LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

.
Because it's not coming from a woman. Ubunja is a tranny.

The child is her son and she loves him. It is very natural for her to get angry when you mistreat him. It is her responsibility to take care of the child, and if you must marry her, it because an indirect responsibility of yours. It is very understandable if you are not comfortable with him around. So, talk things out with her, if she's understanding, she will understand. You people should go and see her mom and convince her to take back the child. See, there is nothing manly about complaining about the school fees you paid, just because he isn't your child. You should be able to do it for someone else even though they are not related to you. Once the mother accepts the child, please be supportive.

He won't forget you when he grows.

Pls let her go

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

The reason why she told you of the child is because her mom wants the child out of her house asap. If you're ready to bear another mans headache go ahead, if not pull out.

I don't mind loving you with the whole of my heart but when another man's child is involved, I kick you out like a ball, praaaahhh!!

Abfinest007:
i alway advise guys not engage in a match that u are one zero down .na u need a penalty continue there is no var so there is no penalty for u

only if e will play well he can still Draw d Match

Boy, are you well? U are already cohabiting with a lady you are not married to and you come here to ask us some useless questions. Please go and carry your cross.

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

daddytime:
Wow.....

I'm sitting here and just wondering how you'd handle your own blood if he or she turns out to be more hyper than your babe's son.

You mentioned how you hate noise of any sort, let's just say you definitely ain't prepared to have any kids of your own.

It is obvious you have zero love for this kid and I'm afraid to tell you that, you can't love a momma and hate her toddler kid. From the woman's side, that'd be a no-no.

It's best to "die" this relationship and bury whatever it is you feel for this woman because e no go work.

It's a good thing you are letting it out on how you truly feel instead of to go dey use shame chop winch.

Meat wey person dey forbid e no dey use teeth share am.

If you can't love a kid no matter the circumstance, you'd have same problems with yours for sure and you'd be venting out your frustrations on your spouse and before you'd say Buha....you don open another thread here say your one year marriage don get k-leg.

A child will always return the vibe given. In his innocence, he's able to pick up on your hatred for him which of course won't help him love you in return and the subtle tantrums is what you'll get as his way of protesting/rebelling. Show him some love and you'll be amazed how calm he'd become.

I pray you grow up fast and find a way to handle this pretty well.

Let her go bro....

Good counsel. I think op is quite self centered. A 4 years old must act is age na.

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

Omo I'd like to learn your skill..I mean selling of followers and likes

Pls carry on. God will bless you the more for taking care of that child.

Arthur21:

The fact you only get public toilet is just sheer ill luck on your part...you should be weeping that you share a bed with someone easily available for you....thats not a conquest.she can give that kitten also to the driver or barber as well.

Step up your game.

How come your errand boy Martinez is not here yet?

Lol

XhosaNostra:


Wena you like talking kak. Had a man with balls stepped up & raised YOU right, I'm sure you'd have turned out differently. Not this embittered, wretched soul you are now, who obviously wasn't nurtured as a child. No amount of impregnating women & seeing them as conquests is going to fix what's fùcked up with you. While you fancy yourself a coach, what you actually need is a couch to sit on with a good therapist...& a condom. Very important. No more jizzing off, spreading your faulty seed around

Leave that fotze. The guy is damaged, hurt, bitter, pained. This is revenge on any woman who gets within his radius. His children will lack a father's constant presence and end up like him. He really needs a psychologist.

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

you ll break up last last no ni

How much did you sell likes for Facebook and LinkedIn. pls send me details ksolo1910@gmail.com

WilliamsTheGrea:


I do graphic design and I sell social media followers and likes and affordable price for Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn etc.

Did u just say children irritate u, Kai, that's bad na, shebi u will still have kids of ur own, lemme wait n see if they'll irritate u too when they play around.
Besides if u guys can't settle the issue now, pls don't get married, I repeat, DO NOT GET MARRIED.

WilliamsTheGrea:

I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child,

I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child

I don't know what to do.

