crackkhaus:


Next time, lead with this:



Not saying it is the cause of your single status, but it provides context for those looking to advise you.

Chief Inspector Investigator crackkhaus

Scared for what? those in marriages, how many can boast of constant happiness? man never frustrate your life before to be honest, being single is more fun and you have peace unless you allow yourself entertain this kind of fear. Get busy, focus on your kid, train her, love her, provide for her needs and she will reciprocate when you get old. There's nothing to be scared of.

Lionqueen:
My 30th birthday is in few weeks time. Am scared because I don't have a boyfriend. It's beginning to give me sleepness night. But is marriage the ultimate? Please no body should insult me����

You are a single mom and 30.

You are worried that you would end up single (a very valid concern because you desire companionship).

I guess it is futile to ask about your baby daddy.

To get a responsible man for companionship:

Have you forgiven yourself? Have you forgiven your baby daddy so you are not carrying the bitterness around you.

Do you see all men as evil or your ex is every man? Does all discussions revolve around your ex? Do every man have to prove himself that he is not your ex? Do you radiate availability without desperacy or your aura make men scared to approach you?

Do every man have to compete with your daughter? Do you manage to bring every discussion back to your daughter?

Are you an interesting person? Can someone converse with you? Are you open to learning and other ideas? Do you because you are a mother treat everyone like your child?

Do/Did you take care of yourself? Are you carrying yourself like a 50yr old mother or a 30yr old lady with a child? Do you take note of your appearance?

Answer these questions truthfully and make adjustments were needed.

Goodluck.

Lionqueen:
Thank you all for your advice. I really appreciate. And for those that think otherwise... Go through my previous posts�. I am a single mom and I have never hid and never will I deny the fact. God bless us all and Happy birthday in advance to me���

What exactly do you want?

Lionqueen:
My 30th birthday is in few weeks time. Am scared because I don't have a boyfriend. It's beginning to give me sleepness night. But is marriage the ultimate? Please no body should insult me����

Don't be scared!!
Just wait for your time!!!
Happiness is the most important thing in Life!!!

Enjoy your single status now!!!

toplinetrtrend:


This isn't just about what the society expects; it's the way humans are built. We are built for companionship; we aren't meant to live lone lives. Check many of those who are single when they are supposed to be married; they aren't really happy. They may lie on social media that they are happy, but that's just a pretense?

No human is complete alone; you need someone to make you complete.

Someone that may stab you in your sleep abi??

Right partner is the key!!!

OP must not be desperate!!!

CsRockefeller:
You people saying she should be happy, live her life to the fullest bla bla bla.

What if having a man in her life would just be that one thing to trigger her joy?

I once stayed with an uncle who was so bitter and angry, always quarrelling with me on little issues. The day his GF now wife came to visit him for the first time, he was so happy, I couldn't believe it, my uncle was so happy for a long time you would have thought he hit the lottery.

They are still married for about 6 years and I can still see that happiness in him.

You think at 30 it's easy to stay alone? Be alone, especially emotionally?

My dear, I only hope you find a man who truly deserves you. God cannot be wrong, if he says it's not good for a "man" to be alone then it's not good.

OP must not he desperate!!!

Evil partner plenty for Naija... Deceitful to the core

johnkey:
Please speak for yourself sir, the only thing that can make me incomplete is lack of money. In Nigeria With money you can never I repeat never be lonely except you choose to. Visit codedruns.com for more info lol

Stop promoting Hookers on Family section of Nairaland

makydebbie:

Nice dp.... If you are the one on your right please check your DM

toplinetrtrend:



Lolz. No matter how rich you become, you will need other humans to complete you. Humans are created for companionship. Money isn't everything. You will not know this until you study the secret lives of the rich.

Solitude is different from Loneliness!!!

ImaIma1:


Lol...a relative of mine got married in December. She was over 40. The guy was older and he had never been married before.

Forget what you see on NL. Everything is not black and white. Forget all those virgin, evening newspaper nonsense. It's kids that think that way. Even a 50 year old woman can get married to a never-been-married man.

OP is a single mum tho!! she's got a kid!!!

Marriage is an icing on the cake for her

bukatyne:


You are a single mom and 30.

You are worried that you would end up single (a very valid concern because you desire companionship).

I guess it is futile to ask about your baby daddy.

To get a responsible man for companionship:

Have you forgiven yourself? Have you forgiven your baby daddy so you are not carrying the bitterness around you.

