whatdowomenwant:


This is deep and fearful.

A whole lot is on the line if I go full separation:

1. The kids welfare (the most important)
2. The business I started for her (actually a school)
3. Her image and by extension mine (She's very respected among my family and friends)
4. The second most important (Sorry, I won't name this)

Yes, I agree. My peace of mind needs repair. And yes, I don't know if I will still trust her fully.

But your statement that...



This statement is fearful.

whatdowomenwant:
Update:

The DNA results are out. Thankfully the kids are mine.

But still does not justify the multiple cheating.

Next step: Call a small family meeting and State my demands

tunjilana:


Don't deceive yourself,

1. You will never get total repentance
2. Your peace of mind will be gone, cos you will always be overthinking all her moves - Trust is gone
3. She sees you as a weakling already and will never respect you enough to be faithful
4. One of her concubines may want her for keeps one day and you become a marked man. She maybe involved in the plot and she maynot
5. She may one day jam someone way richer than u during her waka waka and she will still leave u, your fears will now materialize

My suggestion

1. Put her away
2. Go legal, document how you will manage the affairs of your kids after divorce/separation
3. Still be financially committed to your kids
4. Ensure they will spend time with you/your family at the least
5. Take your time and resources to find a loyal and better younger woman

Once women cross certain lines, they never return

Asquare84:


If you have the means try and conduct another DNA test again I am having the feeling that this result is falsified

whatdowomenwant:


I initially thought that way but Synlab is a very popular and well recognized laboratory. They carry out laboratory services for Governments, airlines and top corporations. They understand the implication of this.

kokanepyramid:
you opened thread since 25th of last month, it’s almost a month you are still on nairaland replying to posts.

You are just seeking attention.
I do not believe your story.

Asquare84:


If you have the means try and conduct another DNA test again I am having the feeling that this result is falsified

ahiboilandgas:
next step u will surely get killed by her or her fuckers ...then u will rest ...once 1 of the fuckers find there is money and sweet toto and u are the stumbling block sure na to eliminate you....go watch idx on dstv to under better

Peterosky:
Hhhhmmmm! Op,you will be making a very big mistake if you don't continue to tolerate such a good, kind and generous woman. All you need to do now is simply rent a very expensive and befitting apartment for her to enable her continue in her sexual generosity. You are indeed lucky.Woooow! Foolishness is indeed a rare virtue.
Dear God,please never make my enemy to be as foolish as the Op. So help me God. Amen.

biosystech:
Didn't anyone read where she invited a supposed cousin and the OP allowing him stay with them?

She said that she has to fulfill the will of God in your life? Wow!

Skmoda360:

Why are you people still replying this man ?........he is a weakling to the core.

Roycemadeit:

Our perspective on weak and strong are not definite. I don't think he is a weakling, I suppose you'd say the strong are the ones that would pick up a knife and slice their wife open...

Skmoda360:

Not about slicing throat...it's about walking away when it's extremely toxic....this marriage is dead and gone, no remedy.

gbeseun:


Brother, i feel ur pains sir and i can tell u as a married man it takes wisdom of God to forgive thepast and move on.
Can you please erase all her past and start afreash with her?
With what i copied above,i know you RWALLY LOVE THIS WOMAN and let me tell you,to err is human bro and ro forgive is divine.
Can you be a man and forgive and forget and move on.thank God the children are yours and that your hope of better tomorow. What od id the 3 children arent yours?
And this woman still love you only that she is suffering from habit of the past,like excessive sex in the past which to me her body counts is high and her hormones are with very high libido.i know its not easy bro,but i tell you ,it is the best in the end.
Lets move on and continue praying for her as well.
Secondly keep ur eyes away from her phone.
Try it and sont remind urself of all past again.
I wish you well bro

Kabongo1:
My concern is the height of deceit. She brought a man into her marital home, claiming he is her cousin. She then says they only kissed and nothing else. Why would she take such a risk just to kiss, when she knows the consequences of her actions, if caught, would be dire. This woman can kill.

Life is the ultimate, peace of mind is paramount, can you continue monitoring her for the rest of your life? I doubt it.
Is she capable of stopping her wayward lifestyle? I also doubt this as well.

Roycemadeit:


She is just a s.winger

Skmoda360:

She will still mess the life of man up....or better still kill him cuz he has known too much

whatdowomenwant:


Thank you for your kind words.

There are only three people who have advised me the way you just did.

1. YOU.
2. The lab woman who presented the DNA result to me
3. A Very senior counsellor who is helping to counsel and lead her to acknowledgement, repentance and moving on.

Every other person seems to think that I am a weakling. Even her elder sister says she will respect my choice.

I am believing God to lead me on the right path.

Sorry about my typos
I didnt read again before posting but am sure you get the message which is much important.
Many on nairaland arent married and they dont know what it is to loose someone in sitiations like this.
God will take control

whatdowomenwant:


Thanks for this input. Now I see I am not alone.

My wonder is:

Has she been a bad girl that just pretends to be good? Or

Is she a good and bad girl at the same time? Or

Was she just naive and didn't know the danger of adultery?

So far, she has given names of 5 different men she slept with, some once, some twice, some thrice, and some just a fling.

Today she still believes I am overdragging these whole thing. That it was past. That she stopped in 2016 and has moved on. She's telling me not to allow anger to destroy things.

I'm just thinking what kind of human being is this?

whatdowomenwant:
Update:

The DNA results are out. Thankfully the kids are mine.

But still does not justify the multiple cheating.

Next step: Call a small family meeting and State my demands