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In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise - Romance (14) - Nairaland

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My Girlfriend Is Too Stubborn, Please Advise Me / I Am Thinking Of Quitting My Relationship, Please Advise Me On What To Do / Single Mom Advertises Herself For A Husband On Twitter (2) (3) (4)

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Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by luckyehis: 9:38am On Feb 24, 2020
Generalissimo75:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating and eventually marrying a single mother. However, something is not right about this case of yours. I see nothing but mischief in this relationship. From the lady...to her mother. What manner of lady does not do social media "at all "?
What took her so long to tell you she has a child?
How stubborn can a 4 year old be?
How come the mother couldn't cope with a "4 year old's "stubbornness now that you have decided to marry her daughter?
Perfect timing. ...
A word is enough for the wise.



I concur to this reasoning.

Additionally, you can push the wedding forward to take time out to understand and love the child for a set time. If after your set time you still cannot come to terms loving and accepting the boy, it's obvious you have to let the mother go. Cos, the destiny of both mother and son is instricately intertwined for now. Wishing you the very best.
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 9:40am On Feb 24, 2020
mrpaedo:

grin grin
Listen women are very wicked, bile and selfish in nature and more importantly towards men, if they were to rule the world just as men are, they would have turned all men into slaves - and I mean slaves as in, in chains while running errands for them plus hard punishment if we disobeyed. They would have even gone as far as castrating the boy child at birth saving a tiny percentage only for procreation. They would never have been as liberal as men are towards them today.
that's the problem I have with men. The modern man is a disgrace. Take a look at the platforms men created, Nairaland, Twitter YouTube etc, they give a little power to women in those platforms and the women turn it to a complete community for male hatred and all the acceptable norms 100% bias against men. Take a look at Nairaland, a girl will attack you and the moment you respond the female mods ban you. Go to Twitter, all the blue haired raving feminist lunatics whose only talent is male bashing are verified and never get suspended but the moment you respond, your tweets get deleted and account suspended. Go to YouTube, accounts that are solely about how to manipulate men are monetize while any account that attempts to teach men how to resist female manipulation is demonetised.
All these platforms were created by men, they gave them to the women and women use them against men and they can't say jack. Modern men are a complete joke.

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Sweeetheart(m): 9:41am On Feb 24, 2020
A single mother is giving you conditions which should be the other way round


you're taking responsibility of a lady you haven't pay her bride price somewhat that she's now staying with you?


at 26yrs you're lucky to be getting much income and you didn't see a single and career wise lady to date that would help you build wealth together with you? this is what wealthy people won't do


my guy please knock yourself in the middle of your head morning, afternoon and night for 3days for you to be able reason properly


if you know what's best for you, get away with that lady and her problem child before you regret all your life

9 Likes

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Renforce: 9:42am On Feb 24, 2020
Abfinest007:
stop being self-center if she is good marry her since u said she well behaved is hard to see a woman who is submittive .


one problem i have with single mothers is that. when u offend them they will go n post d picture of eir son or daughter saying" my pride .she/he is all i got


Bro.... That last part. Lol!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by lextube: 9:43am On Feb 24, 2020
WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

If you accept that Child and raise him as your son, he will never forget you. Even if he grows up and then goes out to look for his father.
Sometimes it is the legacy and the lives we touch on earth that matters.

1 Like

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Talkingoil(m): 9:47am On Feb 24, 2020
WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

Did you say you don't like noise or whatever in your environment? And you plan marrying the lady? What happens when she gives birth, how are you going to handle the inconvenience of having children around? Oga if you're not ready for marriage better wait, take your time until you are.
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Evercurious(f): 9:47am On Feb 24, 2020
Sarang:


It’s cos it’s not his son
Humans truly are monsters we see
How can someone hate a kid!!

Madam being unnecessarily emotional won't and can't help here. Op simply doesnt have the capacity to absolve what you want him to.. HE DOESNT WANT THIS BATTLE AND ITS NOT HIS FAULT.. We might say it's his WEAKNESS People are wired different..

So let's just respect that.. After all the child's biological father and relatives are very much alive cos the lady never said they were.dead

9 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Skepticus: 9:51am On Feb 24, 2020
XhosaNostra:


I don't give a rat's behind about what you think of me. In fact, fùck you. I hope that makes me even trashier in your eyes.

Good luck on your quest, stinking cûnt!

4 Likes

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Kingrexyl(m): 9:51am On Feb 24, 2020
If you love yourself just break up, don't say I didn't warn you.