Do you see all men as evil or your ex is every man? Does all discussions revolve around your ex? Do every man have to prove himself that he is not your ex? Do you radiate availability without desperacy or your aura make men scared to approach you?

Do every man have to compete with your daughter? Do you manage to bring every discussion back to your daughter?

Are you an interesting person? Can someone converse with you? Are you open to learning and other ideas? Do you because you are a mother treat everyone like your child?

Do/Did you take care of yourself? Are you carrying yourself like a 50yr old mother or a 30yr old lady with a child? Do you take note of your appearance?

Answer these questions truthfully and make adjustments were needed.

Goodluck.

I love Bukatyne's questioneer

Lionqueen:
My 30th birthday is in few weeks time. Am scared because I don't have a boyfriend. It's beginning to give me sleepness night. But is marriage the ultimate? Please no body should insult me����

I'm just trying to imagine the traffic in ur pm's right now tho.. dem no dey see late comer for marriage.. better enjoy ur self till HE comes

eni4real:
I love Bukatyne's questioneer

Ogbeni Eniola ore mi,

Se aje pe?

Marriage is not compulsory, especially since finding a good man can be stressful. Children are the main joy a woman should look out for. At 30 you are still young, socialize more and be patient, you will meet the right man. As for very mature ladies out there, I'd advice that if your biological clock is ticking and you are in a relationship, yet you aren't convinced that your partner is the right one, if he is willing to marry you, go ahead, marry and have your kids, if he stresses you in the marriage, of cuz you'd know what to do.

bukatyne:


Ogbeni Eniola ore mi,

Se aje pe?

ImaIma1:


Chief Inspector Investigator crackkhaus

Yelz?

bukatyne:


You are a single mom and 30.

You are worried that you would end up single (a very valid concern because you desire companionship).

I guess it is futile to ask about your baby daddy.

To get a responsible man for companionship:

Have you forgiven yourself? Have you forgiven your baby daddy so you are not carrying the bitterness around you.

Do you see all men as evil or your ex is every man? Does all discussions revolve around your ex? Do every man have to prove himself that he is not your ex? Do you radiate availability without desperacy or your aura make men scared to approach you?

Do every man have to compete with your daughter? Do you manage to bring every discussion back to your daughter?

Are you an interesting person? Can someone converse with you? Are you open to learning and other ideas? Do you because you are a mother treat everyone like your child?

Do/Did you take care of yourself? Are you carrying yourself like a 50yr old mother or a 30yr old lady with a child? Do you take note of your appearance?

Answer these questions truthfully and make adjustments were needed.

Goodluck.

Lol, and some people like that don't understand why I like you
That person knows herself

Extraordinarily introspective questions.

Lionqueen:
My 30th birthday is in few weeks time. Am scared because I don't have a boyfriend. It's beginning to give me sleepness night. But is marriage the ultimate? Please no body should insult me����

Check your mail.

olabrinks:
I agree.

When I met my husband I became a lot happier it opened doors for me, and now I see life a lot differently. Not to talk of the joy that parenthood brings. My happiness doesn’t rely solely on him, but partnership with him sure does make life easier despite our ups and downs. Everybody deserves to find someone, loneliness kills fast.

God bless you Ma'am.

crackkhaus:

Lol, and some people like that don't understand why I like you
That person knows herself

Extraordinarily introspective questions.

Very funny.

Thank you.

CsRockefeller:
You people saying she should be happy, live her life to the fullest bla bla bla.

What if having a man in her life would just be that one thing to trigger her joy?

I once stayed with an uncle who was so bitter and angry, always quarrelling with me on little issues. The day his GF now wife came to visit him for the first time, he was so happy, I couldn't believe it, my uncle was so happy for a long time you would have thought he hit the lottery.

They are still married for about 6 years and I can still see that happiness in him.

You think at 30 it's easy to stay alone? Be alone, especially emotionally?

My dear, I only hope you find a man who truly deserves you. God cannot be wrong, if he says it's not good for a "man" to be alone then it's not good.

It's not easy to be alone, but there are people who are not afraid to stay alone, and are better off alone. It's just a generalization, and I'm not referring to the OP.

olabrinks:
I agree.

When I met my husband I became a lot happier it opened doors for me, and now I see life a lot differently. Not to talk of the joy that parenthood brings. My happiness doesn’t rely solely on him, but partnership with him sure does make life easier despite our ups and downs. Everybody deserves to find someone, loneliness kills fast.

