Go & do court wedding biko,it won't cost u up to 10k

pappy2000:
I need to start this write up that i met this lady early this year and i had another lady who from my analysis is not so much in love with me so when i finally met this lady, she was everything i desire in a woman, so we started dating and from dating i went to see her sister in Abuja then from Abuja i went to kogi to meet her parent.

I met her family late June 2019. So I work in a blue chip company with a salary of little more than 100k so but i realized the salary won't make me live my dream life so i took a loan from gtbank to buy a car and use for e hailing.

My fiancee was so much supportive that she on her own decided to add like 200k fund so i bought a toyota matix.

So when I gave out the car the people i gave it to were all misbehaving so i decided that i will drive the car, she was so cool and nice that she will do everything at my beck n call.

Now when i went to meet her sister in Abuja her sister insists that we should pick a date meanwhile in may when we were marking her birthday, she told me how sad she was due to the fact that she was marking her birthday and she is getting younger so i promise her then that we will marry this year. I told her in Novermber so we finally settle for a date and the sister spent her money.

Unfortunately for me things were not as i planned in the uber biz, i need a few repair here and then. Now we got days left to wedding and she has been very irrational. She is pregnant for me, each time she visits me, i will beg her, na the cry and cry. How I truly want a happy home.

It is all about finances.

That N200k she gave you that you have not paid is the problem.

Again, the Uber stuff you did.

I have not seen any Nigerian business man that has never burnt his fingers.

Your N100k would have seen you through but you went and took loan. Nawa..

pappy2000:
I used to think marriage should be full of bliss. I have begged and begged her. but its all falling on deaf ears

Pappy2000 calm down. Even with the way you.are lamenting on this thread, its clear that you can easily be bullied, manipulated and controlled easily.

1. Listen to me, DONT GO AHEAD WITH THE WEDDING. YOU ARE NOT IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY SEF.

2. PUT EVERYTHING ON HOLD

3. INSIST ON NO 2 WITH THE FAMILY.

4. IN ALL YOU SAID, YOU NEVER SPOKE OF
YOUR OWN FAMILY MEMBERS. DONT YOU HAVE ANY? are you an orphan?

5. You need a counsellor . just remove that thought from your mind of divorce after marriage.

I need to speak to you. Pm me so we can talk more off camera

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

Sell your car n buy okada??
I laugh in Cantonese
Bro, you have fallen trap to ur wife n her sis plan...
Your wife is the type that's been way overdue for marriage..and u r just the lucky victim n the support her sis gives was what led u to decide to marry her; A woman u haven't even dated for a year and half plus to be able to know her real behaviour
Now she's forcing u to quickly wed her n so is her sister too..
Maybe she's thought all along she'd never marry until u came into d scene..
Mr Oga stand ur ground.. Let the wedding wait but if they insist make dem drop the bar... U can't kil ya self
Secondly I suggest u shd seek spiritual counselling....
Good luck

Gloriagee:
Either she was pretending or its pregnancy hormones. Give her a proper talk and postpone the wedding if need be. Who sells a car to buy okada for heaven's sake?

This is the only one that shocked me...

statusquoante:


@bolded
Godliness with contentment is great gain - the Holy Bible.
How dare you quit your job to do uber And you took a loan
You are the architect of your misfortune!
Sorry!! I hope you get yourself again.

The guy is not grounded at all

I feel You are not telling us everything.

U dont leave a monthly paying job to start up a business dat is on trial/early stage and to pay back loan from d bank.

You dont plan marriage witout savings.

D lady is ova 34 and u didnt observe wat happened to oda men in ha life*i could be wrong on dis one*
She nided to get married cos of ha age.
She supported u wit 200k and u are talking about a brighter future wen u are suppose to be sorting tins like dis out as matured minds.

And i'm also having dis impression dat u acted like u had enough at d initial stage of the relationship.

I knw dis 21st century men cry but bro, u nid to wipe it since u did a court marriage.
You wont hang urself. carry d car put on d road n hussle for you and her and the baby.

Kip a deafening ear to her abuses and kip caring for her and d baby.
Give her time and be prayerful

Trust me, if u are 40yrs let ur mind be.
Sorry to say dis u sound like u r having a relationship fr d first tym.

You are both matured adults dis is annoying to read.

As for d sisters support tin, she knows her sista is off age and really wants her to settle down.

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

my brother not because she doesnt luv u,but those are signs of pregnancy so chille all those things will be bygone as soon as she put to birth

AerialMapper:
So in summary-

You work in a blue chip company and drive Uber / Taxify to supplement your salary, how you do this i don't know

You promised her marriage before the end of the year

End of year has reach and you cannot keep your promise

She is therefore pissed that you are reneging on your promise due to lack of funds

Lastly, you have eaten her work without protection and now she is pregnant!

...

This is what you have to do

Cover the traditional rites - Hopefully, you can afford this.

