many things are wrong with women of nowadays

sisisioge:
Whew! What a husband you've got.

You didn't notice all these before marrying him? Good luck with managing the whole situation around him. All those things he used to say about your contract job is demeaning enough. Hian!

By the way, there are several clones of your husband here! How did Nigeria raise so much backward men? Hiaaaaan!

You didn't see the guy that was bragging about his mother coming back from work to pound akpu... exposing his father's idea of marriage.

Samshumy:

The guy is right. So many things are wrong with women of nowadays

What i see wrong is the need for Nigerian men to dominate the woman like it is the very air they breathe. There is actually no competition as many people try to create one.

I listened to a message where the person speaking asked the men that if after 5years of marriage and their inlaws come to see their daughter...would they be glad they gave her to you for marriage or would they regret it because she looks worse than she was as a single person.

ImaIma1:


What i see wrong is the need for Nigerian men to dominate the woman like it is the very air they breathe. There is actually no competition as many people try to create one.

I listened to a message where the person speaking asked the men that if after 5years of marriage and their inlaws come to see their daughter...would they be glad they gave her to you for marriage or would they regret it because she looks worse than she was as a single person.

So you’re telling me house chores would make the wife look anyhow?

Samshumy:

So you’re telling me house chores would make the wife look anyhow?

No. I am telling you that you can choose to do whatever you deem fit even if it means marrying a maid. At least you already have divorce at the back of your mind to rectify any situation that may arise.

ImaIma1:


No. I am telling you that you can choose to do whatever you deem fit even if it means marrying a maid. At least you already have divorce at the back of your mind to rectify any situation that may arise.

Doing chores has always been the work of our mothers since 10000BC. We can’t change our culture because of equality or nonsense feminism

Samshumy:

Doing chores has always been the work of our mothers since 10000BC. We can’t change our culture because of equality or nonsense feminism

If you want to stick with the olden days, i wonder what you are doing with a phone. You should be using town criers to deliver messages. You should walk about with only your crotch covered and not wear modern clothes.

But here you are conveniently picking out the one that works for you and saying olden days up and down. Why not go to post office and post your response to this my post?

ImaIma1:



If you want to stick with the olden days, i wonder what you are doing with a phone. You should be using town criers to deliver messages. You should walk about with only your crotch covered and not wear modern clothes.

But here you are conveniently picking out the one that works for you and saying olden days up and down. Why not go to post office and post your response to this my post?

Isn’t it funny how you are comparing technology with right family settings ?

Samshumy:

Isn’t it funny how you are comparing technology with right family settings ?

But you are a cultural man. Are you not aware that there is a set of people in Nigeria that have stuck to their old ways and culture and even refused to accept the new ways including technology.

So please you can't claim to be cultural because you want a slave as a wife alone. Do everything that a cultural man does