I need your advise, I have been banned till tmao for anti spam bot and I don't even know how it works sef...

Pls visit this link

For those of you dt have gave a comment, sorry for not replying.. Banned till tmao oooo... I can answer ur questions from here.

https://www.nairaland.com/5646708/unintentionally-mother-killing-us-pls

Lemme continue with the story here.

My True life story:
Pls you guys should read and advise me carefully

Characters:
My younger brother & I: my young bro learnt fashion design n God has been helping him really. I, on the other hand just finish my degree. I'm hustling.

My mother: I created this thread for her. She lives in a shop with 4 kids and sells petty petty goods like bread, egg n pure water. She always run into debt everytime, she can't afford to pay her shop rent, light bill. Always borrowing Lapo money n she keep running into debt.

4 kids: My mother grand kids, 4 in numbers living with my mom

My step brother from mom side: He own 2 out of 4 kids with mum. When he had cash, he didn't take care of our mom. He only took care of his wife, 2 kids as at den, and wife family. Now wife don run comot marry anoda man and my brother life is technically ruined. Also he drinks paraga, gin and so on alot. He has been deadly broke since 5 or 6 years ago.

2nd elder step brother: he has been missing till date since 2010. His wife married anoda man but the kid she had with my elder Bro stays with my mom. He wud av been our benefactor but missing till date maybe dead sef.

3rd elder step sister: she owns one of the four kids with mum. She just dey born born for different men.

My issue
My mom has been our life pillar and support then when she was okay financially. My dad didn't really take care of us Cox he has many children but thank God for mum, she made us better people. Mum first born was my elder Bro dt drink

too much. He never took care of mum but yet mum love him unconditionally like she loves us. We have always complained to mum abt his attitude to alcohol but he keep denying it anytime mum visit him to caution him. Mum will still say she will be praying for him. Technically he ruined my mum life Cox when he went broke, mum borrowed money to save him but all na failure. When he gave birth, it was mum dt took responsibility of the ceremony by borrowing. But the useless brother, when he has, he rather take care of his wife family and keep lying to my mum dt he is broke. We lived with him for like 2 years in a one room apartment (6 of us in a room). Trust it was hell then. Our dad moved to Sango but we don't wana go, so we rather stay with our step brother.

Nairaland family this is where I need your help;
My mum looks older than she is, she is catering for 4 kids wit her petty market. I have come to nairaland to ask for help when she called me in school crying for rent, some. Nairalanders helped me out, I am grateful to u all dt helped me.
My younger bro n I have tried convincing her to let go of 2 or 3 kids to orphanage or anytin, but she will start crying dt she cannot afford to see her grand kid suffering n become nuisance later. We don talk tire but she no gree.

My mother wants to ruin me & my younger brother lives oo, my younger Bro is just a surviving tailor n he gave mum 25k for last year owed rent (this was in December 2019 o). She Called him again when the woman dt supp

lies her bread said she wana collect her 6k owed since last year. My brother is fed up. Me nko, I av sent money and went hungry in school just to make sure mama is okay. I av money but can't eat coz of mama, I have savings but it goes down whenever mama get issue.
My useless elder step Bro life is in disorder, he was squatting in a church but was sent away recently Cox he drinks too much.

Nairalanders, families. What do me and my younger brother do? We are just surviving, we don't av anytin, yet mama keep running into debt. D gain she makes is use to feed 4kids and we don't no what to do.

Please advise me, I am not begging for money ooo. Pls no one shud insult me dt I wana beg coz I am not. Pls Pls Pls, I am not begging for money Pls oo

Can this thing ever grace front page instead of the antispam bot? Pls

sassysure. U seem to be one of those that understands me... It might kill my mother someday... 4 kids, she is even too old for her age. As in when I see my mother, I pity myself and cry i my hear whenever I visit her..


I don't no what else to do oo

Pls i am not begging for money ooo.. Advice ooo

RiyadhGoddess. My brother is 24 n still hustling and I'm 26.. Abt to serve. We don't av that power... We only give from little we have.. Someone like me dt can save money well, I end up giving her part of my saving most time when she called.. It's drags me down but I can't ignore mama... She is the pillar of our life... But she is too stubborn to let go of the kids. Too stubborn dt I am beginning to think of cutting off from her if her sturbornness Persist

As for the children being mama joy, far from it. They are actually a burden
That mama will live longer without them in her life. She has passed that virile age according to the @op which happens to be her child so he knew better.

One child is already a big headache not to talk of 4 without assistance.
They want to kill her?

Age and motherhood is what made her keep those children.
Irresponsible parents everywhere

Sassysure, u understand me too much.. As in too much. To me, they are burden not joy...

