Marri-age!!!
Huuuuum.

Personal cross o!

Patience+wisdom.

No money to complete already fixed wedding (even if it's marriage blessing without takeaway), but there will be money for divorce after wedding (who's still loosing).

Bro, wisdom, I said wisdom.
Don't always say 'yes' just to please people (no matter who).

Wisdom bro because your baby here is at stake. If you don't take care of him now as a father, you will definitely take care of him in his step father's house as a runaway father. Choose one.

Marriage has different stages, i learnt, so patient+wisdom.
Praying that your's will pass this stage and usher you into the peace you desire.

Note- next time, if the pressure becomes much, kindly inform the person to go ahead and borrow or take loan in his name only. That you will gradually repay him as your income is coming.

pappy2000:
I used to think marriage should be full of bliss. I have begged and begged her. but its all falling on deaf ears

Sorry to ask your wife to be is she Rakiya Asabe Halilu.If so run for ur dear life....

pappy2000:
I really dont want to brak her sister heart because she has spent her money n energy to make this realtionship work but now my wife is just irrational. I told her its a step at a time but she insisit i should do all, she is asking for phone i must her a new set of chair and do proper wedding all at once, she even suggested i should sell my car n buy okada

hian....this lady will kill you and still move on to be fvcking another man....this one pass pregnancy related hormones abeg. accept the child but man that lady aint your wife....run while you still can. if care is not taken...your BP go rise o...better go and check your BP for hospital...your mental health and balance is of utmost importance. never allow any lady put you under undue pressure

OP me I dnt understand this post o! Sounding all frustrated. That court wedding you've done eh! Hmm, plus she's pregnant. Just run away, dissappear. But be sending money for upkeep, till that wedding day pass. You can't just divorce somebody like that na. While away be talking sense into her head!

Running might be silly, so man up and tell these people to postpone the wedding till u get your affairs right.

pappy2000:
some people are not getting the full story i am an orphan, secondly i am still working

pappy2000, I don't know you but I'll advice you as if you're my own brother. please don't marry her. she is toxic and emotionally abusing you. she will not change. she does not love you or care about you. she only likes what you can do for her which is to marry her, have a society wedding to please the community, give her the Mrs title and children. You're dispensable. If she could get another man to give her these things, she'll toss you aside. As she's older and suitors are few, she decided to settle for you.

Please the signs are all there. Your plan to divorce her after marrying her is your intuition telling you to back off. Why are you so afraid to stand up to her? Don't be afraid. There's nothing to fear but fear itself. Be courageous.
Years from now, you'll thank yourself for the decision you made today.

Please don't marry her. She's a bad woman who doesn't love you.

Suspend the marriage And for now ....simple

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

Do not commit suicide because of a woman.
It is better you suspend or call off a marriage than take to suicide.

pappy2000:
I am i40 ears old and i have heard enough people telling me to go n marry now i am not finding any fulfillment in this union, she is asking for multiple things at a time and i cant go in the life of crime. I have pleaded with her for a better tomorrow what can i really do.. i AM THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING.

Why planning to invest money on something you kn dip within that you don't want and won't gives you joy? why? please oga if truly you don't want her, pls divorce her now before the marriage. when she born collect your pikky from her.

urose93:


'THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING'.
please someone should explain this to me. l am lost.

Never lost o
Op is an indecisive man & it is what has been responsible for all his mishaps. How will someone proceed with a wedding, wasting funds and resources that is not available, only to divorce after wedding. Lol

idesylvester:
Go and see a counselor with ur spouse

there's nothing a counsellor can do to convert an unrepentant nagging wife. no matter what d counsellor says she will com home and do worst. He shld end it now instead to waste his money.

pappy2000:

the date of the wedding has been fixed..

oga cancel it

AwkaetitiBabe:
But I thought he said she's loving, supportive and understanding? Even gave him 200k for d car, so I don't get where d bad attitude is coming from

Yes he said so but you know when women are desperate for something, In this case marriage, they become very uncontrollable and probably she doesn't want the marriage to even be postponed

pappy2000:




now she is everything i dont like in a delay i am even thinking of commiitting sucide because she conplains that i am not a man . I just cry and cry all day , i have no tears left in my eyes. she is just irratioanl always asking me for money.. she is very unloving , i am planning to ivorce her as soon as i marry her.

