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I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? - Romance (8) - Nairaland

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Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by Chukapage(m): 11:19am On Dec 26, 2019
Michellekabod2:

I am introverted. I guess entertaining and interesting will drain me.
I am just not into commitment.for no reason at all. Its tough to sustain my interest.
I understand how u feel , you're so independent on all round ,you draw energy from within ,so you just feel like ,you don't need anybody. That's why you get bored with people easily,you function perfectly well when you're ALONE,you socialize sometimes but it's always when YOU FEEL like ,you just want the attachment to be shallow and temporary,my advice for you is ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE.Not everybody needs that companionship steadily ,few times you want it but MOST times you don't want it because it wears you out! You're naturally a loner and people or relationships can't change that! There is a big possibility of you being VERY selfish too, you're not sick like some are saying you need therapy or pastor , Nothing is wrong with you just embrace yourself.

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Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by midnighter(f): 11:19am On Dec 26, 2019
SmellingAnus:
I pity for the guy... I can't imagine myself being with a girl that is forcing herself to be with me... It's better we break up than to experience such hell on earth...

Yes, some people are difficult to be with but that doesnt make them unloveable. It depends on how much effort they put into working on themselves and the relationship.

They need to discipline themselves so that they will not be at the mercy of their impulses. And think of the bigger picture and not just how theyre feeling right now.

I see potential in OP because she said that her conscience will not allow her to ghost the guy this time. All she needs is that small seed of conscience and she can develop it into something bigger that will be sustainable.

Thats if she's willing to do some emotional gymnastics. And let him in.

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:19am On Dec 26, 2019
Wait o. I'm yet to see franchasng and Pansophist comment

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by Masterclass32: 11:20am On Dec 26, 2019
Michellekabod2:
I am not going to create another moniker for this,i owe no one nothing!

I have spent most of my life single. I tried linking up with people but to no avail. Why? I will not do the blame game here. Is all my fault. I meet someone, get heed over heels for the person but I lose interest easily. When it comes to commitment, when the friendship is to get to the next level I ghost them. I don't know why. At best out of the blue I lose interest and become blank, not returning calls or replying messages, at worst I become disgusted at the fellow for no reason at all then move one to the next male friend. Nothing serious comes out of it...

So I decided to give up trying. My female friends and I go on an outing, some guys approach us and get our numbers. Months (sometimes years) later they are still waxing strong with the males, one of them even got married to one of them. But me? After a couple of weeks I find myself having to ghost the guy that I was head over heels for.

I gave up on love and chose to be single. I have been single for years now.

I met this guy march this year,we bonded like never before. I have never in my entire life felt like this before. It is so strange that each conversation we have all seems anew like we are starting all over.

It's almost ten months and the fire is still intense.
I have never had such a long friendship with a male. People assume we are dating. He gives me so much JOY... He is so awesome, different from all the others i have known. He changed me.

I just figured out i want to end the friendship, I don't know why. I am tired. I want to walk away. The passion is still there but i want to be away. I wanted to get a new SIM but my conscience will not. What has kept me from doing this is because i wonder how he will feel..

I want to walk away. Will i regret this?

will u regret this? Nobody can be sure. But with this attitude u will find it difficult to get married or stay married - that's if marriage is your thing.

Meanwhile, U seem to have abandonment issues. U want intimacy but are afraid of it at the same time. U abandon people before they abandon u. U may have Avoidant Attachment Style. Take a look https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2017/03/avoidant-attachment-style-change/

5 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by pansophist(m): 11:21am On Dec 26, 2019
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by midnighter(f): 11:21am On Dec 26, 2019
pansophist:
Many times, we fail to realize that the grass is not greener, we only have to water the one we are in.

Brilliant

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:22am On Dec 26, 2019
My dear let me cut the grammar you will find it difficult to get married or stay married if you even get married. If you seek the right solutions early, it will do you good. I recommend MFM, or any major deliverance church. They handle this situation very very well. In one sentence, you need to undergo spiritual deliverance

2 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:23am On Dec 26, 2019
pansophist:
A relationship is a work. It's like a job, you have to work hard to get in, and even harder to stay in it. A good relationship is not one without challenges, but one where the partners are determined to make it work. A relationship is a decision that is predicated on reasoning, just as with feelings.