4 Likes

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by SmartMen: 9:51am On Feb 24, 2020
Tallguy28:
I think you should break up with her. Move on with your life find another girl. By the way what type of online business do you do? I'm looking for people who have successful online businesses
I believe it is importation. That is the most people do these days.
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Kingrexyl(m): 9:51am On Feb 24, 2020
XhosaNostra:


I don't give a rat's behind about what you think of me. In fact, fùck you. I hope that makes me even trashier in your eyes.
Just shut up and get out of here.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Talkingoil(m): 9:53am On Feb 24, 2020
daddytime:
Wow.....

I'm sitting here and just wondering how you'd handle your own blood if he or she turns out to be more hyper than your babe's son.

You mentioned how you hate noise of any sort, let's just say you definitely ain't prepared to have any kids of your own.

It is obvious you have zero love for this kid and I'm afraid to tell you that, you can't love a momma and hate her toddler kid. From the woman's side, that'd be a no-no.

It's best to "die" this relationship and bury whatever it is you feel for this woman because e no go work.

It's a good thing you are letting it out on how you truly feel instead of to go dey use shame chop winch.

Meat wey person dey forbid e no dey use teeth share am.

If you can't love a kid no matter the circumstance, you'd have same problems with yours for sure and you'd be venting out your frustrations on your spouse and before you'd say Buha....you don open another thread here say your one year marriage don get k-leg.

A child will always return the vibe given. In his innocence, he's able to pick up on your hatred for him which of course won't help him love you in return and the subtle tantrums is what you'll get as his way of protesting/rebelling. Show him some love and you'll be amazed how calm he'd become.

I pray you grow up fast and find a way to handle this pretty well.

Let her go bro....
Not only is he not ready to have kids, he isn't ready for marriage. These folks think once they have a good job that pays well they can then jump into marriage

1 Like

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by mainaugustine(m): 9:54am On Feb 24, 2020
Boss..let's shift from your own problem with the relationship..is your parent okay with your wife been a single mom? One thing I always know is that if you believe you can't then you can't. So if you think or believe you can't then don't start. Well to divorce no dey hard this days so you can still go ahead and marry and if you can't still deal then pak n go. wink wink
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Omotonsho(m): 9:57am On Feb 24, 2020
[In as much as i will like to be frank with you, that lady is only trying to be nice because she already have a baby, immediately you make a mistake of giving her a ring, my brother you may end up regretting.... I am speaking from experience. I marry a single mother just because i felt she was cheated, but today, she is giving me hell in my own house...Please let her go and God will give you your own... Single mothers can pretend to be nice enh..... quote author=WilliamsTheGrea post=86891452]Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice [/quote]

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by daddytime(m): 9:58am On Feb 24, 2020
Sarang:


You are so wise

Thanks!

I learn from life on a daily, I'll graduate when I breathe my last.

3 Likes

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 9:59am On Feb 24, 2020
.
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by henryobinna(m): 9:59am On Feb 24, 2020
Chocolatte01:
kiss

i tried to tell Martinez39s this but his ego wouldn't let him accept that most single mom's aren't interested in young guys, like himself but more older and mature males. Like single dads and widowers
I think both of you are absolutely correct.

Two used products belong to each other and perfectly fits. That's why I won't suggest a single young lady to go for an older man with kids or a widower.

to me it just doesn't make sense at all.

Same goes for single guys.

I can't entertain the thoughts myself, but if you as a single guy must go be sure that the benefits you get from the relationship far outweighs the demerits. as in very far, because all of the time there are always issues.

Also isn't it apparent that single mothers are lovely and all because they're disadvantaged in the dating game? let's be honest with ourselves. Check her life before she got the child and compare with after the child you'll get a perfect picture unless you intentionally want to ignore.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ikorodureporta: 9:59am On Feb 24, 2020
From yr post, it shows u are self centered & jealous that the boy isn't yours. if you truly love the lady, just start producing kids, so as to kill that jealous feelings
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Skepticus: 10:00am On Feb 24, 2020
Korllami007:


That's the biggest red flag staring at op. Just imagine the lady can't say to her kid " You better stop what you are doing or else I'll report you to your dad when he comes back from work". That'll never happen because she doesn't think the guy even worth be the father of her kid. She obviously just there with him for clearing up the bills for her and her kids. If someone that's from the kids bloodline (the kids grandma) can't even endure the kids stubbornness, why would someone that's not even related to him put up with the kid's stubbornness. That's bullish!T.
I don't see why a young man will think about dating a single mom when your brain won't be at rest on how to deal with her kid(s) or her baby daddy. Op never see anything; by the time the baby daddy start coming to his house to see his kid, his brain will reset.

