Cheato64:
I got married in 2018, I love my wife so much and I know she loves me too but my wife is too dramatic.

She always claim she trusts me but mehn she doesn't let me out of her sight. I do everything and it's affecting me, we have a son and another is on the way, she has refused to learn how to drive on purpose, I take her everywhere, antenatal, market (hate this one the most), I drop and pick her from work, am forced to go church or other programs which I wouldn't like to go.

She goes through my phone every 3 days most especially at night. She noticed I snore I asked for a separate room, she will never let me, she Insists we sleep with light on.

Sometimes I pray for Nepa to take light. The day I called an ex that works in bank to assist me with transaction due to crowd, she went through my phone saw it, I had to explain out of anger she smashed my phone she does this very often she has smashed hers b4.

I feel like running away for a week but I can't leave my work or our son and she might go to my parents which I wouldn't want.

Pls I need help on how to tackle this wahala

You saw all these coming Mahn, but Toto too sweet and you tolerated all and pampered her into marriage. When the craving for sensual pleasure and gratification is given precedence over propriety , there is nothing Nairaland can offer you when reaping time comes. Endure your harvest.
Even the God who alone can reorder your life is the one you
claim to avoid by running away from holy fellowship

Use your brain, stop jumping to unless conclusion,at least even if you arent married u saw ur parent, did your mother kill your father. The whole write up here is just a wife who loves attention and wants her husband to her self, there is a saying in yoruba that says *its what you drop that goat will carry.

themonk:
You are married to someone who might kill you someday.

I like that woman lo!

sassysure:

So u think that men who don't attend antenatal with their wives are doing the right thing?
Men are meant to go to antenatal with their pregnant wives!

A man that fixed my dish one time said that he alone took care of his wife and 3 kids that crucial first few months. That post pregnancy birth etc he did it.
A full blooded Nigerian man!
It is your responsibility.
Not mother inlaw or house maids.
Guess where he learnt what to do, at antenatal class.

Coming online to say all these is a man's responsibility doesn't make it so. It's wishful thinking and a good-to-have.

Did your father do that for your mum? Does that mean men who don'ts go to antenatal are irresponsible?

People should stop saying rubbish online abeg

catoluy:
All these yoruba men and their problems with women...everyday problem and post. Learn how to set boundaries like Igbo men. No Igbo woman or any woman can look the phone of her Igbo husband if dey born 'am well. Fear no go allow her; she will be sent packing immediately and Umunna meeting called. Igbo men no dey tolerate nonsense which is why Igbo family structure is intact. If you allow women run your home or family, what you see in Yorubaland and Dahomey will be the result....family problems, infidelity, high divorce rate, polyandry(women with multiple men or husbands) and bastard children everywhere from multiple fathers with same woman...just chaos! No race or society can thrive with such disorder. I may not agree with Adeyinka Grandson but he delved on this issue big time and how its destroying Yorubas.

Racist Motherfuckrr

This is quite scary. Imagine if a husband is checking his wife's phone and smashing it up and down. Equally imagine if he makes his wife stay within his sights every time and ensure she is never out of his sight...Many people here would be saying Run Run Run...

She has some form of mental illness and is an accident waiting to happen. How OP is able to cope so far baffles me. However this kind of arrangement isnt sustainable as the OP has already realised which is why be is seeking help

Its time to start refusing all those demands. One by one until she realises everything has changed. Watch for her reaction and pray she doesn't harm you.

Most importantly is to refuse for your wife to check your phone every three days. Cheating or not. That level of distrust is unacceptable to anyone...man or woman. How you allow your wife do this shows the kind of weakling you are(no disrespect sir)

I endorsed this advice, all dos shouting that you should leave your wife dont even have a r/ship that works, its hard to find love these day, marriage is barely 2 yrs, una still dey know each, if you wan ask your ex for help next time, let her know or u delete call afterwards. As for the issue of light, i personally hate sleeping in darkness, i love to see reflection of light, so what you will do is to let her know you dont get enough sleep at night due to lite, even tho you snore, so my suggestion is get a rechargeable lamp for bedtime, so she can be putting it on at the corner of the room. Seek her opinion on lamp issh sha.

ibabz:
Oga, your wife is jealous because she loves you and don't want to lose you. I once regretted because I lost someone for being too jealous and over protective. She has her reason(s) for being over protective. The best way to handle such people is to open up to them before they find out themselves.

imiski:
Sit her down and discuss. She may have been a victim of infidelity. Or she is naturally very jealous(this one is incureable)

Those type does not understand anything that does not go with their notion and emotions at that time.

LOGOBELT:
You have really tried discovering her faults.

The next thing is to study her... Like what are the things that makes her angry? What are the things i do that piss her off? Most importantly, what does she want?

The matrimonial bedroom is not just a sleeping room... Wake her up at night, talk to her solemnly, once again i said solemnly...