Do a court wedding - Legalise your union

Court and Reception are just formalities and a waste of money

It is too late to castigate you for making her pregnant when you can barely afford to maintain a family

Stop begging and crying and MAN up

He has done a court wedding already...

urose93:


'THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING'.
please someone should explain this to me. l am lost.

pappy2000:
I am i40 ears old and i have heard enough people telling me to go n marry now i am not finding any fulfillment in this union, she is asking for multiple things at a time and i cant go in the life of crime. I have pleaded with her for a better tomorrow what can i really do.. i AM THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING.

u are thinking of divorce wen u never marry,, why not stop the marriage instead ogf going into it and pulling out later

LyfeJennings:
Ti e ta
Lool
Na only prayers go fit help U o
No woman would stay with a struggling guy

You must be a wicked soul...... ndiara!!!

Reelmii:
u are thinking of divorce wen u never marry,, why not stop the marriage instead ogf going into it and pulling out later

Did you read the story at all? He has done court marriage.....

VeeVeeMyLuv:
bros u are collecting 100+ salary, in addition with supportive in-laws and your to be wife is still acting like this?

What if u were teacher collecting peatnuts salary what will happen to u?

Must u spend so much for marriage ceremony. Nawa!

Less than 1million he'll do a wedding with planning and everything if he is gonna listen to people who can advise him....

pappy2000:
The truth is that we have already done the court wedding the traditional marriage is around next two weeks, her sister has spent like 900,k on the wedding. She is 34 years old

On the highlighted comment. I have issues with this. You really made serious mistake to have allowed member of her family (the sister) to take financial responsibility for your burden. Why would you allow such? Before a man goes into marriage, he must be emotionally and financially competent to shoulder responsibility before and after marriage. But you pushed your financial responsibility to your sister in-law to be. That was a very big mistake. Was the 900k spent for wedding preparation, a loan or a non-refundable assistance ? If it's a loan, it means you are in serious problems and I would advise that as you steer clear from her(your fiancee) as advised by someone above, I would advise you start thinking of how to raise the 900K, for a refund because she would come after you for that money and you must be prepared for the unexpected.

Secondly, I do not subscribe to that wicked act called abortion, therefore you would have to take responsibility of that child after birth as this has become a reality you would have to live with for the rest of your life. It's a consequences for going against biblical principle but you can overcome this challenge if you go back to God in prayers seeking his face for help and guidance towards achieving your dream life.

Please keep us posted on this as things unfold, I'm very much interested in this challenge.

I wish you all the best in your endeavour.
Bye Bro.

0KNM:


Bro, I have dropped my own advice; quit now when you can. A failed relationship is better than failed marriage

Failed relationship? The dude said they did court marriage already. They are not in a relationship anymore.

You are already legally married to this lady. Be a man and sort things out with your pregnant wife. Stop whining like a pussy

pappy2000:



sorry its a story of my life just writing from the heart. i dont think i am writing bad english i am a graduate , I am writing this issue as its comes to my heart.

U are just a good guy and many of them that don't understand u might be dumb and blind. U see a man that is going through emotional battle,u are here calling him all sorts of name. May thunder fire all of u.
And for those mocking him,may u be mocked in everything u do. And to those who can't understand him and his writeup may u continue to lack in understanding. Stupid and konconbility.

pappy2000:
This is alady that I go on my knees when she visit me that I promise to worship her for the rest of my life Itold her I am ready to give her 50k out of my salary'yet she said that is not enough that she wants to open a shop , I am just damn tired her delivery date is April yet last week she told me she went to see a doctor to plead with him to evacuate the pregnancy

These simpanzees never learn.Tales of your sufferings always gives me great pleasure

pappy2000:
I need to start this write up that i met this lady early this year and i had another lady who from my analysis is not so much in love with me so when i finally met this lady, she was everything i desire in a woman, so we started dating and from dating i went to see her sister in Abuja then from Abuja i went to kogi to meet her parent.

I met her family late June 2019. So I work in a blue chip company with a salary of little more than 100k so but i realized the salary won't make me live my dream life so i took a loan from gtbank to buy a car and use for e hailing.

My fiancee was so much supportive that she on her own decided to add like 200k fund so i bought a toyota matix.

So when I gave out the car the people i gave it to were all misbehaving so i decided that i will drive the car, she was so cool and nice that she will do everything at my beck n call.

Now when i went to meet her sister in Abuja her sister insists that we should pick a date meanwhile in may when we were marking her birthday, she told me how sad she was due to the fact that she was marking her birthday and she is getting younger so i promise her then that we will marry this year. I told her in Novermber so we finally settle for a date and the sister spent her money.

Unfortunately for me things were not as i planned in the uber biz, i need a few repair here and then. Now we got days left to wedding and she has been very irrational. She is pregnant for me, each time she visits me, i will beg her, na the cry and cry. How I truly want a happy home.

Op... I really do feel for you at this time, it's not easy coping with certain pressures but leaving your woman and your unborn child is not the answer.

It's good enough you took some step in finding a solution to your financial stability but you have should know every business has it's risk and you should have made adequate plan to check mate the risk. Like the saying goes "if you do not fail, you will never learn". God will surely make you rise like a phoenix.