Finding a good woman is already hard enough, so why would a young man complicate things for himself and for his life by marrying a woman with already complicated life?

I don't know what's wrong with our men of these days.

Always settling for crumbs in standard, rewarding bad behaviours and badly behaved women.

A week ago, I almost slapped a younger friend of mine in my neighbourhood, when he happily told me that a single mother (with her kid) was coming over to his house co-habit.

I had to restrain myself and talk some sense into his head. Meanwhile, the slût got him by giving him "abundant" sex. The same sex we all know isn't free.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by NamelessOGBENI(m): 10:00am On Feb 24, 2020
Let's watch out for another interesting episode of "Simps and Sisterhood"
Musa, get me my remote...

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by dominique(f): 10:00am On Feb 24, 2020
You've been dating for about a year, got to know about the boy less than six months ago YET you've paid school fees 3 times already. How is this possible? Goes to show that other parts of your posts are tainted with lies and exaggerations. Would you be complaining about lack of peace and quiet if the child was biologically yours? It's almost impossible to love someone else's child the way you would love yours, it's not your responsibility to pay his school or fund his birthday. But if you know you won't be able to tolerate this child around your physical space, kindly let his mother go

3 Likes 3 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Korllami007: 10:00am On Feb 24, 2020
samuelson06:


Your thoughts about taking care of another man's child maybe synonymous to your age. Grow up bro. What's wrong with taking care or raising another man's child? Every child needs love. Every child is your child. Why can't you love unconditionally as we are admonished to do in the Holy Book? Why so selfish at your age?

What guarantee do you have that your biological child would grow up to become what you want in a child? Stop this please. Repent of your thoughts about that child and accept him into your life wholeheartedly. That may be your opportunity but if you choose to reject him then be rest assured that you have a case with God. This very wrongdoing would rub off on you sooner or later.

You talk as if you can control the outcome of life but you are only but a man. And if you want to make sense of this life, the best you can do is go God's way else you mess up your life with your selfishness. If you like, send both the mother and the child away or you keep them but remember, whatever choice you make, you'll reap the reward here on earth. A word is enough for the wise.

Don't blackmail the guy with your stupid God that will punish him for not taking care of another man's child and the stupid God won't punish the biological father for neglecting his kid. I think your stupid God won't punish the grandmother (the kid's blood) that send him away because she couldn't endure the kid's excess and your stupid God won't punish the mother that told him after 7 months of dating that she has a kid.
If he decided not to take care of the kid, he's in the right part because he's not in anyway related to him and the relationship is already built on dishonesty.
If this is how your God thinks, you are worshipping a stupid God.

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Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 10:01am On Feb 24, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AGAINST MARTINEZ39S CAMPAIGN AGAINST SM, AND I ALWAYS WILL. BUT THE TRUTH IS, KEEPING THE REAL DAD ASIDE, YOUR HAPPINESS IN SUCH A RELATIONSHIP DEPENDS ON THE WOMAN AND THE WAY SHE HAS BROUGHT UP HER CHILD. AT 4 OR 5 YOU AND YOUR OWN CHILD WOULD HAVE BUILT AN UNDERSTANDING THAT WOULD BE UNEXISTING WITH A STRANGER 4 YEAR OLD. LET ME TELL YOU MY STORY.

I ONCE MENTIONED THAT I HAD A COUSIN STAYING WITH ME, PLUS HER KIDS. 2 OF THEM. I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN AS TRAUMATIZED IN THIS LIFE LIKE I WAS, IN THE 2 YEARS WE LIVED TOGETHER. THE GIRL WAS 2-4, AND THE BOY 6-8. I'VE NEVER KNOWN A NOISIER, TROUBLESOME, STUBBORN DUO THAN THESE TWO. I DARE NOT TRY TO CORRECT THEM OR ELSE THE MOM COMES FOR MY HEAD. IT GOT TO THE EXTENT I CAME BACK HOME AROUND 6PM AND FOUND THE GUY ON TOP A MANGO TREE THAT I'VE NEVER EVEN GONE CLOSE TO SINCE I WAS LIKE 10.. AND I JUST WALKED PASS LIKE I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIM CUS TRYING TO SAVE HIM FROM ANY DANGER WILL BRING HIS MOM'S CRAZE TO ME SO I JUST HANDS OFF THEM COMPLETELY, BUT THEY WOULDN'T HANDS OFF ME. SOMETIMES I STAY OUT TILL VERY LATE BEFORE I SNEAK IN CUS ONCE THEY SPOT ME, I'M IN PROBLEMS AND THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO WORDS LIKE STOP OR GO AWAY. SO EITHER I'M AVOIDING THEM OR CHASING THEM AWAY BECAUSE MEHN.. THEY GIVING ME HEADACHES, AND I BECAME THE MOM'S WORST ENEMY. SHE SAY'S I DON'T LIKE THE KIDS BUT I DON'T THINK EVEN JESUS WOULD LIKE SUCH KIDS. cheesy
AFTER JUST 2 MONTHS WITH ME I STARTED HOPING THINGS GET WELL FOR THEM SO THEY LEAVE ME IN PEACE, PLEASE.