Big burden to my mother.. Imagine my mother 1st born after he reckless life went to live with my mom in her shop again... She will be feeding him too from petty market... What paining me is dt he will be stealing her money to go drink alcohol again

LilMissFavvy, we are capable but not 4kids... For God sake, we are struggling to live ooo. We are struggling to live

Mymynd4u:
RiyadhGoddess. My brother is 24 n still hustling and I'm 26.. Abt to serve. We don't av that power... We only give from little we have.. Someone like me dt can save money well, I end up giving her part of my saving most time when she called.. It's drags me down but I can't ignore mama... She is the pillar of our life... But she is too stubborn to let go of the kids. Too stubborn dt I am beginning to think of cutting off from her if her sturbornness Persist

What's the age of these children?
Is it their feeding that's the burden?
Is it school fees?
What exactly?
In short let's chat on my personal line

Mymynd4u:
lies her bread said she wana collect her 6k owed since last year. My brother is fed up. Me nko, I av sent money and went hungry in school just to make sure mama is okay. I av money but can't eat coz of mama, I have savings but it goes down whenever mama get issue.
My useless elder step Bro life is in disorder, he was squatting in a church but was sent away recently Cox he drinks too much.

Nairalanders, families. What do me and my younger brother do? We are just surviving, we don't av anytin, yet mama keep running into debt. D gain she makes is use to feed 4kids and we don't no what to do.

Please advise me, I am not begging for money ooo. Pls no one shud insult me dt I wana beg coz I am not. Pls Pls Pls, I am not begging for money Pls oo

Can this thing ever grace front page instead of the antispam bot? Pls

Chat me on my personal line okay.
I'm interested in your case...

Mymynd4u:
sassysure. U seem to be one of those that understands me... It might kill my mother someday... 4 kids, she is even too old for her age. As in when I see my mother, I pity myself and cry i my hear whenever I visit her..


I don't no what else to do oo

Pls i am not begging for money ooo.. Advice ooo

What of their mum as someone suggested?

If u live in Lagos, I think u can report to one particular organisation that handles this matter so they will make your brother sit up..
How old are they?

I do understand what your mum.is passing through.
Not easy on her and other kids especially if the money isn't there.
Child training is money.

Your mum has a very soft heart.

RiyadhGoddess:





What's the age of these children?
Is it their feeding that's the burden?
Is it school fees?
What exactly?
In short let's chat on my personal line 0

I just chat u. U can remove ur number

RiyadhGoddess:





What's the age of these children?
Is it their feeding that's the burden?
Is it school fees?
What exactly?
In short let's chat on my personal line 09050697535

I think 8 to 12 for the 4 kids...

We send money to mama but 4 kids is too much for her.. Hence debt upon debt and we are responsible for all these.. It's killing me, my younger brother raised the issue for 3 night when were discussing. We love our mother like our life but it's killing us.. If anyone of us die due to her problems, mama may die too..


We seem to be her only hope

sassysure:

What of their mum as someone suggested?

If u live in Lagos, I think u can report to one particular organisation that handles this matter so they will make your brother sit up..
How old are they?

I do understand what your mum.is passing through.
Not easy on her and other kids especially if the money isn't there.
Child training is money.

Your mum has a very soft heart.

I don't wana offend mom by reporting such case to any organization... She is too stubborn to leave any.. She said she doesn't want them to become lout or nuisance.... She said anytin we send she will manage but it's lie.. She is borrowing money upandan oooo.. Her creditors her calling us and it's embarrassing..



Soft heartened but killing us..... I'm so sad..

I don't no why life is like this for my mother.

1st born dt was irresponsible was part of the prob, the 2nd born dt went missing contributed too (mom spent so much to find her son back but notin )

This issue is critical, don't ever dream of your mum giving out her grand kids to the orphanage CU's she won't, she seems like a soft hearted mother, just pray and support her in the possible way you can but always reserve something for yourself. Maybe if you are in her shoes you would have understood better.

sassysure:

What of their mum as someone suggested?

If u live in Lagos, I think u can report to one particular organisation that handles this matter so they will make your brother sit up..
How old are they?

I do understand what your mum.is passing through.
Not easy on her and other kids especially if the money isn't there.
Child training is money.

Your mum has a very soft heart.

About their mum, my first elder brother wife don run go her place back to remarry as things don spoil for my brother.. I don't even pity my brother sef coz when he was okay, he only took care of his wife family and neglected his mum, our mom.
2 of her kids with mum


2nd elder brother, wife has remarried when there is no hope of seeing her husband again...
1 kid with mum


The last kid belong to my elder sister, she isn't really settled too


My elder brother, the 1st one is so useless dt he was pursued away from where he was squatted by a man of God Cos he drinks too much.. . Now He don move in with mama for shop... I fear he will ruin my mother

Freestainworld:
This issue is critical, don't ever dream of your mum giving out her grand kids to the orphanage CU's she won't, she seems like a soft hearted mother, just pray and support her in the possible way you can but always reserve something for yourself. Maybe if you are in her shoes you would have understood better.

I just want her to release them abeg... I'm tired, but she is too stubborn

Efewestern, Uyi168... Pls let's continue via this thread. Banned on family section.


Yes he became irresponsible... But when he was responsible, he spent on her and her family ignored us and our mum....

Pls advise me.. I pity my mum oo

UjuJoan2, Pls read from here and ask ur questions

Mymynd4u:


I don't wana offend mom by reporting such case to any organization... She is too stubborn to leave any.. She said she doesn't want them to become lout or nuisance.... She said anytin we send she will manage but it's lie.. She is borrowing money upandan oooo.. Her creditors her calling us and it's embarrassing..



