Gloriagee:
Not really interested in going back and forth with you as you are entitled to your opinion. However, my point remains a reasonable husband typically will wait a minimum of 6 weeks cos in the interest of his wife's health and wellbeing. What then is the big deal in chilling for a bit to ensure your spouse enjoys sex to avoid messing with your spouse's mental health and wellbeing? Or doesn't the hubby get hor.ny during the 6 weeks wait?

ibkayee:

I didn’t, I was focused on the one you made in this one

bukatyne:


If you read the thread, you would understand the link between what you call marital rape and physical abuse.

Gloriagee:
Neither do I

ibkayee:



I did not mention anything about advocacy of physical abuse in my comment, you brought it up and are essentially countering a point I did not make.

bukatyne:
@Cococandy

Please read up these links:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4896089/

https://thoughtcatalog.com/shakti-amarantha/2014/09/ejaculation-vs-orgasm-whats-the-difference/

Cc: Xaos

bukatyne:


You needed to read the other thread to get the link.

You say marital rape is sex without consent in marriage.

I say marriage gives consent therefore, there can be no rape in marriage.

However, during the act, a spouse can be assaulted and should seek redress for physical abuse or attempted murder in severe cases.

bukatyne:


A woman who was injured in the act by his husband should seek redress as she deems fit.

Gloriagee:
This literally cracked me up

cococandy:
I was able to read to read the second article. I must say first time I’m hearing about this. Thanks for sharing.

In most men they occur simultaneously so to say

ibkayee:

I read the thread.


And I said what’s not illegal isn’t always ethical. I also pointed out how far back these laws were written, it is important to consider the era. You can rape your spouse, you just can’t be prosecuted for it, but that does not mean it is not wrong.


I saw what you said about physical abuse in the thread, it just hasn’t got much to do with what I’m saying. The rape that can be committed without physical abuse is the one I’m talking about since you already addressed the ‘severe case’ conditions concerning physical abuse.

eyinjuege:


As she deems fit right?
How do you seek redress for damage/ injury to your spirit and soul?
Perhaps stabbing him will be a form of redress as she felt her life was in danger. Perhaps holding a lifelong resentment for your 'for better for worse' molester will do the trick. Perhaps poisoning him to be rid of the filth is enough redress as deemed fit. Or perhaps developing an extra marital relationship with someone else who treats you like a woman with more to offer than your vj is enough redress. You will be surprised at the number of women who seek succour outside of their marriages because they are seeking redress.

Richy4:


Okay... If what I have posted made U happy, I'm glad for u... It shows that you are easily amused

bukatyne:


Forceful sex without physical abuse?

How does that work?

ibkayee:

We keep veering off on tangents, dunno why we’re focusing on the topic of physical abuse despite what I’ve said.

Rape can happen via threats, emotional manipulation, verbal abuse and any other way you can coerce someone into doing something they don’t want to do without inflicting physical injuries.

bukatyne:


The previous OP would have helped you understand.


Rape via threat, emotional manipulation and verbal abuse.

If someone says you should put your hand inside fire else he would slap you, would you put it? This is my understanding of a threat.

I would like examples of your second paragraph.

ibkayee:

There is a spectrum of sexual assault, it isn’t just physical abuse.

If a person I knew could inflict some sort of harm
on me told me to put my hand in fire else he would slap me, there’s a chance I would. Or if they were in a position of power to threaten my livelihood for example, spread rumours about me etc, essentially holding me back in an area of life in one way or another. Threatening a family member/friend, threatening my child etc.

bukatyne:


You have not explained how this works in marriage.

bukatyne:


Fron your definition,

A husband has the right to his wife's body yet the wife has to allow him to touch it.

crackhaus:

Someone with an undiagnosed psychological problem reported it to 'her' supermod buddy. The supermod feeling invincible because he/she possesses imaginary powers & relevance otherwise lacking in the real world, deleted it as requested.

Welcome to NL where free speech is not actually free speech if it hurts the feelings of a moderator, or the feelings of someone who's close to a moderator. You're even lucky you were not banned.

And these are the same people that complain about government abusing their powers.

bukatyne:


Thanks

The thread was stating that while there is no marital rape, spouses who are violent in the act can be prosecuted for physical abuse.

LilMissFavvy:
Hmm.....it seems you are still convinced there is nothing like marital rape. I think the best advice you can read so far, is that ''you should have paraphrased the Topic as a question, not a statement'', I can recall you even told me it was a statement. Too bad that after I wasted so much time and followed the thread, it's wiped off. Tho am still trying to understand if that thread was worse off than the miseducation threads which I don't even follow, but which I think is much more offensive.

essenceplus:

You almost made me crack my ribs with laughter from reading this. You're actually spot on. Once a mods feelings or the feelings of people close to the mods are touched, you'll be more than lucky not to have your bank akkant broken . If its the popular one, you're dead, they'll twist things to fit their narrative. No matter what goes down,you'll take the fall

cococandy:
It’s obviously against the rules of NL because it’s a statement and not a question or a call to debate.

it just plainly advocates rape (being married doesn’t make it any less rape) even though that was your point. But it still just blatantly said rape was okay.

That being said, I wish the MOD who deleted it would do same for many posts all over NL that support barbaric practices against women. Setting us back thousands of years.

bukatyne:


If you read the thread, you would note that it did not advocate rape which is sex without consent.

I infact pointed some scenarios in marriage which would have been rape outside of it.

None of my posts have supported barbaric practices against women however, I will continue to highlight their responsibilities.

Husbands are also expected not to deny their wives sex which is not 'rape'.

crackhaus:

Lmao.. I tell ya.

Some of them can be so petty, it's hilarious.

crackhaus:

Wrong.

The thread was addressing the subject of 'marital rape'. More accurately, what it did was to eliminate the idea that there was even such a thing as marital rape in the first place based on the premise of marriage.
It was a perfect template for a discussion.

In Nigeria, rape is a crime, marital rape isn't.
What rules were broken?

How do we get it to be recognized as a crime as much as 'rape' is, if we don't talk about it?

bukatyne:
True change can never happen until we understand what was wrong with the old system and teach people better.

While I understand the emotions of the thread (wives were maltreated etc. etc.), we are going to create another set of problems tilting overboard.

Instead of teaching women that they are not bound to have sex with their husbands or have autonomy over their bodies (which is not true especially in a religious marriage), teach the men to be sensitive, selfless, loving and considerate.

Any other way will create people who will come out to vehemently 'campaign' against it while more men will physically abuse their wives or as 'cool' husbands cheat and ruin the family.

Same problem with women's rights.

essenceplus:




Our very own lil favvy with those juicy advice. Hmm, seems we have promising materials here. Sips kunu

Ranchhoddas:
I think there's a cabal on Nairaland especially on this section. Once the cabal is against you you stand no chance. The validity of your arguments nothwisthanding.
Once the cabal is "offended" you are toast.

LilMissFavvy:
My dear, I try to share my little contributions from time to time, send down down the kunu, cheers.