ONCE, I ALLOWED THEM HANDLE MY PHONE, LIKE I SEE SOME ADULTS DO. I'M STILL LOOKING FOR HOW I CAN RETRIEVE BACK THE THINGS THE BIG ONE DELETED.
ONCE, I LET THEM INTO MY ROOM. NOT LIKE I LIKED THE IDEA BUT I WAS JUST GONNA GO OUT FOR A FEW MINUTES BEFORE I COME TO TELL THEM TO GO AND PLAY ELSEWHERE. BY THE TIME I RETURNED, THEY WERE GONE. BUT MY ROOM LOOKED LIKE THERE WAS A CLASH OF THUGS AND HERDSMEN. THE HIGHEST OF IT WAS WHEN THE GIRL, 3 AT THAT TIME CREATED THE STORY OF ME RUBBING HER WITH MY GENITALS. cheesy. NAIRALAND FRONT-PAGE SPECIMEN. MY SAVING GRACE WAS THAT THERE WAS A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AROUND INCLUDING THE MRS WHEN HER BABY DECIDED TO GO BERSERK.. IMAGINE IT WAS JUST TWO OF US ALONE? WHO WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED?

FROM THAT DAY ONWARDS FOR THE YEAR I DIDN'T HESITATE TO KICK AND PUSH ANY OF THEM IF THEY CAME AS MUCH AS 1KM TO ME, AND EVEN THREATENED TO KILL MRS, MY COUSIN SISTER, IF SHE EVER MAKES ME DO IT.. I WAS VERY ANGRY. I WAS ANGRY THE REMAINING ONE YEAR UNTIL THEY LEFT. THIS IS MY OWN FAMILY. NOW IMAGINE IF I WAS NOT RELATED TO HER BY BLOOD AND WE WERE HAVING A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. DON'T YOU KNOW I'LL GO CRAZY FINALLY?

I DON'T BLAME THE CHILDREN. I BLAME THEIR MOM. I'VE LISTEN TO THE THINGS SHE TELLS THEM, AND I'VE SEEN HOW SHE RAISES THEM, AND I WONDER WHO WILL EVER ENJOY BEING WITH THIS ONE?
THE KIDS THINK THEIR DAD IS DEADBEAT, AND DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THEM. THEIR PARENTS HAD SOME ISSUES WHICH LED TO MY COUSIN ABSCONDING WITH THE KIDS, FOR TWO YEARS TO COME LIVE WITH ME.. LIKE TEN STATES APART. IN THAT TWO YEARS I KEPT PLEADING WITH THIS WOMAN TO AT LEAST LET THE GUY SPEAK WITH HIS CHILDREN... FOR WHERE. IN TWO YEARS OGA DIDN'T KNOW WHERE HIS WIFE AND KIDS WERE. NO COMMUNICATION. NOTHING. NOW THE KIDS HATE THE DAD FOR ABANDONING THEM, WHILE ACTUALLY, IT IS THEIR MOM CAUSING CHAOS BECAUSE OF HER PERSONAL ISSUES. NO MATTER WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, YOU DON'T DEPRIVE KIDS OF SPEAKING TO THEIR FATHER FOR 2 WHOLE YEARS.

AS A GUYMAN, ARTHUR21, YOU CAN NEVER TRULY BE HAPPY WITH THIS KIND OF INVOLVEMENT. SO YOUR HAPPINESS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SINGLE MOM AND THE CHILD DEPENDS ON THE WOMAN AND HOW SHE RAISED HER CHILD. FOR ME AT LEAST.
Buttresses my point that a child that age is innocent but the parents are to be blamed for any behavior they put up.
Its obvious the mom is the one that encourages his stubbornness by refusing to discipline him. She will pay dearly for it-losing a potential spouse.

