But seriously, I can't go into any relationship with a single mother, even if she offers me millions as bribe .

Those people wahala dey too much, always bitter

Michellekabod2:

Buttresses my point that a child that age is innocent but the parents are to be blamed for any behavior they put up.
Its obvious the mom is the one that encourages his stubbornness by refusing to discipline him. She will pay dearly for it-losing a potential spouse.

It has nothing to do with whether he is the Op biological kid,she will still have refrained him from disciplining the child if it were his own kid.

She will do it more subtly than how she's doing now.

My only question to OP is if you were to have your own child and the child turns out to be stubborn. What would you do?
You are talking about a 4year boy...hmm.

You fit teach me ? I go like learn when i come around then we go reason this matter abeg

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

WilliamsTheGrea:



I even asked her that question just now. She said it's a foolish question. She and her pikin don enter room go sleep.

you see..... guy for ur own sanity free that girl. ur happiness matter most

Man lemme tell there are only two thing here
1st you were not aware that she is a single mom and dated her for 7month before she let you into her secret..she was either untrustworthy or undeserving of your kind of love
2nd
You can't find peace anywhere bro even the world we living in is not a peaceful one ..so you can simply make peace by telling her to leave or learning how to be a good father

...one thing is constant her you cannot make her choose between you or her son....you would be d looser..

P.s she has already made her decision the rest is your wahala

Omar09:


So ladies have a pattern of how the write?
I mean have you seen husband.snatcha and MissGhosted write on this forum? Or you seen poca.hontas write? These three don't write like how you envisioned ladies write.

On derailing a simple issue.... Y'all too scared to admit to yourselves that op couldn't tolerate that little boy because he is not his kid.

I think you should be intimate with yourself. It releases pressure.

If u find it hard to differentiate men and women when writing I don't sorry

Kingrexyl:
Just shut up and get out of here.

No.

Skepticus:


Good luck on your quest, stinking cûnt!

What quest, dumbass?

ubunja:
are you ready for the truth? Here it is: SHE REALLY LOVES YOU. Honest to God. But women are created in such a way that they reserve their true love for men like you who they can use. In other words her love is real. But also fake. Date a single girl with no kid and she won't love you as much as a single mother will. But the single mother is loving you for the wrong reasons.

Bitter truth

Came4amod:


If u find it hard to differentiate men and women when writing I don't sorry

That is not the issue here

ojuolu:

You are not ready yet. Free her and let her move on. Your excuses are self-centred. Noise, are you saying if you have your own children they won't make noise? Or when they do, you will pick offence?
If you love a woman, you will love her product. If you are not capable of loving the child, don't claim you love the mum. Marriage is not a favour...it is responsibility

me, I personally hate noise, if I have a son today and he's shouting all over the place, I can scold him to go outside and play but if the child is not mine, the parents will think I'm being resentful and wicked to the child because he is not mine that's why I always scold him.

Lastly, he has no business taking care of a child that was formed with the sperm of another man.

The kid is only 4 years for God sake, that's how some male child are,they will change as they grow up.


The only problem here is the fact that you don't want to raise another man's child and not because he is stubborn.
Most male child are very stubborn at that age,if you know you can't cope,I'll advise you sit your woman down and talk to her,let her know your mind ,tell her to take the child back to her mum.

Her mum with many years experience of taking care of children is complaining about her grandson being stubborn, what kind of grandma is that?

Except she doesn't want her daughter to get married because most guys even though they accept to marry a single mum won't want take care of the child or take full responsibilities.


Sit down and talk to your woman,what will be will be.

The truth hear is you would never come to love the boy since you see him as another man's child I would advice you to talk to the mum about the child's welfare that you don't want to take responsibility of the child & later in life the biological dad comes claiming the child if she doesn't agree to it from all indications she won't then I suggest you move on with your life bro & for all those claiming you shouldn't throw away gold to later settle down with stones, bro don't listen to all that you may even end up meeting someone way better than her just keep an optimistic mind there are still good ladies out there without kids. My 2 cent

Please let her go.

Money lenders

For salary earners only

Abfinest007:
stop being self-center if she is good marry her since u said she well behaved is hard to see a woman who is submittive .

You think it is easy? If he's not psychologically ready for it, that means he's not ready. No one can force what you don't want on you. It wasn't in their agreement initially, now that the boy is in his house, it is up to him to decide what he wants. At least, the father of the boy alive and around, he's living too. Why should his burden become that of another man who is not willing? You're not being fair to him.

WilliamsTheGrea
but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.
the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up

I can relate to this. If a kid is not properly and decently raised, it could become a problem for the new parents/guardians.
My neighbour's kid is like that, restless, always wandering around the house, couldn't sit for 5 seconds. It was so irritating to the extent that we don't like having him in our house to look after anytime his parents weren't around. A child that you can't tell to sit down!

"...Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own"

[color=#990000][/color]


From the foregoing especially the bolded, you don't like the lady and we are not sure if you ever want to or are fertile enough to father a child

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

You need to understand that your fiancée comes as a package deal, she has a son. You are acting like the boy is not in the picture. If you are going to be happily married to the mother you have to love and accept the son, that is the package any deviations from that will spell doom to the relationship. So the question you need to ask yourself is are you willing to become a father to this boy? If your answer is no I suggest you break up with this lady and allow her move on with her life.

