crackhaus:

I don't like it either.

its enuf. see how I ignore d other one she want to run. mad. just stop d insult please shes a person I respect. she cant be right all d time

jakandeola:
its enuf. see how I ignore d other one she want to run. mad. just stop d insult please shes a person I respect. she cant be right all d time

Oh well...

As for that other one, she will run mad on top my matter too.
She started with being friendly with me some months back but I completely ignored her mentions because I sensed her intentions & honestly want nothing to do with the fvcker, yet the urchin refused to let me be then turned around to start raining insults on her people everytime on my mentions.

Someone that love could give high-blood pressure, what will rejection give her if not complete madness...

crackhaus:

You laughing uh, you know it's what you people like to do.

I may be joking but if we should dissect this, u will know that women- women fight in marriage is better than wife versus brothers in law.

Actually, I will love to fight with my sister's in law and know where I stand than kiss and kill brothers in law.
Women will only talk, fight, carry face etc but the brothers, father lawd.
Don't ever have a near jealous brother in law.
He will dissipate your husband. Men in other to spite their wives use brothers as next of kin( hope u are following my argument), once they kill him, property and money wahala. They will pursue u from your house and take over. If u will stay, u have to abide with their rules which might include sleeping with them.
Sisters in law can't fight custody of your husbands property with you, they will only instigate their brothers to act.

See, if our property is secured and my problem is only my sisters in law and I'm earning my own money, I will blank all of them. Wipe them away from my memory so anything they do won't bother me unless they came to my house to do that. Won't ask about them. And my husband deny me my conjugal right, I will give him time then report him to my people. Mtcheew.

u mean fountain of stupidity crauckhouse

sassysure:

I may be joking but if we should dissect this, u will know that women- women fight in marriage is better than wife versus brothers in law.

Actually, I will love to fight with my sister's in law and know where I stand than kiss and kill brothers in law.
Women will only talk, fight, carry face etc but the brothers, father lawd.
Don't ever have a near jealous brother in law.
He will dissipate your husband. Men in other to spite their wives use brothers as next of kin( hope u are following my argument), once they kill him, property and money wahala. They will pursue u from your house and take over. If u will stay, u have to abide with their rules which might include sleeping with them.
Sisters in law can't fight custody of your husbands property with you, they will only instigate their brothers to act.

See, if our property is secured and my problem is only my sisters in law and I'm earning my own money, I will blank all of them. Wipe them away from my memory so anything they do won't bother me unless they came to my house to do that. Won't ask about them. And my husband deny me my conjugal right, I will give him time then report him to my people. Mtcheew.

Lol, funny stuff.

Your last paragraph about blanking all of them and not letting anything they do bother you that much, is exactly what this OP might need to do after all.

Fountainofyouth:



Stop replying them, they ain't worth the attention.

Anifaza:
Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.
They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.
2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.
My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.
Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.
We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.
I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

Point one, your beliefs and that of your in laws are different
Two, your in laws have been in control of your husband for decades, and as his wife, they expect you to fall in line.
Three, your husband looks up to his sisters, they are his small mummies, he craves their approval.
With the loss of their parents, your husband and his siblings are trying to deepen their closeness, you are seen as the outsider.

My suggestions :
You need a big dose of patience. You are your husband's wife, stop seeing your in laws as your competition, your husband has enough love for all his loved ones.
Allow your in laws in your home if that's what your husband wants.
Keep to yourself as much as you can, as long as they are not asking you to be their maid. Whatever your husband wants to give his family, don't say anything against it, just agree with him.
In this case, you will be worried about your children's well being, if you feel like going out, tell hubby you wish to go out with kids, use your own money, take your hubby out sometimes too, tell him it's because you appreciate..... mention one big favor he has done for you.
Lastly, these women are older than you, respect them, apologize to the one you have issues with, apologize to your husband, don't cause trouble where there is little, your husband is not beating you, do you know how lucky you are?
Cheating is not the issue here, only nasty in laws, focus on improving your own lot in life, career or business. Look at your husband through the lens of how good he has been to you, then you will be able to make peace.

jakandeola:
u mean fountain of stupidity crauckhouse

Of course, the nutcase.

Look down and you will see some of her alternates on the thread doing what they do best.

crackhaus:

Of course, the nutcase.

Look down and you will see some of her alternates on the thread doing what they do best.

see it as one of dose tings.internet life were anybody talk to u anyhow. but in real life wont try it.

Anifaza
Sorry about all this, that's how one of my SIL was asking to stay permanently in our house after she left her husband's house due to irreconciliable differences.