Yes, you know what to do. You are just looking for an excuse to break up with her and BLAME others for advising you to do so.
You BEAT UP A FOUR-YEAR-OLD! You are not alright my guy. You will have kids, and trust me, they will be stubborn.
You aren't supposed to be in a relationship yet if you truly want my advice.

Abfinest007:
stop being self-center if she is good marry her since u said she well behaved is hard to see a woman who is submissive.


one problem i have with single mothers is that. when u offend them they will go n post d picture of eir son or daughter saying" my pride .she/he is all i got

�����this guy is speaking from experience I tell yah..

LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

That's not a woman o, it's like you're new on naira land.

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old



My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.



Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

ok i will advise on what to do here.
1.i understand the hatred towards the child as it's not your responsibilities.
2.what discussions have you had with your wife to be,is she ready to allow you adopt the boy and make the boy answered and bear your name.
3.what is the father of the child doing,is he claiming total ignorant of the child or he didn't just want the child at all.
4.we've heard cases of a particular woman claiming a guy raped her and latter dump her boyfriend for the same man,is this one of the case.
5.have an honest conversations with your wife,tell her you want to adopt the boy and makes its legal so that you can sue anybody that want to claim in future.

finally i will say you don't like or love the mother of the child cos if you do,you will also love her child,hes stubborn and makes noise tose are just babse;ess excusess,the little boy is just 4 and what do you expect from a boy of that age.if you can cope with it please leave the lady and move on

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

I am exactly in the same situation you are in.She is a single mom but In my case,I like/love the boy and he also does...he is just 1 & half years old and he calls me 'baba(daddy).

Nobody taught him how to call me that name sincerely. He just started calling it one day like that and I was like',who taught him this?'.

I and the mum talked and agreed that we will teach him how to call us 'uncle and anty'.The boy is very sharp and handsome but he can sometimes cry a lot which is the only thing I don't like in children though.

I have come up with this decision which I told the mum cos I don't want wahala in the future.I will go get a lawyer and file a case so that the court will transfer the ownership of the child to me since the default father denied the pregnancy and told her to abort it which she refused.The parents of the default guy didn't accept the gal as well and rejected the child.

On the day of her delivery, it was God that saved her.I even want to sue the guy and his parents for that wicked act cos I can't allow any guy to threat my daughter this way.'You impregnate her,you must marry her' is my slogan.

Michellekabod2:

Its hilarious indeed,is there anything like a good or bad little child? How can a normal person have problem with a four year old kid....??

To be honest the Op needs to seek mental help(this ain't normal). A four year old kid??
That means he can't live with a wife,he isn't fit for marriage because after a month he will have issues with her.

He should let this lady go,its not by force to marry her.

But be rest assured that whoever he gets married to subsequently with will have issues with him . if you can't stand a four year old kid can you stand a nagging wife?

This is abnormal. A four year old kid?chai

Talk is cheap! children at that age tend to come with a lot of mischief especially for boys except u want to deceive yourself. The op is only saying hes not willing to go tru such stress for someone that is not his and no one should criticize him for being sincere

I still wonder how men decide to marry single moms. This people are problems.

Me I cant advice u to do anything but if i am a man i cant take such too

my sincere advise

1.you love this girl before you knew he she had a child and u still love her until the mother decided not to take care of the child again because the child is too stubborn, you agreed to bring the child to ur house for the sake of the love u have for the mother, PERFECT!!!!

2. Now because of the stubbornness of this boy you and ur fiancee are having issues and ur fiancee speculates that you always shout on the child because its not your own child---This is where i have a question .if you are shouting and scolding the child like u would to to ur own , explain to her that the child need to be trained if he must remain under ur roof and if she is not comfortable with it then she has to choose between returning the child to the mother or leaving the rship cos u cant afford having a child u dont have control over

3. but if u have natural hatred for the child cos he is not ur own, here i have a big problem; it simply means u dont love the mother, take the boy as ur own, he is ur child cos the biological father cant take care of him, train him as adopted child, the biological father cant claim the ownership without evident of taking care of him, it is very very simple.