I will advise you quit this relationship before the devil enters you and you appear on social media because you dropped the child inside a well. At 26, you can find another girlfriend. It is good you know yourself and recognise you don't want to raise another man's child. Your girlfriend is taking advantage of you because a woman who has her own finances would have moved out of your house and cared for the boy herself. But instead she is forming good girl that doesn't flirt while saddling you with financial responsibilities of the boy. Her true color comes out when you beat the boy. She is just with you because of money. I bet you if she sees a rich man who is willing to love her son, she will drop you like a memory and i won't blame her. And on your part if what you feel for her is true love, you will love her son as well. But your Nigerian/African mentality will not let you be great. What am i trying to say? Both of you are not meant for each other. QUIT THE RELATIONSHIP!!!!

kels2010:
She and the child is the complete package if you want the girl be ready to take the child too.. Beside what's there to take of an innocent child who only needs a good father figure in his life

He says wen he grow, d child will go2 find his fatha. Den he is d fool 2 hv carried d boy baggage. He shd leave anotha man farm 4d man 2 cultivate

The OP is not saying the truth, the main reason is that the lady gives more attention to the boy than him ,this led to jealous in the part of OP causing hate, the love is already divided.

The lady's mum is not helping as well, how can she return the boy when the daughter hasn't settled yet? while the OP is not smart enough to have accepted the child at first,

My kindly advise, if u can manage the lady with her baggage (s) tell her to return the boy to her mum and if she refuses let her go.

Don't be "Mumu" William!

Asked your woman to keep the boy with your mother in law so you can leave a peaceful life.
Do you think the boy will not kill your baby if you have one

The troublesome boy will lead you to the early grave and your wife will go back to his sons father thereafter for help.

WilliamsTheGrea:


Do you think it's easy to look a child who you didn't give birth to biologically and invest your money and time in that child?

I'm not impotent I can have my own child. I want to take care of my own child.

U shd live her, bcuz she won't throw d child 4 u. N u will cultivate d farm of anoda man, cuz d boy will go n luk 4 his father. U wud hv wasted resources wen u cn hv ur own son. It's not as easy as u luv d motha. Bcuz d boy isn't urs. N he knows it very well.

You said your relationship is one year old and u claimed she told you about the child 7months ago!! Pls, how come only you also said u'v paid the child's school fee 3times now??
A term is 3months with one month break in between; if you've paid his fee for 3times now, means u'v been aware of the child from the early onset of your relationship.
There's something this OP is trying to hide about the child.

Well, my candid advise would be! Pls, the child is living under your roof now. pls!!! Show the young child some level of love and learn to tolerate the child cos most children are always stubborn in their early child hood, so don't expect him to act like an adult cos the child is trying to explore his world..

Oga!! Ah beg goh buy the boy cake and take him out jare and also do not let this your attitude hurt your girlfriend cos I'm perceiving it's happening already.

if u love the lady and the feeling is mutual, since d boy's father is no where to be found, keep taking care of the child buh ask her to take him to either her relations or anywhere else so long as u promise to cater for him, since u also take care of the lady u should also take care of the child cos he belongs to her buh do not jeopardise your peace and comfort by habouring the child when u arent okay with d idea,(its normal for u to hate what u dont like) my candid opinion is that u shouldnt start up any business for her until u have succeeded in looking for an alternative home for d boy and until u have married her cos she might just change her mind after u have established her with the excuse that she cant do without her son or that she cant love u when u hate her son, i have been in similar shoe before, i broke up with d lady cos she didnt tell me about her 7year old boy until after 1year and 7months even after we were planning marriage

LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

is a man. He changes gender to comment as a woman.

Likewise me......this coming from a female shows d depth of how d woman minds works

LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

Evercurious:



You re so right. But I bet you, the lady will never understand this.. If she.nor.her family members can't take care of the child, then give the child to his biological dad or find another way around it. Some other persons must not bear the consequences of her action and inactions

Hmm! I'm speechlessly speechless.

Most of you saying that he should look the other way and love the child as his own are just the biggest hypocrite's... When someone seeks for advise or opinion...the least you can do is put your self in that persons shoe before giving your advise...

WilliamsTheGrea:


Do you think it's easy to look a child who you didn't give birth to biologically and invest your money and time in that child?

I'm not impotent I can have my own child. I want to take care of my own child.

No mind am... Its always easy to say but to actualize it iro nla.

Just make yourself close to the boy and if you're finding it difficult to do that you can try taking the child to a boarding school else you're not ready to take the lady for who she is.

Arthur21:

That makes you unfit for marriage . we can ask ladies to avoid you likewise.

I think you and your pawns on this forums are the one's living a fantasy( a life revolving around success in staffing females)

Lol. His followers eg. martinez39, are all damaged men who are hurting and have so much hatred and aggression for women. Some are gay. They just use women to have children so that people will think they're players. Nobody takes them serious. Except the gay tosser society.
Most are so weak and pained. They don't even do it from a place of security.