Please be patient with your lady, in as much this is hard for you, should also know this is a trying time for her as well and she is pregnant and most women at her stage can be very irrational in their decision and Very cranky.... You said she was nice to you in the beginning, supporting your vision, even giving you her money for the business wanted to start and so far her family has been very supportive of you. I think you have to be man enough and confront your problems, think of solutions and not burying you head in shame and running with your tails in-between your legs... If you leave her now, what is the assurance your next marriage trial will be better?, Why not fight for this first and know you gave it your all before making up your mind to quit. You are legally married you know, so if this one is going to be much an issue, you can call it off or better still ask her sister to speak with her.

You don't solve issues by running away from it oga... Think about your unborn child as well, would you want to deny him/her a good parentage without even trying first to be a good father.

seunmohmoh:
This wan wey you dey fear your wife sister. Nawao

Guys, you are not ready for marriage.

I don't think pappy2000 is scared of his supposed in-law (Wife sister) since he admitted she has spent over #900,000 on the wedding preparations.

It seems the Wife feels that he is not bouyant enough and since her sister has been spending seriously for them instead of the opposite,

Then she would be in control of his financial reward from work and the Uber business.

@ pappy2000, I think you don't need to quit the marriage, instead, confide in her sister and let her mediate and talk sense into her on what marriage entails (I believe she is married too).

Let her be schooled

On the need to be tolerant of one's hubby,

Being patient in marriage

On how to be respectful and loving

How not to undermine a hubby"s supremacy

Etc.


You see, the problem is because of her exposure and the celebrity lifestyle access she has, that is why she wants to flex muscle for someone that is supposed to be calm and cool headed in a new relationship unlike the bully she used to be with.

And that's why majority of Men always go to the villages in quote for their life partners instead of dating the City girls.

The moment you even mentioned KOGI STATE, I'm already thinking of a particular tribe because their girls are terrible wives since you said that she is insisting on you fulfilling all the marriage rights even in the face of being incapacitated for now.

They can frustrate their household and that's why their men nowadays prefer other tribes for marriages.

Imagine someone being bold enough to threaten abortion? Or she is only trying to coerce you into doing anything for her in submission though having understood how deeply in love you are with her

Are you from the same tribe but only based in Lagos?

pappy2000:
The truth is that we have already done the court wedding the traditional marriage is around next two weeks, her sister has spent like 900,k on the wedding. She is 34 years old

oh 34 i see...the age of desperados.

ladyGKilaBCrueD:
like how you gave up on us. quitter

OP you may be 40 years old but I can tell you for free that you are not emotionally and psychologically ready for marriage. Same goes for the lady. If your inlaws have put in so much (spent money) of up to N900k into the wedding preparation and still all the rites have not be completed, then there is a problem.

In fact, you are no longer on the driver seat! You are now a passenger and don't even know where the "vehicle" is heading. Maybe heading for a crash.

You never even complete marriage rites, you are already planning suicide. Are you okay at all?

Look put yourself together and go see a counselor. Put everything on hold and take a break to clear your head.

Thereafter, take charge and take control. Complete the other rites with a little money as possible whether your sister-in-law and her people like it or not. Remember your lady is already pregnant and pregnancy gives 9 months notice to adequately prepare for baby/babies that are coming. Start saving for post wedding expenses. Don't worry your wife-yo-be will calm down. Just be man enough to push ahead and do not let anyone intimidate you. It is well.

Skmoda360:

He has done a court wedding already...

Then they are legally married...

Shikena

mrpaedo:

These simpanzees never learn.Tales of your sufferings always gives me great pleasure

just like the earth, round and round then round it goes.

pappy2000:


the date of the wedding has been fixed..

Cancel it if you're not ready.

pappy2000:
I used to think marriage should be full of bliss. I have begged and begged her. but its all falling on deaf ears

sorry bro, it is ridiculous begging someone and it turn deaf ear. i can relate.

some people are not getting the full story i am an orphan, secondly i am still working

0KNM:
How many of such stories ended up getting better after marriage? Some of you do not learn. Maybe too scared to accept reality so yall prefer to deceive yourselves smh

Please what is the reality?.

That you can be the best of a man by running from every problem that come your way....my dear wake up.. life is real, it's not a bed of roses... You will encounter problems everywhere.

Marriage
Work
Finance
Relationship
Family etc

The first thing you owe your self, is facing your problems square-on and not run at first sight of it.... Give it your all and then if it doesn't work, you can put your head high and walk away.

This marriage is already on a bad foundation if you go ahead your name na sorry so just respect yourself and safe yourself from further actions

pappy2000:



What am I supposed to do brother, the reason why she said she left her ex was because that one na boxer, but I have for once hit her even when provoked,I think I made the mistake of my life , my thinking is to finish the wedding in November give her one month to displayher madness and then file a divorce early January, that lady used to be so loving that I didn't even pray about it,

It could be pregnancy hormones at play... if she is her first trimester the hormones are raging... you guys can chill for now to see how things goes.