Strongmercy123:
Good evenin everyone. Pls I need a word of wisdom and advice from matured minds here. I’m 28 yrs I will be 29 in 2days.

I feel I’m about to make a life mistake. I have been dating my bf for 10yrs now, yes I was young and independent as at that time, the love was so sweet that we could do anything for each other. My bf left the country 5yrs ago and since then it has been long distance relationships, our communication was good.

He visited Nigeria December last yr and left the first week of January. He Begged me to wait for him again and I agreed. I’m currently pregnant and I’m scared to keep the baby, I spoke to him about it and he was happy.

Recently he is complaining of not having money and all. he has suddenly change with the way he talk to me and he doesn’t even have plans for me. He hardly calls and hardly pick my calls. I have tried to talk to him about his recent attitude and he will always end up calling me nag.

I’m thinking about going for abortion but I don’t know if it’s a great choice. He is 34yrs, pls I need advice.

I don't support abortion because automatically you will become a murderer

Soulmender:
I guess he's going through a tough time there just like he complained about not having money. Most men don't really know how to handle difficult times. Just give him benefit of doubt and bear with him for a while and don't complain or nag then watch if he'll change. And please don't tamper with the pregnancy.

He's not going through shit. Men can change in a twinkle of an eye, they are so confused .

Op please since you said you are independent, do keep the baby.

Flexherbal:


Your feeling is right.

If you have a source of income, give birth to your baby and take care of him/her.

Things will fall in place , at the right time.

Things will fall in place things will fall in place na so many people take end up frustrated and poor forever

Op I can't tell you what to do because only you and him can decide what to do.
First,call or text him and let him know your plans concerning the pregnancy.

From his response,you can make your final conclusion.

Your life your choice. Follow your heart.

Just like one in my area engaged an innocent girl before travelling. Its getting to 7yrs now and he does not have plans of coming back soon. Now she gets mad at anybody that calls her a married woman. Some guys are just mad while some girls are just so foolish.

Good Morning,
Firstly go and meet his family and explain what the issue all abt and let them call him to discuss the issue with him and there discussion shld be at the front of u. Call him and don't nag on phone with the person u don't see because is not easy for a man sacrifice himself to travel out, in Hope of work and money to live.
Keep the Baby and pray for goodness . Advise him and don't nag.

Welcome our new baby mama

He already has a wife there.
Abroad without kpali is as good as nothing.
U,my dear is the side chick soon to be turned Nigerian wife like most of our sisters out there with abroad husband.
Lucky u he didn't lead u on.

If ur guy moved abroad and he isn't a citizen, girl, say bye bye to that relationship.

I must marry abroad husband crew

Strongmercy123:
Good evenin everyone. Pls I need a word of wisdom and advice from matured minds here. I’m 28 yrs I will be 29 in 2days.

I feel I’m about to make a life mistake. I have been dating my bf for 10yrs now, yes I was young and independent as at that time, the love was so sweet that we could do anything for each other. My bf left the country 5yrs ago and since then it has been long distance relationships, our communication was good.

He visited Nigeria December last yr and left the first week of January. He Begged me to wait for him again and I agreed. I’m currently pregnant and I’m scared to keep the baby, I spoke to him about it and he was happy.

Recently he is complaining of not having money and all. he has suddenly change with the way he talk to me and he doesn’t even have plans for me. He hardly calls and hardly pick my calls. I have tried to talk to him about his recent attitude and he will always end up calling me nag.

I’m thinking about going for abortion but I don’t know if it’s a great choice. He is 34yrs, pls I need advice.

Please keep the baby. Move your n with your life....be happy.
The worst mistake anybody can make is marrying an irresponsible spouse.
At 29, what is your means if income? Get real busy....learn a trade if you don't have any? If you have a regular 9-5 job, it's time to start looking at other options that will give you more time and money to look after you and your baby.
This "abroad based boyfriend" conceot is malady! Just see this as a wrong shot, and like a camera..... develop from the negative into a better version of you.
Don't regret any bit of your time with him, don't feel ashamed to have the baby.......you have to start a new vista if your life.

Preshy561:
Any relationship of Morethan 2years without any direction shouldn't be continued and if you are someone that does know her direction and what she wants, you should ask questions and from his answers, you will know which direction the relationship is leading. You obviously wasted your youthful exuberance and looks on a dot, and now, the old man has rejected you.
I'm Sorry, but ask yourself if you are willing to do this or not.

Who is the old man? Is it the 34 year old man or is there someone else?

A decade relationship, wow! Sister you try. Let me just say the longer you date a guy without a serious commitment from him ,the less likely he will marry you. I am sure he feels you want to trap him with pregnancy since he failed to marry you after a decade.


Here is the truth,if you are willing to take care of that child yourself and be labeled as "after one" go ahead cos it's obvious that man does not intend to ever marry you. But baby mama title isn't all that bad ,if you ask me tho. Abroad based man lol the trickiest of them all.

nijabazaar:
Dear OP abort that foetus.

This will save you from a lot of financial hurdle and embarrassment. Having this child, eap if it turns to be a male will jeopardize your chances of getting another Man. Unless u are planning not to marry again.

Don't let others push you around like burnt turkey with hopeless sentiments.

Make away with the foetus and move on with your life

Sir, no matter strong reason you presented, abortion is not an option.

Chi59:
Guys are saying "keep the baby". I have no problem with that.
Yet I see insults being heaped on ladies past the age of 28 and single mothers on this forum every fvcking day. Very nauseating. You don't want her to abort, you say it's sinful, fine.
Yet you call her likes "baby mama".OK, let her abort, you'd still say she's an "evening newspaper".
What!?

