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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Couples and Live-in Relatives (9248 Views)
My Parents And Other Relatives Are Making Me Go Crazy / Anambra Widow Sleeps Outside After She Was Thrown Out Of Her Home By Relatives / How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:00pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
nahzyla:.. If my daughter misbeves in her husband's house,then let her bear the consequences of her actions. 2 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:01pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
nahzyla:.Ok. Carry cup. You win |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 3:03pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
But these same women don't have any problems with housing relatives as extended-stay househelps. 2 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by 24kmagic: 3:05pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
TheArchangel: Potent cage system? Hahahaha. I can see hatred/fear for north all over your comment. I know you've always dreamed of coming here, possibly marrying from this place. I will ensure you have the best time of your life when you come lol. And hey, I have someone perfect enough for you, you interested, just whistle. PS: I just went through your profile and discovered you're living in Abuja. Is Abuja not middle belt? Meanwhile, where do you stay in Abuja sef? |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:07pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus:..You dey mind them? What they can't take is what they don't see any problem in giving. 1 Like |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Belafonte(m): 3:10pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus: The only thing that pained me about Mindfulness is that we never got to see a picture of her. Who knows why she deactivated. Her husband could have caught her receiving untoward DMs from hörny nairalanders. This forum has a wild underbelly |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 3:15pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Belafonte:Lol, you are definitely an oldie. This is not your first handle here |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Fountainofyouth(f): 3:15pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
With the comments I read here, it is safe to say that marriages these days are definitely not the joining of two people to become one, it is a breeding arrangement and a long lasting safe sex, that is for those that won't cheat on their partner. 2 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 3:20pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
JONNYSPUTE:Let husband just mention to any of these women here, darling I can see you're working too hard and you need help, I'm going to invite my younger sister/cousin to come live with us so she can assist you with the chores, kids, and market runs. They will rush to go clean the room and even change bedsheet in anticipation of their in-law's arrival. They will have no problems with this one staying for as long as she likes. Two shall become one with no extended family around, does not apply again. 4 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by JONNYSPUTE(m): 3:35pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus:. Yes nah since nah slave dem warn turn am to. But will there be peace after sometimes? If he or she does something and you don't act wickedly towards his or her actions,na another talk go come out like,is because he/ she is your relative that's why you acting soft. When my wife requested for a house help from me,I told her it's either she brings the person by herself or go employ a person I will be paying for her services at the end of the month. I can't come kill myself for marriage matter na wisdom I dey use follow dem. 3 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 3:36pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Lol, I just came across this topic: https://www.nairaland.com/5673883/fiancee-stopped-picking-calls-please See Vyolet and PrimadonnaO type there.... does not want to pay for her own wedding dress but tomorrow, she sef will be forming independent minded contrarian alcoholic woman who does not want any husband's relative in her house. 4 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 3:37pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
JONNYSPUTE:You know dem finish, bro 1 Like |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by bukatyne(f): 3:45pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Belafonte: @Bold: And relatives do not change or harm one another? Or people who lie and cheat as spouses suddenly translate to saints as relatives? We don't have cases of siblings scheming to kill themselves or siphoning individual properties? What of parents harming their kids and vice versa? BTW: I am not saying all relationships are evil. |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Belafonte(m): 4:00pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Oh, definitely. I’m sure you know me well |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Belafonte(m): 4:03pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
bukatyne: What is the proportion of bad spouses to bad siblings? Anybody can f*ck you up at anytime, but a spouse is statistically more likely to f*ck you up than a sibling. And as a betting man, I go with the stats. Even if I fail, I accept that it was inevitable having satisfied the statistical requirements 3 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Belafonte(m): 4:04pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus: Have you seen my exchange with Ishilove on that thread? |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Preshy561(f): 4:19pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
I don't have any problem with anyone, so long you don't give me headache, burden or over stay your welcome. Btw, I'm a private person and won't be needing much crowd in my home. |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by bukatyne(f): 4:49pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
