samwash:


That's a lovely husband you have.
If I may ask you, you kwn ur man better, has he been doing this before you guys got married or his behavior just suddenly change ?
Pple like him don't like seeing dirty & can't stay in dis-organize environment. Just try to always cushion him.
I have seen few men like him, when you look deep down family history you will be amazed that it boils down to good parental up bring. From expirence.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

darknez:


You sound like someone I know. If you are the person I have in mind then the work will not kill your husband. He is like that. Right from when I first knew him. I told him then that he will have a problem when he gets married. His "too clean" ways will put unnecessary pressure on his future wife.

I would advise that you take it easy. You are breastfeeding and that in itself is a full time job. You don't need to bother much right now. When your child is old enough and you are strong enough then do only the chores you can. Do not try to go beyond your capabilities in a bid to get him to do less chores. You will lose! He has been like that for years before you came into the picture.

Look for alternative ways to get him to forget about work. You can start with ensuring you reduce the way you litter the place. I assure you that the way he does his chores will not kill him. He may die faster if he stops. Now this is me being a little extreme but I think he has a condition which may not let him stop doing that much chores even if he wanted to.

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

funshint:
The husband simply can't tolerate living like a pig. He has sensed you're lazy and dirty that's why he's taking it upon himself to do all the chores. Correct husband!

vickydankal:
I just hope that your female friends are not on Nairaland reading this else ......

Beosten:
Dey blow English dey go.

Once the baby sleeps in your arm, transfer her to the bed na so that you can do chores while asleep.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans really want?

cococandy:

The name is the obvious giveaway. Same thing I thought

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

Beautykate:


That's the problem, he will not allow me to do anything, and it really pains me seeing him stressed out.

chuksp09:
Your intentions are not even right. You want him to do less not because you want him to recover, but because you want him to cuddle you and give you fun times. You want him to reduce his workload for your own selfish ends not for his wellbeing actually.
No wahala... When his brain resets, y'll wish you had made yourself useful.
My mum had me on her back while doing house chores, teaching and selling on the side.
Ma'am you're not ready.

darknez:


You sound like someone I know. If you are the person I have in mind then the work will not kill your husband. He is like that. Right from when I first knew him. I told him then that he will have a problem when he gets married. His "too clean" ways will put unnecessary pressure on his future wife.

I would advise that you take it easy. You are breastfeeding and that in itself is a full time job. You don't need to bother much right now. When your child is old enough and you are strong enough then do only the chores you can. Do not try to go beyond your capabilities in a bid to get him to do less chores. You will lose! He has been like that for years before you came into the picture.

Look for alternative ways to get him to forget about work. You can start with ensuring you reduce the way you litter the place. I assure you that the way he does his chores will not kill him. He may die faster if he stops. Now this is me being a little extreme but I think he has a condition which may not let him stop doing that much chores even if he wanted to.

Adasun:
Lols,what do humans women really want?

Beautykate:
I am writing to ask if you can help me to persuade my husband to do less around the house. I am worried that he is going to make himself ill from exhaustion. Also, and it is hard for me to say this to him without being hurtful, I married him for his fun personality not his work ethic and I fear I am losing him to domestic drudgery. I want an equal partner, not a slave.

We have a toddler and a baby, born few months ago. During the pregnancy, I was quite tired and run down and my darling, supportive husband started to do more and more around the house and with our son (and despite a full-time, responsible job, he has always done more than his fair share of housework). I am now breastfeeding the baby, which is tough because he barely stops feeding and won't really nap anywhere except in my arms.

So this leaves my husband doing the shopping, tidying, washing and cooking. He gets up at 6am every morning to get our toddler ready for nursery, with a packed lunch, and he drops him off before he can get himself off to work. Meanwhile, I just sit around feeding the baby!

I feel permanently guilty and as if the only way I will get my husband to do less is if I do more. The thing is that I can walk away from mess and he can't.

I hugely appreciate him helping, but, beyond the basics, would rather see him sleeping or even cuddling me on the sofa rather than trying to be on top of everything. I love my husband – he is truly the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful lover and father, but I find myself resenting the fact that I barely see his fun side these days because he is so tired that he is essentially ill – and I can't help thinking it is at least partly self-inflicted

tidalstorm:
You are just insecured because you feel you should be doing the house chores while he goes out. It is a result of the conditioning of our culture where men where not suppose to go to the kitchen or do house chores.
Your husband sounds like a good person or you don get him mumu button. Enjoy it while it last.