Mechionu!

Preshy561:

So, tomorrow, the useless old fool will come claim ownership of the child cos that's what most of these idiots do.

You are not in a position to call the guy a fool. The girl in question didn't use derogatory words against the dude....wetin con be your own?

Strongmercy123:
Good evenin everyone. Pls I need a word of wisdom and advice from matured minds here. I’m 28 yrs I will be 29 in 2days.

I feel I’m about to make a life mistake. I have been dating my bf for 10yrs now, yes I was young and independent as at that time, the love was so sweet that we could do anything for each other. My bf left the country 5yrs ago and since then it has been long distance relationships, our communication was good.

He visited Nigeria December last yr and left the first week of January. He Begged me to wait for him again and I agreed. I’m currently pregnant and I’m scared to keep the baby, I spoke to him about it and he was happy.

Recently he is complaining of not having money and all. he has suddenly change with the way he talk to me and he doesn’t even have plans for me. He hardly calls and hardly pick my calls. I have tried to talk to him about his recent attitude and he will always end up calling me nag.

I’m thinking about going for abortion but I don’t know if it’s a great choice. He is 34yrs, pls I need advice.

You wouldn't be thinking of Abortion if you had other ways of getting funds to take care of yourself and your child. Leave the guy alone for now and concentrate on raising a Beautiful Child. No child is a waste....


What if he changed because you are becoming incessant with calls and requests?
What if things are very bad for him over there and you know he can't come home empty handed?
What if he returns and asks for his baby?

I'm not saying he is right not to take care of his child but try to think Negative as well as Positive.
Stay cute!

Shalom!!!

Interesting

You've known him for a decade and he was with you few months ago. I believe u know him better than all of us. Don't be worried about him not communicating with you, as it has not always been so since he traveled 5 years ago. He probably traveled to see you in December and he's happy you're pregnant.
He's having financial difficulties and the best you can do is support him with encouraging words and prayers, not complaining.
People abroad also go through difficult times.
If u abort!!! He'll never forgive you and you'll never forgive yourself.

Fool for love

How can you be with someone for a decade without firm assurance and I'm not talking about just audio assurances.

Keep the baby and hustle for his/her upkeep. Don't murder soneone who could end up being your messiah tomorrow.

Leave the door of your heart open for new suitors. Don't be blinded by the "abroad" guys. Peace.

What's wrong with both of you?
10yrs

Preshy561:

So, tomorrow, the useless old fool will come claim ownership of the child cos that's what most of these idiots do.

Shut up you dunce. The child is his as much hers so claiming ownership should not be a valid excuse to get rid of the pregnancy. Everybody is an idiot most of their lives, even now you are being an idiot with this comment.

29 and you are considering an abortion... Things will fall in place soon .. God knows that

Just like one in my area engaged an innocent girl before travelling. Its getting to 7yrs now and he does not have plans of coming back soon. Now she gets mad at anybody that calls her a married woman. Some guys are just mad while some girls are just so foolish. My sister you know yourself better than we do and am sure you know the best for you.
Before taking any decision please think twice not to make a drastic one.

Aborting that pregnancy would be the best option for now. Don't be swayed by people telling you to keep it. The dude has moved on and so should you. If you were my sister, this would be me advice to you.

God bless you! Op said he came back for Christmas. He spent money, he is still trying to get himself back. Abroad no easy! Na so e be me now�

After spending and investing, you return back with your ticket and you are trying to get your fit back. Bills plenty(light, water and rent) monthly.


Even my babe is pregnant for me and I’m happy. And I’m making plans but I’m yet to get myself from the expenses made during Xmas. So if she comes with bills now I will just turn off my WiFi .

Sister, give him sometime. He will bounce back . If you have money send to him make first.

Soulmender:
I guess he's going through a tough time there just like he complained about not having money. Most men don't really know how to handle difficult times. Just give him benefit of doubt and bear with him for a while and don't complain or nag then watch if he'll change. And please don't tamper with the pregnancy.

Are you going to terminate a pregnancy he has not denied ownership? His acceptance makes it a legally contestable case if you terminate it. Just speak to his parents let them convince him to come home and try to get a source of livelihood or better still, move to another country with more opportunities. There is no law that says one cannot get married after having a child, though abit inconceivable but its better than nothing. Meanwhile, if he is not making headway, get a serious man and marry. If the man accepts your status as a mother of one. Don't kill the child, especially that of a man who is not a rogue, a product of rape. The young man is doing his best and you cannot blame him.

Preshy561:

So, tomorrow, the useless old fool will come claim ownership of the child cos that's what most of these idiots do.

Better a 30yr old single lady, than a 30yr old single mother.

Some people go just dey deceive themselves with long distance relationship. This same guy the op is talking about is happily married with tree childrens here at iyana Liverpool in London. You are there waiting for him. Dont go and look for seun or lalasticlala and pin your pregnancy on them before it is two late. For your information i am in love with dominique.

Keep the baby, keep the communication and endeavor to keep the Love, Let the Dog roam He will find his way home and back to you.

Well this is really a difficult and tight situations, Some Men runs from responsibility of parenting. 10yrs is a enough to even finish child bearing and you guys used it for dating.
You know where the shoes pinches, you can keep it or abort it.

Like for her to keep it share for her to abort it, in order to make her decide on what to do pls.

Give birth.

never do what you will regret in life. just check my signature.. tas say so.