We live in a mini flat with one kid so her staying would mean my hubby would have to start sleeping in parlor while she stays with me and baby on the room infact the few days she stayed with us after leaving her hisband, that was how he slept on the uncomfortable couch just to show her respect she is much older than him. She knew my hubby would not be happy about her living with us permanently so she came to make the request from me instead of him.
When she saw I wasn't going to agree to her staying, she instantly started becoming hostile, she left the house and started saying all sorts of offensive things about me to my husband on phone, telling him lies about how I called her a witch and refused to eat her food and how I insulted her the way nobody has ever insulted her in this life, infact the rubbish she said about me are tooo much. When she saw that he wasn't buying it because he knows I am the very quiet type that cannot even quarrel much less use such offensive words against her, she directed her lies to her other brother's family she started living with and only God knows what she told them because him and his wife that have been so friendly with me before are now so hostile and her other brother even ignores me when I greet him.

Dont mind my long story, I am only telling you this to help you know that you are not alone, many SILs just make it a point to frustrate their brother's wife, I don't know what kind of pleasure they derive from doing that. That is why many women don't even like husband's relatives living with them. They basically expect you to slave away for them and kill all your needs and desires to please them.

Good luck in your marriage, hope everything resolves itself soon.

crackhaus:

Lol, funny stuff.

Your last paragraph about blanking all of them and not letting anything they do bother you that much, is exactly what this OP might just need to do after all.

You called it funny abi?
I mentioned that cos I know what that issue has been causing all over the country.

As per the topic, don't blame the lady. Every woman want acceptance from her husband's family. Even when it's not working, u still see them trying harder hoping it will work.
But at the initial stage, if it is not working, be yourself and ignore all of them

Op. Hope you are working. Concentrate on your job and children. Marriage no be by force. Your husband is the problem not you. He ought to have drawn the line. As e no draw line you maintain your lane.

Peace.

bukatyne:


How does your SILs have such influence in your nuclear family?

The answer is already in her writeup naaaa!!!

You have a problem if so!!!

Concentrate on your marriage ans stop looking for headache

Report Her To Appropriate Authority . Take her to Baba Alawo to keep her mouth shout

Fountainofyouth:
What a manboy your husband is, how can his sisters have so much influence on him? Not even his mother? SMH!!! Ignore all of them, you don't need anyone's validation to exist in life, not even your husband, if he continues to side his sisters, pretend he doesn't exist and focus on your children.

I few days ago i was warning one feminist on the dangers of marrying a Mummy's boy aka a weak man that cannot stand up to the manipulations of his mother and sisters

You want him for you alone because he is doing well. I know your kinds.

You've begged, given gifts and they still dont want peace? Even married ones o...Ok sister, what's remaining now is prayer. Pray to God that what ever evil they want for you should go back to them. Shey they dont want you to have peace, then pray that they don't find peace in their homes also. Rubbish.

Use her for money rituals!

Or

Pay men to silence her for life.

isthatso:


I few days ago i was warning one feminist on the dangers of marrying a Mummy's boy aka a weak man that cannot stand up to the manipulations of his mother and sisters

They actually don't see it

It's built into the faculty that only some sound teaching of deliverance can take away

This is very common among yoruba men

report them to God and let God settle their case. it's obvious those people might have go diabolical on your husband or your husband is immature as it was stated above, whichever one it falls, prepare for the worse and hey don't let them frustrate you for you to do something silly



do they have head of the family(an old man they respect in the family) have you address this in his/their presence, do that while you report them to God. you've the right to be enjoying your dick and your husband money but you can't also deprive them from getting help from their brother


to think like a typical African, save for the rainy day. very important

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Since you said your hubby is the only one doing well in that family. Nah where the trouble come be that. Maybe your hubby has been give them a lot of money and gifts before you marry him and after una marriage, the gifts are not coming as it ought to. And if you and your hubby are financially strong before and after you met your husband it couldn't as been this battles you are facing now but maybe you also are like a gold-digger person. Anyway, you have tried but you need to work harder....The hard true is that since you're still tie to their brother, the family is expecting some responsibility from you which you have failed to do.
So, let elderly in this family call husband and his sister so as to know how best to solve your teething issue

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

Sentimentality!

Poison them all

Use dem for rituals and better ur marriage

Only God knows when this incessant fight between wives and their in law will end in Nigeria. Its now a menace. The average Nigerian wife is having this very problem. Wetin dey always cause am sef. Taking sides wont solve the problem we need to go to the root cause. Husband rarely have issues with their inlaw

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

You Married a mother's boy.... After the demise of his mother, his sisters filled that void and he owes them an allegiance.......

