| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Nobody: 2:25am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Afodot0022:
hmm op.. Your situation is just like mine aswell. I got married to my wife due to the pressure of pregnancy. even when she was pregnant, my family and friends was on my head to marry her due to not given birth out of wedlock. I was 30 at that time and she was 27. The issue is that i never really have that genue love for her which i also told her my mind but she still went ahead to do the wedding. After the wedding, issues upon issues. I know what it really means to live together with a woman that you dont really love. It like hell. She is very toxic and saucy. she never respected me on any basis. she argues with me almost everytime that the whole neighbours know we have issues. It was when i got married that my neighbours hear my voice cos they know me as a gentle and quiet man. have tried to make everything work but its just not working..anyway i myself am thinking of how to exit from the marriage cos it make me feel like am cage. op, abeg follow your mind and do whatever brings you peace of mind and happiness. never you endure unhappiness and sadness just in the name of being married. it doesnt worth it. Just ensure that kid dont suffer and also be there for him. cheers op Bro I’m in the mess as yours, mine disrespect me, insults me and even my brothers , she never regards or take any advice from me or even see me as the man that married her and paid her bride price and even did her marriage, She never appreciate anything I do for her and the most painful part of that the men she respects and honor outside are not even up to my Level or standards, She has once chased me out of the house during winter and there was nothing I could do because of the law, I had to lodge in an hotel for almost 2 weeks, this is the same girl I brought to Europe with my hard earned money . 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Fairview1: 2:33am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Mindfulness:
@bold
You have already answered your own question, haven't you? Don't let anybody fool you, cos there are more to marriage. It's more of what you make out of it. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Slynation(m): 2:38am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. Eya.... I understand perfectly because i was once in a sour relationship, so for once i wondered if my Ex can act this way when am not even seeing her on a daily basis, what would have happen if i had married such a person?? My brother e no easy at all, but one thing is certain is that she still loves you, if not she wouldn't have fought a lady on your behalf.... It means something is wrong somewhere, meet a councilor at the church or elderly person she can open up to, ur problems will be solved, but if u have tried all this and it didn't workout, kick her ass out 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by b0rn2fuck(m): 2:38am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. bringing in another woman is like bringing in another trouble, just stay relax, work on yourself, focus on your good living, never argue with your woman, accept her flops and act like you have free her, your Peace of mind is not negotiable even if you are jumping out of that relationship, not to extent of moving immediately with another woman, if you have a child, focus on quality education for the child and free yourself from unnecessary, women are devil, just pick your own and nurse the tin |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Slynation(m): 2:45am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Idolsbecomeriva:
Bro I’m in the mess as yours, mine disrespect me, insults me and even my brothers , she never regards or take any advice from me or even see me as the man that married her and paid her bride price and even did her marriage,
She never appreciate anything I do for her and the most painful part of that the men she respects and honor outside are not even up to my
Level or standards,
She has once chased me out of the house during winter and there was nothing I could do because of the law, I had to lodge in an hotel for almost 2 weeks, this is the same girl I brought to Europe with my hard earned money . Mehn... See problems oo  Sure say i go marry so |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by b0rn2fuck(m): 2:46am On Dec 19, 2019 |
This man don't know you are going to see hell since both of you aren't born from the same father and mother, even if you live in same place with your sister, its gonna be hell, the only different currently is you aren't living in the same roof with your new woman, maybe na that one go send you to early grave and we will have to write R.I.P, at least the new woman knew she has competitor , she will surely pretend, everyone has demon in them, I use to fight my woman almost everyday and now, I agree to everything she say as long as it won't have effect on my personality and business, there was some times she didn't want to cook, I did the cooking myself and she still eat, no one thought her to take over the again as even me self no even wan stop as it saves me a lot and give me enough experience in better jolly rice, I always do everything to avoid fight now even if I have to go outside ,take a bottle then off to bed. 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by EgunMogaji2: 2:48am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Dude, please divorce and move on already. You only go around once. |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by livebyday(m): 2:51am On Dec 19, 2019 |
xteve:
