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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ (46685 Views)
I Told My Girlfriend That I Am Getting Married & She Burst Into Tears / Help: I Am Getting Emotionally Attached To A Married Woman. / My Girlfriend Cheated Yet I Want To Continue With The Relationship (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by phantom(m): 8:42am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Bro, you are not prepared emotionally and financially for marriage at this time. QED You dont think things through before you do them. You act on impulse just to please others and in doing so, you've found yourself in a hole and because you are not logical, bold,realistic and mature( LIKE A MAN SHOULD BE), you are making that hole deeper by the 'knee jerk' reactions you take. Secondly, if you feel your wife's attitude is NOT because of the baby, you should let her go. This life is too short. You cannot kill yourself. A salary of 100k is enough for a woman who is humble, truly loves you and is willing to manage until things get better. You've not finished marrying this lady and shes already showing attitude. What will then happen in the marriage ? Why I said you were not ready financially is that your present salary cannot solve the growing responsibilities around you. 8 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by blazetitov: 8:43am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Bro, you need to calm down. Can hardly make a head or tail of your story. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by BarrElChapo(m): 8:44am On Nov 08, 2019 |
OP what you don't know is that no court will grant you a divorce until at least 2 years after a legally contracted marriage except in a case of adultery or non consummation of marriage but in the latter instance she is already pregnant. Sort yourselves out o before this marriage happens otherwise you'll be stuck in there for sometime. Goodluck 9 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by maestroferdi: 8:44am On Nov 08, 2019 |
statusquoante:They may not know it but the kind of vibes people who do transport business like cab driving is not the best there can be... It will take discipline to be displaying otherwise. It is always likely that this fellow comes home everyday dissipating on the partner the usual frustration and angst which is common with cab driving in Nigeria. Most times, the devil hides in the detail... 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by Nobody: 8:45am On Nov 08, 2019 |
What made you think she loved you initially, she was considering settling down quick and had to be nice to tie you down. I suggest you apologize to the lady you were with before you met her and then pray that things get better. You both should give yourself a break for the time being, everything was rushed, you met her this year and still want to get married this year, was she not with someone before? Did she take time to heal? Did you pray before deciding to marry her? Or it was all about sex for you. The foundation of your relationship was faulty, seek God's face in all sincerity and ask Him to guide you. 21 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by luminouz(m): 8:45am On Nov 08, 2019 |
0KNM:You believe the OP? Well,I don't!!! 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by REDDEVILS1(m): 8:46am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000: No kill yourself on top woman matter. Why marry her to the divorce? Don't go ahead with the wedding. Be a man and stop being a cry baby. Postpone the marriage. Walk her out next time she talks trash. She is on the losing side cos she is already pregnant. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by lafiagi007: 8:47am On Nov 08, 2019 |
selfwife:I believe this may be her situation, take this advice. Pregnancy comes with some sort of unpredictable behaviour in women, Imagine a woman waking you up in the middle of the night to go and buy her yoghurt, just be patient may be it's the pregnancy sha. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by AerialMapper: 8:47am On Nov 08, 2019 |
So in summary- You work in a blue chip company and drive Uber / Taxify to supplement your salary, how you do this i don't know You promised her marriage before the end of the year End of year has reach and you cannot keep your promise She is therefore pissed that you are reneging on your promise due to lack of funds Lastly, you have eaten her work without protection and now she is pregnant! ... This is what you have to do Cover the traditional rites - Hopefully, you can afford this. Do a court wedding - Legalise your union Church and Reception are just formalities and a waste of money It is too late to castigate you for making her pregnant when you can barely afford to maintain a family Stop begging and crying and MAN up 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by realestniggah: 8:48am On Nov 08, 2019 |
This 2019 it not a must to get married.. Marriage is for everyone don't let anyone put undue pressure on you |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by iSlayer: 8:48am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Pappy2000 I hope you see this, I know how you feel. My brother don't go ahead with that marriage, only more pain awaits you. Even if it's just a few days left now, CALL OFF the wedding and everybody should go their way. It's not your time yet. I hope you get me. 6 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by Sterope(f): 8:48am On Nov 08, 2019 |
I don't think that pregnancy is yours. pappy2000: 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by DNSPro: 8:49am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Is things like this that make me warn people who talk marriage and force people into an unhappy life. I will personally not go into a marriage if the woman can talk to me like this and trust me, divorce will be damn too easy for me at any time. Marriage is not a do or die affair. 4 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by akmath: 8:49am On Nov 08, 2019 |
You are thinking of divorce as soon as you marry her. sense will not kill you but foolishness will. No be people dey get baby mama here and there must you marry her. Before I 4get girl wey give you 200k when you wan buy car is very unloving abi? Fear God. 9 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by Ajixegun: 8:49am On Nov 08, 2019 |