Soft heartened but killing us..... I'm so sad..

I don't no why life is like this for my mother.

1st born dt was irresponsible was part of the prob, the 2nd born dt went missing contributed too (mom spent so much to find her son back but notin )

Back to square one.

Is it not better for u guys to buy the major foodstuffs needed in the house for her, go to possible places u know she can easily go and borrow and block it.

Or, go to a particular shop, liaise with the owner so mama can go there and buy what's needed and u guys will settle the shop owner.
The problem is a collective one I must say.
It has happened and solution must be found.

Another way is this, if u or the other bros is living alone, u can take one to live with you, also your bros.

What is your sis doing for a living?

She too can help, not born and dump the child on her mum.

Pls make sure u don't turn out like them.

Remain focused so u can be different

sassysure:


Back to square one.

Is it not better for u guys to buy the major foodstuffs needed in the house for her, go to possible places u know she can easily go and borrow and block it.

Or, go to a particular shop, liaise with the owner so mama can go there and buy what's needed and u guys will settle the shop owner.
The problem is a collective one I must say.
It has happened and solution must be found.

Another way is this, if u or the other bros is living alone, u can take one to live with you, also your bros.

What is your sis doing for a living?

She too can help, not born and dump the child on her mum.

Pls make sure u don't turn out like them.

Remain focused so u can be different

I also thought of taking one of the kids... But taking our elder brother to live with us is a no no.. We live in a one room apartment and we can't be 4... We can't be feeding our elder brother coz we sef no get reach dt... Moreover I am going to serve in March..

My sis has one with mum, but the dad of that one has asked for her daughter but my mother refused ooo.. It even cause fight, my sis told my mum dt she shud release Ayo to her dad but mum said no oooo... She can't... She has tried her best to talk to mum but she refused

sassysure:


Back to square one.

Is it not better for u guys to buy the major foodstuffs needed in the house for her, go to possible places u know she can easily go and borrow and block it.

Or, go to a particular shop, liaise with the owner so mama can go there and buy what's needed and u guys will settle the shop owner.
The problem is a collective one I must say.
It has happened and solution must be found.

Another way is this, if u or the other bros is living alone, u can take one to live with you, also your bros.

What is your sis doing for a living?

She too can help, not born and dump the child on her mum.

Pls make sure u don't turn out like them.

Remain focused so u can be different

See God bless you.. We were even thinking of contributing money to buy her foodstuff oo until her creditor called us dt she want to collect her debt oooo..

Now, the money we are suppose to buy her foodstuff will be used to pay debt

missimelda01, I agree with u.. Both are foolish

Pls read full story here.. Banned on family section by antispam bot

How can you say your mother is too stubborn? The kind thing wey dey comot from this new generation kids mouth sef dey fear me, if it were in the days of our forefathers, they for don tie u up and throw u inside evil forest. 2ndly you're mad for suggesting she takes two or three of the kids to the orphanage home, something is worrying your head.

Mymynd4u:



I just want her to release them abeg... I'm tired, but she is too stubborn

we are saying the same thing, but will she? She won't

Standardkid240:
How can you say your mother is too stubborn? The kind thing wey dey comot from this new generation kids mouth sef dey fear me, if it were in the days of our forefathers, they for don tie u up and throw u inside evil forest. 2ndly you're mad for suggesting she takes two or three of the kids to the orphanage home, something is worrying your head.

Yes my mother is sturborn.... I know what am saying.. And I am not talking abt orphanage....

One of the kids father wants to take his daughter with him but mom disagreed... So tell me why does she have to disagree?
Another kid mum wants to take her daughter but she still disagree, so tell me

Is she not stubborn?

Standardkid240:
How can you say your mother is too stubborn? The kind thing wey dey comot from this new generation kids mouth sef dey fear me, if it were in the days of our forefathers, they for don tie u up and throw u inside evil forest. 2ndly you're mad for suggesting she takes two or three of the kids to the orphanage home, something is worrying your head.

Provide solutions or just be mute.

Standardkid240:
How can you say your mother is too stubborn? The kind thing wey dey comot from this new generation kids mouth sef dey fear me, if it were in the days of our forefathers, they for don tie u up and throw u inside evil forest. 2ndly you're mad for suggesting she takes two or three of the kids to the orphanage home, something is worrying your head.

The father of one of them wants her. What is disrespectful abt it.

The only way church will dismiss is to take ur mum to live with you guys.
EVERYBODY WILL COME AND TAKE THEIR CHILD BUT SHE IS A GRANDMA AND A SOFT ONE AT THAT.

The issue here is money. The op and his younger brother from his narration have sense but they lack the money to truly help out the mom either by stocking her shop or taking care of the nieces/nephews. Sorry Op, if you are genuine, I only pray that a helper locates you guys this 2020 because most people here that have the heart to help are still like you, they lack the money.

Let's donate to the op to pay his mom's debt and stock her shop... this is more than any advice.

Nairalanders let's donate N500 each person is not bad

Sometimes, parents are the problems of their children.