There are people with your kind of mentality; who only need a life partner to feel happier. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but not everyone was wired that way.

Loneliness is relative. There are married people who still feel lonely, while there are single people who don't feel lonely despite their marital status. In my opinion, if you need someone to make you feel complete, then you may have a problem.

toplinetrtrend:


This isn't just about what the society expects; it's the way humans are built. We are built for companionship; we aren't meant to live lone lives. Check many of those who are single when they are supposed to be married; they aren't really happy. They may lie on social media that they are happy, but that's just a pretense?

No human is complete alone; you need someone to make you complete.

Happiness is a choice. There are more unhappy married people than singles.

We4all:


Happiness is a choice. There are more unhappy married people than singles.

That's because they didn't find the right partner

DaddySoftapple:
Hmmm seriously, I've never seen an unmarried single lady in my family, even my younger sister will get married this year or next year and I'm still enjoying my singlehood. Lol

I wonder how a lady stay between 23 to 30 without finding a man to marry.

This is not about being desperate, it's about being positive in life with great character.

One thing i know is that guys appreciates a great lady with great character.

Our eyes are not blind, we know those Ladies that are good for sex only and those we pray to get married to.

The category you belong as a lady depends on how you have lived your life so far, it's nobody's fault.

Because like it or not, some guys you see as bad guys are only bad because they have not seen that lady that will make them start thinking of marriage.

I have a friend that loves womanizing, but he saw a lady and got married in less than three months.

He told me when he met her, he quickly start thinking of marriage because she was a Gem and would not want to lose her, and indeed she changed his life for good and today they are Happy with a baby boy.

It all depends on you as a woman.

I for example, there was a female In school years ago i would have gotten married to if i wasn't in school then and was financially buoyant, though i was young but for a young guy to start thinking of marriage back then shows there was something amazing about her.

And now she is married with two kids living in the UK and she is just 28.
So you see i was Right after all, another sharp shooter came and took her away from me. Lol

Chai this life nor fair at all.

So dear op, you need to think your life through, what you did wrong in the last five years and draw close to GOD.
Based on the order of the Peaky blinders.

Hmmm seriously, I've never seen an unmarried single lady in my family, even my younger sister will get married this year or next year and I'm still enjoying my singlehood. Lol

This is because the girls in your family were groomed to see marriage as an achievement. I'm certain that if you take time out to find out what is really happening in their lives, you will realise that most of them are unhappy.


I wonder how a lady stay between 23 to 30 without finding a man to marry.


The same way some people with good grades stay unemployed for years.

Our eyes are not blind, we know those Ladies that are good for sex only and those we pray to get married to.

So how come the good women are having problems with their spouses?

The category you belong as a lady depends on how you have lived your life so far, it's nobody's fault.

All the promiscuous ladies in my department at the University are married with kids. The only decent lady in my class, is still unmarried.


He told me when he met her, he quickly start thinking of marriage because she was a Gem and would not want to lose her, and indeed she changed his life for good and today they are Happy with a baby boy.


You have no idea how much ladies pretend just to hook a man. My friend, most married ladies played out a script, and their husbands fell foolishly for it. Give him a few more years, and the story will change.

What I'm trying to say in essence is that, character has nothing to do with late marriage. So please stop making the OP feel like she created a big problem for herself.

We4all:


There are people with your kind of mentality; who only need a life partner to feel happier. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but not everyone was wired that way.

Loneliness is relative. There are married people who still feel lonely, while there are single people who don't feel lonely despite their marital status. In my opinion, if you need someone to make you feel complete, then you may have a problem.

the reality is that we all need human beings to feel complete. Whether it’s your friends, your cousins, your mum. We are not wired to be on our own 24/7 and be completely isolated from the world. A lot of people come online to fill in that social isolation in their lives because of this. So yes I need people to feel complete, including my husband. I refuse to accept isolation as the norm like this generation wants to push forward. I will proudly accept that, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you have the right people around you, it’s unlikely you’ll feel lonely. Unless you’re dealing with personal issues that you need to deal with.

ImaIma1:


Lol...a relative of mine got married in December. She was over 40. The guy was older and he had never been married before.

Forget what you see on NL. Everything is not black and white. Forget all those virgin, evening newspaper nonsense. It's kids that think that way. Even a 50 year old woman can get married to a never-been-married man.