ireneidiva:Google is your friend, but the intelligent ones don't need it as such. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by greenguy: 8:49am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Your story is actually very funny. I can relate well, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's good you guys see a councillor, may be from the church or an elder in the marriage business. You've made some mistakes already, complicated things and put your 'friendship' in jeopardy with some reckless statements. If only you knew this pressure from women during wedding planning is normal. My wife even asked me "How can you not prepare for ALL THESE THINGS?" on our traditional wedding when my pockets were completely flat. Lolz. My lesson? There's no single wedding that didn't experience things like this, no matter how rich you are. Women always have their expectations and dreams as far as marriage is concerned. You're not an understanding person. I won't judge you sha. But if you truly love her, stop making her promises and start showing her you care about her. That's all that matters. It's a phase and will pass. PS. Be careful of advises from Nairaland. Go sidon plan with your wife. 14 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by DNSPro: 8:49am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000:she was desperate bro. 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by manontree: 8:50am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Don't be foolish young man. At 40 you should know better This lady isn't your wife. No one should also barger you into marriage. The warning signs are all over the place Just back off and say you no do again. My guess is she would act nice and all that and wanna come back like she used in getting you. But the mask has slipped already and you have seen the monster you planned to marry or already married. Back off and dont do any further damage. See what next they do. I am betting she would vex and do a late term termination. So be it Dont talk her out of it. All the best man 1 Like |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by lati616: 8:50am On Nov 08, 2019 |
I think your problem is you tell her everything if you need help from the sister you cannot let her know that you got the hair from her 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by crazygod(m): 8:50am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by safarigirl(f): 8:52am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000:LOL. Do you think it is easy to get divorced? Go and ask Ubi Franklin and Lilian, they are still looking for a judge to grant their divorce petition. What will you tell the judge is your reason for divorce? Someone has used money to buy your loyalty and use it to force you into marriage to her sister, and you're saying she's nice. When people want to get rid of someone or something, they are always nice. Have you seen when boys want to sell okirika in market? Na wetin your fiancee sister dey do you so. You have already done registry wedding. You have put yourself in a tricky situation, because you will file that divorce petition by force. Las las, one divorce lawyer will eat the small money you're managing 15 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by Newbreed2018: 8:52am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000:what is bitter than death? Women! - Book of Ecclesiastics. 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by UcLloyd: 8:52am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Go ahead with the wedding, I believe things will pick up eventually. U've done court wedding already, u're legally married to her already. Don't mind those advising u not to go ahead with a wedding that's legally binding already. I feel your pain, I've been there, so I know exactly how you feel. Drop your account details let me support u in my own little way bro, one love 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by MichioKaku: 8:53am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by Mariangeles(f): 8:53am On Nov 08, 2019 |
ireneidiva:By patience. Always be patient enough to try to understand people . 14 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by BluntBoy(m): 8:53am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000: What do you mean the salary a little of 100k would not make you live your dream life? My brother, you don't have to start life big. All you need are plans. I am not saying you should not seek for better jobs, all I am saying is that the loan you took was very unnecessary to start with. Lack of patience is destroying you, my brother. You need to slow down. Don't join a business simply because others are doing it and seem to be making it. Join for a better reason after comprehensive plans. In my opinion, the court wedding is OK for now. You don't have enough resources, so don't force it. Remember that there is life after wedding. Moreover, you are both expecting a child. Childcare and the initial healthcare will further take a toll on you. As for your wife's incessant nagging and misbehavior, she is pregnant and she would be having a lot of mood swings. You are one of her caregivers and you can't afford to get worked up over her mood swings. Pregnancy itself is stressful, so you have to bear with her. I hate nagging myself, and it can really push anyone to the wall. But your wife is pregnant, and you have no choice but to take all the nagging like a dunce. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by fordgreen(m): 8:55am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Before every major decision in your life never overlook the point of prayer... You need to go back to God and ask for forgiveness of your sins. You erred and his mercies need to come on your life and union . The Oil of joy needs to rest on both partners if you both are God's will.. May God help you in Jesus name pappy2000: 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by opedaydydx9(m): 8:55am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000:must you marry 5 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by buzorcharles(m): 8:56am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000: guy bone up. stop crying. u will not die. with time all this will pass by. do ur biz and tell her u love her but anytime she pressurize u again u will disappear on her. and make sure u try ur best to take care of her but Dont try to do everything do the ones that are important. forget divorce for now. she will learn to take life jejely 3 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by kushme: 8:56am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000: Please, look for all those people and tell them what is happening.. Make una stop to dey listen to idiots, una no go hear. Just see your life now. 5 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by 15ssDRIVE(m): 8:56am On Nov 08, 2019 |
Bros, If you love Madam. Hold on tight. Let her see your reasons,and assurance that she is your life partner. No matter what!! All the people wey u see,laughing today in RR,Porsche,Bentley. U know wetin them eye see Rule number:1 Stop blaming people ...... Blame yourself for errors ...... Make life out of what you have........ Rule number 2222...... Imagine say Na ur sister Imagine she is your daughter... If she loves your for real,keep working things out and u will be suprised that soon ..... Super luck will shine on you guys......Ameennnn Come on tell us here after she born,say money don dey flow. 2 Likes |
Re: I Am Getting Married Yet I Am In So Much Pain/ by ednut1(m): 8:57am On Nov 08, 2019 |
pappy2000:how old is she |
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