na so this marriage thing be? No it's not The op told a one sided story to make himself look like the victim I can bet if his wife come.here you will.hewr stories of how he cheats constantly Which woman will just come and fight his colleague Reminds of one wale guy in Abuja whose wife did same , the guy is a serial.cheat always cheating with one woman or the other ... See forget this guy , same way some year from now this new one he will also run from her 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by livebyday(m): 2:53am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Teaveapoet:
what if i say its too early to think you have met a new person.and what to settle down with her? you say this lady that has a child for you was your girlfriend, definitely things were going well before she got pregnant. why don't you sit her down and counsel her or both of you should meet a counselor or elders in your family. i don't see divorce as an option here and marrying another wife is more like double trouble. My dear forget this man,can't you see how he tried to paint himself as the victim This is a typical case of a cheater trying to find a way out of his marriage 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by livebyday(m): 2:54am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me You are married , make your marriage work , you are not a victim nor are you perfect , you sound like a manipulative person and very untrustworthy 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by EgunMogaji2: 2:54am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Idolsbecomeriva:
Bro I’m in the mess as yours, mine disrespect me, insults me and even my brothers , she never regards or take any advice from me or even see me as the man that married her and paid her bride price and even did her marriage,
She never appreciate anything I do for her and the most painful part of that the men she respects and honor outside are not even up to my
Level or standards,
She has once chased me out of the house during winter and there was nothing I could do because of the law, I had to lodge in an hotel for almost 2 weeks, this is the same girl I brought to Europe with my hard earned money . 2 Likes 
|
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by livebyday(m): 2:56am On Dec 19, 2019 |
LadySarah:
Nobody is perfect in anyway.While You are having problems with this one,the other one might send You to your grave.
I'm not saying You should endure,but to make You understand that You cant Enjoy a person until both of You decide to make it work.
Can You guys Go back to the drawing board and find out how and Where things started getting bad.
Do You feel You got pressured cos of the baby?
Did you love her before?
She might be feeling unfulfilled considering taking away her shakara period from her(pregnant at 19).
You knocked on the Door and did half rite,You are her husband.
Dear sis if you read his wording construction, this op is a very manipulative person, I am good at spotting them. He chooses his words to reflect victimhood .. do not trust a word he has typed here. I can bet my soul.if his wife comes here you will hear stories of endured cheating emotional and psychological abuse He is a narcissist 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by livebyday(m): 2:58am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Ginaz:
Still think more on it. don't rush to that new babe , the grass is not always greener on the other side . When you will have disputes with this new girl , will you jump to another lady?
Think carefully please . Perhaps , you and your wife should try to sort things out amicable, take a vacation with her and handle your child to someone who look after .
She’s the jealous type for she to fight a lady in your office because of you , and you proved her suspicions right by taking interest in another lady( that’s cheating).
Retraced your steps. You are at fault . My dear all you ladies are wasting your time.. this man is a manipulation expert.. Nothing he typed here is accurate. Trust me nothing , from his age to his background. He is trying to calm his guilt Ignore him. Let his wife come here and also recount her ordeal , you will shudder 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by deltateam: 3:02am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. Op there's no guarantee that this new person is better. I don't support your wife coming to fight your colleague. I believe though that she loves you and doesn't want to lose you that's why she fought for your love. I believe that the uncompleted rites is making her feel insecure. You two need to go on a romantic vacation. There's a reason that made you want to keep her. You need to assure her of your love both orally and practically. You are cheating on her and I believe she knows that's why she's protesting. You are not totally blameless. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by ussy09(m): 3:05am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Teaveapoet:
what if i say its too early to think you have met a new person.and what to settle down with her? you say this lady that has a child for you was your girlfriend, definitely things were going well before she got pregnant. why don't you sit her down and counsel her or both of you should meet a counselor or elders in your family. i don't see divorce as an option here and marrying another wife is more like double trouble. His cheating and don't want her to complain 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by golddare: 3:05am On Dec 19, 2019 |
I will advise you give your first woman another shot. The woman was not at fault, it's just a display of love, what would you have done when someone messes with your woman.