Any Nigerian man in Nigeria that actually marries a 50 year old woman is either poor or an opportunist.
30 men don dey shout before na 50.
Do you know how women degrade with age?
I've dated women in their 30s,though most of them are kind and loving but that lustre or wow factor is almost non existent.
Age does not favour women,they literally rot with age and only poor men tolerate that rubbish
Spits!

nwanneni:
Any Nigerian man in Nigeria that actually marries a 50 year old woman is either poor or an opportunist.
30 men don dey shout before na 50.
Do you know how women degrade with age?
I've dated women in their 30s,though most of them are kind and loving but that lustre or wow factor is almost non existent.
Age does not favour women,they literally rot with age and only poor men tolerate that rubbish
Spits!

See it doesn't matter if you don't believe it or if your mind cannot conceive it. That is your personal problem to deal with.

Your preference is yours. It doesn't mirror every man's preference.

You need to go out, get exposure, see things that are happening, read book, news, people's experiences, etc. You cannot sit down in your "yard" and think everything is black and white.

You talk about women rotting. How do they rot? Check yourself. It's most likely your rot robbing off on them.

You seem to think it's only women who age. Men grow old and a lot of them become dumber with age and begin to say things that don't make sense.

ImaIma1:




See it doesn't matter if you don't believe it or if your mind cannot conceive it. That is your personal problem to deal with.

Your preference is yours. It doesn't mirror every man's preference.

You need to go out, get exposure, see things that are happening, read book, news, people's experiences, etc. You cannot sit down in your "yard" and think everything is black and white.

You talk about women rotting. How do they rot? Check yourself. It's most likely your rot robbing off on them.

You seem to think it's only women who age. Men grow old and a lot of them become dumber with age and begin to say things that don't make sense.

It is not belief but fact!
A woman has to be really pretty for her to still have lustre in her 30s.
You talk about exposure?So because I and other sane men see older women for what they really are means we aren't exposed?Do you know how unpleasant looking most women in their 30s are if their clothes are taken off and also without their dulux paint(make up)?
Marriage is for complete happiness.Yes I agree older women are better to interact with and most are more sensible than their younger counterparts,but looks are also important.
If you enjoyed the woman when she was in her 20s,that's different,not marrying her when the rot-phase has initiated.
That is something only poor men or opportunists should do,not a burden hardworking men with some achieved goals should bear.
Imagine waking up to a rot-phase woman every morning by your side till you die,something you never enjoyed for a day all in the name of exposure.
That's pure cheating and foolishness.
By the way,just what my "yard" looks like this cool morning....
I'm sure you,an exposed woman is somewhere right now in bubbling lagos traffic struggling to be on time in your 200k/month job.Don't even reply me,save that energy for manoeuvring with your Kia Rio/picanto in the traffic ahead of you
So much for an exposed woman.
The way some of you,rot-phase women make assumptions baffle me.

nwanneni:
It is not belief but fact!
A woman has to be really pretty for her to still have lustre in her 30s.
You talk about exposure?So because I and other sane men see older women for what they really are means we aren't exposed?Do you know how unpleasant looking most women in their 30s are if their clothes are taken off and also without their dulux paint(make up)?
Marriage is for complete happiness.Yes I agree older women are better to interact with and most are more sensible than their younger counterparts,but looks are also important.
If you enjoyed the woman when she was in her 20s,that's different,not marrying her when the rot-phase has initiated.
That is something only poor men or opportunists should do,not a burden hardworking men with some achieved goals should bear.
Imagine waking up to a rot-phase woman every morning by your side till you die,something you never enjoyed for a day all in the name of exposure.
That's pure cheating and foolishness.
By the way,just what my "yard" looks like this cool morning....
I'm sure you,an exposed woman is somewhere right now in bubbling lagos traffic struggling to be on time in your 200k/month job.Don't even reply me,save that energy for manoeuvring with your Kia Rio/picanto in the traffic ahead of you
So much for an exposed woman.
The way some of you,rot-phase women make assumptions baffle me.

All you have spilled is based on your exposure and mentality. You cannot do more than your brain.

ImaIma1:


All you have spilled is based on your exposure and mentality. You cannot do more than your brain.

Lol,same way you can't represent what you aren't.
I know you are speaking good for women in their rot phase,a category you clearly belong in.
No worries,it is what it is.
You and the rest of the women in their 30s lack lustre,period.