I'm not sure how old you are, though I suspect you're going and likely in your 20's, which is quite usual for people of such age to feel this way. From your write up, it is clear that you want a renewing excitement, a constant butterfly feeling, and the romanticized mainstream idea of a perfect relationship, which is quite unreal.

I can't tell if you'll regret it, but you'll have to come to terms with the realities that characterize interpersonal relationships. It will get boring, the excitement will not be usual, and your partner will annoy the hell out of you, etc. It is not a bed of roses. This is why it is absolutely necessary to seek inherent qualities that matter in the long run such as compatibility, honesty, communication, attractions, integrity, a sense of responsibility, positive masculinity, etc. Many times, we fail to realize that the grass is not greener, we only have to water the one we are in.




I concur, the elder himself

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by follock007(m): 11:23am On Dec 26, 2019
I is called the "I WANT SOMEBODY, LIKE YOU, BUT NOT YOU" syndrome... I presume that your subconscious is making you to do this to pay back at your first love who have moved on.... it is certain that you will someday regret this when you fully settle with the man of your dreams that resemble your first love.

3 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by ADBOK: 11:24am On Dec 26, 2019
healthserve:
Stop using people. Be better. Stop taking people for a ride with your emotional recklessness


Use and discard. Passive Narcissistic personality disorder. Go see a therapist. You're a destroyer


You also have an over-inflated ego. The world doesn't revolve around you. And No, you're not too good for everyone.


You're an egomaniac that exists for feel-good vibes only with a detached feeling from regular existence. Go see a therapist. You're pathetic
GBAM!!!

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:26am On Dec 26, 2019
drlaykay:

How effective is this method of conditioning? People with these chronic disorders end up making escuses for themselves and continue their lifestyle...
BTW, you are intelligent, I must say!


Sorry are you a therapist/doctor?

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by iLegendd(m): 11:27am On Dec 26, 2019
Sorry.

3 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by pansophist(m): 11:27am On Dec 26, 2019
healthserve:
My dear let me cut the grammar you will find it difficult to get married or stay married if you even get married. If you seek the right solutions early, it will do you good. I recommend MFM, or any major deliverance church. They handle this situation very very well. In one sentence, you need to undergo spiritual deliverance

No be only spiritual, na industrial deliverance grin Nigerians and church, na wa o. It's a phase, the op will pass it with time and sadly, she may have lost really good men then, and may not vibe well with the present options.

It's a paradox of choice, which states that an abundance of choice can often lead to feelings of anxiety, loneliness and depression.when you have just one option, it's about picking it or not, but with more, you end up not picking anything since it is believed that there is something better out there.

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Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:31am On Dec 26, 2019
pansophist:


No be only spiritual, na industrial deliverance grin Nigerians and church, na wa o. It's a phase, the op will pass it with time and sadly, she may have lost really good men then, and may not vibe well with the present options.

It's a paradox of choice, which states that an abundance of choice can often lead to feelings of anxiety, loneliness and depression.when you have just one option, it's about picking it or not, but with more, you end up not picking anything since it is believed that there is something better out there.



Trust me bro. These problems cuts across psychological and spiritual planes. And we often see issues based on the paths we're opened too..the intelligent mind like yours would see the psychological plane, but the spiritual intelligent man would see the issues across both spiritual and intellectual planes


Many alot I mean alot of ladies have these issues presently. Those who know know. Its not what will be believed without deep personal experience. Trust me.


I know. It can't be explained, if it's not known, it's not known



... And since all things physical emanates from the spiritual, then it's a no-brainer if a situation is spiritually diagnosed

2 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by OnlineWell(m): 11:33am On Dec 26, 2019
The less needy you are in a relationship - the less you will be afraid of getting dumped. If you feel that this is not just anxiety - but full blown paralyzing phobia, you might need to see a psychologist or a hypnotist, it probably goes back to events in childhood, or even in a past life.

I provide phone number of any country for verification.
Do check my signature .
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by FromZeroToHero(m): 11:34am On Dec 26, 2019
Spiritual husband at work.