JONNYSPUTE:. You are talking from experience No serious woman brings an in-law as a help |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Vyolet(f): 4:55pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus:Go back to my comment and read my opinion on couples and relatives and stop writing nonsense here. I honestly don't get why the independent minded thing got to you this bad. Is there something you are not saying? Oh, like I mentioned earlier, you ain't ready. 1 Like |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by PrimadonnaO(f): 6:02pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus: LOOL! Okay now, you want to start calling me out every goddamn time? Let me just be frank. My orientation about these things are quite different. I'm no longer sure what feminism is, so I don't identify as one. I champion equal social and economic rights (if Peter and I are on the same level at work, pay us the same amount of money, don't tell me to keep quiet in a gathering because it's men who are talking, or to relegate my prefered seat ina vehicle because the contender is a man) for both male and female, but even then I don't believe men and women are the same in all ways, and suited for everything...plus I don't believe that kind of ideology should be the norm in a HOME, it distorts the Christian teachings I live by. What I want from my husband is respect me, love me, be understanding, caring and considerate. I will not marry a man like OP Sylvester. Lol. Why the hell are you dropping a 50% bill on my laps? Just go and marry yourself already. To begin with, I'm not even a wedding person at all. I don't attend... neither do I look forward to having one. Y'all erroneously think it's all ladies who are crazy about weddings. The men are, too! They want their bragging rights. So at the very point we're getting married, if it comes to a wedding, you already know I'm having a wedding just to make you happy... and for both our sakes, we must work within a specific budget, not some extravagant nonsense. But don't drop bills on my laps. There's nothing sweet about that. I'll contribute where I deem necessary, but don't impose it on me. What I earn is to support the home and assist him, ... to step in as an interim primary provider should there be tough times, not to be splitting bills 50/50 every step of the way 1 Like |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Efewestern: 6:36pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
nahzyla: Stop the hypocrisy already, would you? The man said his wife wasn't comfortable with his brother staying around, this he noticed through her actions and inactions and being a wise man, he had to send his brother packing by processing his visa, in retaliation he banned his wife's relatives from coming since she doesn't want anyone around. You now remember there is something called communication and mutual respect, why didn't his wife remembered this when he made his house uncomfortable for his brother while her own family had a field day in their home. JONNYSPUTE You are a man and I love your policies. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by ImaIma1(f): 7:04pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus: You are right. And it's because it's not the man that cares for these relatives when they come. Neither is he the one who is put under criticism or high expectations. Imagine me going to the market with stitches after delivery even if I had my mum inlaw and 2 sisters inlaw around for omugwo. Do you think I would want her to come next time I put to bed? No way! If it were my own younger siblings, I would have been able to scold them properly or tell them to leave my house since they were not useful to me. The relatives themselves are not innocent. 2 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 8:11pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Belafonte:Your question promoted me to go look for it, but yea, I have seen it. |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 8:15pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Vyolet:Yes it did. Anytime financially dependent women like yourself who believe men should take care of them still have the guts to call themselves independent, it burns my sensibilities...it so burns It's an insult to truly independent women who walk their talk. |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 8:17pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
PrimadonnaO:This was actually a really good read, at least you're honest and not calling yourself independent...unlike some people up there. |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 8:22pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
ImaIma1:I think you've shared this experience before, and I admit they were very insensitive to put you through that. But this kind of situation is quite extremely rare. Care to share what led to that behaviour from them? |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Vyolet(f): 9:08pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus:I just observed you hardly understand things, it's not my fault. I'm responsible for what i type while you are responsible for how you perceive me, i got nothing to prove to you. If you try to read me by my posts which is where you deduced I'm dependent you will remain on a long thing. However, you shouldn't be bothered if i am dependent on a man financially or independent, its actually not your business. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by rain21(f): 9:51pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus: what is extremely rare? this particular situation happens every damn time, it's common, very common. matrons during post natal emphasize and always talk about this,because they have seen and heard what women go through when they put to bed from their in laws all in the name of 'omugwo'. this topic has long been over dragged, you men speak like you don't know what women go through in the hands of in laws talking about house helps?if the in laws are of help and cordial to the woman,then it's ok.not that they will come and raise both legs for the woman and still expect her to carry her newborn baby/come home tired from work and cook, clean and serve. men should talk to their relatives too and not just seat and watch their wives turn slaves. most women that don't want in laws for a long time in their homes knows what they want to avoid 2 Likes |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by IamgratefulLord(f): 9:52pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Sanchez01:I love reading your comments. I wish I could write like you. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 10:57pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Vyolet:Yada yada yada
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Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by Triniti(m): 11:00pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
crackkhaus:You are always spot on bro. The one thing that amaze me about these foreign lifestyles that our women copy is that the core westerners not British and Americans still maintain a close knitted family circle. They don’t joke with it, Italians and Russians and some other Europeans are just like us. They know the essence of it. Yes, we know that’s some siblings are troublesome and never do well, but that can never change who we are as Africans, women should learn to live with that |
Re: Couples and Live-in Relatives by crackkhaus: 11:03pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
rain21:If your own mother has not acted that way to her DILs or your MIL has not acted that way to you, then you've got nothing to say about it being normal. As you can see, I took ImaIma's post to heart because it's her own personal experience and it's hurtful. It's not something any woman in my family (nuclear/extended) and social circle can do.. so it's absolutely rare to me. Perhaps if you have such in your family, then just say so instead of basing your opinion on what you heard. |
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I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family / UPDATES: I Need Help , My Head Is Full. tnk u all for ur contribution. / Questions For The Ladies
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