That your eyes that is shaking needs deliverance, you think you are not married, keep deceiving yourself cos once bride price is paid you are married.
Dont be deceived all women are the same, just like a clay in the potter's hand who decides what and how the pot looks.
Redeem yourself before you end up having women wahala, den no dey offend woman oo. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by deltateam: 3:08am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
Really am not talking even based on the new lady I met, what am asking is are we legally married? and if so do we keep enduring each other and for how long. Should I stay with her out of convenience because of what people in my church will say, my neighbours, friends, colleagues etc. Do we keep tolerating when we both know it was out of passion and youthful exuberance that landed us both in this. Oh God help me because my life is in a mess I hope someone understands me I understand you but you equally need to understand her. What are her life goals? Can you help her achieve them? She's under pressure too and stressed up. I think you are avoiding her but that is only strengthening her anger. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Halo22: 3:09am On Dec 19, 2019 |
In as much as am a supporter of divorce when necessary, I think there are some things that should be redirected here. First, for a lady to come and battle another lady cos of u, shows she loves you so much and can stand in for you anytime, anywhere. Secondly, the relationship turned marriage was never intentional but you guys had to go into it due to the virtue of ur position as the only son. You need to have a change of mindset and accept the fact that she is yours and you are his. More so, you said u are a sanguine. Most sanguines are always inbetween choices, notwithstanding their ages and positions. In fact, they keep on weighing options. I have many as friends and I know my experiences with them. So don't allow ur temperament to guide you completely at all times. Finally, as long as you have Paid her dowry, she is ur wife and divorcing her requires some traditional engagement, depending on her custom and yours. I have been in ur shoes before, though not married, it doesn't go all that easy. But don't forget that the devil you know is better than the angel you have not met. 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by BreconHills(m): 3:11am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Teaveapoet:
what if i say its too early to think you have met a new person.and what to settle down with her? you say this lady that has a child for you was your girlfriend, definitely things were going well before she got pregnant. why don't you sit her down and counsel her or both of you should meet a counselor or elders in your family. i don't see divorce as an option here and marrying another wife is more like double trouble. Well said, The way one leaves a marriage determines how they enter the next relationship. Marriage occurs at a much deeper level than court documents. Fusing is not something that is easily unravelled and only when sufficient time has been given towards processing the "why" and "how" of the situation. There is a high likelihood that a rebound relationship will fail. Sometimes it takes the rebound to fail for us to appreciate that failure like success is rarely down to one person. But pity the innocent person ( usually a woman) on the other side of the rebound. These people normally meet men when the man is struggling and their maternal instinct kicks. The same man will accuse her of fussy over protective, male castration when he starts getting stronger. If this man should remarry, he should give himself time to heal. Dont train wreck another persons life because of a temporary need that can be filled by time and reflection. Patience and deep meditation and discussion is needed. Especially as there is a child involved. 4 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by deltateam: 3:11am On Dec 19, 2019 |
golddare:
I will advise you give your first woman another shot. The woman was not at fault, it's just a display of love, what would you have done when someone messes with your woman.
That your eyes that is shaking needs deliverance, you think you are not married, keep deceiving yourself cos once bride price is paid you are married.
Dont be deceived all women are the same, just like a clay in the potter's hand who decides what and how the pot looks.