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by drezo(m): 11:35am On Dec 26, 2019
Let's just say you don't want to be anybody's FOOL.

Which you must be one day OR be miserable and LOST in this world.

You just have to give it a shot, you might be lucky in your attempt, instead of a FOOL, you will be Happy.

2 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by Nobody: 11:35am On Dec 26, 2019
healthserve:
Stop using people. Be better. Stop taking people for a ride with your emotional recklessness


Use and discard. Passive Narcissistic personality disorder. Go see a therapist. You're a destroyer


You also have an over-inflated ego. The world doesn't revolve around you. And No, you're not too good for everyone.


You're an egomaniac that exists for feel-good vibes only with a detached feeling from regular existence. Go see a therapist. You're pathetic

I had to login just because of this comment. healthserve, your comment is fire. It's everything. It's right on the money. I needed to read this today. Thank you very much.

2 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:36am On Dec 26, 2019
kneehighbootz:


I had to login just because of this comment. healthserve, your comment is fire. It's everything. It's right on the money. I needed to read this today. Thank you very much.



cheesy I'm enjoying my final days on the forum. Glad I made you chuckle abit

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by ikcid: 11:37am On Dec 26, 2019
healthserve:




Trust me bro. These problems cuts across psychological and spiritual planes. And we often see issues based on the paths we're opened too..the intelligent mind like yours would see the psychological plane, but the spiritual intelligent man would see the issues across both spiritual and intellectual planes


Many alot I mean alot of ladies have these issues presently. Those who know know. Its not what will be believed without deep personal experience. Trust me.


I know. It can't be explained, if it's not known, it's not known



... And since all things physical emanates from the spiritual, then it's a no-brainer if a situation is spiritually diagnosed
Are you speaking from a point of experience?? You have a vivid picture of what the OP has painted up there. If you're not a psychologist, then you may be speaking from a point of certainty.

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by dave4rella(m): 11:38am On Dec 26, 2019
angry

Start Olosho work
I think that's your calling
But menopause will shock you sha
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by healthserve(m): 11:42am On Dec 26, 2019
ikcid:

Are you speaking from a point of experience?? You have a vivid picture of what the OP has painted up there. If you're not a psychologist, then you may be speaking from a point of certainty.


I have dated intelligent women like this in the past.. So from personal experience. Even my last chick had this same issue. Beautiful Canadian chick. Once it hits marriage/commitment point it ruins.


In my course of being in active spiritual service, I've experienced countless of ladies with this exact problem. Through thorough studies, the op will get answers from all planes if she desires to but first she most hate the dejavu with deep hatred.


1. Solution begins with awareness of her condition


2. She has to hate the condition more than she'll like to walk away to induce greater staying power


3. She needs to learn how to be in the moment/stay when not excited


4. With prayer, she'll make greater progress



I've seen atleast 30 - 50 ladies during active spiritual service, and I can say with 100% exactness it's more spiritual than any other way and she should go for deliverance


To prove its spiritual, one question is always asked. Which this Op can also be asked to answer... Doesn't she experience strange sex dreams?

2 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by paparazi1(m): 11:42am On Dec 26, 2019
Michellekabod2:
I am not going to create another moniker for this,i owe no one nothing!

I have spent most of my life single. I tried linking up with people but to no avail. Why? I will not do the blame game here. Is all my fault. I meet someone, get heed over heels for the person but I lose interest easily. When it comes to commitment, when the friendship is to get to the next level I ghost them. I don't know why. At best out of the blue I lose interest and become blank, not returning calls or replying messages, at worst I become disgusted at the fellow for no reason at all then move one to the next male friend. Nothing serious comes out of it...

So I decided to give up trying. My female friends and I go on an outing, some guys approach us and get our numbers. Months (sometimes years) later they are still waxing strong with the males, one of them even got married to one of them. But me? After a couple of weeks I find myself having to ghost the guy that I was head over heels for.

I gave up on love and chose to be single. I have been single for years now.

I met this guy march this year,we bonded like never before. I have never in my entire life felt like this before. It is so strange that each conversation we have all seems anew like we are starting all over.