As for your chat with your ex Biko, end it "its better to stay off Ex especially when you are married, to prevent Family Palava"

As for driving her to the market, antenatal and church, boss its your RESPONSIBILITY as the husband.

We men only show love to our partner before marriage, once she is in, you find it difficult to continue what you started.

Like I said, yoy have discovered her faults, next is to study her......

After that, next is to wake her up at night, say sweet and emotion capturing words to her, then when she fall for it.... Hit her with the words " Dear, i want to discuss something with you" while you caress her. Talk to her about it, and am sure she will listen.

Women aren't that DIFFICULT you just need to ADJUST a little, so that ONE TROUSER CAN FIT YOU TWO

Right on point.

healthserve:




From today. I hear the Lord telling me to warn you to stop telling people about how proudof your wife you are and how good she is.. You're advised to tone it down. Online, offline. I'm sure you understand what I mean

Ode. Fear Monger and Fake Pastor

However you need to let you wife know about the anger issh and how dangerous it is-, it's people like that that smack their maid so hard. Even if una go get heated argument on that anger issh ehn, its necessary, a wife and a mother isnt suppose to get angry to the extent of smashing things, if she smash anything apart from your phone, pls dont buy it again, make una dey look the thing and pls if you knw there is a chat you wife will hate seeing , just delete b4 getting home.

Ilekokonit:


Write her a letter spelling out how her controlling nature is driving you away from her and then run away for a week. She and your son will both be fine as God forbid something happens to you, she will continue living her life.

Don't wait until she smashes your head in your sleep based on her unfounded suspicions before you realize that she is a husband killer in waiting.

If a Naija woman can get so angry as to smash HER OWN PHONE, then your head is the next thing she may smash in her blind rage of anger and God help you if you are sleeping when she pounces on your head with a hammer because she suspects you rightly or wrongly of cheating on her.

imiski:
Sit her down and discuss. She may have been a victim of infidelity. Or she is naturally very jealous(this one is incureable)

I understand but by its the issue had f smashing phones I don't. She needs mental evaluation.

sassysure:

Yes o.
Everything u can think off.
He didn't go to antenatal during my first pregnancy. I didnt go at all but all the hospital visits he was there asking questions. Subsequent, he attended.

I only talked about the pregnancy and antenatal.
But, I can as well talk about her obsession.
Either that 1, she is afraid she will lose you as she never expected somebody like u will come her way,
2, she has insecurity problem. Refer to 1. People she trusted has been disappointing her.
3, she has low self esteem, still refer to 1.
And u are making her fear come true by contacting your ex.
As for the aggression, refer to her background.
In all its about, communication, assurance and promise.

Good luck.

Best advice! Very precise

nero2face:
she loves u so much mehn, I wish for such a loving jealous wife, she only want u for her self alone...endure it and try turning it into fun, laugh at her when she do those things and let her know u love her and won't chest on her...u can device a fun means of cajoling her whenever she act up

SECONDED...
better than an uncaring and cheating Wife...
Op God don bless you oo

sassysure:

So u think that men who don't attend antenatal with their wives are doing the right thing?
Men are meant to go to antenatal with their pregnant wives!

A man that fixed my dish one time said that he alone took care of his wife and 3 kids that crucial first few months. That post pregnancy birth etc he did it.
A full blooded Nigerian man!
It is your responsibility.
Not mother inlaw or house maids.
Guess where he learnt what to do, at antenatal class.

ladies and nonsense quote

Cheato64:
I got married in 2018, I love my wife so much and I know she loves me too but my wife is too dramatic.

She always claim she trusts me but mehn she doesn't let me out of her sight. I do everything and it's affecting me, we have a son and another is on the way, she has refused to learn how to drive on purpose, I take her everywhere, antenatal, market (hate this one the most), I drop and pick her from work, am forced to go church or other programs which I wouldn't like to go.

She goes through my phone every 3 days most especially at night. She noticed I snore I asked for a separate room, she will never let me, she Insists we sleep with light on.

Sometimes I pray for Nepa to take light. The day I called an ex that works in bank to assist me with transaction due to crowd, she went through my phone saw it, I had to explain out of anger she smashed my phone she does this very often she has smashed hers b4.

I feel like running away for a week but I can't leave my work or our son and she might go to my parents which I wouldn't want.

Pls I need help on how to tackle this wahala

Op This is the kind of wife I'm asking God for....

Cheato64:
bro are you married? Women are not easy as you think oooo, how is it my responsibilities, I go to antenatal I see most women if not all coming by themselves.

That's why she's special. You can't compare her to other women.

Who is the bread winner of your home?

APOPTOSIS:
U get luck Say u no marry witch, by now you for no get HAND to use TYPE.

It's always better the LADY loves you more than you LOVE her.

This is not love, this is extreme jealousy.

Love won't break her husband's phone.

Larryfest:
Are you the wife or husband because I don't get why you don't even have a common say in most issues in the house

op, this is the genesis of your problem. There are things one needs to take a stand on. You have allowed her to control you making you lose your self worth. You are the man. If she can't learn how to drive, then let her look for other means of transport. If she smashes your phone, then she must pay for it one way or the other. Sit her down and warn her seriously about going through your phone. If she fails after this, then take a decisive action.