Solution : Give him an ultimatum...... It's either he is with you or them....

If he picks them, go for a trial separation........ Watch and observe, his brain might reset.......

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.

My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
 
Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

Updated

Thanks for your input. I truly appreciate. It all started in my ist year of marriage when I had my baby and still in school. My mum came to look after baby and few months later, I took in again of which I left baby with mum while I continued schooling.

They accused my hubby of allowing my mother to be the only one taking care of baby and not them. That in their tradition, mothers of wife have no say and influence in family affairs. This was a major issue and still is. While in my culture, nothing of such as we see nothing wrong here. They disrespect my mother till date because of this. I have caught one twice giving my mother bad eye.

2ndly, a distant relative came with high risk pregnancy with fibroid and I asked she comes to seek medical help and go back, when she came, it was war in my house that it is forbidden in their culture for a pregnant woman to come to another man's house which she's not pregnant for. She later left but loads of issues after this.

My in-laws come anytime even with their children .Every other week and weekend is in my house.
My husband will not take us out unless they are around.

Hubby's lil sis but older than me lived with me for 5 years and that's where the whole wahala persisted with her giving information. I began to see their collaboration through her and frustrated me to the very letter.

We had a fight and hubby asked her to leave. They all ganged up not to talk to me or hubby again which hubby is feeling alienated.
Hubby said his position is threatened in his family and I am the cause. I took care of his older sister who had complication in her surgery for 6 months in my house, non of them came to visit her in my house nor call me. Rather , She got well and told others that I didn't give her food that was why when one called her and she said she was in a restaurant to eat. Hubby and I had issue on this.

I am so fed up . I work and I contribute significantly in the family.
They see me as the one who eats their brother's money alone.
Hubby takes great financial care of them. I am just tired.

1. You should also be visiting them every weekend instead of them to be coming to your house always.

2. Not everyone that knock on your door, you should open door for. Let them come once or twice and pretend as if you are away from home, they will turn back and go to their house.

3. You and your children should go and spend xmas and new year holiday with them so as to know how easy it is for someone to be taking care of their responsibilities.

4. Take good care of your husband and children and progress with your career/work and have fun. You won't even have time for all this gossiping talk .

5. Pray that God should guide you and also be wise. Do not report their actions to your husband or anyone.

Your pseudo-submission has come to bite you in the ass. You have to deal with it. Ignore them and focus on your kids (typical advice we give a Nigerian wife). Nothing practical...

Years later when your children are grown, hopefully you don't abandon your husband in the family house and invade theirs to constitute nuisance. This is how it starts.

Wait o, you married the pillar of the home? Ah! Sorry is your name o. That is the easiest way to be hated by your inlaws na. Come be big baby join. Just endure ehn, he will soon old- no be Naija horseband again.

TonyeBarcanista:

Thank God you married a GREAT GUY
 
 
This is a generic term used by women when their bid to separate in-laws from their husbands failed them.


The older sisters are your own older sisters too. You have to be in their good book at all times as long as it isn't against your legitimate interest. As long as they are not telling you to do overboard


There is no manipulation whatsoever. It is you trying to separate your husband from his sisters. As a wife, you have to accept your in-laws as yours and live in peace with them as long as they aren't perpetuating evil against your interest. Your husband has lived with them for MANY years before he met you. He knows them better than you do. You have to find way to sort it with them than try to make him see reason to separate from them.

   What transpired among you in the 10 years? What is the recurring issue?

   
This is irrelevant to the subject

  
I'd do same if I was your hubby! There is no way you can claim to love hubby without showing same love and respect to his BLOOD!

  
Your mind has always been made up and you are done pretending! His elder siblings are all he has and you must take them.likewise


Go and make peace with your in-laws and stop creating this arrogance.

Do know that you will never enjoy hubby as long as you are warring with his blood!

If you like take the advice of all these frustrated, angry, bitter and aggressive feminists, and male she-men, NA YOU SABI

For the first time, I agree with your views.

The rascal has always wanted the husband to separate and hate his sisters, who trained him, since they are older.
The husband is doing well, that's where her problem lies. She wants the husband not to give anything to the sisters.

I was married to this type of idiot and divorced her after 5 years. The idiot will curse my sisters and mother and curse me for even giving my sister money. But when I give the same money to her siblings, its cool.

you Married a child .

ladies before u marry a first child or only male child please look into the family wella.
most times its always thug of war