Maturity is key and the earlier you handles this in a real way , put it in black and white, the better for both of you and ur future.



thanks

Hmm, another throwaway account with a made up story. Mscheew.

Maturity is everything!! Everyone can be a FATHER, but not everyone can be a DADDY. If you're financially comfortable train that KID. Nurture him in the way be should grow. Mummy is an aux. Nurse that means she could bring something to the table..
Jointly raise that KID with every love you claim to have for his mother. Be his dad even though he has a father for HUMANITY sake...

LOGOBELT:


I can't believe this comment is from a woman

She said the truth,I am in a kind of situation now single mum r devils my own now Bleep around Mushin Lagos just to cater for her sons mother sisters i wont suffer for another man mistake...

Double standard everywhere if it was a woman you will hear this nairaland stupid men telling her to learn to love the kid .poster give me the lady number you dont deserve her at all.
Mind you there is no quiet 4years old on earth.silly man.

WilliamsTheGrea:
Hello everyone, my name is Williams, I'm a young guy of 26 years old currently engaged to a very pretty young lady who is 24 years old

I do business online and earn good income before I decided to find a lady and settle down with and luckily I found a good one who is decent and don't flirt around or do social media's like whatsapp or Facebook. Hardly receives calls, not friendly with males lol (I managed to woo her through a church member)

We have been 1 year into the relationship now and we are to get married next month but guys the problem I am having now is that she has a child for another man which is her ex she was with when she was young she gave birth at age 20, we dated for about 7 months before she told me this.

Ever since then I haven't really been myself, the child is a male child who lives with her mother but recently the mother called her to come carry the child as she can no longer look after him due to him being a very stubborn boy, the child is 4 years old.

Now she has gone to bring the child to our home, a two bedroom apartment, I'm a kind of guy who loves peaceful environment with no single drop of noise, now ever since the child came in about a week now, I have not had peace, we have quarreled several times because of the child, I'm not really comfortable with the child because I can't love another man's child as my own

My girlfriend is yet to give me a child of my own, the child runs around and doesn't listen except when beaten and each time I beat the boy up when he does wrong my girlfriend looks at me with hatred like I'm maltreating the boy because I'm not the father.

Please guys help me I don't know what to do but I can't cope with the child, I remember paying the child school fees about 3 times since we are together because the child's father isn't doing anything at all.

Now today is the child's birthday and she is asking me for money to get him cake and take him out.


My people of nairaland I cannot accept another man's child no matter what I love the mother but not the child the connection is just now there because the boy isn't of my character I'm a calm man, very calm but the boy is very radical and stubborn children irritate me so much.

I don't know what to do.

Each time this child topic comes up between I and my girlfriend she becomes bitter.

She says she will never take the child to the father or the family of the father that she must raise the child herself.

I don't think I can help train anothrr man child whom in the end will go and find his father after he is all grown.

Please I need advice, she says over her death body will she return the child to the father

I'm not comfortable in my own home.

A lot of things running through my mind like to break up with her for peace to reign

Or rent another apartment for her and the boy to go live in.

Please I need matured advice

My dear brother, you have no business getting married if you do not like noise I'm sorry about her not telling you about the Child on time, but that is your own cross, carry it( final decision wether to go ahead and marry her is your stress alone) i see it as an act of deceit, but yhen again maybe she was afraid of losing you and alowed you guys to get to the bus stop first where a turn around wkll be difficult dor you before revealing the truth, GUY unless you want to have a Childless marriage be ready for war, noise and the place not being in order except you have a strong wife who can alwasy keep the place clean... Children are a blessing, you have to know that you will not own yourself after having children and this will go on for a long time so be ready, else stay single so uou don't give gour future wife stress

The important thing here is she told him. If she hadn't told him and 10~20 years down the marriage he found out it would be another kettle of fish. Everybody will finish the poor wife and he will be justified .

I stand by what i said, he either takes her and love her with her baggage or clear the fu*k out of her life and not put an innocent boy into eternal misery.

Korllami007:


He sounds selfish to you, but the woman that told him she has a child after 7 months of dating him is what?