It's almost ten months and the fire is still intense.
I have never had such a long friendship with a male. People assume we are dating. He gives me so much JOY... He is so awesome, different from all the others i have known. He changed me.

I just figured out i want to end the friendship, I don't know why. I am tired. I want to walk away. The passion is still there but i want to be away. I wanted to get a new SIM but my conscience will not. What has kept me from doing this is because i wonder how he will feel..

I want to walk away. Will i regret this?
Sorry i took time to go through your write up and discovered that
my previous questions have been answered by you. Now you dont need to blame yourself
bec you are not the cause of what is happening to you. The answer is that you need Jesus. I dont know if you are
a believer, but if you do, locate a praying Bible believing church or ministry with a clear foundation, get some
deliverance prayers and sections. Some marine entity might be claiming to be your spirit husbands.
You MUST not do this prayers in a church with a questionable foundation or those men who does not use
Gods power to run their church or ministry. thank me latter.
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by mechanics(m): 11:50am On Dec 26, 2019
It depends on what you want, mind you, it won't be easy staying single just like that, you need to get the solution to what you are facing now and get settled down on time.

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by mcameo: 11:50am On Dec 26, 2019
What are you holding back from, what are you scared of. Someone very important left you earlier on in life, and you are taking it out on everyone, you have commitment issues, you are a coward, that can't admit to some happiness, what are you running away from?, you think loneliness is cool, hold one, let me surpress a laughter.
Hold on to that guy, if you lose him, you may never find an
Ounces of joy. Get off your high horse, and be grateful of love and being loved.

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by sheriffindy(m): 11:51am On Dec 26, 2019
You have a spiritual husband
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by Nobody: 11:51am On Dec 26, 2019
Hoelosho
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by Hangulsaram: 11:54am On Dec 26, 2019
Go to Mountain of Fire
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by Nobody: 11:55am On Dec 26, 2019
cEEDii:
Rare to see ladies dump a guy... Please stop telling yourself that. You were dumped way before you realized your were head over heels with them guys! shine your eyes
Ladies don't dump guys? lol this is the funniest thing I've ever read on NL. cheesy
Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by sharone21(f): 11:57am On Dec 26, 2019
Lightangel65:


Or he may just use her who knows, but if he is as kind-hearted as you say just give a try, after all what's there to loose.
I didn't know girls were capable of love

Ladies or MEN? ....The last time I checked, men are FICKLE and easily distracted when it comes to love....it makes females scared of love.

1 Like

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by BreconHills(m): 11:59am On Dec 26, 2019
Ariza:
Dear Michelle ,

I understand your situation perfectly because you described me up there. The only difference is I've decided to change this and do better next year. Yes I'm hoping to put an end to over four years single hood grin grin. Whatever till will take I will force myself to accept and be with someone.

From my self evaluation, diagnosis and analysis I have come to realize that I ghost out on guys because of past experience. Yes some years ago I vowed never to get romantically involved with guys when my ex let me down. You know that feeling when you have decided to make something work, do everything to make this a reality, accept lots of shiits and make a lot of sacrifices only to be cheated on?. Subconsciously, this vow manifest and I've always find it difficult to relate with guys emotionally/romantically. I move away and cut ties as soon as a guy shows interest and keep him at arms length. I make friends with guys a lot but emotionally keep my distance to prevent them from falling in love or catching feelings which may ruin our friendship.


Babe, sit yourself down meditate and do your research within you.When you know the problem only then can you find a solution. I've done mine and I'm getting prepared to embark on the healing process. Please do yours too. And you may call the guy and relate everything to him, if he is the right one he will make your transformation process easier.

I am not sure that this is the answer. There may be nothing wrong with either of you.

What is missing is that no one is making an epic call beyond settling down, having children and living comfortably till you die. Nobody is designed to be satisfied with this. Unless you make do and obviously neither of you want to do this.

There are about 8 human drives that motivate us to make changes, bear inconvenience, and be the best version of ourselves:
1. Meaning, 2.Empowerment 3. Social influence 4. Unpredictability 5. Loss avoidance, 6. Scarcity, 7 Ownership and 8. Accomplishment. Most of us are strongly influenced by 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. But not you. You are one of those 1%ers that are looking for 1. Not even 2 or 8.