Redeem yourself before you end up having women wahala, den no dey offend woman oo. Yeah. Sometimes we are the architect of our own misfortune. Op is sowing doubt in her mind. She needs to be shown true love and you'll be surprised if she's the same woman you were complaining about. What are the things you people disagree about? Op left many details out. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Felicity001(m): 3:16am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
I appreciate you lot thanks Young man!!! You need to calm yourselve down. Listen no matter how you paint it you’re married oh, that thing you and family members went to do in her village is called the right bridal payment and that’s the way it’s supp to be done. You don’t need to have an elaborate party to know you’re married oh. You didn’t mention your father In your story, maybe his late or not I wouldn’t know but if he’s still alive go to him no matter what and get words of advice from him, this is the time you need a father’s advice. SM be it NL won’t help you what you’ll get is called collision of advice such won’t save a dying soul like you. You both are still very young and it’s a normal thing to quarrel and disagree and over react to almost everything because you two are not matured yet. But if you guys can go through this testing period and come out of it successfully believe me you’ll be glad and grateful to your mother for getting you to marry on time because I believe your child should be up to 4/5yrs by now, some men of 40/45 are even yet to have a child so count yourself privilege and appreciate a woman especially at her age to give you a baby. Lastly young man, all women are the same ooh don’t mind them and thats how they all behave, jealous, possessive, stubborn, and a lot so don’t think that girl you’re seeing will make any difference she will even be worse trust me. And look don’t ever believe everybody who is married is having a good time in their marriage, it’s a lie. As he dey hot for your seat na so the man you dey narrate your problem get him own too for house. Like I said all women are the same. My wife did even worse to me so no reason am, before we even got married we where having a misunderstanding at a point, I started seeing my HR, do you know that my wife who was my gf then called my HR in her phone I don’t know how she manage to get her number till today, gave her a serious warning of her life. Young man that was how that relationship ended and that call cost me my job few months later. Have they sacked you yet or give n you suspension? So youngman calm down. Fasten your seatbelt, hold onto your steering wheels and enjoy this thing call marriage and in end you’d noticed you enjoyed you ride despite all the bad roads, police, agboros, lastman, VIO, FRSC, soilders, thieves, others drivers in traffics abd worst more danfo drivers. Wish you best of luck 6 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by solomedoh: 3:22am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Are you sure of the new lady?
Please, the fight is normal Bros even the new lady will fight you in known time soon like after 3,4,5,6 months after.
Jesus move closer to God then, you will see everything will start to move on well l bet you. 2 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by ogbevireo(m): 3:39am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. You do not have what it takes to get married, even at this moment, because you are really young and patience is not yet something you understand fully. I will advise that you do not leave your relationship/marriage because you want to get married to someone else. If you don't want to be with your fiance/wife and mother of your child anymore, then say so. You have not really given a good reason why you should be apart though. You also sound like you never wanted to marry this young lady, but only acted like you wanted to because of the pregnancy. Take your time. Forget this your new relationship. You are not being faithful to your fiance. You are breaking your promises to her. Truthfully, you have a lot of the steering here. 3 Likes |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Correcto: 4:08am On Dec 19, 2019 |
This is just the OP's experience xteve:
na so this marriage thing be? 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Correcto: 4:15am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Trust me, you are cheating on her emotionally and probably other wise. She is too jealous, hence she can hold it. Learn to properly explain to your wife if she senses any uncomfortable message from a female. Show her love, let her know you truly love her and care about her feeling, then talk to her calmly about her behavior. She will change provided you stop womanizing. shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by yYot: 4:15am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Dignity5:
When you set off without God, you persist and endure without him. If you are truly sorry, put away divorce from your heart, seek him where He may be found, in His Word and incline your mind to do this will and he will order your steps. You are a religious bigot! You only want to use his case to peddle your religious beliefs. Those who started with your so called god not have problems as well? |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by Kingininge(m): 4:18am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Idolsbecomeriva:
Bro I’m in the mess as yours, mine disrespect me, insults me and even my brothers , she never regards or take any advice from me or even see me as the man that married her and paid her bride price and even did her marriage,
She never appreciate anything I do for her and the most painful part of that the men she respects and honor outside are not even up to my
Level or standards,
She has once chased me out of the house during winter and there was nothing I could do because of the law, I had to lodge in an hotel for almost 2 weeks, this is the same girl I brought to Europe with my hard earned money . Jesus! The Lord is your strength |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by joyandfaith: 4:21am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. happiness is personal decision. you can even remain unhappy as single person. if you are happy, people around you will be happy and vice versa. 1 Like |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by GeneralPula: 4:23am On Dec 19, 2019 |
shugaboy6102:
This is my story and I will appreciate if the mods can push it to front page so that others can read and learn from me, and I also need your honest comments and advice because you could be saving a drowning man.