You have a very good wife that shows concerns and jealous about you.
If she isnt concern about you,you would come on here and says your wife is showing nonchalant attitudes and doesn’t cares for you.
Let her be

Just give her rules of engagement in your marriage.

Main-while take away knife off the house.
Shalom bro.

catoluy:
All these yoruba men and their problems with women...everyday problem and post. Learn how to set boundaries like Igbo men. No Igbo woman or any woman can look the phone of her Igbo husband if dey born 'am well. Fear no go allow her; she will be sent packing immediately and Umunna meeting called. Igbo men no dey tolerate nonsense which is why Igbo family structure is intact. If you allow women run your home or family, what you see in Yorubaland and Dahomey will be the result....family problems, infidelity, high divorce rate, polyandry(women with multiple men or husbands) and bastard children everywhere from multiple fathers with same woman...just chaos! No race or society can thrive with such disorder. I may not agree with Adeyinka Grandson but he delved on this issue big time and how its destroying Yorubas.

U r such an idiot and a tribal bigot sir... Why must u relate it to tribe? The Op is even an Igbo man but ur dumb head is playing Yoruba Yoruba Yoruba..

Be matured sir, not by force to comment

catoluy:


No, you are yoruba. No Igbo woman can check her husband's phone. You see, the problem with you afonjas who claim Igbo is to learn Igbo ways. By your actions, I can tell if you are yoruba not Igbo.

Idiot man.... Foolish tribalist.. You are on a yoruba site n probably typing from Lagos Yoruba land.... Oponu

doitforyou:
This is bad and not sustainable. At some point you have to put your foot down. I suggest after she gives birth you guys have a very long talk. If you have cheated on her before, and she has forgiven you enough to marry you then part of giving you a second chance is to trust you until you prove her wrong again. You guys can’t be doing this, marriage is long.

This is why I can forgive a cheating partner but I can never get back with the person, because I can never trust that person again and it makes for a toxic and draining relationship.

How did you suddenly change this thing to your narrative and make it about you

humblemikel:
Just one question Bro
Why do you still have your EX number on phone??
There's every propensity you will cheat on your wife with your EX
85% Sure
So stop claiming Mr.Faithful Man
You are a potential cheat

So u don't have any of your ex phone number Abi... If it was a man that broke a lady phone, u people will start shouting abusive marriage upandan

olabrinks:
You missed the part where you cheated on her probably before marriage or after hence why she’s acting this way. No woman is going to behave like this out of nowhere.

How possible can a person cheat before marriage, before knowing someone? That can come up unless during courtship.

Cheato64:
how am I supposed to know she won't want to learn how to drive on purpose, and if I decide to firm and she jumps bike, accident or miscarriage might happen, I won't forgive myself

just see your line of thought. You are the architect of your problem. You don't even need help. Please continue carrying your cross.

You need to enforce consequences.
There are no consequences for her actions that is why she is misbehaving.

Show her the consequences. It doesn't mean you are not a good husband.

If she smash your phone, make sure she buys it. Don't compromise.
If she doesnt want to buy it, seize her phone.

If she wants to attend anywhere else apart from ante natal, and she wants you to drive, don't do it.
Let heaven fall.

When she sees the real consequences, she would change.
It is natural.

Grow some back bone or that woman would ride over you for life.

Man wake up! She's only using the pregnancy thing against you, if it gets outta hand the next thing she is gonna do is to accuse the innocent baby of making her behave the way she does. Pet a woman for 5 minutes and she will turn a kid forever. man up, and use formula 'A' of men's hardcore and you gonna see changes.

LOGOBELT:
You have really tried discovering her faults.

The next thing is to study her... Like what are the things that makes her angry? What are the things i do that piss her off? Most importantly, what does she want?

The matrimonial bedroom is not just a sleeping room... Wake her up at night, talk to her solemnly, once again i said solemnly...

As for your chat with your ex Biko, end it "its better to stay off Ex especially when you are married, to prevent Family Palava"

As for driving her to the market, antenatal and church, boss its your RESPONSIBILITY as the husband.

We men only show love to our partner before marriage, once she is in, you find it difficult to continue what you started.

Like I said, yoy have discovered her faults, next is to study her......

After that, next is to wake her up at night, say sweet and emotion capturing words to her, then when she fall for it.... Hit her with the words " Dear, i want to discuss something with you" while you caress her. Talk to her about it, and am sure she will listen.

Women aren't that DIFFICULT you just need to ADJUST a little, so that ONE TROUSER CAN FIT YOU TWO

Most meaningful, lovely and matured comment so far

Cheato64:
I have never cheated on her before and after wedding but I can see this is hard to believe but faithful men exist

Good to hear.

CC Ubunja

Why allowing woman remotting you, you have power over her