Unless you feel you are signing on to an epic adventure full of twists and turns you will lose interest over time. But this doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you. What causes are you interested in? What makes you fulfilled or really angry. As you chase meaning and perhaps accomplishment and empowerment ( beyond houses, cars and possessions) you and your soul mate will find each other.

You cannot self-diagnose based on what the majority of people do. They may all be wrong. I didnt know this when I married 15 years ago but thank God my wife and I were able to find convergence and avoid the " dissatisfied on the inside, happy on the outside state of many marriages.

Explore your deepest drives; what's your ikigai? What would you want to be remembered for. Let it lead you. Dont settle for less.

5 Likes

Re: I Easily Lose Interest In Guys, Will I Regret This? by franchasng: 11:59am On Dec 26, 2019
Michellekabod2:
I am not going to create another moniker for this,i owe no one nothing!

I have spent most of my life single. I tried linking up with people but to no avail. Why? I will not do the blame game here. Is all my fault. I meet someone, get heed over heels for the person but I lose interest easily. When it comes to commitment, when the friendship is to get to the next level I ghost them. I don't know why. At best out of the blue I lose interest and become blank, not returning calls or replying messages, at worst I become disgusted at the fellow for no reason at all then move one to the next male friend. Nothing serious comes out of it...

So I decided to give up trying. My female friends and I go on an outing, some guys approach us and get our numbers. Months (sometimes years) later they are still waxing strong with the males, one of them even got married to one of them. But me? After a couple of weeks I find myself having to ghost the guy that I was head over heels for.

I gave up on love and chose to be single. I have been single for years now.

I met this guy march this year,we bonded like never before. I have never in my entire life felt like this before. It is so strange that each conversation we have all seems anew like we are starting all over.

It's almost ten months and the fire is still intense.
I have never had such a long friendship with a male. People assume we are dating. He gives me so much JOY... He is so awesome, different from all the others i have known. He changed me.

I just figured out i want to end the friendship, I don't know why. I am tired. I want to walk away. The passion is still there but i want to be away. I wanted to get a new SIM but my conscience will not. What has kept me from doing this is because i wonder how he will feel..

I want to walk away. Will i regret this?
Lol, from the stories my grandma use to tell me back then in the village when we visit her, I think you have the spirit of Ogbanje.....we have the male versions too...I was like you some years back...I hated girls from Primary/secondary school till 3rd year in uni....I avoided girls at all cost and this made girls to dislike me a lot then too lol....then I later started admiring girls from 4th year, the very extremely beautiful ones....and funny enough they liked me easily back then maybe because I was kind of good academically and had this baby innocent look + one funny eye that made ladies always smile at me.

Gradually I started becoming friends with few pretty girls and deep down I liked down in my heart but that spirit of Ogbanje will never let me commit to them emotionally...I will always be the one to blank them, stop picking calls, stop replying sms, yet I always masturbated maybe once in 2 weeks or something lol.... but will still be avoiding ladies at all cost....all my friends knew me so well that they always call me "Reverend Father" even though I wasn't a Catholic and they didn't know I used to masturbate in secret lol.

And I wasn't even a born again.....I was more of a religious moralist who believed in doing good and living right....but when I later started getting close to God and become close to a born again through Nigerian Christian Corpers Fellowship NCCF during my NYSC, my life started to change after an altar call...I started feeling more free with ladies and started mingling with ladies and even started my first ever known relationship (only known to close friends though)....and from there....I became free even though I still had fear of commitment, but with time, I became a commander of women lolz....and to the glory of God today, I happily, and excitedly married to my hearthtrob, the best woman on earth after my mother of course grin grin


My point is, you maybe under an extraordinary power influence, its even more common among ladies...and you may not know...you may need a spiritual deliverance....forget your status or your exposure or where you live....even if you are in Yankee....even US President Donald Trump who loves women and a billionaire still respect God and believes so much in God's divine power, so get close to God, don't listen to what some pretenders and so called atheists and moralists will tell you here...try God and see wink

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