Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

That's their way.

They will start forming victim.

If I am you, I will mandate her to go and buy that cloth as instructed. She must buy those clothes. Women are extremely wicked beings.

Stupid set of things manipulating men with EMOTIONS.

TonyeBarcanista:


Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

This is the dumbest thing I've heard all day

Good day my brother,

I am not sorry to say that you have over reacted to have tagged her wicked.
Yes, what she has done is very bad but, that doesn't warrant hash & bad names.

What I will suggest you should do now are:
1. Don't buy the clothe for the househelp in question. Note that your wife is suspicious now. Do not give more room for that suspicion.
2. Appeal to your wife, let her see reason(s) why she should buy cloth for her as much as possible.
3. Admonish her with word of God, sayings of Jesus Christ. eg Love your neighbour as your self. Do onto others what you expect from them. etc.
4. Let her know that the lady could as well call her for Xmas cloth if she is in the village.
May God help you.

AFONAMARO:

No mind the guy. He's mistaking family issue for political squabbles

I never thought I would say this but The thing is that Tonyebarcanista does have A POINT, though he didn't phrase it too correctly.

It's true that the woman felt threatened by the girl and it's true that ONE WAY the man could get through to her is by apologizing for not seeing it from her perspective.

The reason he is treating it as a political analysis is because it is somehow political, actually.

The problem is that he didn't see the leadership aspect of it but rather took it from a vulgar angle which is what made everybody vex for him.

People are getting angry that he accused OP of having feelings for the househelp and not of misunderstanding his wife which is a reflection of their own vanity and not that he is totally wrong.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Rubbish and No sense at all

Graxie:
Why are you engaging a minor as househelp? Why. Both you and your wife, you are horrible.

U re bleased u saw through my line of thinking

Oga go settle your domestic issues yourself, why bring it to the open biko?

Some women r like dat

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

You are extremely unrealistic.

What is the reason she is segregating between her children and her househelf if not wickedness ?

Women be behaving like female hen, even worse.

Not only hustling but pray for life as well

sunnychibs:


hustle hard ooo,so that your children will not become house helps.

See that your wife so en bros, she get black conscience...

[quote author=Unique357 post=85072102]In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Don't buy any clothes for the house help.. You'll be putting yourself in more troubles. Instead, tell your wife to send the young girl back to the village. Let her(your wife ) do the house chores. She's an ingrate!

Never mind, source out money for your house help.
Some women are better when there her in delima

Op you are a good man, there are a number of good points and advice said here already, go with them.
please do update us on the outcome

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

Now that you know your wife's opinion concerning her. Anything you want to give to her, give it to her directly. Don't discuss the issue with your wife anymore cos she ll never change. Some women are wired that way

Be very careful

Unique357, people like you are the reasons I still have hope in humanity.

You're a great man and you'll never lack what to feed your family with. May you reap the fruit of your labor.



As for your wife, remind her that today it might be another person's daughter as househelp, tomorrow she doesn't know where she would find herself or her children.

Remind her, she might not be here for her kids tomorrow, she should treat children of others as she would want hers to be treated.

I really don't know why women are so wicked to treat children of others like log of wood but treat their own as eggs.

Your wife is just a wicked woman.

sunnychibs:

hustle hard ooo,so that your children will not become house helps.

Graxie:
Why are you engaging a minor as househelp? Why. Both you and your wife, you are horrible.

fuckoff

FloraEC:
The heading tho
Your handle is new too, hope you're not trolling.


What she did was wrong, training a child doesn't end in feeding and education.
Was she in support of the help coming? Does she have any problem with the girl's family since they're related?
Try and buy the clothes for the girl yourself, hope she won't burn them.



Fortunately, she's already a mother to your children. For peace sake, try and take the girl back to her parents. If possible train her, buy her everything but let her be in her parents house to prevent woman beats up her help and accuses her of sleeping with her hubby

But what do I know self

U know nothing John Snow

jcross19:
you can do worst than op's wife ! when a man is in control of his house everything must be in order if not the man will end up like Adam.

How?

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

you have done your Gospel mind pls try and send the girl back home befor.your wife will lia allegation against u that you repaid her pls send the gal home sharply sharply

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.trash

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

trash

TemmyT002:


Carry your wahala and go
Fighting and keeping malice no be everything

Yen yen yen

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

send the girl back to her parents, you can still pay for her education because your wife will report you to your people n hers that u are sleeping with the girl.

dont take any house help again and make sure your wife plays her duties fully as a wife. if she is working tell her to resign, open a biz close to home for her. let her take care of your kids.

I hate nonsense.

Unique357:
Thank you for your inputs , I have no bad intentions towards that small girl , she is like my daughter I want her to be treated the same as every child in my house. I only gave my wife 2k to spend on the girl , a OK jeans and shirt and what’s 2k really ? , she bought 4 dresses for only our daughter , one for Christmas , new year , first Sunday of the year and for her 9th birthday coming on January 20th , and a pair of shoes , honestly she doesn’t need all those clothes , her wardrobes is full with beautiful dresses that she can rewear instead she should have buy something for the help and save the rest of the money. On Xmas all the children in my house will be looking good with their brand new clothes except her , do you expect me to clap for her ? I will not be happy seeing her looking like a trash . Someone who sacrifice her childhood for my children , she does takes good care of them 24 /7 i, I have hidden cameras in my house, I check it every single night to see if she does maltreat them behind our back , what I saw amaze me, she always treat them nice with so much patience. If my children have so much love for her and why can’t I and my wife treat her so well? Well for those that suggested to return her back to her parents , well I will speak with my mother in law because she brought the girl for us , so it will be better to hear her opinions. Thanks once again

The thing is, both you and your wife are very wicked people. The difference is, you still have a conscious. You gave your wife 2K to buy an Xmas clothe for your house help, one you claimed has been very good to your children. What will 2k buy in today's Nigeria? Even Okrika clothes are expensive. Why is it so hard to threat others kids the same way you threat yours?

I once saw a lady going to church with her help and a kid. The help wore a brand new bathroom slippers while the woman and her kid were expensively dressed. Looking at them you'll know the lady is very rich but can't affrod decent clothes and a pair of shoe for the help that practically takes care of her child and house. What's now the difference between you, your wife and this woman?

makydebbie:


Terrible idea.

He should buy her clothes when he wants to send her home. Maybe also buy her parents something too.
But seriously there's no biggy tho

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Better they don't have the help then, if she is that insecure. Or employ professionals

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

you just accused the OP of eyeing his house help. hypocrite.

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

You are disgusting me with your comments sir. An innocent girl is being denied excitement that comes with Christmas, all you could do is to give the it sexual coloration. The said girl is 15 for crying out loud. Everyone is not loose. If I was the one ( GOD FORBID ), I will take the girl back to her parents with all benefits as enjoyed in my home continued.

Mobree:
@OP, why are you guys using your wife's relative as a househelp sef? Not good o.

TBH, if you would get a domestic help, it is much better to get an "outsider" so you are under no other obligations asides what's on the contract and no sentiments will show up in your dealings with her.

About the issue, you should probably ask your wife what exactly is the issue cos it doesn't look like this has been a regular occurrence. I'm not in support of her attitude also but the, there might be more than you are seeing...especially since she's her relative.

dem never kidnap your pikin b4 ba?