My dear, don't force yourself into getting married to her. all this while things were good, she didnt behave rudely to you until now that things are bad that is a red flag that if its get worse in the marriage for instance she will not have any option but frustrate u or to leave you and go. in fact, i see this as a test God is opening your eyes to this, don't make mistake slow down on the wedding allow her to give birth and see how it goes from there.

Skmoda360:

You must be a wicked soul...... ndiara!!!

U that U are not wicked
Give him Ur advice
Women don't stay with struggling men
It might be happening but I never see am

Rubbiish:

Never lost o
Op is an indecisive man & it is what has been responsible for all his mishaps. How will someone proceed with a wedding, wasting funds and resources that is not available, only to divorce after wedding. Lol

Exactly why I was lost.
Hmm, is really pathetic.

10 pages, Nigerians are great

Una try o, me I can't understand a word this guy is saying

LyfeJennings:
Ti e ta
Lool
Na only prayers go fit help U o
No woman would stay with a struggling guy

sims ur a teenager. I don't think a marid rational adult will utter dis. it hz a bad taste

Oga, never, I repeat, never abort that marriage. You have done the first part and she's already pregnant for you. The fact that she makes demands or acts somehow is normal. You love her and that's why you have come this far. You also have a beautiful baby coming on. Go on with the plans, just talk to her to take it a bit easy with you that everything is going to be OK. Keep looking for money and above all, TRUST GOD!!!

The vendor posting this service is a scammer...
I sent him money for data ad has since blocked me...
Please beware.

pappy2000:



i mentioned this to her loving sister but she insist that the wedding should continue that things will get better.

OP, are you being a fool at 40?
Her sister my foot.
Who's at the receiving end here?
Who's hurting here?
Your mental health you come first Mr man.
Better not throw away your happiness and sanity all in the name of marriage.

pappy2000:
i wish i am still single the truth is that i explained everything to her and i told her how much i earn now i am pay 45% loan on the car, should i cancel the wedding or i continue

At your age, you shouldn't be a push over

Hold on for the marriage let's see if it what's the marriage

Sir her down and tell her your disappointment in her and see if she too will say she us disappointed in you

Be a man and face the delivery if her pregnancy

Don't fail to let her know that your take home has a limit to what you guys can afford

Some ladies expect men and marriage to be a rocket science

Stop crying, real men don't cry

If you cancel the wedding tell her you can't cope for now, use that period to evaluate the marriage

But if she is from mogi state and Igbra to be precise, tread with caution because juju they go message for them

pappy2000:
I am i40 ears old and i have heard enough people telling me to go n marry now i am not finding any fulfillment in this union, she is asking for multiple things at a time and i cant go in the life of crime. I have pleaded with her for a better tomorrow what can i really do.. i AM THINKING OF DIVORCE AFTER THE WEDDING.

I have to be hash here, are you crazy. How can you let a woman turn ur life up side down to the point you are talking of suicide.

Look U better man up. Women can pretend like hell. She really wanted you to propose and get her pregnant then she will draw out her claws.

Marry her at your own Pearl. Just call it off. Or you might just die of heart break before your divorce.

Be a man for Christ sake. Stop taking shit man

pappy2000:
I used to think marriage should be full of bliss. I have begged and begged her. but its all falling on deaf ears

Pls stop begging her, you are adding fuel to the burning flame

Once you stop begging her, her madness will be under control

gerizzim:


sims ur a teenager. I don't think a marid rational adult will utter dis. it hz a bad taste

Ur opinion is 101% Ur prerogative.

pappy2000:




she is just not listening, each time i beg her that there is a better tomorrow. she just snubs me, she even told meshe wanted to abort the baby which is four month old when i threathen her that i am no longer interested

my life is not better than the life of my fathers

You are a weak man, that why she dey use u shine.

Oga tell her it over u can take her shit any more. Turn off your phone and go live your life.

In marriage there will always be up and down, u don't need to spend your life with someone who will make you feel like nothing when thing are bad.

This is a time she should support u. Infact she should push the wedding date to another time since your financially down.

She is desperate for marriage don't you see that her family are ready to do everything so you can take away their problem.


