Please State the real problem:

He no longer has your time!

Have you decided when to take the sniper??

lomprico:


have you taken your drugs this morning?

[color=#] 1880332[/color]

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Some things may be at play here.
1. Your husband is a very considerate empathetic person who may be thinking that if he leaves house chores to you, it may cause undue stress to you since you are breastfeeding and just had his baby (especially if its the first baby). Hence he would rather take the pain and do the chores himself no matter he stressful.
2. Your husband may be the hyper neat type and cannot stand any form of filth or disorder. I have an in-law like that. He is a busy man, but he will literally check rugs with his palm to check for sand grains, check and ensure there is no minor speck of dust. This man literally washes his car engine everyday after work, and his car has to be washed everyday including the rim interiors, tyre hood, underneath the car and every tight corner you can think off. His so which is a toddler was given the same treatment, no exceptions, every thing must be orderly and neat. That kid is 4 years and does not even scatter toys, clothes or anything for that matter. Even doors must be appropriately opened or closed dependent on the time of the day. So some men are just like that.

get him book on people pleasing. i am done with one its free online in some website. THe disease to please, is a good book to startt with written by Harriet b braiker.


Your husband is hiding some emotional flaws in trying to please you. its good you are speaking out. Only a novice in clinical psychology would say you are trying to over complain about a nice man he is. Unfortunately trying to win your heart while doing all chores at home is not helping whom he think he is trying to help either. Thats why its a problem and it stems from people pleasing syndrome. In his mind his level of respect is increasing not knowing its decreasing acctually.

its Good you spoke out. You can read and help him or download for him to read. its not normal. Other bahaviour are hidden under such little intricacy.

funshint:
The husband simply can't tolerate living like a pig. He has sensed you're lazy and dirty that's why he's taking it upon himself to do all the chores. Correct husband!

That is what happens when a man marries a woman that can only offer sex & breeding as her only usefulness.

hello nairalander, kindly help me with transport to my home town as kaduna lock down is extended, what i need is 5k. thanks 0038590547, access bank.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

shut up an appreciate your husband

Maybe he should get an helper for you then

Your hubby takes your baby to daycare in the midst of Covid-19? What a stup!d fake story.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans

BITCCHES
reallyy want from a niggggr?

Fixed

First off, is this a pre Corona write up or now that schools have been on lockdown since almost a month or are you guys in Jupiter?
You women have problem, a husband helps you complain he doesn’t you complain, if he starts going out you claim he’s not helpful and he’s cheating.
Well point of correcting, any healthy man shouldn’t sleep beyond 6am wether he has a job or not, so ur man healthy and I believe in the other room too. Pls stop whining and enjoy your loving and caring husband.
They are trying to depopulate blacks or worst still annihilate us, we are busy with solution to stop them. Your case can’t be on our neck this period, pls we beg you.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

Women

Clout chaser! That's what you are.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

for those that cannot read long post, let me summarize, Op husband is a good man and Op is very very Lazy and she's guilty for over stressed her hubby with her laziness.

If your husband is not doing anything to help, you will still complain. What do you really want ?

What some women are actually looking for.... This life is not fair I swear

Beosten:
Dey blow English dey go.

Once the baby sleeps in your arm, transfer her to the bed na so that you can do chores while asleep.

this man ,,you really funny oooh ...which one be dey blow English dey go again ?

He's giving you too much idle time, soon you will start remembering your ex.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

If the same man doesn't do anything it is still you that would complain!! THE Real question is "WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT"

CaptainStephen:
This one is surprising o, me for instance does exactly what your husband is doing and I damm love it.
My wife even finds it amazing sef

How do you know the op is not your wife?

Before you know it, this lady will start looking at her hubby as less of a man. Especially if knacking her goes down as a result of the new baby and the man trying to make her rest enough.
She dey complain of missing cuddling now. Na so e dey start.

You can never satisfy humans. Never mind women.

Beautykate:
I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

One day, he will be tired of the home where he has no time to relax or joke but to be up and doing while watching his wife sitting in a spot berekete, getting fatter because she's a nursing mother.

Then you will come to realisation that you should have assisted him and made fun out of the chores.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

which state re u in lagos

funshint:
The husband simply can't tolerate living like a pig. He has sensed you're lazy and dirty that's why he's taking it upon himself to do all the chores. Correct husband!

He's indirectly telling her to up her game.

All these long write-up is just because your sex life has drastically reduced, and you feel it's because the little time your husband should rest and prepare for better nacking will be used in doing chores therefore a very obvious reasons not to touch you.
Lol, just don't allow him do chores anytime he's back from work, so that he can have enough rest before the night business. Thank you

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Me wont lie. I lazy for house tins, my incoming wife sorry oo

sweetmelanin:

Hmmm

.. why do I have a strong feeling that this story is fake?

It look fake because is rear...meanwhile, the husband might not be extrovert, but does like dirt.


Op, you should try to tidy up a bit, that is : clean where is dirty immediately don't wait till later, that would minimise his house core. May be you should learn to give him the baby to carry. Don't give excuse of breast feeding.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11442328_4532201_png18dcf3462442830253391a2f90b759d4

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

It’s unknown..

Let me say I understand how you feel!


You didn't tell us how old the toddler is?


My advice is, wait until you wean (stop breastfeeding) the toddler, then you see if your husband will still continue with the chores.


I'm very sure he wasn't like this when you guys got married, maybe he only understands the fact that you're a nursing mother and hence he had to change to adapt to the current situation (my kinda man).



"The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't."
On the other hand, considering your above statement it might be difficult for your husband to stop since he'll always find mess in the house because there will always be mess and you will over look, then he will come do the clean up.
So, I'll also advice you put u the habit of not walking away from any mess around the house,, so that he'll find little or nothing to do when he comes back.