I Am 29 years of age, a civil engineer by profession and a sanguine by temperament. Before my youth service @ age 24 I got my girl friend pregnant and I was scared of abortion so we decided to keep the baby with the full support of my mother and she agreed because I was an only son. After that, we proceeded to see her people with my mum and relatives to my girl friends village and we paid something on her head but didn't complete the whole traditional right, but this was not even the traditional wedding proper.
After that we saw ourselves as husbands and wife and we were living fine for sometime. After sometime, the relationship took a different turn as we were always fighting and didn't agree on even the slightest matter. I remember vividly one occasion we fought over a female colleague @ work who sent me a whatsapp message and why we fought was that she came to my work place and fought the young lady openly embarrassing me in the process in front of everyone.
There were times I would try to reconcile but she would blatantly refused, sometimes she will tell me she is fed up of this thing we call marriage and that she's looking for someone that I too should look for someone else.
Fast-forward I met a lady and one thing led to another and I started picking interest in her. It was never my intention to be with another woman but I don't have peace of mind and I feel I am loosing my mind.
Note: I haven't wedded in a church before or done a full traditional marriage. Here comes the question: would it be considered a divorce if I quit this union and marry this new lady?
I am full of unhappiness and pain and I don't want to live a life of endurance and pity. Pls nobody should pressure you into getting married, marriage is not a license to live a happy life. If you are single, I envy you. Some pipu no go still learn  |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by favour32(m): 4:32am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Divorce is an option! Do not let all these theorical and religious advisers direct you to an irredeemable mental turbulence! You feel the abstract emotional pains. They are in comfort zones giving you impractical lessons of life. So many are dead by trying to patch up mismatched unions not meant to be. Be a realist and face your problem head on! Quit now as the earlier the better. Life is too short to live in continuous agony.  Sort out how you are going to take care of your child. I don tok my own.I nor send anybody.  |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by davidadenrele: 4:39am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Hello,
With respect to diverse opinion ahead I will advised to come out plain have been to the registry, local government or any other government agencies to formalize your wedding?? Reasons for my asking you seems afraid by asking if you can get marry another person based the current crisis in your relationship if you have been to the registry or any other government agencies to legalize your marriage the answer to your question is NO!! but if you are certain then it means you can, ensure you take full responsibilities of feeding the baby involved.
You need to also work on temperament, from what i can deduce from your statement the lady in question is possessive and wants you to spend lavishly on her been that you are both still learning relationship tied down with a baby is far wide away from marriage in marriage is another level you just have keep trying, keep pushing, keep believing, marriage is for trial and errors not quilters it's for serious matured minds willing to go the extra mile to make it work.
Let go off the relationship you both aren't ready but you haven't learnt one of two things that will shape your emotions, thoughts and actions when the right person comes to you am sorry about present predicament but it's not over you still win |
| Re: Should I Keep Enduring In This Supposed Marriage? by davidadenrele: 4:45am On Dec 19, 2019 |
Hello,
With respect to diverse opinion ahead I will advised to come out plain have you been to the registry, local government or any other government agencies to formalize your wedding?? Reasons for my asking you seems afraid by asking if you can get marry to another person based the current crisis in your relationship if you have been to the registry or any other government agencies to legalize your marriage the answer to your question is NO!! but if you are certain then it means you can, ensure you take full responsibilities of the baby involved.
You need to also work on your temperament, from what i can deduce from your statement the lady in question is possessive and wants you to spend lavishly on her been that you are both still learning relationship tied down with a baby is far wide away from marriage, marriage is another level you just have to keep trying, keep pushing, keep believing, marriage is not for trial and errors not quitters it's for serious matured minds willing to go the extra mile to make it work.
Let go off the relationship you both aren't ready but you haven learnt one of two things that will shape your emotions, thoughts and actions when the right person comes to you am sorry about present predicament but it's not over you still win |