It has nothing to do with whether he is the Op biological kid,she will still have refrained him from disciplining the child if it were his own kid.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by golddare: 10:08am On Feb 24, 2020
WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

1. You have resentment towards the father of that boy and I understand but you will be making a mistake to send that boy away on that ground.

2. Children at his age are usually hyperactive especially boys can frustrate so if he is your son what will you do.

3. I have been around for some years and I have seen step son or daughter being the hope of a family, it's a small world and the way God dey do things at times ehen.

4. Forever that boy will always be a part of your wife but you can send him to your wife's parent while you assist in the upkeep so that you and your wife can enjoy your early marriage. Try to do this with understand.

5. A lot of Single mom are great so I wont suggest you leave her.
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by henryobinna(m): 10:11am On Feb 24, 2020
Arthur21:


That is why I never delved into the NL version of red pill ,albeit I follow other mgtow and red pill pages. Till date they live on a wack definition of an alpha male(since a large number of them can't measure up to the real standards of being alpha). Follow other red pill pages on IG,Facebook et Al and you will be ashamed of the ones on this forum.

How can a masculine man who ought to be courageous bend to archaic/medieval psychologies?

I have no reason to hold some guys on this forum to esteem, no wonder ladies here call them dogs and western men are suffering from the lashes of feminism.
We mess up over here,and the sane men over there get scourged instead of black men.


That said,marrying a single mom is better than marrying some buffoons on this forum such as funmistiqueen, ri.ele,lillmissfavy et Al that are without kids.


Let no betnaija player chatting with free WIFI quote me! angry
you're a confused man for real.

Just so you know, western men are fallen men. They've fallen and unfortunately for them, they might never rise again. You think we have a problem here in Nigeria.

I don't know how people think western men are good examples for other men to follow.

5 Likes

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 10:12am On Feb 24, 2020
I will advise you to break up and move on for the following reasons
1. No matter how many children she has for you, she will love that boy more because it is her first child and will be seeing his half siblings as rivals

2. If you can't control the boy now, you can't control him when he grows up.

3. Kids of theses days have sharp retentive memories and so this boy will grow to hate you and if he remains stubborn as an adult might pose a threat to you and his siblings

4. Don't start what you can't finish.

Good luck!!

2 Likes

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by extremelygolden: 10:13am On Feb 24, 2020
LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

My brother, it seems you're new on this platform. Ubunja is not a female. He's a full blooded male.

In fact, he's the grand master of alpha males, red pills and the new invented beta bucks.

If you want to become really heart hardened after a heartbreak, if you want to begin to see women as trash, if you want to wake up one day and begin to doubt the genuine love of your wife, fiancee or girlfriend, read his posts. grin

He's well known here, Sir. His followers will even ask you "have you been Ubunjanised"? And if you say no, they tag you a Simp grin

They're many converted Ubunjanists here already. Just watch and see. By their comments, you shall know them. undecided

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by yomi007k(m): 10:13am On Feb 24, 2020
ubunja:
Find your own girl to give a baby. Don't settle for left overs

No matter how well-behaved and loving a single mother is, remember she's well behaved and loving BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU TO RAISE HER KID. Never forget. If she didn't have that kid she wouldn't be talking to you in the first place. Just remember.

ALPHA FVCKS, BETA BUCKS

Bad Boys impregnate, Simps raise.

My oga. Much love. You make sense everytime.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by MrFly(m): 10:13am On Feb 24, 2020
u are a young boy of 26. U aint matured enough for marriage.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Lexusgs430: 10:14am On Feb 24, 2020
WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice


Only 2 options :-

1 - Love her, love her dog
2 - Dump her, dump her dog......

No half way options..........

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by ianq: 10:14am On Feb 24, 2020
Mummymahdi:
Am a woman, elderly one and I will advice u to quit that R/ship I bet u will never love that kid and problems will never seize in ur marriage till it die. Its so offensive to keep mute in this issue till after 7months. The boy must b a naighty kid for the grandma to quit looking after him. An illegitimate child belonging to another irresponsible man can't be equal with ur own blood . if u are laying foundation of marital life, this won't yield a strong pillar

Preach it, mum. And may they (even just a few) listen.
Re: In A Relationship With A Single Mom; Please Advise by Nobody: 10:15am On Feb 24, 2020
WilliamsTheGrea:



I even asked her that question just now. She said it's a foolish question. She and her pikin don enter room go sleep.
Jesu! foolish question?
Bro you don give that girl body see finish.

4 Likes

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