Oga receive sense, man up and don't give a sh*t

frozen70g:


Pls stop begging her, you are adding fuel to the burning flame

Once you stop begging her, her madness will be under control

women like to take men that are nice for granted. The only way to teach them a lesson is to let them eat their trash

Beatswim:
bros as a counsellor.. I married without a job for 5 years before God openwd a big way for me this year.. I married a nurse... So respectful... Highly tolerant and very understanding lady.. The question i need to ask u is dis... Are u a Christian? If yes then i dont feel u know about seeking God's face before u choose a woman... From inception this marriage is quite faulty.. U are going to this marriage because shes pregnant... That a bad foundation..that lady will frustrate you..beta accept her child and seek God's face for a life partner

Its wrong enough to have sex before marriage
Why having unprotected sex till it leads to pregnancy and forced rushed marriage?
Christianity is a lifestyle..Not a religion.

pappy2000:




I am crying daily. there is nothing wrong in trying business,even if one fails,she got an excellent family her sister even told me she is willing to borrow me money when i told her she said i am an idiot.

Why won't they borrow you money so that you can carry their problem away. Bros a woman called you idiot, and u are begging her, man u deserve better whopping. Once she said that you should have lock up your feeling and called of the marriage.

Infact take your phone now text her and and her family and tell them it is over. At the end of the message you intend to send to her put this in capital letter "To H*ll with u and u sh*t, it over". Don't off you phone, let text messages roll insults will follow no jus answer ignore everyone that can reach u on that matter, go out of the house and enjoy your life. Do that for 2weeks she go humble if u till want to continue with the marriage, make sure you hardening up and she will humble

Blackfriday:
Please how do one seek God's face in a marriage?..

Do God come down from heaven and give you the wife?

Not everyone will have a supportive wife like yours for 5 years without a job but want I don't understand is you asking him to quit now, even after they are legally married in the eyes of the LAW, so it's okay he leaves the lady while she's pregnant for him (4 months)...wow.

No life journey is easy, the young man has made some mistake already but he should have some balls and face his demons, that is what define successful men, you don't run at face of a any slight obstacle (you don't win that way), good things don't come easy, we all dream of so many beautiful things we want in life but Who says it's going to come like a fairly tale?.

You are married sir and I guess you have children now as well, so should understand how cranky so ladies can become when they are pregnant, coupled with a pressure of planning a marriage, baba... This man should be patient and pray to God for a better days... From his narrative the girls family have been nice to him, willing to support him and the lady herself have been good to him in the past, can't he give it his best instead of running away.... And the truth be told no woman will be happy a man who can't get things done, they don't leave with promises.

foundation in this so called marriage is a very faulty one.. It was based on that pregnancy solely.. I just gave an advice.. Its left for the op to follow his mind..

kannymoore:



"Marrying a woman because she is pregnant is a bad Christian fouundation"
What sort of nonsense advice is that?

Wasn't Jesus himself born from this same kain foundation?!


Some of you holier than thou folks are just one kain...

At the OP.... talk to the most reasonable member of your girls family and make them hear you out. If you still can't see reason with them then just opt out of the wedding.

You will not die in the end.

Take care of your kid though.

if the foundation be bad... What can the righteous do? Be wise bro

Blackfriday:
Please how do one seek God's face in a marriage?..

Do God come down from heaven and give you the wife?

Not everyone will have a supportive wife like yours for 5 years without a job but want I don't understand is you asking him to quit now, even after they are legally married in the eyes of the LAW, so it's okay he leaves the lady while she's pregnant for him (4 months)...wow.

No life journey is easy, the young man has made some mistake already but he should have some balls and face his demons, that is what define successful men, you don't run at face of a any slight obstacle (you don't win that way), good things don't come easy, we all dream of so many beautiful things we want in life but Who says it's going to come like a fairly tale?.

You are married sir and I guess you have children now as well, so should understand how cranky so ladies can become when they are pregnant, coupled with a pressure of planning a marriage, baba... This man should be patient and pray to God for a better days... From his narrative the girls family have been nice to him, willing to support him and the lady herself have been good to him in the past, can't he give it his best instead of running away.... And the truth be told no woman will be happy a man who can't get things done, they don't leave with promises.

Oil dey your head,you sabi something